Film The Redcafe Movie review thread

EspadaYdaga

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Dr. Dwayne said:
Isn't this the one where they eat live monkey brains? Whilst perhaps titilating for you, Espada, to see a monkey in bondage, I'd think you'd be in tears to see such a waste of fine monkey ass.

Or was that Faces of Death II?
yeah it was that one... and it made me feel sick.... i wanted to kill that guy who was bashing it's head in with a hammer
 

Dr. Dwayne

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EspadaYdaga said:
yeah it was that one... and it made me feel sick.... i wanted to kill that guy who was bashing it's head in with a hammer
I didn't feel any emotion during the other stuff (I actually cheered for the gator in one scene) but them smashing that poor lil' monkey's head in made me want to cry.

I would rather they had sent it to you for a quality rim job.
 

EspadaYdaga

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Dr. Dwayne said:
I didn't feel any emotion during the other stuff (I actually cheered for the gator in one scene) but them smashing that poor lil' monkey's head in made me want to cry.

I would rather they had sent it to you for a quality rim job.
:lol:

but really.... same here... the rest of it didn't have any effect on me but that monkey scene was fecked up....
 

golden_blunder

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ZULU


Plot: Based on a true story. Brits try to colonize africa. The natives say no thank you. Outnumbered British soldiers do battle with Zulu warriors at Rorke's Drift.


Rating: 8 out of 10. One of the all time classics.
 

Dr. Dwayne

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A stupid mom (Julianne Moore) has her kid die and tires to cover it up with the usual "it was a black guy done jacked my ride" story. Mr. Mo'fecker himself is the cop assigned to uncover the real story by sticking with the mom. Overly melodramatic at times, the ending doesn't really surprise. This move is Samuel L. Jackson's "best work" in the following two instances:

While describing his first meeting with the mom to another cop:

Samuel L. Jackson: "She shook my hand. She shook my motherfeckin' hand!"

In another scene after another black cop gets lambasted for being a "three piece uncle tom" Samuel L. weighs in with "Yeah, brotherfecker" or something like that.

Otherwise, this movie is useless.

2/10
 

EspadaYdaga

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Dr. Dwayne said:
A stupid mom (Julianne Moore) has her kid die and tires to cover it up with the usual "it was a black guy done jacked my ride" story. Mr. Mo'fecker himself is the cop assigned to uncover the real story by sticking with the mom. Overly melodramatic at times, the ending doesn't really surprise. This move is Samuel L. Jackson's "best work" in the following two instances:

While describing his first meeting with the mom to another cop:

Samuel L. Jackson: "She shook my hand. She shook my motherfeckin' hand!"

In another scene after another black cop gets lambasted for being a "three piece uncle tom" Samuel L. weighs in with "Yeah, brotherfecker" or something like that.

Otherwise, this movie is useless.

2/10
i saw that.... what a pile of shit
 

olesmyhero

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PLOT
Cocaine dealer wants to get out of the life, but whitey wants to get in the way.

REVIEW
My favorite blaxploitation film of all time. Ron O'Neal delivers a solid performance as the cocaine dealer Priest. One of the best ever soundtracks courtesy of Curtis Mayfield.

RATING
9/10
 

Joe Stalin

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PLOT:
Set in the United Kingdom, the film concerns the breakdown of society following the release of a plague known as “Rage” (which almost instantly locks those who are infected by it into zombie-like creatures, a state of irreversible hyperactivity and murderous insanity), and the struggle of a handful of survivors trying to come to terms with the ruins of everything they once knew.

REVIEW
This is a stylish indie flick and is one of the few films that I can watch over again. Some great scenes of a post-apocalyptic London, however acting in places can be a bit dry.

RATING
8.5/10

Also look out for the sequel 28 weeks later in 2007.
 

goldenballs

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Quadraphenia 1979






London, 1965: Like many other youths Jimmy's hates the philistine life, especially his parents and his job in mailing division. Only when he's together with his friends, a 'Mod' clique, cruises London on his motor-scooter and hears 'The Who' and 'The High Numbers', he feels free and accepted. However it's a flight into an illusionary world.

