Cristiano Ronaldo | Signs for United! Fcuk City

[tomaldinho1]

He'll get thw other half in the usual Man City way.

Haha yeah exactly:

Dear Cristiano,

Please see details of our offer below.

1. Weekly salary (sorry, we have yet to bribe HMRC and get round this being taxed)
2. Pension fund contributions into a Cayman island, a Jersey based and also a Hong Kong fund at 250% of weekly salary (each)
3. Multiple carry points across all ADIA funds (please keep confidential)
4. Miscellaneous assets worth £0 (don't worry even though our expert valued the assets at £0 they are oilfields, brownfield development sites, shopping malls and spa complexes)
5. You are now a trustee of multiple Al Nahyan charities and will be reimbursed accordingly.

As an aside, please encourage any friends and family possible to come to watch at the stadium - we have many free seats.

Best,
King Sheiky McSheik

 

[Keyser]

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[TrueRed79]

A smart man, that’s who. A man that doesn’t want to lose half of his net worth to divorce & child support payments, and only get 50/50 time with his kids (if he’s lucky). It’s 100% what I would do if I was wealthy, the system is entirely rigged against men so I think we’ll start seeing this happen a lot more.

Sure thing. Such a thing as a prenup if you're worried about your dosh.

 

[Bebestation]

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[Red Shorts]

If someone does manage to hijack the bid, we need scouts ready and waiting for Bluemoon. Although sounds they wouldnt be entirely bothered if it doesnt happen

 

[Infra-red]

City signing a 37 year old on daft wages is not a reason to protest, especially after our outlay and players we've signed this summer...

No midfielders, a mammoth debt and Old Trafford rotting would be much better reasons.

 

[UnitedSofa]

Does Rio know something we don't....

Was about to say the same thing

 

[Red Shorts]

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bloody hell did that slip under the radar!

 

[Mickeza]

Hopefully. I think this, in combination with no new CM coming in, and potentially points being dropped in the coming weeks / months will do it.

Fantastic. Let’s stop the players playing again because we haven’t signed a CM and drew to Southampton. feck me sideways.

 

[mu4c_20le]

Sure thing. Such a thing as a prenup if you're worried about your dosh.

Maybe he doesn't want the hassles of divorce and going through half a dozen partners?

 

[Rajiztar]

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And he is chelsea fan.

 

[tomaldinho1]

Still think he will bag double digit goals for city though…just very sad to see but that’s football for you

Yh but so would someone like Bamford.

 

[McTerminator]

At least he's having fun about it - I thought he'd be fuming, even if Ronaldo is his friend

Maybe he know something we don’t.

 

[El Zoido]

Sure thing. Such a thing as a prenup if you're worried about your dosh.

Prenups don’t work, look at Dr Dre. Had a prenup and is now paying $300k per month to her for the rest of his life. Lawyers can easily invalidate them, she just has to say it was signed under duress, and it’s worth less than the paper it’s written on.

Honestly Ronaldo has done this right.

 

[crossy1686]

Sure thing. Such a thing as a prenup if you're worried about your dosh.

Ronaldo probably wanted a kid and didn't want to settle down, I probably wouldn't if I were him. Can you imagine being in a relationship with him anyway? 4 hours a day talking to himself in the mirror/looking at his abs, 6 hours a day just doing sit ups, not letting you eat a carb ever, screaming "Si!" at random intervals throughout the day, talking about himself exclusively. Draining man...

 

[stevoc]

Rooney can't talk, he was on the verge of quitting Utd for City himself and held the club to ransom to stay...

I think it's been well documented on here over the years that that was mostly paper talk. No one involved has ever said there was anything to it though he did get a large pay rise after the speculation.

 

[crossy1686]

No midfielders, a mammoth debt and Old Trafford rotting would be much better reasons.

They are, although some of those things have been addressed or are being addressed currently. We should be shipping out to the first bidder on some of these players we have right now to get that midfielder situation semi sorted before the window closes but everyone know's this

 

[Compton22]

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Doesn't really inspire any sort of confidence that Ronaldo can be effective in Guardiola's system but I've always thought that his system is not suited to an out and out no.9.

 

[Gehrman]

Sure, but same goes to Messi at Barca on recent years,:

Ronaldo at Juventus 18-21:
- 2 league titles
- 1 domestic cup
- 2 super cup

Messi at Barca 18-21:
- 1 league title
- 1 domestic cup
- 1 super cup

And when you consider Juventus pay Ronaldo around 1m per week in salary, whereas Barca pay Messi over 2m per week… it’s even worst.

Seria A has been a 1 horse race for almost a decade though.

 

[Schmeichel's Cartwheel]

Neville’s wankfest is going to be unbearable. Pep, Grealish, Foden & Ronaldo all together. Urgh.

