Fat
What are you like as a player?
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In the latest episode of the United Hour Podcast, Nik @Rood and Imran @Annihilate Now! start with the good news by celebrating Manchester United Women's emphatic FA Cup win over Spurs at Wembley and the future of manager Marc Skinner.
Then it's the bad news and the ever worsening form of our Men with losses to Arsenal and Palace.
Finally the main debate - ETH Out now or keep him until the end of the season - if not longer. Are you Team Nik or Team Imran?
ThanksRubbish because I have zero stamina.
But I can pick a mean overhead through-ball if I playing 7/11 a side. And I'll probably score 8 or 9 everytime i play 5 a side because i can actually shoot with both feet, so fat lads can't handle the switch
Quite a technical player, I'm left footed but can pass and shoot with my right. Quite nippy as I'm short, so I have that low centre of gravity 
Pretty much the same. Although I can strike the ball well but not great at generating power and distance
Retired for almost 20 years despite being (only) 35 years old.
Like to fool around having fun when playing smiles, jokes and all, game is a game anyway, not professional football.
Likes to pass and make assists. Always try to make team play combinations in attacking and keeping possession. Always support teammates positionally and with off ball movements. Making those creative passes is just so pleasing.
Sometimes dribble solo depends on situations.
Rubbish stamina, so now I tend to sit deep and control energy.
Likes to counter and hit 'em hard United style but depends on situations.
Cool/relax/calm play at first but seriously if we're losing by a mile, berserk mode activated - crazy press, release all steam, high energy, high tempo, attack attack attack, no more fooling around. Attacking still the same with mostly team plays but more driven dribbling runs.
smiles, jokes and all, game is a game anyway, not professional football.Likes to pass and make assists. Always try to make team play combinations in attacking and keeping possession. Always support teammates positionally and with off ball movements. Making those creative passes is just so pleasing.
Sometimes dribble solo depends on situations.
Rubbish stamina, so now I tend to sit deep and control energy.
Likes to counter and hit 'em hard
United style but depends on situations.Cool/relax/calm play at first but seriously if we're losing by a mile, berserk mode activated - crazy press, release all steam, high energy, high tempo, attack attack attack, no more fooling around. Attacking still the same with mostly team plays but more driven dribbling runs.
Play as a holding/DLP sometimes box to box.. love man marking, pretty nippy and very two footed but also love to do tricks and through balls/long passes and set pieces. Am shite in the air though (go missing at defending set pieces).. so probably someone like Verratti or Thiago are players I get compared to in terms of style. More of a creator/destroyer than a goal scorer.
I've played a lot of CM and CB in my life.
I have a decent touch and good passing skills, with an occasional thunderbastard goal in me.
I do love a hard tackle, even in my beer league.
My superpower is shithousery so I see myself as an older version of Ander Herrera, only prettier!
I have a decent touch and good passing skills, with an occasional thunderbastard goal in me.
I do love a hard tackle, even in my beer league.
My superpower is shithousery so I see myself as an older version of Ander Herrera, only prettier!
The sort of player that pretends to jump for headers with zero interest in winning them.
I used to be fit. Now I’m 26 and turn like an oil tanker.
Read from all of that what you will.
I used to be fit. Now I’m 26 and turn like an oil tanker.
Read from all of that what you will.
Quite fast I can shoot, pick a pass and hit a free kick.
But stamina is shit and can’t tackle so I am mostly useless.
Score about 6-7 goals every 5-aside and 1-2 every 7-aside.
But stamina is shit and can’t tackle so I am mostly useless.
Score about 6-7 goals every 5-aside and 1-2 every 7-aside.
Wing back. Liked getting forward and assisting.Loved crossing,arguably my best strength.
Was pretty good 1v1 defensively.
Was fairly quick and had very good stamina.
Overtime I became slightly obsessed in playing games predominantly with my weaker foot for improvement. So my left foot is actually pretty good now.
My major weakness is heading. I just dont like it. It hurts my head.
Was pretty good 1v1 defensively.
Was fairly quick and had very good stamina.
Overtime I became slightly obsessed in playing games predominantly with my weaker foot for improvement. So my left foot is actually pretty good now.
My major weakness is heading. I just dont like it. It hurts my head.
As in for the actual Bristol City academy? I think he used to play for Bristol Central before getting picked up, right?
Norwegian Zlatan, without the talent or the sass
Slightly over weight, lazy and a brilliant outside right foot.
Also an injury prone lower back lately.
Also an injury prone lower back lately.
So, a bad left foot then?
Oh yeah, shocking. It's a small wonder I can even walk somewhat straight.So, a bad left foot then?
I'm not a neurologist, but If I got head discomfort that easily, I would have it checked out by a doctor who can forward you to a specialist at the hospital. Better safe than sorry.
Left fullback. I could run for hours and was quite good defensively and actually had solid shooting and positioning, but no technical ability whatsoever.
A consistent, tenacious, two footed fullback/centre mid with a decent cross. Basically James Milner
My preferred position would be CM/AM. I’m pretty two-footed, work hard, got decent vision and passing, both long and short.
