Film The Redcafe Movie review thread

Birdemic


Why the hell did I watch this, without a doubt the worst film I have ever seen, and I have watched some bad ones.
Right from the start it was bad, the film looked like it was made by some high school kids.
The first 45 minutes was just this guy trying to get into a girls pants, then the birds arrived :lol::lol:

I will spoiler this , just in case anybody wants to watch it.

just before the birds arrive you get 5 mins of just useless shots of the town, then the birds arrive, well the very badly done CGI birds arrive,well if you can call just hanging there arriving, but they do nothing, you see then dive bombing places and they sound like WW2 spitfires. At one point the group are in a SUV that just happened to have a machine gun and a hand gun with unlimited bullets in it, and they are shooting these birds with dead bodies round them, but you can see the normal traffic on the road taking no notice.

At another point the film turned into a preachy rant about gloabal warming and war in Iraq
I should of took the advise off here and not watched it, I doubt I will see a film has bad as this ever.

I cant even give it a 0/10, it is not worth it.
 
Christopher Walken was excellent in this. The scene with him and the father of the girl was brilliant.

I really liked Dennis Hopper's cameo as the father but thought everyone else put in pretty bland performances. Walken as a Sicilian is a bit of a stretch! Christian Slater just has no charisma whatsoever, Oldman played another absurd character, Gandolfini was ok, Patricia Arquette was decent (although would I really be saying that if she didn't have her tits hanging out in every second of screentime?). Silly plot and poorly chosen cast IMO.
 
Birdemic


Why the hell did I watch this, without a doubt the worst film I have ever seen, and I have watched some bad ones.
Right from the start it was bad, the film looked like it was made by some high school kids.
The first 45 minutes was just this guy trying to get into a girls pants, then the birds arrived :lol::lol:

I will spoiler this , just in case anybody wants to watch it.

just before the birds arrive you get 5 mins of just useless shots of the town, then the birds arrive, well the very badly done CGI birds arrive,well if you can call just hanging there arriving, but they do nothing, you see then dive bombing places and they sound like WW2 spitfires. At one point the group are in a SUV that just happened to have a machine gun and a hand gun with unlimited bullets in it, and they are shooting these birds with dead bodies round them, but you can see the normal traffic on the road taking no notice.

At another point the film turned into a preachy rant about gloabal warming and war in Iraq
I should of took the advise off here and not watched it, I doubt I will see a film has bad as this ever.

I cant even give it a 0/10, it is not worth it.

It's you, you'll manage to find a way to watch a film that's even worse eventually.:lol:
 
I really liked Dennis Hopper's cameo as the father but thought everyone else put in pretty bland performances. Walken as a Sicilian is a bit of a stretch! Christian Slater just has no charisma whatsoever, Oldman played another absurd character, Gandolfini was ok, Patricia Arquette was decent (although would I really be saying that if she didn't have her tits hanging out in every second of screentime?). Silly plot and poorly chosen cast IMO.

 
Got an 8hr boat trip so it's movie time.

Watched Le Mépris but I'm not really sure what to make of it. Too much symmetry and repetition for me even though the characters were well developed and the pacing was spot on as always. Brigette Bardot was excellent as the annoying, preening, contemptuous wife. Just seemed like there was too much focus on making it a well-made movie rather than a great movie.

Started watching Nagisa Oshima but there's far too many old man dicks and bushy vags for a boat trip! Seemed a strange movie. Worth seeing through some other time?

Bushy 70s vags:drool:

Have you seen Confessions? It's a Japanese revenge thriller on Film Four tonight. Wondering if it is worth watching.
 
Bushy 70s vags:drool:

Have you seen Confessions? It's a Japanese revenge thriller on Film Four tonight. Wondering if it is worth watching.

Nope but it definitely looked worth a watch from the trailer I saw a while back.

The Machinist (2003) - 5/10

Pointlessly twisted and gloomy and the only enjoyment to get out of it is figuring out why this man is losing his mind. There's clues and everything. What fun. The only problem is there's absolutely no subtlety to any of it. It's American Psycho without the dark humour with a Memento-esque narrative style (to a degree). In other words style over substance again. Bale looks so sickeningly thin you can't even pay attention to his acting half the time.
 
It's alright but a bit too over-stylized.

Nope but it definitely looked worth a watch from the trailer I saw a while back.

