It's sad reading that letter. I hope he gets the support he needs and manages to find peace within himself. The fact he thinks he has to retire from the game he loves before he can come out is a shocking indictment on the game.
Premier League footballer says ‘I’m gay but I’m afraid to come out’ in anguished open letter
- Thread starter esmufc07
- Start date
Yeah that's really sad to think the only way is to retire from the game. The issue is that if everyone does that it will never be solved, we will have to have gay people come out during there career to tackle any problems that may occur - Not to say they should.
Yeh agreed that’s a sad read and a real shame to be honest. I would hope that once someone comes out it would inspire others to do the same as let’s be honest there must be quite afew gay footballers. It is crazy when you think about how open many elements of society have become that we don’t seem to be able to cross this hurdle.
Hopefully one player will openly come out so others might follow suit, instead of having to hide away or be themselves.
It’s unbelievable that players feel they cannot live their lives to the fullest because either their teammates or the fans would make it impossible. I think the main issue lies with the fans as I’d like to believe a dressing room with a good, open environment would be able to embrace such things very easily. I don’t think it’s an issue that will go away unfortunately unless a larger percentage of gay players took a stand all at once. There’s as much chance that if one player came out, they would be left high and dry than act as a catalyst for others.
Chances are we have gay players in our squad and I’d like them to know that we would be proud of their courage if they were to come out and support them 100%
Chances are we have gay players in our squad and I’d like them to know that we would be proud of their courage if they were to come out and support them 100%
And this nations scumbag press as well.
You can be sure the first openly gay Premiership footballer will have his dating life splashed out for everyone to find out about.
Plays in front of tens of thousands of people every week, that means we can rule out any City player.
there are clearly lots of players in the same position, it’s impossible that’s not the case. If I was gay and a footballer, there’s no way I’d tell anyone publicly until after retirement.
there are clearly lots of players in the same position, it’s impossible that’s not the case. If I was gay and a footballer, there’s no way I’d tell anyone publicly until after retirement.
Sad world when a player can't come out. However, I don't think any player should. One perceived dive in an away ground and the abuse will be unbearable.
10 or even 5 years ago I would agree, I think society and the press would be much more on board in 2020. However, it’s the state of the football fans on the terrace that would be the real issue. We still have fans hurling racial abuse at players, the same people would be abusing to any gay player.
I have a feeling agents, coaches etc probably more of a problem. Trying to get a transfer maybe agents wont be able to make deals etc. I think thats what some of them fear so they dont come out.
Maybe its ok in the dressing room you are in but maybe another dressing room (that can speak when you’re not there) wont want you to join etc etc
I might be naive but I think football is ready for it bar some imbeciles. Hard to come out alone, needs to be a group announcing at same time to take pressure off one individual.
Sad, staggering and scary that its 2020 and this is still an issue.
Statistically there's probably at least one gay footballer in every PL squad.
Statistically there's probably at least one gay footballer in every PL squad.
I’m glad that they are getting the support from the foundation and have found the courage to open up to a select few in what must be a really difficult time. That’s a big step.
It isn’t surprising that those who are gay or bisexual feel like this when many players and fans are still giving out homophobic abuse. Something that Deeney said really struck me aswell during the podcast he did with Theroux. Yes, he said he’d be supportive of any player in his squad coming out and that he reckons all of the team would and be “fine with it” but there would be a period in the first few weeks where they’d all be a bit curious and think “is he looking at me in the shower” etc. Things like that just show how far education in these matters needs to go.
I know that we have the rainbow bands and flags which are displayed during pride but are the players actually educated on the matters when that’s happening? Or is it just a display of solidarity without actually knowing why it’s important? If they aren’t given education then that should be a step made.
The problem is definitely that you’re going to be ‘that’ guy and the attention of the press will be unbearable for some in that situation. It’s difficult and I hope that the support he is getting will help him live a happy and comfortable life.
It isn’t surprising that those who are gay or bisexual feel like this when many players and fans are still giving out homophobic abuse. Something that Deeney said really struck me aswell during the podcast he did with Theroux. Yes, he said he’d be supportive of any player in his squad coming out and that he reckons all of the team would and be “fine with it” but there would be a period in the first few weeks where they’d all be a bit curious and think “is he looking at me in the shower” etc. Things like that just show how far education in these matters needs to go.
I know that we have the rainbow bands and flags which are displayed during pride but are the players actually educated on the matters when that’s happening? Or is it just a display of solidarity without actually knowing why it’s important? If they aren’t given education then that should be a step made.
