Guess Woodward's next press leak/briefing

Suedesi

Full Member
Joined
Aug 3, 2001
Messages
17,455
Location
New York City
So, as typical after poor results, Woodie will brief the press about some vague upcoming change that will have a significant upturn for our team's fate in the not-to-distant future. My guess would be one of them:

- United in discussion to hire Director of Football
- United appoint new assistant physio from the South African Premier League Champions
- United sign 3 year old Argentinian prodigy, rumored to be the next Messi
- United sign new sponsorship deal with Insta Pot, the leading brand of slow cookers world wide

Feel free to add yours, winner gets a cup of instant noodles
 

The Bloody-Nine

Full Member
Joined
May 21, 2017
Messages
5,687
I wish someone would brief the press that one Mr Ed Woodward is floating in the bowl and the handle is jingling, due to his history of incompetence in all matters pertaining to football.
 

space

Full Member
Joined
Jan 2, 2013
Messages
1,735
Something about January and war-chest or some bullshit, only for no players to be available or worth signing in January or something
 

C3Pique

Full Member
Joined
Aug 8, 2013
Messages
2,528
Location
Parts Unknown
Woodward sanctions 200m bids for Sancho and Haaland

When he knows they will/have already turn our offers down
 

Catt

Ole's at the wheel!
Joined
Mar 10, 2013
Messages
18,774
Location
Norway
When was the last "briefing" and what was said?
 

mu4c_20le

Full Member
Joined
Jul 7, 2013
Messages
12,792
I could really use a sponsorship announcement to lift my spirits right now.
 

fergiesarmy1

Full Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2013
Messages
2,725
He’s a bigger problem than who the manager is, then there’s the players and finally the owners. I’d go 10% Ole, 25% Ed, 25% players and 50% owners.
 

Chairman Steve

Full Member
Joined
May 9, 2018
Messages
1,283
”Senior Utd officials are understood to be concerned with Solskjaers form, but are happy to continue with him carrying on for the Tottenham and Man City matches. A Utd insider who was adamantly for Solskjær staying informed us that they have been fending off angry fan suggestions by replying ‘Ooooooooohhhh Sorry Massive United fan’, and then plugged Salford City season tickets”
 

Nou_Camp99

Full Member
Joined
Apr 1, 2013
Messages
1,506
I think he will be reluctant to sack Ole in fear off the reaction he may get. Suspect we will stick with Ole now till the summer regardless.
 

Random Task

Correctly predicted France to win World Cup 2018
Joined
Feb 7, 2010
Messages
17,339
Location
Chester
He’s a bigger problem than who the manager is, then there’s the players and finally the owners. I’d go 10% Ole, 25% Ed, 25% players and 50% owners.
Mathematics isn't your strong point I take it?
 

bondsname

New Member
Newbie
Joined
Aug 28, 2018
Messages
321
I think he will be reluctant to sack Ole in fear off the reaction he may get. Suspect we will stick with Ole now till the summer regardless.
Says a lot of personality of the man who is supposed to lead us back to the very top. Woodward is a fecking coward and any self respecting man would leave in his situation.
 

El Zoido

Full Member
Joined
Jun 7, 2013
Messages
7,175
Location
UK
We’ve partnered with that VR company that does headsets for cows so they can see green fields when they’re actually in confined spaces. Every matchday going fan will be provided with a headset that shows a classic United game from the Fergie era instead of having to watch the dross going on in front of them.
 

gica_7

Full Member
Joined
Nov 18, 2012
Messages
484
Location
Istanbul
We are close to january so it must be something like "United is willing spend 200 million on january".
 

Eric's Seagull

Full Member
Joined
Sep 23, 2018
Messages
3,422
Location
4-4-2: The Flat One
Some sh!te that there will be significant money available to spend in January but come January we will find out that the right players were not available.
 
Last edited:

Nick7

Full Member
Joined
Jan 24, 2011
Messages
11,617
Location
Ireland
“The club is standing behind Ole’s vision and will invest in January but warn that the right targets might not be available”
 

Kostur

海尔的老板
Joined
Mar 8, 2012
Messages
28,199
Location
Poland, Kraków
He’s a bigger problem than who the manager is, then there’s the players and finally the owners. I’d go 10% Ole, 25% Ed, 25% players and 50% owners.
Why not Ole 17%, 31% Ed, 37% plauers and 75% owners while you're fecking at it?

Next briefing will be about us preparing a bid for Sancho/Haland/some other dick in January.
 

matt10000

Full Member
Joined
Dec 6, 2018
Messages
415
Location
Salford UK

soapythecat

Full Member
Joined
Jun 29, 2006
Messages
2,500
Location
Glasgow resident these days.
This week we will see:
A new pledge/leak about a DoF appointment.
Some twat supposedly from Saudi will be tweeting again about a buy out.
Sancho and Haaland stories will be through the roof.
And United fans will fall for the lot. Again.
 

fergiesarmy1

Full Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2013
Messages
2,725
The lad is just giving 110%. Ease up.
At least there are some funny and friendly people on this board - cheers mate.

I’m gonna go on a rant here.

I used to post on this board back on the day over 15 years ago and it was a funny and friendly place to be. Since I have been here I have found it unfriendly, lacking humour, moderation very sad (got banned for a drunken post about Ed the red but I can live with that)

Been accused of being racist and xenophobic because I don’t like Pogba even though I have pictures of Cantona, Yorke and Cole all round my house and am not English which is where the accusers seem to be going at.
 

kouroux

45k posts to finally achieve this tagline
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
77,050
Location
Djibouti (La terre des braves)
At least there are some funny and friendly people on this board - cheers mate.

I’m gonna go on a rant here.

I used to post on this board back on the day over 15 years ago and it was a funny and friendly place to be. Since I have been here I have found it unfriendly, lacking humour, moderation very sad (got banned for a drunken post about Ed the red but I can live with that)

Been accused of being racist and xenophobic because I don’t like Pogba even though I have pictures of Cantona, Yorke and Cole all round my house and am not English which is where the accusers seem to be going at.
Who did ?
 

kouroux

45k posts to finally achieve this tagline
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
77,050
Location
Djibouti (La terre des braves)
Hal alal or whatever he was called.
Personally I cannot say I have seen someone being racist like that on the caf, on Twitter and IG, without a doubt yeah. Like I always say, criticism is fine, as long as it's fair. You are allowed to even dislike a player irrationnally without it being based on race.