Fat Goalie in my prime but now it would take me most of the first half to get down to pick up the ball and there would be no fecking chance of me getting back up once I went down.
Anti-Kante.
Not moving around at all. Preferably sitting down watching the game.
Not moving around at all. Preferably sitting down watching the game.
Yaya Toure. I'm 6'2 and 15.5 stone, so my name 'Dozer' is due to my playing style being that of a bulldozer.
And I never shoot with finesse, always the laces.
Will probably move back to CB once I reach my early 30s and lose a bit of athleticism. I'd say my biggest flaw is I don't have the knack of taking a look over my shoulder prior to receiving the ball, that all the best players have. I didn't really play football until I was 14 so it wasn't coached into me.
And I never shoot with finesse, always the laces.
Will probably move back to CB once I reach my early 30s and lose a bit of athleticism. I'd say my biggest flaw is I don't have the knack of taking a look over my shoulder prior to receiving the ball, that all the best players have. I didn't really play football until I was 14 so it wasn't coached into me.
Vinni Jones, only less disciplined!
Coked up Maradona crossed with a fat Ronaldo.
I am a box-to-box keeper.
I have an interesting range of strengths and weaknesses.
Strengths:
1. Above-average pace.
2. Near perfect two footedness
3. 5'11 and 74 kg so I can do a job in any position
4. I make a lot of interceptions
5. Good dribbling
6. Accurate crossing
Weaknesses:
1. No composure in central midfield
2. Fear of heading (fear of collisions not of the ball)
3. Never had enough stamina to play a competitive 60 minutes of football
I play with two amateur teams. I generally play at left-back for the one, and on the right flank for the other, and I'm quite dominant at both.
Strengths:
1. Above-average pace.
2. Near perfect two footedness
3. 5'11 and 74 kg so I can do a job in any position
4. I make a lot of interceptions
5. Good dribbling
6. Accurate crossing
Weaknesses:
1. No composure in central midfield
2. Fear of heading (fear of collisions not of the ball)
3. Never had enough stamina to play a competitive 60 minutes of football
I play with two amateur teams. I generally play at left-back for the one, and on the right flank for the other, and I'm quite dominant at both.
Riquelme. Good play maker, used to do a lot of tricks and dribble a lot. Was nicknamed Ronald after Ronaldinho due to tricks and Messi due to my dribbling.
work ethic was shocking though and I wasn’t up for the physical side of it much. I never liked tackling despite being okay at it, easily wound up as well so I was kicked off two teams
Useless at heading in attacking scenarios, not bad defensively when I bother to go back. Despite good passing and dribbling, my finishing is poor. Quite static unless I had the ball.
My main issue was my drive. If I didn’t start well, I may as well not be playing. A good start and I’m flying.
work ethic was shocking though and I wasn’t up for the physical side of it much. I never liked tackling despite being okay at it, easily wound up as well so I was kicked off two teams
Useless at heading in attacking scenarios, not bad defensively when I bother to go back. Despite good passing and dribbling, my finishing is poor. Quite static unless I had the ball.
My main issue was my drive. If I didn’t start well, I may as well not be playing. A good start and I’m flying.
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Now? Terrible - i'd make Matic look mobile and Fred like Pirlo.
In my young hayday, i was still pretty unfit, but not so unfit that'd i'd fall over trying to kick the ball because i'd probably get cramp in my leg. I could pick a pass though and liked to do pointless tricks.
I'm oddly good at Badminton though - doubles, not singles (half the court to cover). Have a very deft touch.
In my young hayday, i was still pretty unfit, but not so unfit that'd i'd fall over trying to kick the ball because i'd probably get cramp in my leg. I could pick a pass though and liked to do pointless tricks.
I'm oddly good at Badminton though - doubles, not singles (half the court to cover). Have a very deft touch.
What?
Roy Keane.
Defensive midfielder but the lazy kind Honestly I much prefer spreading the ball around than to chase it
Honestly I much prefer spreading the ball around than to chase itA better version of Lingard.
I've played all positions, but 2 positions mainly RB/CM. (I still play a few times a week in local amateur leagues)
When I play CM I try to play a lot like Scholes toward the end of his career. Lots of quick link up play, an eye for a opening pass and I LOVE to get stuck in. I see some McTominay in my game as well.
When I play RB I play a lot like Rafael. I get forward and create. I love to get stuck in and battle players
Shite with the ball at my feet, good in the air and love a good tackle, would through myself into any block of tackle, basic a very shite Michael Dawson.
I feel like I am the undiscovered Marcelo. Leftback who is in love with the goal and the left winger. damn Scouts, should've seen me but I can't blame them for me getting a red card every 4 games
Exactly like Lingard. Can't do shit to save life..
Messie LingalQuite a technical player, I'm left footed but can pass and shoot with my right. Quite nippy as I'm short, so I have that low centre of gravity
Most similar to Muller I reckon. Not technical at all but I've got great movement and every now and again pull off an amazing bit of skill somehow. Good engine too and can do a decent job all over midfield.