The problem is definitely that you’re going to be ‘that’ guy and the attention of the press will be unbearable for some in that situation. It’s difficult and I hope that the support he is getting will help him live a happy and comfortable life.
You can only imagine the terrace abuse from oppostion fans. I hate some of the stuff that gets chanted now and it's not even about me.
The press would make it such big news that it just becomes a circus. Of course if someone comes out as gay it should be advertised if they want it to be but not in the over the top way it will.
That's a shocking thing to say.
I don't think you are being naive at all. If I was a footballer I'd find this attitude from gay players claiming to be scared to come out as insulting. I'm a carpenter by trade and there were gay men working in the male dominated building trade 20 years ago, without any problems.
Also, I don't think gay players are any different to any other "oppressed" class, in which it's legislated to them what they have to be offended or scared by.
Society as a whole would be accepting, I'm sure the teammates would too. However the vocal minority on the terraces wouldn't, and the press would just do what the press does. Print story after story for clicks and it would be a huge invasion of privacy.
Gareth Thomas is the obvious example, the press hounded him for years. Was beaten up in a hobo-phobic attack a few years ago. Even had a journalist break the news that he has HIV to his parents, which must have been heart-breaking.
And correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think Gareth coming out sparked a flurry of other Rugby stars to do the same. People are still wary that UK society isn't quite there yet, I reckon. Though I am sure he is a huge inspiration to many for the courage he showed.
Gareth Thomas is the obvious example, the press hounded him for years. Was beaten up in a hobo-phobic attack a few years ago. Even had a journalist break the news that he has HIV to his parents, which must have been heart-breaking.
And correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think Gareth coming out sparked a flurry of other Rugby stars to do the same. People are still wary that UK society isn't quite there yet, I reckon. Though I am sure he is a huge inspiration to many for the courage he showed.
You basically need a lot of footballers come out at once to take the pressure off, but that seems unlikely. Surely surely this has to happen soon.
What do you mean by this?
It's the same as racism as well though. It just get's tiring listening to this consistent merry-go-round of 'black lives matter' and 'I can't come out as gay'. Don't get me wrong it's a good thing they do (mostly, excluding violence and vandalism) with these campaigns but I am tired of having grown up in a era where I am consistently listening to it because it shouldn't even be a debate anymore. I find it hard to understand why not everybody shares the same views regarding race and sexuality but then again I have grown up in a different environment (as well as the majority of people) than others clearly have. I hope this makes sense because if it's read in the wrong way I could sound like a right wanker. 2020 FFS!!
Indeed.
20 years ago Le Saux was called gay because he read newspapers.
There’s a clear difference between your trade and being a footballer.
Being gay doesn’t mean you want to look at every cock in the world or you find all men attractive.
Saying “want to know if they’ll look at me in the shower” is offensive.
If only about 1 in 50 men are gay and we know that gay men are massively over represented in certain professions, such as hair dressing, flight attendants and actors etc, then how can "a lot of footballers come out?" Surely we'd expect gay men to be under represented in top level pro football. There is a good chance there genuinely is only 1 or 2 in the Prem, yet I get the impression a lot of people think about 10% of footballers are in the closet.
So it's not a city player
To be sincere, I really think its a shame that players wear badges of support for pride month, black lives matter etc. But within the sport (men's football) people are too afraid to say they're gay/bi etc.
It really needs a strong character to be the first to come out. If Zlatan was gay he'd be a strong enough character to handle all the fallout from that (that's not meant to be a Zlatan brag BTW).
Is it offensive or is it legislated offense? Would a women be being offensive if she was concerned about men looking at her in a shower?
Yeah I think it's better for him to stay anonymous. He should not come out alone and risk his career. Maybe wait till he has a lot more support. And by support i don't mean a nobody on the internet sending him good luck texts and heart emoticons, or promises from organizations, but the players, gay or non gay have to be vocal about this matter, maybe even managers. Without a proper backing, it only takes a few idiots to make life worse for him. Not only in the UK but I think the society, in general, all over the world are not ready. If racism is still a thing in football after years and years of campaign and clear stance against it then I think this one is a losing battle, if he fights alone.
I think a large problem is the notion that you have to 'come out'.
The first step to beating homophobia is completely 'normalising it' and that starts with things like visiting a freind who introduces you to a boyfriend and it's seen as the most standard thing in the world, no 'coming out' announcement previously no "oh my god you're gay" just a standard thing as it would be had he introduced a girlfriend, maybe I'm being naive but if we get to that point I believe most of the rest will follow.