8/10 well worth a watch
 

Dr. Dwayne

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Plot: Another Blaxploitation pic, this time with a female in the lead role. Smart, sexy and dangerous, Cleopatra Jones is a federal agent like no other, on the job to bust heroin trafficking gangs in the ghettos of the US. She also operates internationally and is hard to kill. Lots of gunplay and kung-fu. Doodlebug and Mommy are great villans.

Review: Great fun this film and if you wanna learn how to talk jive, fool, you'd better know who your friends are, before you start runnin' your mouth!

Rating: 7/10, 10/10 if you're high.

I'd recommed the sequel "Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold" where she travels to Macau (I think) to take on a Chinese Herion Gang.
 

FreakyJim

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imdb

Plot: In the underbelly of the Parisian criminal world, the Police are frustrated by a gang committing a series of violent robberies...


Forget about "The Departed", "Mou Gaan Dou", whether a remake was sensible or not and which of the two's better. Doesn't matter. If "The Departed" could be considered as Jack Nicholson's big return, so should "36" for Gérard Depardieu - One of the most cold-blooded killers I've seen in films for years.
Seriously, I wasn't expecting anything from "36" but it turned out to be a great piece of cinema. French cinema :) It's not narrowed to the typical Drama / Crime drivel and it's clever, well written and of course - played.
I can pretty well guarantee you're not be disappointed if you take the risk to see it.

8/10
 

VP

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Plot

Snakes on a plane

Rating
2/10

So bad almost entertaining.
 

Wibble

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Some of you lot give very generous marks.

28 Days Later would get a solid 5/10 from me. Very ordinary. Quadraphenia wasn't very good either 4/10 IMO.

Totally agree with plech re. Ferrel type comedys. Half arsed and often based on one amusing idea that could have been developed into a good film but they were just too fecking lazy.

There Is Something About Mary is what these sort of films could have been woith less lazy scripts, direction and acting.
 

Wibble

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Hidden

Director: Michael Haneke
Starring: Daniel Auteuil and Juliette Binoche

And unusual French language thriller with hints of Hitchcock. Don't bother if you gravitate to the Armageddon end of the film spectrum but if you enjoy foreign language films in general and/or like films that make you feel and think e.g. Memento then you will enjoy this. The slow pace and lack of a soundtrack make this a slightly challenging film to watch but if you have lots of time to relax, preferably in a quiet/dark place so that you can be drawn into the feel of the film, it is highly rewarding.

The basic plot is that a couple start getting odd video tapes of the outside of their house wrapped in odd drawings, seemingly drawn by a kid, of a kid's head with blood coming out of the mouth. The rest you can discover as you watch.

My film of the year so far 8.5/10

To give you perspective I would give Godfather 2 and Apocalypse Now 9.5/10 and Three Colours Blue 9/10.
 

Spammy

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Bruce Almighty

What a stinking pile of sentimental shit. I would rather shove an orange up my arse than watch this again. If you are a 12 year old Christian who believe in the moral message thats being rubbed in your face, than you might enjoy this. If however, like me you are an athiest, then the only thing (apart from the occasional giggle at a silly joke) that will keep you watching, is the massive tits of Catherine Bell. A film that is bordering on propaganda (ok maybe thats a bit harsh), basically preaches from the rooftops about the choices you should make in life, it's like God paid some hollywood studio to make a propaganda film about him. Well maybe I'm going a bit far, but if a film comedy promoting atheism was ever made we would never hear the end of it.


-10/10
 

golden_blunder

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speaking of which..

Im gonna git you sucka!


Plot: In this parody of blaxploitation movies, a black hero wannabe reunites former black heroes from the 70s to help him get revenge on Mr. Big.

One of my favourite movies. Early stuff by the Wyans.

