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2023-24 Performances


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5.3 Season Average Rating
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sincher

"I will cry if Rooney leaves"
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YSC
I think he is good, but he's not having the best of seasons.
 

DWelbz19

Correctly predicted Portugal to win Euro 2016
Joined
Oct 31, 2012
Messages
34,061
Amrabat (back to club)
Martial
Donny
Evans
Sanch
Eriksen
Maguire
Mctom
Lindelof
Rashford
Varane
Hannibal
Shaw (due to injuries)

Thats 13 that should go before Bruno does.
It doesn't really work like that, though. If we get an appropriate offer, we should take it. We don't just hold Fernandes and wait and hope that someone will take all the players you mention first.
 

Pogue Mahone

The caf's Camus.
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"like a man in silk pyjamas shooting pigeons
I think we can all agree that making him captain has had the opposite effect to what ETH would have hoped. It hasn’t galvanised the team and it’s made Bruno a lesser player.

What’s really nuts though is that despite the ‘Bruno as captain’ experiment being such an obvious failure there’s no other better candidate. They’re all either constantly injured or not sure of their place in our best XI. Which says it all about the shite state of our squad.
 

neon_badger

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Sep 5, 2023
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376
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Timperley
Amrabat (back to club)
Martial
Donny
Evans
Sanch
Eriksen
Maguire
Mctom
Lindelof
Rashford
Varane
Hannibal
Shaw (due to injuries)

Thats 13 that should go before Bruno does.
A lot of those are dead men walking, but I guess it's a question of how you go about rebuilding this team, how do you prioritise who to sell? Is it simply worst players = first to go? Oldest? Most injury proan? As per most seasons we need a clear out, but we don't have the finances, maybe it's time for a more radical approach and build from the top down, but it's also about who will buy these players? I'd be open to offers for everyone except Hojlund/Mainoo/Garnacho.
 

Lentwood

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He's another who seems to be struggling in EtHs crazy system.

I find it hard to criticise Bruno too much. He obviously cares, he works hard, even on his worst day, he's still a threat....but he is driving me bloody crazy lately!

Too many of our moves breakdown around him and he never seems to be in a position where he can actually impact the game.
 

Hughes35

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Sep 16, 2014
Messages
2,606
His work rate and willingness to play are only matched by how bad his decision making is.

The amount of aimless punts straight in to the box from central areas he makes is awful. Never seen a player make so many stupid passes.
 

Rossa

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It's getting boring and pointless piling on this guy but my last point on that performance yesterday is that moment when he had his throat grabbed.

Definitely should have been a red but the way he just took it like a meek bitch was pathetic. A common trait in him is he gets bullied by opposition players often and tries to nice guy them back because he knows he's a physical wimp. It was pathetic from a united captain. Can you imagine a forest player doing that to VVD? Kompany? Keane?
What the actual feck? Do you want him to hit him in the face and break his nose? Remember the CL final against Chelsea? Remember when Vidic felt the softest touch on his cheek from Drogba? Remember how he fell to the floor like a three year old would? Did you complain then? fecks sake
 

VP89

Pogba's biggest fan
Joined
Dec 6, 2015
Messages
31,722
It's getting boring and pointless piling on this guy but my last point on that performance yesterday is that moment when he had his throat grabbed.

Definitely should have been a red but the way he just took it like a meek bitch was pathetic.
Hahaha this is the absolute worst take I've seen in a long time :lol:
 

Tom Van Persie

No relation
Joined
Dec 12, 2012
Messages
24,593
There are actual United fans that don't like this guy. Mind boggling.


 

Scandi Red

Hates Music.
Joined
Sep 25, 2022
Messages
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There are actual United fans that don't like this guy. Mind boggling.


It's an accumulation of all the worst things in football really. You got modern (read: impatient) fans + spoiled fans (grew up with nothing but success) + old school hard men (how DARE he raise his skinny arm!).

Bruno never stood a chance :lol:
 
Last edited:

Desert Eagle

Punjabi Dude
Joined
Sep 25, 2006
Messages
17,282
What the actual feck? Do you want him to hit him in the face and break his nose? Remember the CL final against Chelsea? Remember when Vidic felt the softest touch on his cheek from Drogba? Remember how he fell to the floor like a three year old would? Did you complain then? fecks sake
Of course not because that helped the team by getting Drogba sent off. If Bruno actually did his patented weak bitch move and started rolling around trying to get the Forest player sent off at least you could say he's thinking of the team or his theatrics are all an attempt to con the ref and win but the guy got shook because like always he is actually a wimp. And just to be clear you don't have to respond physically just make it clear that an opponent grabbing you in that way is never acceptable and Bruno would have been fully justified swinging at the guy or grabbing his neck back. But like i said this is the same guy that gets punked all the time. It'll probably happen against City and Liverpool too.

