Roy Keane

Stobzilla

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Me and my mate were enjoying a drink at a bar by the west stand when we heard some commotion out of eye shot. Poked our heads round the corner and low and behold it's Big Meeks pinning that Woolwich tart up against the wall, Keane growling beside. The tart had a loudmouth.

As Meeks pinned the Arsenal fan against the wall, Keano's tone deepened. He looked so f***ing pissed. Like 20 years just rolled back and the red mist had descended. There was a crowd around that fell into a stunned hush as everyone wondered how Roy would react.

With a sly grin, Roy leaned in close to the Arsenal fan and whispered, "You know, lad, that headbutt was almost as weak as Arsenal's defence has been the last 15 years."

The crowd erupted in laughter, and even Big Meeks couldn't help but chuckle as he released the idiot from his grip. The Arsenal fan, his face turning red, stammered, "I...I just got carried away, Roy." Roy rebutted "Carried away? Carried away like the Arsenal defence when they tried to play a high line against an oncoming Shea'sy back in 05" The crowd, even the Arsenal fans among them were in utter hysterics, whilst the perpetrator looked like he needed his mum and was about to cry.

Just as the Arsenal fan was getting thoroughly humiliated, the sound of the door swinging open caught everyone's attention and there were three police officers.

Roy, always one to seize an opportunity, decided to teach him a lesson himself before the cops could take over. "Listen here officers," Roy began, "This guy's made a right fool of himself, but let him off the hook this time" he turned back to the arse fan "but you owe me an alcohol free pint at the reverse fixture. And you better be wearing a Man United jersey when you hand it over." Roy then seemed to offer the guy hospitality tickets for the game at OT in the spring. Me and my mate looked at each other gobsmacked.

The prat nodded in agreement and thanked Roy for his humble mercy. The crowd cheered for Roy, a few people offered him a drink but he had to explain that he's quit alcohol, and has to be down pitch side quickly for Sky.

Made my day.
And then the two aliens playing marbles at the end of Men In Black stood up and applauded.
 

Fortitude

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Spurs supporters have legitimate reason to absolutely hate him! :lol:

For him, they are the literal definition of bottlers and he'll never let up on them, until they win something meaningful.

He's been digging them out for over 22yrs, ffs. :lol:
 

Oranges038

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What’d VVD say?
VVD said only one team came to win and Utd were buzzing with a point.

Keane called him arrogant, said he's playing for a club that's won one title in 30 years and he's no reason to be talking like that.

Then says he played Liverpool and many times they were happy to get a draw.
 

ForFuchsSake

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Absolutely love this man. He’s what Souness wishes he was - though he’s dour, bitter and humourless instead.

Keane never misses and he’s absolutely spot on with that prick, van Dijk.
 

Arnold Layne

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Van Dijk saying Utd were buzzing to get a draw. Keane giving it to Sturridge when he is trying to defend Van Dijk.
 

Jev

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While slightly over the top, what Van Dijk said was largely true. Invoking the past, which has little relevance in terms of today’s game, in order to put down Van Dijk and Liverpool seems a bit small-time.
 

Fts 74

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While slightly over the top, what Van Dijk said was largely true. Invoking the past, which has little relevance in terms of today’s game, in order to put down Van Dijk and Liverpool seems a bit small-time.
Come on.
 

AltiUn

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While slightly over the top, what Van Dijk said was largely true. Invoking the past, which has little relevance in terms of today’s game, in order to put down Van Dijk and Liverpool seems a bit small-time.
Van Dijk was obviously being a cnut though, there's nothing small time about calling a cnut out for being a cnut.
 

ForFuchsSake

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While slightly over the top, what Van Dijk said was largely true. Invoking the past, which has little relevance in terms of today’s game, in order to put down Van Dijk and Liverpool seems a bit small-time.
Whilst also largely arrogant. Keane was completely right to respond as he did.
 

Annihilate Now!

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While slightly over the top, what Van Dijk said was largely true. Invoking the past, which has little relevance in terms of today’s game, in order to put down Van Dijk and Liverpool seems a bit small-time.
Except we had a couple of very decent chances to score? Including probably the best chance of the match?

VVD it's talking out of his arse. Yeah they dominated the game but we had our moments to nick it... And they didn't really create a solid chance.
 

TheReligion

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While slightly over the top, what Van Dijk said was largely true. Invoking the past, which has little relevance in terms of today’s game, in order to put down Van Dijk and Liverpool seems a bit small-time.
Thing is, it wasn’t.

A draw was more than fair. Liverpool didn’t deserve to win the game.
 

amolbhatia50k

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While slightly over the top, what Van Dijk said was largely true. Invoking the past, which has little relevance in terms of today’s game, in order to put down Van Dijk and Liverpool seems a bit small-time.
Invoking feelings and intentions has absolute no relevance to today’s game. We were there for the taking, Liverpool were not good enough to take advantage and we grew into the second half when it could have either way. That’s all that matters not “who was buzzing” and “who truly wanted to win” - which is just loser mentality nonsense the Liverpool side is using to wipe their salty tears.
 

Red Dreams

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Love Roy but we need to stop holding on to the past. Get people who are professional and have expeience in those roles. What does the football “board” even do?!
Keane in many ways represents what the supporters want.
He has no filters of course.
Even I do not agree with everything he says.
The last thing we need is a diplomat.

A Football board would only be involved in matters of football and not Financial matters.
 
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amolbhatia50k

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Except we had a couple of very decent chances to score? Including probably the best chance of the match?

VVD it's talking out of his arse. Yeah they dominated the game but we had our moments to nick it... And they didn't really create a solid chance.
No mate. We didn’t win this match because we didn’t actually want to. This stuff is so stupid you wonder how it comes out of educated people’s mouths.
 

Fridge chutney

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While slightly over the top, what Van Dijk said was largely true. Invoking the past, which has little relevance in terms of today’s game, in order to put down Van Dijk and Liverpool seems a bit small-time.
We lost 7-0 the last time and are in terrible form and ravaged by injuries, but Liverpool couldn't beat us at Anfield today. Van Dijk was being a salty cnut and Roy put him in his place.
 

Offside

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Said that “only one team wanted to win” and “Utd were buzzing with that point”.

Roy said that VVD should remember that Liverpool have one PL title in 33 years, and were buzzing for many a point against Utd in the past.
Arrogant as though they’re the dominant force and not 4 years since a league title playing in the Europa.
 

VictoriaRed

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Stop holding on to the past? What? It's a reference point to make a point more clear. Completely relevant.