Whatever happened to Bobby Madley? | Returning to English football

duffer

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Awful that he got hounded in the way he did.

Being a ref in this age of social media must really be a dogs life.
 

100

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I skipped to the end and thought the rumoured video was true. Turns out it was a different type of video....
 

El Zoido

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Seems really harsh that this happened to him. I had assumed it was his decision to quit.
 

Samid

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@Catt are you the Norwegian blonde bombshell he's talking about? Didn't know you were into bald English football refs.
 

esmufc07

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Incredibly harsh to be dismissed from his job. Yet John Terry can call a fellow professional a black bastard and carry on with his career.

Silly mistake to make, but he will have to live with that. Hopefully he gets his mental health back on track because he doesn’t deserve to have his life ruined over what was ultimately a bit of a crass joke.
 
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Carolina Red

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Really bad that. So who do we think threw him under the bus? Got to be another referee surely.
He said they had a dispute about family issues when the person decided to send that in on him... so his ex?

I had split with my ex partner around 20 months prior to this story being published.

I sent it as a private text to somebody who I trusted, somebody who had been a huge part of my life for the previous 10 years and who I was on reasonable terms with. Somebody who understood the context of previous sports day comments and was aware of the fat shaming I had received.

A few weeks later I had an argument with the same person regarding a family issue at which point I was threatened for the first time regarding this video with the comment “what would your boss say if it ended up on his desk”. At the time of this chat I was in Norway. I had driven there in order to collect my partners belongings as she was moving to England with me...
Filling in the blanks on my own, and this might be completely wrong...

Had split with his ex after a long term relationship that had produced children. He was chatting with her about the parents race because she is the mom and he still felt they were on decent terms. Some time later they had a argument over custody stuff or the like linked to him bringing his new gf to England with him... then the video gets turned in.
 
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TheReligion

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He said they had a dispute about family issues when the person decided to send that in on him... so his ex?


Filling in the blanks on my own, and this might be completely wrong...

Had split with his ex after a long term relationship that had produced children. He was chatting with her about the parents race because she is the mom and he still felt they were on decent terms. Some time later they had a argument over custody stuff or the like linked to him bringing his new gf to England with him... then the video gets turned in.
Yeah you're right. That makes sense. The things people will do when they are hurting eh? Revenge!
 

Eyepopper

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Really bad that. So who do we think threw him under the bus? Got to be another referee surely.
I assumed reading that it must've been his ex.

Vindictive cnut whoever it was.

Mental decision to sack him, absolutely, erm, barking.
 

stu_1992

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He said they had a dispute about family issues when the person decided to send that in on him... so his ex?


Filling in the blanks on my own, and this might be completely wrong...

Had split with his ex after a long term relationship that had produced children. He was chatting with her about the parents race because she is the mom and he still felt they were on decent terms. Some time later they had a argument over custody stuff or the like linked to him bringing his new gf to England with him... then the video gets turned in.
Yeah thought this myself after reading it. In the context of it being a sports day, and him previously mentioning being on good terms with his ex partner, had to have been them.

Very harsh punishment. Shame for the guy.
 

TheReligion

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Hell hath no fury...
I assumed reading that it must've been his ex.

Vindictive cnut whoever it was.

Mental decision to sack him, absolutely, erm, barking.
Yeah certainly his ex when you read it closely. You guys are right. Makes you think a bit doesn't it what someone you really trust can do to your life in certain situations. They say revenge is a dish served cold but yeah one way to make you paranoid about letting people in.
 

harms

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Doesn't Snapchat delete messages? So, she'd have to save the video beforehand to use it later, when their relationship supposedly take a hit.

I sometimes struggle myself to think where the borderline lies for dark humour. But it looks like he joked about himself using a disabled person as a set up rather than said something directly offensive towards him, so I'd let it slide. It's certainly not something that should cost you your job.
 

Carolina Red

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Doesn't Snapchat delete messages? So, she'd have to save the video beforehand to use it later, when their relationship supposedly take a hit.
He took the video via Snapchat, but sent it via text.
Had I have sent this to anyone on Snapchat then I would accept the decision that later came as a result. I didn’t do that though. I saved it to my phone. I sent it as a private text
 

JPRouve

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Doesn't Snapchat delete messages? So, she'd have to save the video beforehand to use it later, when their relationship supposedly take a hit.

I sometimes struggle myself to think where the borderline lies for dark humour. But it looks like he joked about himself using a disabled person as a set up rather than said something directly offensive towards him, so I'd let it slide. It's certainly not something that should cost you your job.
Personally I believe that people should be able to sometimes show poor taste or make mistakes, we don't have to always go to the extremes in our reactions. He makes the joke, you slap him and we move on.
 

harms

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Personally I believe that people should be able to sometimes show poor taste or make mistakes, we don't have to always go to the extremes in our reactions. He makes the joke, you slap him and we move on.
Absolutely. I’ve made enough of those in my life, that’s for sure.
 

