Film James Bond is the Worst Spy In the Entire World...

Mockney

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There's a weird press conference/presentation nonsense going on atm for some reason


It's officially called SPECTRE. Waltz is confirmed. As is Andrew Scott from Sherlock, Dave Bautista, Seydoux and Monica Bellucci.

The way Mendez introduced Waltz pretty much seals that he's the villian. If that were really in doubt.
 

Solius

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Skyfall is on the telly. Daniel Craig runs like a thunderbird.
 

NinjaZombie

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No it isn't. The one with Madonna and the Invisible car is.
And that song. Urgh. No wonder they started all over again with Craig.

Casino Royale. That opening sequence. The song. Eva Green. :drool:
 

Big Andy

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I’m Roger Moore. Bang! Blood dribbles down. We’re on a submarine. Two sailors sit down and have a game of chess. And the cups start wobbling. And then a man that used to be in “The Onedin Line” come in and goes, “Why are all the cups wobbling, what’s going on?” And Then he pulls down the periscope and he looks through it and goes “Oh, my god. The submarine’s being eaten by a giant tanker”. And then we cut to Moscow. And there’s man there, he’s Russian – he’s got eyebrows, you know. He’s on the phone going “What? A whole submarine? You’re joking?. I’m gonna have to tell some other Russians, see ya!”. And then it cuts to James – Roger Moore – and yes, he’s with a lady. He’s necking with her. And he goes “I’ve got to go, love. Something’s come up!”…

Anyway, then he puts on his underpants and his ski suit, and he gets on his ski’s and starts skiing. And he’s being chased by these Russian shits in black jumpsuits with lemon piping. And he’s skiing along, and they start shooting at him and he goes “I’ve had enough of that, just stop it!”. And he turns round with his gun, then he does a backward somersault off this ramp and he lands on his feet. I’m not sure why. But, he’s not showing off. And then he goes over a cliff and he’s falling, and you think, “God, James Bond’s going to die! He’s going to die!”. But then, at the last minute…he pulls a rip-cord, right. And a parachute comes out, and it’s got a Union Jack…

Glang glanga-langa langa langa langa lang. Glang-alang glang-alang alang. Nobody does it, better… And I’m a naked woman in silhouette with a gun, spinning round. Makes me feel sad for the rest. Nobody does it… Oh, bit of nipple. Quite as good as you, baby you’re the best. And now a really big bounce, right over, and I land on my feet. I wasn’t looking and somehow you found me… Ooh, bit of bush! I tried to hide from your love life… And a woman swinging on a Luger. A giant Luger. Ooh! Look at that. Like heaven above me… And now another naked woman, walking along the top of a gun, completely billy bollocks. The spy who loved me is keeping all my secrets safe tonight… And then one more big swing from a woman, legs go right up.. Oh, what was that? Too late! Nobody does it half as good as you. Baby, you’re the best.
 

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Very Partridgian Big Andy.

I didn't like the one where the villain was dressed as a woman and pretending to be a Nanny to spy on his family. Bond was undercover as the boyfriend and took the family on holiday.
 

pauldyson1uk

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The Connery comeback is on Never Say Never Again, complete with dodgy wig and maybe the worse Bond villain of all time Fatima Blush.
Come very close with Moonraker for the worst Bond Film, but still watching it.
 

rcoobc

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This is the worst James Bond moment


2:37 to 3:12.

The rest of the scene is gimmicky but fine.

Why??
 

JB7

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Nope, not even that is as bad as Die Another Day IMO.
 

rcoobc

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Nope, not even that is as bad as Die Another Day IMO.
The badies put a thick cable across the path of James Bond's car ( in which he is lying down in the back seat, controlling via remote control) in the hope of destroying it.... okay

James Bond then pushes a button and a tiny circular saw pops out at exactly the right height, facing exactly the right direction, and is exactly the right type to cut the cable.

What if the cable had been 2 inches higher or lower? What if it had been at leg height? Who on earth would build that into the car? What was it for?

The only thing I can think of is that this is clear evidence of time travel in James Bond
 

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That Arctic windsurfing scene in one of the Brosnan films with the horrific cgi has to be the worst, surely?

Or the one where he was undercover trying to capture Mrs Doubtfire?
 

CassiusClaymore

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That Arctic windsurfing scene in one of the Brosnan films with the horrific cgi has to be the worst, surely?

Or the one where he was undercover trying to capture Mrs Doubtfire?
Yeah, that's Die Another Day. Which also contains the invisible car and a henchman called Mr Kill. They weren't even trying were they...
 

Garethw

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Surely Sean Connery being disguised as a very tall and hairy Japanese man has to be one of the lows?
It's up there with Moore in Octopussy (I think) throwing an Indian man a tip and saying "that'll keep you in Curry for a few werks".
 

Rado_N

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Surely Sean Connery being disguised as a very tall and hairy Japanese man has to be one of the lows?
Or him basically trying to rape Pussy Galore in Goldfinger, with the comedy sound effects as he wrestles her to the floor to have his way with her.