And in that year, David grows some balls and get's rid of his Mrs, or she really can't stand another year in England, so she does one. Obviously he is heartbroken so David then puts his focus back in to football and again produces many man of the match performances that we saw last year. His team mates and close relationships with Mata and Herrera help him through and his manager supports him throughout it all. Slowly David sorts his head out and then falls back in love with the club.
It's new years eve, Dave is out with the entire squad celebrating United being top of the Premiership for the New Year, when suddenly this absolutely beautiful Mancunian girl catches his eye and he instantly falls head over heels. The next morning he looks over at her in bed next to him and he cries. He can't believe how stupid he had been and how close he was to making a huge mistake. He picks up the phone and demands Mendes goes and sucks a squirrel's balls and tells him to phone Madrid and tell that snakey feck Perez to do the same. He then phones big Ed and LvG on a conference call and declares his undying love for the best football club in the whole wide world and demands to sign a new 10 year contract. He celebrates with a cold can of Carlsberg Export and a foamy tit wank with his new lady. He then tweets
@Vato and calls him a cnut.
Probably.