Things about football that get you unreasonably annoyed…

the expression 'in this moment'. it started out from foreign football managers who didn't know how to say 'at this time' and has now inexplicably found its way to english speaking players and pundits.
fukn stop it.
 
Massive clubs not learning their lessons and continuing to make the exact same mistakes. Case in point. Manchester United.
 
The positioning of the ball at corners it really boils my piss. How much advantage does a professional footballer get from that? It's pathetic.
 
I hate how overly celebratory some managers get when their teams score*. I mean, I get it, they set out the team, decide tactics, some moves and set pieces etc etc. But football is at its core a very chaotic sport with lots of random events culminating in the creation and scoring of goals that asides the player scoring and his teammates, the manager really has almost nothing to contribute to that goal.

Yet you see cnuts on the touchline sliding into the pitch or fistpumping aggressively like they had it all planned out from the first move to the ball landing in the net. So annoying.

* I have no issues with managers celebrating results as that's what they are judged on at the end of the day. Just not overelaborate goal celebrations.
 
The positioning of the ball at corners it really boils my piss. How much advantage does a professional footballer get from that? It's pathetic.

But if and as it doesn't give any advantage why does it bother you so much?

Also:

No it's not.

Think about goal line technology, it's only a goal of the whole ball is over the line,
The same rules apply with throw ins, corners and when putting the ball down to take a corner.
 
Because it's unnecessary and can hold up the game when they argue it's in or not or when the official gets them to move it.

It takes literally 5 seconds to sort it out. But fair enough, it does say unreasonably in the thread title.
 
Also the amount of time wasting keepers do particularly when they throw themselves on the floor making a simple catch at the end of the game.
 
The constant barrage of meaningless stats, and people who think stats are more representative of what happened in a football match than what actually happened in a football match.

"Well, we may have lost 3-0 but we had more attempted crosses and our xG was 0.08 higher". It's somehow got to the point where entire league seasons are being dismissed in favour of what should've happened, according to whatever stat they've decided to favour that best suits their agenda. In another thread someone posted a league table based on xg, xpts or whatever it was and Fulham were second bottom. Fulham have been amazing this season to anyone with a functioning set of eyes, but apparently they should be relegated :lol: Leicester were about 10th. We used to mock RAWK for their Alternative League Table...
 
Whenever a player does something they’re known for, eg dribbling past a couple of opponents, or a similarly skilful move, the commentator will say ‘that’s a nice little *cameo* of the player’s abilities there’. I think they’re using the word ‘cameo’ as a synonym of ‘example’.

Why not just say example? Because that’s not what cameo means, in any context. I think it was Andy Gray who started this trend, but now a lot of commentators do it. Modern commentators in general really boil my piss, but this is something I find particularly egregious.
 

Pep and how fake he is.

Exhibit 1: when he cried about Aguero leaving saying “we cannot replace him!” knowing full well they were getting Haaland a year later.

Exhibit 2: when he said if Man City were guilty of there 115 charges he would leave immediately, then very recently saying he would stand by the club no matter the outcome.

Fantastic manager and even better bullshitter. Wouldn’t trust a single thing that comes out of the man’s mouth and can fully see why there some ex-players who absolutely despise him.
 
Being linked with Declan Rice and Mount the same day.
We were also linked to Tammy Abraham….that’s the one that really did me. I wouldn’t want Mount or Rice but I can understand it. Tammy fecking Abraham though….
 
No it's not.

Think about goal line technology, it's only a goal of the whole ball is over the line,
The same rules apply with throw ins, corners and when putting the ball down to take a corner.
It's not cheating but it serves absolutely zero purpose and gains zero advantage.
 
Pep and how fake he is.

Exhibit 1: when he cried about Aguero leaving saying “we cannot replace him!” knowing full well they were getting Haaland a year later.

Exhibit 2: when he said if Man City were guilty of there 115 charges he would leave immediately, then very recently saying he would stand by the club no matter the outcome.

Fantastic manager and even better bullshitter. Wouldn’t trust a single thing that comes out of the man’s mouth and can fully see why there some ex-players who absolutely despise him.
HE said he was a little boy when we won the treble in 99, but actually he was 28 and had over 300 appearenaces for Barcelona. He's full of shit
 
We were also linked to Tammy Abraham….that’s the one that really did me. I wouldn’t want Mount or Rice but I can understand it. Tammy fecking Abraham though….

I dont want Abraham but i would rather have had him this season than Mount or Rice. Weghorst isnt good enough, CR37 wasnt good enough, Martial was injured most of the time. Having a striker for this season would have been nice.
 
Pep and how fake he is.

Exhibit 1: when he cried about Aguero leaving saying “we cannot replace him!” knowing full well they were getting Haaland a year later.

