Forgetting that Kevin De Bruyne exists until someone starts a thread on him.
Weird feelings of football
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In the latest episode of the United Hour Podcast, Nik @Rood and Imran @Annihilate Now! start with the good news by celebrating Manchester United Women's emphatic FA Cup win over Spurs at Wembley and the future of manager Marc Skinner.
Then it's the bad news and the ever worsening form of our Men with losses to Arsenal and Palace.
Finally the main debate - ETH Out now or keep him until the end of the season - if not longer. Are you Team Nik or Team Imran?
Tony Hibbert deliberately takes a big touch so he can crunch someone in a 50/50.
Galatasaray have two different teams in the Champions League. The home team is like any other pot 3 or 4 team in the competition, the away team would struggle to get out of League 2.
Luca Toni has played for every Italian team. Every year there's a lottery to see who he is playing for that year.
It still feels like Sam Allardyce manages Bolton.
Italian youth prospects are aged roughly 25 to 27 years old.
Chelsea have won every FA Cup I can't remember the winner of.
In between Beckham and Dempsey, the MLS did not exist.
Any half decent player nearing retirement is a legend.
Werder Bremen and Wolfsburg are the same team.
Luxembourg finishes every qualifying campaign with 10 losses and a goal difference of -15
And one that I am positive of: The real-life value of a player will rise by an order of magnitude if they have good potential in the most recent FIFA game.
Italian youth prospects are aged roughly 25 to 27 years old.
Chelsea have won every FA Cup I can't remember the winner of.
In between Beckham and Dempsey, the MLS did not exist.
Any half decent player nearing retirement is a legend.
Werder Bremen and Wolfsburg are the same team.
Luxembourg finishes every qualifying campaign with 10 losses and a goal difference of -15
And one that I am positive of: The real-life value of a player will rise by an order of magnitude if they have good potential in the most recent FIFA game.
England always plays San Marino.
And other random Eastern European countries.
San Marino isn't in Eastern Europe.
I know. I'm saying + random eastern european countries.
If Victor Moses has the ball on the wing and there's a free player in the box ready for a simple cut-back, he will nevertheless try and fail to get to the byline.
players with dreadlocks are especially skilful
In matches against us this season the opposing striker is yet to hit a shot anywhere other than right in the corner of the net (sometimes magically saved by De Gea).
There are a load of tall, Italian strikers (most with long hair) around the age of 30 who have a lot of Italy caps but aren't really that good, or ever were.
Matri, Gilardino, Toni, Quagliarella, Iaquinta off the top of my head.
Matri, Gilardino, Toni, Quagliarella, Iaquinta off the top of my head.
Barcelona play Ajax at some point in every Champions League season
Stoke don't have any other centre backs apart from Huth, Shawcross and Wilson.
Wes Brown is still 21
No matter how much press conferences LvG gives, his english never improves and will always include at least one poor joke that is way funnier in Dutch.
The Dutch squad never won a world cup.
English players never play in Spain. Or Holland for that matter.
Every Dutch player that gets signed by Real Madrid/Barcelona is sold after one season.
The Dutch squad never won a world cup.
English players never play in Spain. Or Holland for that matter.
Every Dutch player that gets signed by Real Madrid/Barcelona is sold after one season.
Liverpool are always in a crisis before they play us then beat us.
They didn't...
I've always thought the same with Real and Lyon.
I honestly feel like Aaron Lennon plays about 4 games a season
Errrr...
The HD camera-work for the El Classico is always so much sharper and more crisp, with more vibrant colours, than any of the HD feeds for PL games.
On the other hand, Serie A games on TV always look like straight from the 90's.
Stephen Taylor has never lasted the full 90 minutes of a game without getting sent off or injured.
Stop watching them!
Spurs narrowly win every game 2-1, with Kane and Eriksen bailing them out after another tumescent performance.
Its like there is some unwritten law that Everton cant do better than Liverpool in the league since i was born. No matter how shit they seem to be we always end up doing worse. Even when we get our record PL points tally they get theirs.
Leichester are doing very well this season beating us 5-3 and doing well against midtable teams.