The first step to beating homophobia is completely 'normalising it' and that starts with things like visiting a freind who introduces you to a boyfriend and it's seen as the most standard thing in the world, no 'coming out' announcement previously no "oh my god you're gay" just a standard thing as it would be had he introduced a girlfriend, maybe I'm being naive but if we get to that point I believe most of the rest will follow.
I might get abuse for this but i don't understand why it's shocking? Is it not just being honest about the awkward nature of changing rooms? No one would question that statement if the discussion was unisex
Or do you just mean it's unnecessary and a bit alienating?
That is not the same scenario though is it?
If a group of players share the same space, shower together consistently and then one of them comes out as gay and you’re then concerned about them looking at you just because you’re a man and they’re gay then yeah, it’s offensive.
Keep it quiet & come out after retirement. The torment & abuse he will endure isn’t worth it.
awful I know but that’s the state of football sadly.
awful I know but that’s the state of football sadly.
I like this idea. Class of 2020.
I think it's horrible that while the world has moved on, some cultures never get the firmware update needed to legitimise their feelings towards natural progression of change. I'd imagine the majority of people if you ask them straight up their honest thoughts is cool with it, yet most unwilling to talk about it simply from the lack of work being put into legitimising it by the media.To me this says that the size of the barriers preventing gay footballers at the top level from coming out must be massive. I mean, premiership footballers are so mentally driven, you have to be to get to that level. We tend to have this image of them being ready to tackle something head on, afraid of nothing etc. How big must that fear be inside them that even top level footballers assess the landscape and say ‘nah, feck that.’ That’s a problem.
It’s absolutely awful that they still feel they can’t come out. All the work that’s gone into improving conditions for LGBT people in the UK, and we’re still seeing people who don’t feel they can be themselves. And this is in the UK, one of the most progressive countries on earth, what happens when they go and play in the World Cup in Qatar for instance? There’s still a long way to go. I’d love to see a premiership player come out while playing, but I 100% understand their reasons for not doing so.
It’s absolutely awful that they still feel they can’t come out. All the work that’s gone into improving conditions for LGBT people in the UK, and we’re still seeing people who don’t feel they can be themselves. And this is in the UK, one of the most progressive countries on earth, what happens when they go and play in the World Cup in Qatar for instance? There’s still a long way to go. I’d love to see a premiership player come out while playing, but I 100% understand their reasons for not doing so.
I honestly can't see a solution to this other than if there was some way to organize for many gay players to come out at the same time to deflect attention away from the individuals. A single person having to be the first makes the barrier look so much more daunting.
It's fecking dumb anyway that homosexuality is even a big deal in 2020. Ideally a gay player would just show up at an event with his partner and then people would treat them the same as they would a straight couple, but you just know that won't happen considering the large amount of idiots in the press and the general public. Boggles the mind that people care so much about who another person is shagging.
It's fecking dumb anyway that homosexuality is even a big deal in 2020. Ideally a gay player would just show up at an event with his partner and then people would treat them the same as they would a straight couple, but you just know that won't happen considering the large amount of idiots in the press and the general public. Boggles the mind that people care so much about who another person is shagging.
Why wouldn't the gay player understand the situation? Why does he have to be offended over something so easy understand? It seems like legislated offense.
If I were in a changing room with a bunch of ugly women, but they wondered if I was objectifying them, I wouldn't be offended, I'd understand it. I'm sure gay men would too if they weren't actively encouraged to be offended which is seems like they and many other "oppressed" groups are by this crazy secular religion which is currently dominating western culture.
It is indeed a sad situation when players have to live in fear like this just because of the idiots that would prey on them.
A group approach to coming out would be ideal, but unsure how that would even work.
Otherwise it would probably take someone who is universally loved or respected in the football world to brave it alone, sadly.
A group approach to coming out would be ideal, but unsure how that would even work.
Otherwise it would probably take someone who is universally loved or respected in the football world to brave it alone, sadly.
Fecking hell.
Absolutely correct. As others have said, football likes to think it has come a long way but there is still an awful long way to go in many respects.
Eh nah mate, just look at caroline flack for a start.
Im not actually 100 percent on board for blaming the press SOLELY, they print what their audience wants and the British public love stories like this. They'll be all over and the press wouldnt be doing their job if they dont report.
Heartbreaking 