Rib Joint Customer: Ya got any soda?
Hammer: One dollar.
Rib Joint Customer: Aw, c'mon, now! Look out for a brother, man, c'mon, yeah. Check this out: why don't you let me get a sip for fifteen cents?
Hammer: My cups cost more than fifteen cents!
Rib Joint Customer: All right, feck the cup. Pour it in my hand for a dime.

Rating: old but still fun, 7 out of 10
 

Wonder Pigeon

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Reservoir Dogs

Plot:6 thieves, Mr.White, Mr.Blonde, Mr.Orange, Mr.Pink, Mr.Blue and Mr.Brown attempt a jewel heist at the behest of Joe "Daddy" Cabot.They make a bit of a hash of it.Violence ensues.

Rating:8 out of 10, its great.
 

olesmyhero

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PLOT
An aging documentary filmmaker sets out to find the animal that killed his best friend.

REVIEW
It takes a certain type of person to like Wes Anderson films. They're often a bit awkward and quirky, leaving some people not liking them. I just so happen to be a fan of his movies. This is another funny movie, but in very subtle ways. I don't think it's Anderson's best, but still a good movie.

RATING
7.5/10
 

Wibble

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I am one of those people. The Life Aquatic was slow, lazily acted, plotted and directed, obvious and unfunny.

0/10
 

Wibble

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My Super Ex Girlfriend

Ordinary guy's new girlfriend is a superhero and a mentalist, he dumps her, she goes even more mental, unfunny stupidity follows.

1/10 and it only got that because I watched it in a good mood over Christmas.
 

Wibble

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Three Burials

Starring: Tommy Lee Jones

A film anout friendship, keeping promises, redemption and the lies we tell ourselves. One of the better films that I have seen this year.

7.5/10
 

olesmyhero

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Wibble said:
My Super Ex Girlfriend

Ordinary guy's new girlfriend is a superhero and a mentalist, he dumps her, she goes even more mental, unfunny stupidity follows.

1/10 and it only got that because I watched it in a good mood over Christmas.
Tell me your missus makes you watch these sorts of films?
 

zing

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Davo said:
Hollow Man

The Plot
Kevin feckin Bacon makes himself invisible, and then goes mental.

Rating 1/10

This is arguably my least favourite film of all time. Not just because it's feckin shit, and it is feckin shit, but also because it had decent potential. A invisible bloke....he could get up to all sorts. But no, he just goes all weird for no real reason, and then survives some massive explosion to try and set up an exciting ending...which fails

Bag of shite, I hope the director's hung himself from shame...
Elizabeth Shue, I think that's her name.. is absolutely hot.
 

zing

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The Last Samurai
Plot
Nathan Algren(Tom Cruise) is some ex-American general who is hired by the Japanese to lead their army in war against the Samurai. He's captured by the Samurais during battle and learns their ways while living in captivity.

Review
Fantastic movie. It's one of my favourite ones. Ken Watanabe was fantastic as Katsumuto... I think that was his name. The whole thing is shot in a beautiful place(in the mountains of Japan, I guess) -- it's a beautiful movie.

One of those movies you'd love to watch on a day when you're bored as feck.

8.5/10
 

noodlehair

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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Plot: Pirates, more pirates, and a bloke with a squid on his face, who is also a pirate. I actually thought it was quite good. It gets a bit more serious than the first one, towards the end at least. There's a bit near the start where Johnny Depp turns into a real life Plechazunga, for about twenty minutes. He even says "bugger" at the right moment. Spastic ending

7/10
 

Salvation

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Mystic River

3 Blokes who were good mates when young, then get seperated or summink, then doubts arise about one killing the other's daughter.

Haven't read the book so can't comment on how good an adaptation is. But purely as a movie plotwise its strictly avarage. Good performances. Saw Tim Robbins in this for the second time only after Shawshank and found him completely transitional. Sean Penn is good as always, and the third bloke too has done a good job.

Yet, hyped up and I like Clint Eastwood movies.

5.5/10
 

utdalltheway

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I liked that Mystic River one. 7/10 for me.

