2025 Papal conclave - Robert Prevost, Leo XIV - USA!

RoyH1 said:
With the way some conservative catholics are talking in the US, I wouldn't be surpised if we get another schism sooner rather than later. Specially if the next pope is again from the developing world and keeps on talking about poverty, humility and all those values they feel are secondary.
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You could be right. As someone who was raised Catholic and residing in the US t- I've been dismayed at best with the way our conservative branch here acts I would love nothing more than the Vatican showing that in times like these they can actually do the right thing. Francis like any pope wasn't perfect, but it sure was a lot more on the right track and in line with the modern world than what we had before. If religion truly should give people optimism and belief in good then perhaps it should actually take on that role. Regardless if someone believes in a higher being or not. Especially now.
 
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Jippy said:
From William Hill.

Next Pope to Replace Pope Francis:

Pietro Parolin15/8
Luis Antonio Tagle10/3
Matteo Zuppi5/1
Peter Turkson7/1
Peter Erdo8/1
Pierbattista Pizzaballa12/1
Angelo Scola18/1
Fridolin Ambongo Besungu20/1
Raymond Leo Burke20/1
Robert Sarah20/1
BAR25/1

Papal Name of Next Pope:

Francis6/4
Benedict3/1
John Paul5/1
Leo7/1
Urban10/1
BAR12/1
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If Zuppi wins, I hope he nominates Bungle and George for cardinals.
 
Redplane said:
Technically yes. Though a bit like a custom license plate - it needs to be PG or not too far out there. Traditionally they've picked names of saints, predecessors etc however.
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Cool, I thought there was a shortlist or something. Bible related, Pope Apocalipse The First would be a success.
 
maniak said:
Pizzaballa is like a random fm regen name.
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Sounds like a guy who played on the left wing for Cremonese, but after a long period with persistent ankle injuries went on a free transfer to Ascoli where he reignited his career as a disciplined holding midfielder.
 
Out of topic and no offence to Caf Catholics but the Roman Catholic Church truly is the Man United of Christianity. Hated, adored, never ignored!
 
Kopral Jono said:
Out of topic and no offence to Caf Catholics but the Roman Catholic Church truly is the Man United of Christianity. Hated, adored, never ignored!
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- largest followership despite decline
- prestige and commercial power coming from the past glory
- special relationship with the devil
Yes, that metaphor works
 
I asked AI for an edgy recruitment ad for Pope:


NOW HIRING: POPE
Location: Vatican City | Type: Eternal (or until further notice)


Are you ready to take your career all the way to heaven? The Holy See is looking for a qualified, charismatic, and vaguely glowing individual to fill the shoes (and the throne) of the Bishop of Rome. Think you have what it takes to lead 1.3 billion souls while wearing designer robes and riding in a bulletproof vehicle? Read on.


What You'll Do:
  • Speak on behalf of God (no pressure).
  • Bless large crowds without throwing your rotator cuff.
  • Keep the Swiss Guard on their toes.
  • Master the delicate art of saying a lot without really saying anything.
  • Avoid controversy while sitting atop centuries of it.
  • Occasionally wave from balconies like royalty during halftime.

Must-Have Qualifications:
  • Fluency in Latin, theology, and passive-aggressive diplomacy.
  • Proven track record of at least one miracle OR surviving a major scandal untarnished.
  • Ability to wear 20 lbs of gold-threaded robes and still look humble.
  • Comfortable with smoke signals (black = nope, white = hope).
  • Previous experience running a global faith-based megacorp preferred.

Bonus Points For:
  • Papal resting face.
  • Being carried around without motion sickness.
  • Not flinching during confession.
  • Turning water into wine or wine into better wine.

Perks:
  • Lifetime job security (until you decide to “retire” like it’s 2013).
  • Access to one of the best art collections in the world.
  • Your own country.
  • Eternal legacy, possibly sainthood, probably memes.


Apply today by divine inspiration or secret conclave vote.
Serious candidates only. Heretics need not apply.

 
Who are the best people to follow for gossip on the papal conclave?

I'm looking to find the clerical Romano for a "Here we go!" announcement before the white smoke emerges!

I see some have suggested going with an African pope but I have to ask who will provide cover while AFCON is on?
 
Some good news! Altar Mitty is putting himself forward. I mean he is not catholic, or any sort of ordained priest at all given the last church he conned chucked him out after his nazi saulte, but he has a plan, and hes not going to let the technicalities get in the way.

 
They should give it to Raymond van Barneveld. He looks like he hates life whenever I see him play darts these days, I'm sure it would give him a lift.

(consider asking if he's a catholic first though, I have no clue).
 
RoyH1 said:
Has Ralph Fiennes arrived in Rome yet?
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He's apparently staging a big reveal where he enters the Vatican Square in a yellow and white silk dressing gown. His gloves have "Peace" and "Unity" on them and, as he strips off to reveal his ripped physique, the announcer shouts into the microphone..."Let's get readyyyyyyyyyyyyy to renounce evil!"
 
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If the new Pope is gonna call himself Francis 2, I think lots are going to lose their shit.

Not a big fan of Vatican, but I think that Francis was as good as it gets for a Pope. Probably slightly misunderstood and didn’t care to explain his thought very well, but he looked to have been a genuinely nice man and eager to bring the Church in the 21st century.

A conservative will undo his good work, but with 80% of cardinals being chosen by him, it will probably be someone similar to him.
 
r/wallstreetbets - Pope Don. Just posted to his Truth Social
 
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