Hectic is right, again.
Static, slow motion zombie passing
- Thread starter noodlehair
- Start date
Fantastic thread and well-coined phrase, zombie passing is spot on.
It's a brilliantly appropriate term.
Noodles is right, hectic is wrong.
Noodles is right, hectic is wrong.
amolbhatia100 is right, again I guess.
It's the Little Britain of football forum punditry.
I think that about says it all. That's Kevin guys. You're agreeing with Kevin.
Seriously what's wrong with it, apart from the fact that it annoys a lot of you and mocks our football ? At times we play extremely slow football as if we're playing on quicksand rather than grass. Granted people jump to apply it even when it's not merited but the phrase is pretty apt to decribe before mentioned style.
What is with the overstated poorly attempted comedy nonsense? It never looks like we are playing on quicksand.
Yes please! Smalling has just what we need; a center back with pace that allows our defense to sit higher up the pitch allowing for less space between our midfield and defense! Fabio or Rafael on right back!
That pitch in Hong Kong was pretty bad to be fair.
Computa says nooooooo.
Sand, ok. Quicksand no. How has noodle's stand up routine become accepted as analysis?
It's just a slightly more colourful way of saying that we often play slow-paced, boring football without any penetration and we lack movement off the ball.
There are far sillier phrases used regularly all over the forum (and everywhere else), not sure why this one is getting stick.
We are slow because when someone gets the ball, nobody moves towards them to give a passing option, so then the player stands about looking for a pass, which is usually miles away, then we lose the ball and it all starts again.
It's getting stick because it's taken as some sort of mantra by clowns.
Rawkish seems to have been redefined recently to describe knee-jerk reactionary criticism, when I always took it to mean unbridled blinkerdness, the stamping out of dissent and the ridiculing of negative opinions (and poetry)
All i've seen any of the modmins (noodle aside) do in the last 12 hours is wander around threads telling everyone they're dick heads and their opinions are stupid for being over critical without really offering much deconstruction themselves.
This is exactly how Rawkish Moderating started.
All i've seen any of the modmins (noodle aside) do in the last 12 hours is wander around threads telling everyone they're dick heads and their opinions are stupid for being over critical without really offering much deconstruction themselves.
This is exactly how Rawkish Moderating started.
You are right Mockney, Michael McIntyre style exaggerated comedic one liners are the best way to analyse football.
I will maintain our problems are collective as opposed to individuals. We have not been a good 'team' for years in my view. Swansea play better stuff than us because they are a better 'team'. This is something that encouraged me about Moyes coming in, because I felt Everton were easily a better team than United over the last couple of years, although we of course had better footballers.
Exhilarating post. Fantastic.
Attempts at humour, even subjectively misjudged ones, are surely more beneficial to this forum than going round telling people their post/opinions/jokes are stupid?
If we can be OTT with praise after relatively straight forward victories like Levekusen and Swansea, then we can be OTT with criticism after shockingly poor losses.
Out of the options of critique, along not being critical, parroting the obvious, being over analytical in tedious multi-paragraph statistical breakdowns and venting your spleen in a fit of bonkers rage, the only one that's even the least bit interesting on this place is the 'lightly mocking our situation with humour' option.
If you're going to take umbrage at that now, then feck me this place is in trouble if we keep up these performances.
I have no bother with criticism, mocking or otherwise, I just take issue with a joke being adapted as some sort of definitive, and I'm not having a go at anyone except those doing that, so this is among your worst crusades in my opinion.
A league title and a hundred goals later you really need this deconstructed?
Because it doesn't make sense and never applies to anything. Sometimes we move the ball around slower than other times. Why not just say that instead of the "slow motion zombie" bollocks. The most annoying thing is it is used even when there is nothing wrong, seemingly because people are as retarded as the term and don't really know what they are saying.
I don't think that's very accurate.
Exactly. So we we slow and it does make sense.
So there's nothing wrong with the term then, just some people who misuse it.
And I can't believe someone whose watched last us over the last few seasons can think it's just a case of us "moving the ball slower than other times". Some of the spells we have in this period, particularly the phase when it was coined (Giggs and scholes playing together a lot), it's been ridiculous how devoid of intensity some of our performances have been.
They're certainly fun and save effort.
Maybe, but they are about as relevant as a youtube compilation.
And no disrespect, but you wouldn't be my go to guy on what's fun.
No, as I said it doesn't make sense and doesn't apply to anything. I've never seen a United game and thought the OP applied to it. I offered an alternative which actually does make sense and is what people tend to mean. It's even used when there is absolutely nothing wrong in a performance, or when we've won and just not been spectacular about it, further compounding the retardedness of it.
I didn't say it's just a case of moving the ball slower at times, obviously in games there can be more than just one single problem, but that's what I'd say most people mean when they say the term.
Not really. It's like saying the team was very static and slow in their buildup. If the team plays that way, it's pretty relevant. A youtube clip doesn't say much except "this is what a player is capable of". Actually those two examples are pretty different.
Regarding the latter, lighten up mate. Noone's saying "omg zombie football that's fecking hilarious! I'm dying of laughter!". It's just an amusing wording that fits.
You're way off the mark. We've suffered from "it" very often. I don't know how you watch united and don't think so.
As for the term, you offered an alternative but people don't want to use it. So they probably will. Why do they have use your wording? And why do you care so much about wording? Why not just discuss the point it represents. It's so irrelevant to be discussing the damn phrase like this.
Yeah, you've got Jake for that.
It's exactly the same.
This from the OP, to use your words, is at most what we are 'capable' of during a flat period of some games. Is it not how we play. It is the jocular but misleading verbal equivalent of a youtube clip.
The point is that it happens a bit more often than it should. Hence the constant complaints that our football is boring and we're lacking creativity.
What? Are you being serious? You've got to learn to take things a bit less literally. Maybe just a teeny tiny bit.
I think the main problem we have is how slow we play the ball out of defence, especially when Vidic and Ferdinand both play, but yesterday wasn't because of what we did with the ball, it was down to what we did without it. If you don't do the basics and track runners you're going to concede goals. As for this zombie passing stuff, every side when they play poorly are guilty of it, the good teams all rely on tempo to break sides down, it's nothing individual to us, it's why Fergie banged on about our speed of play after every game.
That OP was pretty spot on to be fair and it still applies now. The movement off the ball and link up play even when we're playing reasonably is shocking in comparison to other top teams. It's perhaps the worst aspect of any top team I've ever seen.
What? Are you being serious? You've got to learn to take things a bit less literally. Maybe just a teeny tiny bit.
What do you mean? We are having a discussion about how a simplistic gag has been turned into a mantra. I think the youtube comparison is quite valid. It's a snapshot of something we do on the way to winning games, scoring goals and winning titles. That's the context of the gripe.
Debate or go away. You offer very little to any discussion apart from dismissive posts, regarding other posters or the players.