In my younger days, I was rapid and loved sliding into tackles and then bombing up the wing delivering a quality ball into the box. But then, as happens in Ireland, as I got older the drink got a hold of me and I slowly had to change and adapt my game to suit my new less mobile, but more cuddly physique. Eventually, I started to pick up a lot of injuries so knew I had to either give up the drink or give up on my dream of making it at a decent level as a footballer. As I sit here typing on my phone, in between pints, I think I made the right choice. But every now and again i look back at those days when i was in my prime and wish I could get it all back. I was the best right back in the U10 Division 2 league when i was 8!! I could have been the new Thuram, instead i'm just another Lingard.
What are you like as a player?
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In the latest episode of the United Hour Podcast, Nik @Rood and Imran @Annihilate Now! start with the good news by celebrating Manchester United Women's emphatic FA Cup win over Spurs at Wembley and the future of manager Marc Skinner.
Then it's the bad news and the ever worsening form of our Men with losses to Arsenal and Palace.
Finally the main debate - ETH Out now or keep him until the end of the season - if not longer. Are you Team Nik or Team Imran?
Shite. What I want to do in my head seems to get lost on the way to my feet.
Right back, good crosser, good passer but better at long balls than short. I usually take corners and free kicks. Shockingly bad on high balls, and a poor dribbler. Good defensive positioning and great acceleration. I used to love nipping in in front of opposition to intercept passes
I know right!
Where's @SquishyMcSquish ? In my head he's a holding midfielder
Nahh, right back.Where's @SquishyMcSquish ? In my head he's a holding midfielder
I have no technical ability whatsoever but I can run really fast and can do it for ages. Also tackle really hard.
Basically an old school defensive right back. Me trying to cross is hilarious.
I'm a mixture of Neil ruddock and le tissier with none of thier abilities. Basically a big lump kicking shit out of everyone, no pace at all and a joke of a footballer. but my one redeeming quality is I can score worldies or produce a mental pass out of nowhere. No shit. Half way line, chipping the goalkeeper, free kick. Once in 2 or 3 games one piece of magic would happen. The other 99 percent of the game my team would be playing with 10 men.
I'll be like Lee Grant.
Make money, keeping myself in shape in my 30's, not playing in any risky/serious game, busy investing while my team mates work their arses off.
Make money, keeping myself in shape in my 30's, not playing in any risky/serious game, busy investing while my team mates work their arses off.
A RB? Interesting I would never of guessed, my crossing is quite good. I love taking corners
13-17yrs old - Goalkeeper. I was bloody good, too. Not big for my age though, very much a Shay Given type shot stopper, really fast reflexes and given my smaller stature, very very good in one on one situations. Almost impossible to beat on a good day! Played to a reasonably high standard, county level.
17-21yrs old - LB. My coaches when I was a keeper used to say I was somewhat wasted in goal as I was exceptionally fast back then and for a smallish kid, a monster of a hitter in the tackle. Absolutely loved a massive tackle and 9/10, came out the better. Good in the air, too, with my GK background. However, very technically limited - I relied 100% on my speed really. My positioning was so-so, I had no actual skill so going forward I was just a hit-and-run merchant with a poor cross, haha. More of a defensive LB. Maybe someone like Gabriel Heinze might be a good comparison?
21 - found partying haha.
17-21yrs old - LB. My coaches when I was a keeper used to say I was somewhat wasted in goal as I was exceptionally fast back then and for a smallish kid, a monster of a hitter in the tackle. Absolutely loved a massive tackle and 9/10, came out the better. Good in the air, too, with my GK background. However, very technically limited - I relied 100% on my speed really. My positioning was so-so, I had no actual skill so going forward I was just a hit-and-run merchant with a poor cross, haha. More of a defensive LB. Maybe someone like Gabriel Heinze might be a good comparison?
21 - found partying haha.
Right footed Giggs.
like Pippo Inzaghi, always offside.
I used to play DM. I was a short passer of the ball like a poor Fred and tackled like a poor Kevin Muscat.
I heard a great quote recently which I think is relevant to most of us here:
"The older I get, the better I used to be"
Haha, why did you think I was a holding mid?! Tbf I did used to play DM, but less holding and more just running around a lot and tackling. I wasn’t very good at it, passing is truly terrible.A RB? Interesting I would never of guessed, my crossing is quite good. I love taking corners
I envy you. Can’t take a corner at all.
Set piece and long ball specialist. Slow as F (not a fatass, just slow) deep sitting central midfielder. Seldom outside the circle in the middle other than for taking set-pieces.