 

[Mickeza]

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What does Rio know…

 

[Infra-red]

They are, although some of those things have been addressed or are being addressed currently. We should be shipping out to the first bidder on some of these players we have right now to get that midfielder situation semi sorted before the window closes but everyone know's this

Which of those things have been addressed or are being addressed currently?

 

[TrueRed79]

Maybe he doesn't want the hassles of divorce and going through half a dozen partners?

This forum is not the proper place to have this conversation. I shouldn't have brought it up. If you honestly think that's normal behaviour, fine. It's not.

 

[crossy1686]

I think it's been well documented on here over the years that that was mostly paper talk. No one involved has ever said there was anything to it though he did get a large pay rise after the speculation.

I watched something not long ago where Rooney himself said City were interested and offered him a contract. I think he said he wouldn't have joined them but it was a big offer.

 

[Infra-red]

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What does Rio know…

None of them know anything.

 

[Antisocial]

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City's mouthpiece not exactly showering him with love there

What a way to ruin your legacy with the largest fanbase in club football...

 

[crossy1686]

Which of those things have been addressed or are being addressed currently?

Old Trafford and the facilities are getting work done as we speak and the window is still open so there's still time to do business. I'm not saying there's no reason to be upset, just that we have to accept promises have somewhat been kept.

 

[JinnerJamie]

Doesn't really inspire any sort of confidence that Ronaldo can be effective in Guardiola's system but I've always thought that his system is not suited to an out and out no.9.

It doesn’t but if he allows Ronaldo to be Ronaldo, he’ll gobble up the majority of chances City create during matches. If he expects Ronaldo to press and pass it won’t work, he has to be given a free role up top.

 

[stevoc]

He'll get thw other half in the usual Man City way.

Exactly they meet someone in a Tesco car park once a week and get handed a brown envelope.

 

[JoaquinJoaquin]

Fantastic. Let’s stop the players playing again because we haven’t signed a CM and drew to Southampton. feck me sideways.

That isn't the reason though is it?

Not re-enforcing the side is Glazernomics at play. When you factor in we got Varane at a cut price deal, and Sancho is being paid in multiple year installments, we have barely spent that much this Summer in reality. So the investment we need isn't being made. We are watching a club 'legend' join our direct rivals while turning him down (according to reports). The Glazer's promise to be more direct with fans a few months ago has already been broken. If performances are poor aswell, would you be surprised if people are annoyed and choose to do that?

 

[Gary_Walsh_Nou_Camp_Hell]

Yeah but the love clearly isn't reciprocated, he's not arsed about the adoration from our fanbase. If he was even slightly concerned about it he'd never entertain going to a direct rival.

Even if the move falls through (which I doubt), I'll never have the same love for Ronaldo after this. Don't think he cares but his legacy is severely tarnished at United.

You don't have to love Ronaldo personally (or care about his legacy status) to fondly remember how amazing we were from 06/07 - 08/09.

 

[horsechoker]

The funny thing is United would never get this giddy about signing Aguero, I think a few City fans see this for what is it but others are jizzing themselves at the prospect of 37 year old Ronaldo.

 

[MasterCode]

I wish him well, there is no loyalty in football I love United but watching city will be fun, I can see Grealish and Ronaldo having a snog over a glass of wine.

Are you alright mate? What has our fanbase become... My goodness.

 

[Red Shorts]

Cant remember the last time I trawled a thread so regularly. I know what the outcome is likely to be but just want it over and done with.

 

[crossy1686]

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He never made a first team appearance, how is that the same thing???

 

[stevoc]

I watched something not long ago where Rooney himself said City were interested and offered him a contract. I think he said he wouldn't have joined them but it was a big offer.

Oh I have no doubt City were interested circa 2010 every club on the planet would have been interested. And Rooney was maybe happy to use the interest but he would have never went there at that time and United would have never sold him to City.

So all this ''he was on the verge of joining City'' stuff I always read on here is nonsense.

 

[Tom Van Persie]

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What does Rio know…

Wtf

 

[Wilt]

I wish him well, there is no loyalty in football I love United but watching city will be fun, I can see Grealish and Ronaldo having a snog over a glass of wine.

If that’s what turns you on…

 

[crossy1686]

Oh I have no doubt City were interested circa 2010 every club on the planet would have been interested. And Rooney was maybe happy to use the interest but he would have never went there at that time and United would have never sold him to City.

So all this ''he was on the verge of joining City'' stuff I always read on here is nonsense.

I take it with a pinch of salt, same as when Rio was on the 'verge' of joining Chelsea

 

[Oranges038]

What single man in his twenties pays a woman to be a surrogate?

A very rich and vain one, who doesn't want a woman hanging around after she's gone all fun house mirror.