For all those people so happy because he plays most of the games or runs a lot here again are his stats in his last 98 games according to Jeppers:


Games 98 / goals 21 / assists 19 / mins 8668

Goal every 413 mins
Assist every 456 mins
G/A 216 mins


He's an average player given an extreme level of freedom in a poor team. A teenager has literally come into the midfield this season and looked better than him in every way.
 

Rossa

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Of course not because that helped the team by getting Drogba sent off. If Bruno actually did his patented weak bitch move and started rolling around trying to get the Forest player sent off at least you could say he's thinking of the team or his theatrics are all an attempt to con the ref and win but the guy got shook because like always he is actually a wimp. And just to be clear you don't have to respond physically just make it clear that an opponent grabbing you in that way is never acceptable and Bruno would have been fully justified swinging at the guy or grabbing his neck back. But like i said this is the same guy that gets punked all the time. It'll probably happen against City and Liverpool too.

For all those people so happy because he plays most of the games or runs a lot here again are his stats in his last 98 games according to Jeppers:


Games 98 / goals 21 / assists 19 / mins 8668

Goal every 413 mins
Assist every 456 mins
G/A 216 mins


He's an average player given an extreme level of freedom in a poor team. A teenager has literally come into the midfield this season and looked better than him in every way.
Honestly, I never go to personal insults, but the only thing pathetic here is your take on this and your supporting og a player at United.

He did respond physically by hitting his arm so the guy released him. He further responded to the ref by showing what the other player did and telling him. You think he's petulant, but you wanted him to be more petulant than his actual behaviour in this particular scene? Come off it - that's just clutching at straws.

I think he acted precisely the way he should - if anything, he could have knocked him flat for all I care - grabbing a throat like the other guy did was violent behaviour. How that was not deemed a red by officials I will never know - he even squeezed his windpipe. Ridiculous.
 

yorkshire red

New Member
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Feb 20, 2024
Messages
12
I had the same impression when I first started viewing his performance thread a couple of years ago and was surprised to see it wasn't just after the odd game but was consistent week after week. The over the top criticism he gets on here definitely seems unique to the caf and is in stark contrast to the reception he gets from matchgoing Reds.

Welcome to the caf, by the way! Coincidentally, I'm also someone who grew up in York so I was over the moon when he scored that hat trick vs Leeds. We had it tough showing our faces in public after that FA Cup loss in 2010 - I got it in the neck from a bunch of Leeds fans I knew back then, so it's been a relief watching us pagger them every time we've played them since!
Haha yeah that was probably the most I’ve ever dreaded going in on Monday, still have nightmares everytime I hear beckfords name mentioned!!!!!
 

wolvored

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Jul 6, 2016
Messages
9,957
I agree with a few posters on here that the captaincy and his gradual form and influence on a game go hand in hand. I also think that we will have a new manager in the summer and maybe we buy in a player, (dont think anyone who will be left after the cull will be ready to be captain material) who is or has been a captain, could take over the armband.
 

tomaldinho1

Full Member
Joined
Nov 26, 2015
Messages
17,869
I think we can all agree that making him captain has had the opposite effect to what ETH would have hoped. It hasn’t galvanised the team and it’s made Bruno a lesser player.

What’s really nuts though is that despite the ‘Bruno as captain’ experiment being such an obvious failure there’s no other better candidate. They’re all either constantly injured or not sure of their place in our best XI. Which says it all about the shite state of our squad.
Licha when he's back would be hands down the best option in my mind. Got to start accepting we need 2-3 seasons of an actual plan so someone his age (26) is a senior player to build around. We have a lot of promising teens/guys in their young twenties but we need good recruitment to make something of it, he also speaks good English as well.
 

Pogue Mahone

The caf's Camus.
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"like a man in silk pyjamas shooting pigeons
Licha when he's back would be hands down the best option in my mind. Got to start accepting we need 2-3 seasons of an actual plan so someone his age (26) is a senior player to build around. We have a lot of promising teens/guys in their young twenties but we need good recruitment to make something of it, he also speaks good English as well.
He’d be top of my list. Although my main hope for him right now is to play a run of games. Baby steps!
 