The Machinist (2003) - 5/10

Pointlessly twisted and gloomy and the only enjoyment to get out of it is figuring out why this man is losing his mind. There's clues and everything. What fun. The only problem is there's absolutely no subtlety to any of it. It's American Psycho without the dark humour with a Memento-esque narrative style (to a degree). In other words style over substance again. Bale looks so sickeningly thin you can't even pay attention to his acting half the time.

Cheers. Spoony gave it the thumbs down but maybe will give the first 20 mins a go- see how I feel.

The Machinist. For some reason I was thinking of that Nic Cage film about snuff movies with that character called The Machine and the Aphex Twin sound track...Sounds pretty relentlessly grim but sounds worth a look.
 
Ghost World - 6.5/10

In severe danger of being spoiled by a deeply unlikeable lead character but saved by the brilliant Steve Buscemi. A decent comedy-drama that has it's moments (basically whenever Buscemi is on screen) but too hipsterish in style to ever go beyond that.
 
I reckon if I reviewed the films I watched on the plane to and from the Maldives in the past month, it would be a motley crew. The new Bourne, Spiderman, The Avengers, Wrath of the Titans, Total Recall remake and some other shit I was too knackered to remember- average probably about 2.

You could probably do a thread on each, but seriously why do a first Spiderman film reboot about six or seven years after the last one:wenger:
 
I reckon if I reviewed the films I watched on the plane to and from the Maldives in the past month, it would be a motley crew. The new Bourne, Spiderman, The Avengers, Wrath of the Titans, Total Recall remake and some other shit I was too knackered to remember- average probably about 2.

You could probably do a thread on each, but seriously why do a first Spiderman film reboot about six or seven years after the last one:wenger:

I turned on my laptop one day to find some thief had downloaded the new bourne spirerman and avengers. Avengers played by itself one night so I was forced to watch it, dont get all the hype about it to be honest. Have watched the other two yet. Is total recall or the wrath of the titans worth a watch?
 
Hitchcock

Anthony Hopkins is just right as the master of suspense as he makes Psycho. The plot revolves around his battles with the censors who were not impressed with his ideas for the shower scene and the studios who didn't think it would be a successful film.

7.5/10
 
I'm pretty sure about what happens with the end. The night before he just couldn't let go with the prosecutor's story, had to impose his rationalism. The upshot was that he basically ruined the guy's life.

Then at the end he has a choice. The murder is a clusterfeck. One man's dead. The killer was probably sleeping with the wife, and claims to be the boy's father. He's destroyed. The boy's going through the mill. There's the mentally retarded brother who had a hand in the killing. The doctor can add into this the nice little detail that the guy was buried alive. Or he can just let it lie. Having learnt a bit of wisdom in the last few minutes, he lets it lie.

As for the apple, at the time I thought it was just a metaphor for being at the whim of fate, but then by the end I thought it was all about the loss of youth. Which fits into the other point... it's a rite of passage film, the doctor's passing from youth to maturity.

I enjoyed the movie and agree with most of what you said but not buying either of the 2 (yours and crappy's) theories behind the apple.

I dont have any of my own either.

One thing that bothered me was that they showed that montage of the doctor's pictures before the actual scene in the office with the prosecutor. at the point in the movie the montage didnt make any sense to me.

And the scene in the coffeshop where the guy talks about someone thinknig he'd seen yassar a couple of days before? what was that?
 
I turned on my laptop one day to find some thief had downloaded the new bourne spirerman and avengers. Avengers played by itself one night so I was forced to watch it, dont get all the hype about it to be honest. Have watched the other two yet. Is total recall or the wrath of the titans worth a watch?

Eh? But on the film front, talk about remakes/epilogues whatever with crap references to the original.

Total Recall has changed the plot line from Earth/Mars to a shit class-based UK/Australia. All of the humour has been stripped out and I just found it a joyless inferior affair. The Philip K Dick book it is based on is only actually about 18 pages long so is kind of remarkable that two blockbusters have been made off it. I found Baxendale wooden and didn't really enjoy it.

Titans is a bit shit. Naff reference to the golden owl in the original and the overall film is a bit meh- even on a long haul flight. Don't want to ruin ot for you but one of the latter scenes involving a couple of the gods was especially gay. Why does Liam Neeson seem contract-bound to be a perma-Zeus character.

As for Bourne, why does that Jeremy Renner seem to be in every film right now? Half his facial features seem to have been drawn on by a crayon in after production.
 