Office Space: a few guys that work in an office in southern California are sick of their jobs and when a couple of dudes come in to restructure the office they decide to do something with their lives.

some great moments but Jennifer Anniston never got her fun bags out so 6.5/10.
 

MarliMan

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City Of God

Plot: set in Brazil obviously. its about a load of brazilians in the City Of God shooting up each other and trying to take over each gangs turf. alot of shooting killings and what not. really about the struggles of these brazilians who make a living for themselves by selling drugs, guns and the lot. Main characters a kid called LIL' ZE, he's a right little bastard, likes to kill people ever since he was about 10-11 years old

Review: great movie, visuals are excellent and has this real life gritty look to it. its subtitled cos they all speak portuguese in it so if your illiterate like Martin jost watch the pictures and smile like a numptie.:)
8/10
 

Spoony

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Salvation said:
Mystic River

3 Blokes who were good mates when young, then get seperated or summink, then doubts arise about one killing the other's daughter.

Haven't read the book so can't comment on how good an adaptation is. But purely as a movie plotwise its strictly avarage. Good performances. Saw Tim Robbins in this for the second time only after Shawshank and found him completely transitional. Sean Penn is good as always, and the third bloke too has done a good job.

Yet, hyped up and I like Clint Eastwood movies.

5.5/10

It was a good film.
 

golden_blunder

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SNAKES ON A PLANE

Plot: On board a flight over the Pacific Ocean, an assassin, bent on killing a passenger who's a witness in protective custody, lets loose a crate full of deadly snakes

Absolute ridiculous plot, only saved by hot stewardesses (Sunny Mabrey hubba hubba) with great legs. Samuel L Jackson against a plane full of snakes. Stupid ending.

Rating:
3 out of 10
 

golden_blunder

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ROCKY BALBOA

Plot: Rocky gets his imagination fueled by a boxing game pitting him against the current champion. With his wife dead he sits around thinking about boxing and getting rid of the 'beast' inside him once and for all. He gets an exhibition match against the current champion, and so the training begins.

Really disappointed they didnt use the original Rocky music in the movie. Especially in the training scenes. Apparently Stallone wrote this one which maybe explains why the first hour was boring as feck. Try not to look at Stallones face close up, its obvious hes had plastic surgery. His eyebrows look funny. Its wrong watching an old man in the ring wooooooooooh. And come on hes still wearing that same fecking hat he wore in the 70's. All in all its almost a shit remake of the first movie.
It does close off the series well though.

Rating: a generous 6 out of 10. Just because its Rocky.
 

Rutilus Diabolu

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Took the kids to see this today and we all (including me) realy enjoyed it.

PLOT.

Roddy is a decidedly upper-crust "society mouse" who lives the life of a beloved pet in a posh Kensington flat. When a sewer rat named Sid comes spewing out of the sink and decides he's hit the jackpot, Roddy schemes to rid himself of the pest by luring him into the "whirlpool." Sid may be an ignorant slob, but he's no fool, so it is Roddy who winds up being flushed away into the bustling sewer world of Ratropolis. There Roddy meets Rita, an enterprising scavenger who works the sewers in her faithful boat, the Jammy Dodger. Roddy immediately wants out, or rather, up; Rita wants to be paid for her trouble; and, speaking of trouble, the villainous Toad--who royally despises all rodents equally, making no distinction between mice and rats--wants them iced ... literally. The Toad dispatches his two hapless hench-rats, Spike and Whitey, to get the job done. When they fail, the Toad has no choice but to send to France for his cousin--that dreaded mercenary, Le Frog.


Rating 8/10.


 

Livvie

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PLOT - Two young Traveller boys "steal" their horse back after it was sold by a corrupt policeman. They are tracked to the west of Ireland by the police, and also their father who still grieves over the death of his wife in child-birth and has been neglecting the welfare of the children whilst he drinks himself senseless. A hint of myth and the supernatural.

Gabriel Byrne is easy on the eye, but Ellen Barkin was a bit superfluous.

Two amazing child actors and the story doesn't get mawkish.

Rating - 10/10 from me.