Gabriel Djemba-Bebe

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Aug 30, 2018
Messages
2,434
What the actual feck? Do you want him to hit him in the face and break his nose? Remember the CL final against Chelsea? Remember when Vidic felt the softest touch on his cheek from Drogba? Remember how he fell to the floor like a three year old would? Did you complain then? fecks sake
I agree with the sentiment of this post however you're getting the facts around the Vidic/Drogba incident all wrong. Vidic went for him in retaliation and had to be restrained by his teammates. He didn't fall to the floor 'like a 3 year old'. He comes from Serbia, he'll fecking murder ye!
 

Rossa

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Looking over my shoulder.
I agree with the sentiment of this post however you're getting the facts around the Vidic/Drogba incident all wrong. Vidic went for him in retaliation and had to be restrained by his teammates. He didn't fall to the floor 'like a 3 year old'. He comes from Serbia, he'll fecking murder ye!
Yeah, completely mis-remembered that one. Thanks for enlightening me :)
 

Desert Eagle

Punjabi Dude
Joined
Sep 25, 2006
Messages
17,282
How do these guys even get to post on the Caf? seriously
Honestly, I never go to personal insults, but the only thing pathetic here is your take on this and your supporting og a player at United.

He did respond physically by hitting his arm so the guy released him. He further responded to the ref by showing what the other player did and telling him. You think he's petulant, but you wanted him to be more petulant than his actual behaviour in this particular scene? Come off it - that's just clutching at straws.

I think he acted precisely the way he should - if anything, he could have knocked him flat for all I care - grabbing a throat like the other guy did was violent behaviour. How that was not deemed a red by officials I will never know - he even squeezed his windpipe. Ridiculous.
I'll support and post how I want to. He acted like a insult insult instead of a how a united captain should act. I'd love a clip of the full incident though, I only saw it once live at 4 am. Maybe i was wrong and he didn't react like a insult insult. I love how all of his defenders have neglected the facts about his shit football though. Once again in his last 98 games:


Games 98 / goals 21 / assists 19 / mins 8668

Goal every 413 mins
Assist every 456 mins
G/A 216 mins


I hope he can somehow prove me wrong against city and liverpool but I doubt it.
 

DomesticTadpole

Doom-monger obsessed with Herrera & the M.E.N.
Joined
Jun 4, 2011
Messages
101,392
Location
Barrow In Furness
I don't know what has happened with him, he has always been careless with the ball, but could also pull a moment of genius out of nothing to either create a goal or score himself. I am sure the captaincy is weighing heavily on him. He might have been honoured to get it, but think it is taking a lot from his game. He has always been a bit of a moaner, but being captain he thinks moaning is the way to show leadership. It really isn't.
 

Stig

Full Member
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Feb 26, 2019
Messages
1,624
It's getting boring and pointless piling on this guy but my last point on that performance yesterday is that moment when he had his throat grabbed.

Definitely should have been a red but the way he just took it like a meek bitch was pathetic. A common trait in him is he gets bullied by opposition players often and tries to nice guy them back because he knows he's a physical wimp. It was pathetic from a united captain. Can you imagine a forest player doing that to VVD? Kompany? Keane?
Keep cool and not being goaded is much more of a manly thing to do than blindly lashing out.

It's also the best decision for the team as he doesn't get a 3 match ban for violent conduct.

Self control is a positive attribute not a negative one.
 

Stig

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I agree with a few posters on here that the captaincy and his gradual form and influence on a game go hand in hand. I also think that we will have a new manager in the summer and maybe we buy in a player, (dont think anyone who will be left after the cull will be ready to be captain material) who is or has been a captain, could take over the armband.
It's also hard to soar like an eagle when you work with turkeys.

I think he feels he has to do everything because the rest aren't good enough. I think in a team with a better level of ability he would settle back down and play like he used to instead of feeling that he's got to be the one to make something happen.
 

Valencia Shin Crosses

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"Martial...He's isolated Skrtel here..."
It's also hard to soar like an eagle when you work with turkeys.

I think he feels he has to do everything because the rest aren't good enough. I think in a team with a better level of ability he would settle back down and play like he used to instead of feeling that he's got to be the one to make something happen.
That's literally how he's always played. It just worked better in the past when he was better as a player and in a system that freely let him roam wherever he wanted as a 10.
 

Amar__

Geriatric lover and empath
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There are actual United fans that don't like this guy. Mind boggling.


Maybe some people don't rate being in love in football and wanting to play every game as the most important thing in the world for a football player?