Warrior - fecking garbage. Tom hardy is terrible. Nick nolte is horrible. And the third guy, whatever his name, is just as bad. I have absolutely nothing good to say about the movie. There's just one thing I do want to know, from anyone who's seen this pile of poo - who were those 2 guys they kept randomly showing during the fights, one of them had a terrible perm? there must have been 10 random shots of them going 'ooh' or 'wooah'.
 
Warrior - fecking garbage. Tom hardy is terrible. Nick nolte is horrible. And the third guy, whatever his name, is just as bad. I have absolutely nothing good to say about the movie. There's just one thing I do want to know, from anyone who's seen this pile of poo - who were those 2 guys they kept randomly showing during the fights, one of them had a terrible perm? there must have been 10 random shots of them going 'ooh' or 'wooah'.

I loved Warrior. Have only watched it the once and that was last year some time so I can't remember the two guys.
 
Warrior's an odd one. It's a Jean Claude Van Damme film really. One where Jean plays both parts. But it's made with the intent & seriousness of a Kathryn Bigelow film.
 
Killer Joe A black adult comedy. The problem is that it isn't comedy and the rather ordinary plot has a really dimwitted and idiotic ending. Some of the performances are decent but none of the characters are likable, not even the "innocent" sister. 4/10
 
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Cloud Atlas - Wow, where to start...a daring, intriguing, riveting, unpredictable and wildly ambitious spectacle. My initial reaction is that it's a fantastic piece of work, very pleasing on a visual, aural, emotional and cerebral level. I reckon all good films require a second viewing but this one more so than any other film I've seen. I might pick it apart more or even like it more than I did on the first viewing, one thing's for certain though, I've never quite seen a film like this before. It had a mix of pretty much everything, an Abe Simpson-esque storyline from The Simpsons, Hugh Grant as a blood soaked cannibal, an Avatar world with a gibberish language, a gritty 70's thriller, good and bad makeup and etc...It's a film that will polarize. I will have to think about it some more, as I'm still not sure if it was entirely succesful.
 
A Woman Is a Woman - Highly quotable but it was a bit too annoyingly contrived and it had an air of smugness that was almost unbearable. Godard is usually more tolerable than this.
 
The Machinist. For some reason I was thinking of that Nic Cage film about snuff movies with that character called The Machine and the Aphex Twin sound track...Sounds pretty relentlessly grim but sounds worth a look.
Pace Brwned The Machinist is excellent and far, far superior to 'American Psycho' which is an even shitter film of a really shit book.
 
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Cloud Atlas - Wow, where to start...a daring, intriguing, riveting, unpredictable and wildly ambitious spectacle. My initial reaction is that it's a fantastic piece of work, very pleasing on a visual, aural, emotional and cerebral level. I reckon all good films require a second viewing but this one more so than any other film I've seen. I might pick it apart more or even like it more than I did on the first viewing, one thing's for certain though, I've never quite seen a film like this before. It had a mix of pretty much everything, an Abe Simpson-esque storyline from The Simpsons, Hugh Grant as a blood soaked cannibal, an Avatar world with a gibberish language, a gritty 70's thriller, good and bad makeup and etc...It's a film that will polarize. I will have to think about it some more, as I'm still not sure if it was entirely succesful.

I'm going to watch this in about 30 minutes because of what you wrote. It sort of sounds completely mental and I like that.
 
Bushy 70s vags:drool:

Have you seen Confessions? It's a Japanese revenge thriller on Film Four tonight. Wondering if it is worth watching.

Here's my review, in this very thread no less!

Confessions

Japanese revenge film. A teacher believes her daughter was killed by some of her students and starts a series of events that lead to several more people being killed. It has lots of twists and turns, so I dont want to reveal more of the plot, but if you loved Old Boy, you'll love this. Highly recommended.

9/10
 
Big Fish-8/10

Surprisingly enjoyed this considering it's a Tim Burton film and I usually can't stand his stuff. A big cast lead by Ewan McGregor and Albert Finney, with others such as Buscemi, De Vito and Bonham Carter featuring. It feels a bit like Forest Gump at times, only with some fantasy added in. The ending was a bit cheesy, but still an enjoyable film overall.
 
Just watched the Dark Knight Rises. I know you shouldn't really compare it to the Avengers, but it is about 100x as good.

9/10. Absolutely spectacular film.