P-Ro

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Incredibly harsh to be dismissed from his job. Yet John Terry can call a fellow professional a nigger and carry on with his career.

Silly mistake to make, but he will have to live with that. Hopefully he gets his mental health back on track because he doesn’t deserve to have his life ruined over what was ultimately a bit of a crass joke.
Errrrrrr what!? Think you've misspelt Luis Suarez.
 

Chipper

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Yes, Terry said black something-or-other. Bastard I think, not sure.

Not exactly great mind you, is it? It's not like it was a good thing to be saying.

Edit: T'was cnut.
 

P-Ro

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Yes, Terry said black something-or-other. Bastard I think, not sure.

Not exactly great mind you, is it? It'sw not like it was a good thing to be saying.
I'm not defending what he did. If you're going to quote someone saying something atrocious you should at least get the quote right.
 

Chipper

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I'm not defending what he did. If you're going to quote someone saying something atrocious you should at least get the quote right.
I wasn't thinking you were defending him, that was just my own reflection/thoughts, thinking to myself that it wasn't exactly a good to be saying rather than asking you if you thought it was. Purely rhetorical that I asked it as a question.
 

Wibble

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I'm not sure how a private joke, even one in such poor taste, is a sacking offence. I suspect they sacked him in case the incident went public.

I'm no expert but I wonder if this offence justified sacking him for gross misconduct due to the private nature of the communication? It seems like drawing a very long bow to me. I wonder if he sought legal advice and/or if there were specific conditions in his contract that were used to justify his dismissal?
 

Mb194dc

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I'm not sure how a private joke, even one in such poor taste, is a sacking offence. I suspect they sacked him in case the incident went public.

I'm no expert but I wonder if this offence justified sacking him for gross misconduct due to the private nature of the communication? It seems like drawing a very long bow to me. I wonder if he sought legal advice and/or if there were specific conditions in his contract that were used to justify his dismissal?
This is exactly what I was thinking.

If it's your career and you've been doing it 16 years and as high profile and important to you as that, surely you'd lawyer up and fight it all the way. Why agree a gagging order and let the league prevent you from refereeing in the MLS or any other big league?

Maybe he's been naive enough to sign something at the first meeting, who knows.

It's a very strange story. If he'd simply said nothing and gone the legal route might have got a much better outcome for himself.
 

Damien

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Returning to English football: https://therefereesword.blogspot.com/2020/02/a-new-chapter.html?m=1

[...]

Following recent discussions it was made clear that the door was potentially open to a return to referee in English professional football. This came at a time when, for private family reasons, the discussion to move back to England on a permanent basis together was very much on the table with my partner and myself. Those details I won’t go into but it has been a main source of my personal struggles since my move to Norway.

[...]

And so to pasteurs new...or old I suppose. I’ve been away from the Premier League for what will be two years come the new season so a return to that level was never a possibility. With the introduction of VAR and the many hours of training missed it would not have been reasonable to expect that.

I was offered, and accepted, the opportunity to start next season as a National List Referee. This group of referees officiate on League 1 and League 2. Like any referee I have the desire to perform at my best and to achieve the best I can. I know how hard that road is to referee at the top but I have the desire and passion to work hard to achieve my potential whatever that may be. I still have dreams that I thought were dead but for me they are now very much alive.

For the remainder of this season I will be officiating games lower down the pyramid which will help me to reintegrate into the English game. I have agreed to attend an FA discrimination workshop and I understand that whilst I have lived with disability throughout my life, further knowledge, education and understanding in what is an incredibly important aspect of society can only serve as a positive thing.

[...]

I now simply go back to being that “(you fill in the blank) in the black” on a weekly basis. Hopefully if nothing else people have been able to see that referees are just normal people with normal emotions, families and feelings. Abuse can lead to mental health issues and referees are not immune to that, especially outside the professional game. Please consider that before you post anything to social media in future or when you stand at the side of a junior game and scream at the 15 year old referee who has just started out and will make mistakes. If my story can help just one person to not send or post something stupid that could potentially end their career then please learn from my mistake. Before posting anything just ask yourself the question “what if this ended up on my bosses desk?” If the outcome wouldn’t be great then don’t send it. Don’t risk everything for a poor joke.
 

P-Ro

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It will certainly be an interesting one to follow. I can't remember any other referee having extensive coverage in the press over an incident in their private life. There will be fans singing piss take songs about Bobby Madley as opposed to just generic referee shite.
 

Relevated

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This is the only saga where everyone seems to know what he did but isn't saying it in public

What was the actual video?