They're last with 10 points after eighteen games.
They're last with 10 points after eighteen games.
And even when you do they find a way to overshadow your achievement by winning the CL.
Sergio Ramos gets a red card in every match he plays
Busquets dives in every match he plays
Reus is playing for Bayern Munich
VfL Wolfsburg and 1899 Hoffenheim didn't come into existence until 10 years ago
When we beat Manchester City it's always with a late winner
When we lose to Manchester City it's always by at least 4 goals
We never drew against Manchester City
We never lost against Arsenal
We never won against Chelsea
Busquets dives in every match he plays
Reus is playing for Bayern Munich
VfL Wolfsburg and 1899 Hoffenheim didn't come into existence until 10 years ago
When we beat Manchester City it's always with a late winner
When we lose to Manchester City it's always by at least 4 goals
We never drew against Manchester City
We never lost against Arsenal
We never won against Chelsea
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United are always on TV the weekend of Wrestlemania
Chelsea will face Everton in the FA Cup 6th round
There are only three linesman in the PL (Bald one, tall one and the other one)
Kevin Friend is the only fourth official in the PL
Celtic seem to lose every week but still win the SPL by 15+ points
A game never has fewer than 4+minutes of time added on at the end
Whenever Sky drag Dwight Yorke in to pundit a United game it's always a bad game
Chelsea will face Everton in the FA Cup 6th round
There are only three linesman in the PL (Bald one, tall one and the other one)
Kevin Friend is the only fourth official in the PL
Celtic seem to lose every week but still win the SPL by 15+ points
A game never has fewer than 4+minutes of time added on at the end
Whenever Sky drag Dwight Yorke in to pundit a United game it's always a bad game
The gap between Charlie Adam's two front teeth is only beaten in size by the gap he leaves in Stoke's midfield.
Players who have their shirt tucked in, run more than the others.
Good playmaker is 'always' a good looking guy. #nohomo.
United always play on sundays
Every team has to have at least one player with a ridiculous haircut.
There're only about 6 teams in the french league. Nobody's ever seen the other 14 so they might as well be made up.
Harry Redknapp signs Nico Kranjcar every summer, even when he already plays for the club Harry manages.
If you are an England international (i.e. have one cap in a friendly against Norway), a winger/striker, and remotely pacey (and probably black) you will inevitably play for Harry Redknapp at some point in your career.
Aaron Lennon is still a promising young winger.
Paul Merson predicts Arsenal to win every week on SSN no matter how shite they are playing, whilst also predicting that Spurs and United will lose every week no matter how well they are playing.
Spurs make about 10 signings every summer but seem to have fielded largely the same starting 11 since 2008.
Every season a mid-table team signs a foreign (usually African) striker that starts his PL career off by scoring screamers against the top 4, only to go on and be shite for the next 6 years, but somehow constantly gets transfers to all of the other mid-table clubs in that time.
There is always one shit team in the CL that draws away against Barcelona.
Winning the Championship means you'll definitely finish bottom of the PL in the following season.
Any time a PL team buys the best player in the Championship he inevitably turns to rubbish before being sold to MK Dons in League 1 after a couple of seasons on the bench.
If you are an England international (i.e. have one cap in a friendly against Norway), a winger/striker, and remotely pacey (and probably black) you will inevitably play for Harry Redknapp at some point in your career.
Aaron Lennon is still a promising young winger.
Paul Merson predicts Arsenal to win every week on SSN no matter how shite they are playing, whilst also predicting that Spurs and United will lose every week no matter how well they are playing.
Spurs make about 10 signings every summer but seem to have fielded largely the same starting 11 since 2008.
Every season a mid-table team signs a foreign (usually African) striker that starts his PL career off by scoring screamers against the top 4, only to go on and be shite for the next 6 years, but somehow constantly gets transfers to all of the other mid-table clubs in that time.
There is always one shit team in the CL that draws away against Barcelona.
Winning the Championship means you'll definitely finish bottom of the PL in the following season.
Any time a PL team buys the best player in the Championship he inevitably turns to rubbish before being sold to MK Dons in League 1 after a couple of seasons on the bench.