If given time, could ping a killer pass, but useless when pressured on the ball.
If given time, could ping a killer pass, but useless when pressured on the ball.
I don't know you just give me those vibes, you seem like you read the game well.
I used to really struggle with corners and getting the ball off ground, then I changed the way I kicked the ball, I get my foot under the ball better now.
Quality mate haha
Lionel Messi in Cristiano Ronaldo's physique. Probably the greatest of all time tbh.
Imagine if Pirlo and Ronaldo Nazario had a baby, then tried to abort it, but it didn't take. Then that attempted-abortion of a human had children with even more issues, my play style is similar to the middle child of that family.
I would say dribbling number 8 (in between a DM and number 10) My first touch and control is by far my best attribute( Think of Berbatov level killing any ball dead in one movement) and I'm quite pressing resistant and very comfortable at escaping pressure.
Although I stood in at GK once in the school team when our regular keeper got injured. Never saved anything or dived in my life though, only used my feet.
Although I stood in at GK once in the school team when our regular keeper got injured. Never saved anything or dived in my life though, only used my feet.
That makes two of us then. Especially now I’m past 40, fat and unfit.
Shorter, fatter, less quick version of De Gea, but I read the game & marshal my backs like VdS.
that was me. My left foot was for standing on.I feel like I can read it well but I never really have the technical ability to quite play that kind of role. Not really sure why, poor coaching when I was growing up? I was really, really quick and fit at school etc so I always just kinda fell back on that rather than learning the basics well. Was quite lazy in that respect. Started out as a winger and was really good at school level just sprinting past people (honestly my shooting etc was so inept i used to always just kick it past the keeper for a tap in) but gradually as I got to college/uni level I realised that just being fast and running around a lot wasn't enough. So I kinda fell back to a right back role where the stuff I can do really well is important at that level.
Does kinda seep in to my mentality as a football fan too, I fecking love a trier! Sometimes maybe guilty of overrating the players willing to run in our team.
Fair play to you, that must've taken some real effort, I know changing your technique just gets harder and harder as you get older. I'm way too set in my ways now, honestly I do think I had some poor coaches as a kid who didn't correct my errors and now they're ingrained.
If Dimitar Berbatov was deployed on the left wing, and was 55.
And had lost a foot.
And had lost a foot.
I’m a cnut if I’m being honest.
A left footed Kaka with fecked up knees
Quite a technical player, I'm left footed but can pass and shoot with my right. Quite nippy as I'm short, so I have that low centre of gravity
Superfast headless chicken. Came to my best in a bar after the game.
Think C. Ronaldo 04-05
Right back. Good defender. Very good at slide tackles (like Wan Bissaka) and very quick. Shocking in the air though, otherwise I would have probably been a centre back
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Who is you Caf XI?
Like Messi without the growth hormone
Do you still play now? You're right it is harder to change your technique as you get older but its doable with practice. I'm pretty much the opposite as Ive always had soft spot for flair players, I've definitely appreciated work rate more over these past few years. Probably because we haven't been doing that great since SAF so I definaltey appreciate players that put in the extra effort.
I was a poor man's George Best and Maradona without any footballing ability. A career plagued by my love of booze and cocaine. However it was cheap cans and cheap coke and low quality women. Did once have a weird game where I was unplayable and scored 6 goals from left wing. I was a bloody good Gaelic footballer though.
Box to box midfielder who prefers to attack over defending. Love an aerial battle and a long distance shot.
Better long passing than short, very direct with my play with as little fancy dan stuff as possible.
Good team player.
Better long passing than short, very direct with my play with as little fancy dan stuff as possible.
Good team player.
Not since Uni, but need to get back in to it. Still play a kick around with friends and stuff but nothing properly organised at the moment.
Yeah, with effort/training I could probably improve, but not sure it's really worth putting that in now! I should definitely have worked at it a lot more at a grassroots level, but oh well.
Workhorses are great. As much as Sissoko has no ability in the final third, I'll always like him because he'll bust a gut. That's what every fan wants really, players to give as much of a shit (minimum) as they do.
I've had A. Valencia's left foot, Lukaku's first touch, overall technical ability of Lingard, concentration and positioning of David Luiz, J.Mata's current physical attributes, O. Dembele's intelligence and decision making - all that combined with Cudicini's ambition and determination. in short, every manager's dream.
The kind of goalie that ends the game with a clean sheet, a black eye and probably a cracked rib