You are Ed Woodward. What do you do?

[100]

Woodward needs to relinquish any footballing responsibilities. You copy what City did and employ a footballing director who's had success at one of the top European clubs. You hire a top manager that fits with their vision.

 

[Rhyme Animal]

We hired one of the best managers in the world in Mourinho and it didn't work.

1. It worked ALOT better than this.

2. *Dates hot woman* - *has decent sex for 2 years* - *breaks up cuz she's a bitch* - *Then pity dates woman WAY below own standard* - *Needs to dump her* - *Has opportunity to date another hot woman*

"But, the last time I dated a hot woman it went wrong after 2 years..."

And I know DDG is having a poor run of form but don't think VDS would do much better.

Touché

 

[RussellWilson]

Sack Ole. Sign Poch.

 

[Bo_7iDaR]

Keep raking in the cash for my parasitic bosses while the deluded fans fight amongst themselves for eternity over whether manager XYZ is the man to take the club back to where it belongs.

 

[RedCurry]

I wouldn’t be in this position if I were Ed. Sure everyone can make mistakes but getting every important football decision wrong has to be pretty tough thing to do. At this point, owners should do the decent thing and fire him. Otherwise their investment will be cut in half by next season.

 

[Ashish Negi]

Sex

 

[Foxbatt]

Call Fat Sam.

 

[AllezLesDiables]

I’d like your finest candy bar and only your finest will do... I will give you 100 pounds for it.

 

[Whiteside '85]

Look in the mirror and tell myself I have everything under control. Ole is at the wheel it's all going to be fine, they love me. I'm the Glazers man I am then repeat x 100
Then sack Ole cos it's all his fault

 

[Amerifan]

Cash out my United shares.

 

[Ralph1386]

Of I were Ed Woodward I would resign and apologize for the bad job I’ve done.

 

[red thru&thru]

Go all out and get Rangnick and Paul Mitchell. Maybe speak to Edwin and see how he would get involved.

I would get these guys to come up with a plan and vision for bringing back Manchester United. As I am Ed, I ready know that my remit is to get Manchester United being the best club in England and get to winning in Europe. Part of this remit is to have United playing attacking and exciting football again. Blood the youth from our academy and bring in the top young players in the world and make them into stars.

My club makes plenty of money and we can out spend all of our rivals...according to FFP rules. We have the resources and brand to do this. I will convince the owners this is the way forward, as we can add more value to the club and attract big sponsors again. However, If the owners will not allow me to do this, bearing in mind I have made plenty of money and self respect left, I will resign and it will be clear all to see where the problems lie.

 

[varga92]

Find a new official partner for the club. Maybe the "The Official Antidepressant Partner of Manchester United" or something like that.

 

[Adam-Utd]

Find a coach that can actually teach players how to play football as a team, but also improve players individually.

fed up of our managers acting like it’s a 5 year save of football manager.

 

[groovyalbert]

Find an official parachute sponsor?

 

[Crashoutcassius]

work out what managers are available and when and make decisions based off that

what fans want is sack Ole and then do step 1.

No, do step 1, there are only a few managers in world football good enough to commit to.. the hurdle shouldn't 'but anything is better than this therefore hire whoever is available'.

Ideally, Woodward should appoint a top football person to help with the decision but he hasn't managed for over 1 year and it feels a bit too late now. Use the football expertise already at the club to line up a top global managerial talent that fits what we want to do (as well as we understand it, which isn't very well, so it isn't ideal).

Alongside this we should be looking for someone to manage the football side of the club beyond this season.

As for the team in the short term, top managers tend not to leave mid season so without a director of football it is difficult to spend significant money right before someone new comes in. That said, the squad is desperate for reinforcements in the front 6 where the bulk of our players are academy players. I think via Ole if he can pick the results up short term or via some interim if Oles next month stays the same we need to bring in a centre mid, and option out wide and some kind of striker, whether it be on loan or not.

 

[marukomu]

Apply to join the Scottish league.

 

[SaintMuppet]

Ole out.

AllegrIN.

Three players in January, handpicked by Allegri.

No chance we sign 3 in January. 1 would be a miracle

 

[Green_Red]

Resign from the club

 

[Crashoutcassius]

Conduct a thorough interview process to hire a director of football. The process should fairly assess the candidates previous achievements and his plan for the future. Upon hiring the said candidate, let him have full control over the club's transfer dealings and management.

how quick do you think we could turn this around? a part of me thinks this takes months and it is too long... but maybe in reality this should be turned around in a month, which would be a good outcome

Do you think it would be hard to get the top names to leave a club mid season? and if so should we wait until end of year to get a top name or just take a mediocre cv?

 

[littlepeasoup]

Won't resign (obviously) and if he were to be sacked (which he won't be) he'd get a massive payout and probably slither into another top job at a Fortune 500 company. It's clear at this point that the bloke lives in a bubble of self-inflated ego, and none of our opinions on here is going to change a damn thing.