Exhibit 2: when he said if Man City were guilty of there 115 charges he would leave immediately, then very recently saying he would stand by the club no matter the outcome.

Fantastic manager and even better bullshitter. Wouldn’t trust a single thing that comes out of the man’s mouth and can fully see why there some ex-players who absolutely despise him.

I am so fake.. so so fake.. more than you believe.
 
It's not cheating but it serves absolutely zero purpose and gains zero advantage.
Other than giving you an extra few CMs manoeuvrability to strike the ball then no it doesn't give a major advantage.
But those few CMs could be the difference between going over the defenders head or onto the defenders head.
 
“United Road” being the club song they still play at games

Nobody likes that song, nobody sings it, nobody cares. It’s fecking shit

They need to change it to something more reflective of our fan base, like “Joel Glazer’s gonna die”
 
"Minute [number]"

Eg "let's press, from minute 1".

feck off, just say from the 1st minute.
 
Probably already mentioned but players kicking the ball away, standing in front of it or picking it up when a free kick has been awarded the other team. It happens 10 times every single game, it's obvious for everybody to see, it's unsportsmanlike, it disrupts the play and yet, the ref never does anything about it.
 
Commentators calling it 'uncharacteristic' when players like Bruno or Cassemiro give the ball away when they do it week-in week-out.
 
People who only occasionally follows a Premier League club and act like they know much about football and leagues across the continent shit talking well-earnt succesfull clubs in like Serie A or La Liga without any second doubt.
 
When Sky Sports are interviewing a player after the match and the player says something that's ever so slightly tongue in cheek, and the presenter and pundits are practically rolling around on the floor pissing themselves.

Wasn't that funny though was it? It reminds me of when we have upper management visiting at work and people would laugh hysterically at literally any tiny joke they made. It's cringeworthy.
 
The endless stats.

Turning football into a spreadsheet on steroids.
 
People who only occasionally follows a Premier League club and act like they know much about football and leagues across the continent shit talking well-earnt succesfull clubs in like Serie A or La Liga without any second doubt.
This is terrible
 
The endless stats.

Turning football into a spreadsheet on steroids.
While I am a bit of a stat nerd there is something about the fluidity of football that means a lot of impactful stuff can happen on a pitch that does not show up on a lot of statlines. Although a different stat might show it :lol:
 
Not really football specific, but when people retroactively pretend that they always knew something was coming so they can downplay an achievement.

I've seen plenty of people say that it was, in fact, entirely predictable that we'd make the top four this season and it's thus nothing to credit Ten Hag for. This in spite of the fact that essentially fecking nobody had us pegged for a top four spot at the start of the season, or even after we'd signed Casemiro.
 
Whilst I'm here, I've just seen another one.

"If [insert team] wasn't so shit this season, we'd never have managed to get [insert impressive league position here]."

This one is used predominantly about any big team that doesn't entirely comfortably make the top four. It's also used basically every single fecking season, rendering it an entirely meaningless statement.

With at least six or seven teams in the Premier League who can now claim to have at least a reasonable shot at making the top four at the start of every season, there's always going to be a bit of luck involved on the part of one or two of them, and a bit of bad luck on the part of a couple of others. And inevitably, there will be at least two of them who won't get in, who "would've done so if only they weren't so shit".
 
Players lying on the ground pretending they have a head injury when there's f**k all wrong with them, because their team is under pressure and they know the ref has to stop play.

Easy solution? Any time a ref has to stop play for a "head injury", the injured player needs to go off the field for a 10 minute head injury assessment (HIA), to be replaced by a temporary sub, including goalkeepers.

Also, teams still putting the ball out of play when an opposing player is injured (again, 90% of the time, there's f-all wrong with them). Just have it like in rugby, if a player is "injured", have the physio team come on and treat him, but the match continues. Guarantee you the amount of on field injuries miraculously decreases.
 
"He's used his experience there" when a player blatantly dives while under pressure in their own half. It's cheating not "experience".
 
I feel as if mine could mainly be lumped under "dumbass hypotheticals", but people who talk about what state a certain team would be in without one of their key players.

"United would be nowhere without Casemiro."

Well feck me, Pep Guardiola, you're really pushing the frontier of tactical analysis forward with that cutting insight! Who would ever have thought that taking out one of the best midfielders to play for the club in this century might have a detrimental impact on the side?

The only exception I'll make here is if this statement is made as an argument for further investment. The sentence above, for instance, somewhat helps emphasize the need for another defensive midfielder in the squad. However, some people just use it as a strange "gotcha" when you claim your team is actually quite good, as though the importance of Casemiro to the side wasn't the exact fecking reason we spent such a sizeable amount on him.