It's actually counter productive for many players to play every game, everyone needs a rest now and then, and I bet you that Bruno would moan if he was dropped for few games even if it was for his own good, he said himself he wants to play every game, and that's not just because he likes United, it's because he likes playing football, so it's purely selfish reason.
 

Glorio

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It's getting boring and pointless piling on this guy but my last point on that performance yesterday is that moment when he had his throat grabbed.

Definitely should have been a red but the way he just took it like a meek bitch was pathetic. A common trait in him is he gets bullied by opposition players often and tries to nice guy them back because he knows he's a physical wimp. It was pathetic from a united captain. Can you imagine a forest player doing that to VVD? Kompany? Keane?
Gutter-level post in all frankness. What do you expect here? He smacked the guy's hand away - was he expected to do more than that? :houllier:
 

FerociousCorgis

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i mean i dont think anyone hates bruno for his work rate/being available for games. He has managed to avoid the injury bug that so many others have def fallen ill with it seems like at this club. People just hate his petulance he brings, his mental decisions on the field, and the fact that he doesn't allow for a club to play in a way that leads to controlling the game. American fans have sometimes compared him to a russell westbrook in the nba. Dude can put up amazing stats, but those only mask the underlying issues.
 

didz

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His comments on the video are what people will run with despite him not having seen it. But the important bit is him finally calling for some protection for his players. As we saw yesterday, you can pretty much do what you like to Bruno and it will get dismissed entirely.
 

Gandalf

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Bruno’s game can be summed up by that moment where he tried a pass over the top (may have been a free kick) and it was headed away back over Bruno’s head. Any other player would have recycled possession to keep pressure on as our players were up in the oppo’s box. What does Bruno do? He attempts some idiotic pass with his back to their goal by kicking it over his head. Just bounces harmlessly to their keeper.

What the feck did he think would happen? It’s such low football IQ decision making. Abysmal stuff. I would have subbed him off there and then.
Then we would not have won the game.
 

Stig

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Small club mentality. Imagine winning away from home (at a ground you haven't won at in 20 years) with a dramatic stoppage time goal, and deciding the best way to celebrate after the game is to create socials ridiculing an opposition player.
Agreed. Totally stupid and inappropriate from Fulham.
 

NewGlory

United make me feel dirty. And not in a sexy way.
Joined
Jul 13, 2019
Messages
4,360
There's a very insightful TED talk by Jess Garza, a sports and business performance psychologist, that explains why what Bruno is doing when we are in trouble is destroying team spirit. She is not talking about United or Bruno, of course but when you listen her describing the problem you would think she is talking about Bruno

Spoiler alert: it is VERY bad, and it is not just Garry Neville's opinion, it's fairly scientific fact that his behavior is very bad for the team and significantly so

https://www.ted.com/talks/jessica_g...rickly_emotions_from_other_people?language=en

Does United have a sports psychologist of their own? Why are they not raising a huge red flag and pointing it out to Erik etc?
 

FerociousCorgis

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just goes back to the russell westbrook comparison in the NBA. Dude was averaging triple double-FOR THE SEASON. That was absolutely unheard of. Literally only 2 people have done it in the NBA. One guy from the 60s did it once. And then Westbrook, who has done it not once, but 4 times. Statistically speaking you could make the case he is a first ballot HOF player.

Then you look at the fact that he turns the ball over repeatedly. Doesnt lead his team to anything meaningful and has been bounced around. My overall point is sometimes statistics can be misleading. Not saying that is the case for Bruno with everything, but in my opinion he is someone who will look incredible if you just find his best stats, while not helping a team win a EPL title ever.
 

Gabriel Djemba-Bebe

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Maybe some people don't rate being in love in football and wanting to play every game as the most important thing in the world for a football player?

It's actually counter productive for many players to play every game, everyone needs a rest now and then, and I bet you that Bruno would moan if he was dropped for few games even if it was for his own good, he said himself he wants to play every game, and that's not just because he likes United, it's because he likes playing football, so it's purely selfish reason.
I hate to break it to you but De Bruyne didn't grow up with posters of Paul Dickov on his wall. Nor did Salah grow up idioloising Steve Mcmanaman. It's safe to assume that 99.9% of PL footballers primary motivation isn't to do their club proud, rather it is to play football. That doesn't make them selfish. As fans, we expect our players to give their all for the team they play for. Bruno does that. To knock him for that, and to call him selfish for playing through the pain barrier in order to help his team, is just plain weird.