Ed, if you're reading this, I think you're a massive thunder-c.

 

[SaintMuppet]

Throw Ole under the wheel and go sign another sponsor

 

[MyOnlySolskjaer]

Do whatever role he is doing for us for Liverpool instead.

 

[wolvored]

He will sign another noodle deal and think of the money coming in. He will tell Ole hes still got the backing for a long term rebuild, as long as we dont get relegated. He will discuss the NFL and Baseball league with the Glazers and finish with, Oh the soccer team lost, but that new noodle deal....

 

[Moiraine]

Resign

 

[always_hoping]

Drill a hole in his head to let the excess fluid out of his brain.

 

[Icemav]

I would go for the best lobster champagne dinner in town. Then I would book a 9 day holiday in the Maldives. Work-life balance is very important.

 

[TheLoveless]

I'd bring in a football man to be Head of Football and have him report to me.

Precisely this. Woodward is an amazing CEO except for football related business. He’s done wonders for the club financially. That’s why he’s still there.

 

[Van Piorsing]

Being Ed Woodward now is pretty much sacking Ole or any manager to be praised for solving the problem he created in the first place.

 

[Suedesi]

If I was Ed Woodward, I'd load the entire team on the bus for a “secret training” trip and then let the bus off the cliff.

Morbid jokes aside, I'd hire a competent DOF and coach. That'd be a step in the right direction.

 

[JMack1234]

I'd sack Solskjaer because I got carried away by a hype train and wanted to be liked by supporters. Also you're going to have to sack him sooner rather than later so why not now?

Appoint an old hand caretaker who cannot possibly get the job.

Then I'd play a waiting game and see if it bubbles up at Spurs and see if Poch rage quits. If not bring in Allegri.

 

[cj_sparky]

Ed needs to stick with finding official Toilet Roll and Pillow partners. The financial side of the club.

Bringing in a Director of Football, incorporate a structure that recruits coaches of a similar type with a long term style and goal. Then recruit player to suit that style.

 

[lsd]

Tell the fans to grow a pair

 

[Infra-red]

Sack Solskjaer, Carrick, Phelan and McKenna, appoint Allegri and an experienced DoF, give them £150m to spend in January.

I don't like Allegri and don't really want him here, but Woodward must now be starting to think the unthinkable and contemplating the prospect of United being involved in a genuine relegation battle.

 

[Heinzesight]

Get myself a chin.

 

[United Hobbit]

I'm going to say I'm the Glazers because if I'm Ed I continue doing what I'm doing as no one challenges me and I can just throw managers under the bus to cover my own failings

So as the Glazers

-Sack Ole. Tomorrow. I'd possibly look into offering him a scouting role as his signings have been interesting However first I'd need to know whether it was he who identified Dan James personally or was he recommended to him- the other signings while good are ones even most of the people on the cafe wanted

- Appoint a caretaker manager until the end of the season. Preferably asap so they have time to work with the team before the Liverpool game

-Move Ed to the corporate only side of things including things like getting sponsorship deals

-Review the medical/ fitness side of things- why do our players get injured so easily? Why do they take so long to return?

-Appoint a DOF preferably in time for the January transfer window and allow them to sort purchases of at least 1 midfielder and striker however not just a panic buy type

- Get the DOF to Review the scouting network, while we should be getting players like Sancho if possible why has only Dan James been one of our better signings of players from smaller clubs lately? Why can Liverpool identify the likes of Andy Robertson. We want a mix of established and rough diamond type signings

-In the summer, with consultation with the DOF and perhaps some of the board appoint a permanent manager following an intense interview period eg wanting full tactical visions, 3 year plans, how they plan to take the club forward, players they'd look at etc. I'd want a manager who plays exciting football as watching exciting football will get the fans excited, solving the stadium noise issue. They also need to be able to develop players

-Fully back the new manager in the transfer window

 

[el3mel]

Sack myself.

 

[Green_Red]

A leopard doesn't change its spots. Woodward will do what Woodward does. Sack another manager and make him the scapegoat for the complete mismanagement of the football club in terms of transfer policy, managerial appointments and general investment into the club.

What would I like him to do is a completely different question. As long as him and the parasites are here we will continue our downward trajectory.

 

[Alex99]

Genuinely starting to think the incompetence is deliberate. Bare minimum being done on a football level with no care at all put into it. He's literally there to make the Glazer's money, and as soon as that's in danger, I think they'll cash-in and leave whatever wreck we're in by then for someone else to sort out.

 

[Alemar]

Realistically he isn't going to remove himself from his job, and I don't think the Glazer's ever will either. So what would be your plan/strategy to get the club back challenging at the top of the league again?

1. Hire a caretaker
2. Hire a DoF from Atletico Madrid.
3. Grant him full authority to handle transfers.
4. Start negotiations with a good manager