ITT: Poster who doesn’t want to waste emotion returns with emotional buzzfeed essay insulting fans

DancingPanda

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To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Mourinho's football. His approach to attacking football is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of left-wing politics most of his football will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also his nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The match-going fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of his tactics, to realise that they're not just brilliant- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Mourinho truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the genius of a hoofball or his existential catchphrase "R-E-S-P-E-C-T," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Fellaini enters the pitch. What fools.. how I pity them.

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Mourinho tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid
 
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Sayros

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To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Mourinho's football. His approach to attacking football is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of left-wing politics most of his football will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also his nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The match-going fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of his tactics, to realise that they're not just brilliant- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Mourinho truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the genius of a hoofball or his existential catchphrase "R-E-S-P-E-C-T," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Fellaini enters the pitch. What fools.. how I pity them.

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Mourinho tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid
I feel like I need to watch more Rick & Morty to fully appreciate Mourinho's football.
 

Tincanalley

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A bit hard to take anyone seriously who apparently is already boycotting United under Mourinho. Feels very entitled.

Ferguson was the fecking Godfather for feck’s sake. The one major difference between Fergie and Mou is Fergie made an inner circle of managers in the North West, blew a lot of smoke up the fans’ backsides and intimidated the media to always have a better perception.
Well said.
 

Tincanalley

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My fanhood to the club is unconditional though. I am putting the long term interests of the club first. Supporting this current project is just going to lead to further pain and disrepute for the club. I don’t get how just blindly supporting it is making me a better unconditional fan of the club.

Your point at the end is just a sheepish way of saying you ideally want him out but can’t bring yourself to want us to lose so he can go. For me with LVG and Moyes I too was in that mindset because I knew they were the wrong people in charge but they weren’t actively seeking to destroy the club so I was happy to support regardless and just wait out the inevitable demise.

With Jose, we’re looking at potential departures of Pogba, Martial, Bailly and even signings such as Lukaku and Sanchez are now beginning to attract criticism and before long his fans will say they too need to be sold as they’re unable to follow his instructions. Supporting his project would mean seeing these players leave, players who I think will benefit the club if under the right management. That’s why it is not a normal just support the manager through thick and thin situations and not one I can just wait out and continue to support. We’re in a precarious situation where we risk alienating players to the point they leave.
Let me just hover my finger over the button for a dramatic pause before putting you permanently on ignore, you indulgent prat.
 

Eyepopper

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Is toxic masculinity what happens when you don't wash your knob for a fortnight :confused:
 

ROFLUTION

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This is gold. Boycutting but still knows a lot of details about the current state of things :lol:
 

Eyepopper

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I think he should hold a one man peaceful protest at OT until Mourinhos sacked.

Stood outside, arms aloft, clutching a green & gold scarf, and wearing full 99 replica kit .
 

rotherham_red

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I think he should hold a one man peaceful protest at OT until Mourinhos sacked.

Stood outside, arms aloft, clutching a green & gold scarf, and wearing full 99 replica kit .
He needs to be at OT for that, he's doing a Geoffrey don't you know :houllier:
 

Eyepopper

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He needs to be at OT for that, he's doing a Geoffrey don't you know :houllier:
Good point.

Do it at Anfield or the Ethihad maybe, that way he could, neutrally, enjoy the beautiful football Liverpool or City are playing.
 

JohnnyKills

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Sevilla - aftermath..

Sevilla was the original breaking point for a select few. Not necessarily the result or the performance but the manner in which the manager handled the aftermath. Since that result the faith in the manager being able to put the clubs needs first over his own need for self-glorification disintegrated. It also exposed the fact that there was a large segment of our fans who seemed utterly oblivious and complicit with the manager absolving himself of any blame. Permitting him to not only throw his own men in the line of fire but tarnishing the fabric of the club with unjustified digs about our status amongst the elite.









We are often of the opinion that no player is bigger than the club yet suddenly it seemed more than okay with the manager placing himself above the status of the club. Whereas Sir Alex always saw himself as a servant or guardian of the club, with the odd hubris induced slip up (JP MacManus affair).. the current manager revealed just how much he really values this job (a mere notch in his much garlanded belt).

Boycott and fascism...

Having decided to boycott United for the remainder of Jose’s tenure (not even Moyes or LVG had driven me to this) it was still hurtful to see that preseason was a car crash of epic proportions in terms of man management and press relations. Mourinho used the press as a medium to criticise players (both first team and youth), lash out at the board (contrast this with Pochettino who sang from the same hymn sheet as Levy begrudgingly but for the harmony of the club - see also Fergie during the value years) and bitterly attack rivals (not from a position of strength but instead a display of weakness). This incredibly toxic environment, all of the managers making has bled into the predicament we now find ourselves in.

Ever since that Sevilla game, the stench of toxic narcissistic masculinity began to increasingly permeate through the fanbase, making it a hostile and unbearable place to be a part of. Funnily enough the same individuals who tended to frequent the 'is the United forum safe to enter thread' are the same types who are making the football forums an inhospitable place to visit at the moment. Now it seems to have reached its zenith.

Now what truly upsets me and has driven me to write this post is that we not just have a self absorbed tyrant who shits on the club and his players at every given opportunity (which he didn’t used to do as publicly Pre 2010) we currently have a very toxic fan base too who I feel will continue to drag this club back to the dark ages unless they reform and move with the times. Redcafe’s football forums for example have become a very backwards bitter place, in stark contrast to the current events forums. It’s weird to describe football in terms of left wing v right wing type of tactics/politics but if Barcelona tend to represent the extreme left in terms of playing philosophy (flair/possession/proactiveness of playing style) then United traditionally have always been a left wing team, as in built to dominate the game and assert their identity on a game albeit occasionally grinding out results against someone technically or tactically more advanced. If we look at Europe as whole, majority of the leading sides are left wing and exceptions to the rule i.e. Atletico or Juventus are also high pressing or possession heavy sides, which incorporate liberal forward thinking tactical aspects into their game despite being more pragmatic and right wing-ish than their peers (as in they are more balanced in terms of philsophy compared to extreme attack). United currently are the most right wing side top team in the game, almost fascist like in terms of their approach and whilst that horrifies most united fans and is alienating young fans of the future .. there is a large segment of fans who couldn’t be happier about this transformation.

Generational conflict - Warriors and Snowflakes

Fans from 50s/ 60s generally seemed to have a more romantic ideal of what our club should be about and better understand the values and appreciate just how important entertainment and flair was in establishing the legacy of this club. They were also brought up in an era of gentler rivalries. I think fans brought up watching the game during the 80s probably form a strong component of the the self-serving jingoistic glory hunting segment (top rednecks) we have now. Bitter and twisted by our failures in the 80s and ego-fuelled by our dominance in the 90s, they love nothing better than boasting how their loyalty to a gaffer yielded an era of unprecedented success, how their ‘win at all costs’ mentality makes them more masculine and truer fans and that those fans who dare to criticise managers or expect to enjoy a game of football are a group of flighty, spoilt, tree hugging homosexuals. We see regular attacks on soft millenials and ‘lack of leadership’ attributes in modern young men, despite the fact that football will always be a young man's game and therefore all clubs and their fans have to adapt with every new generation of players and their respective quirks and mentalities rather than the players having to adapt to the mindsets of fans born in yesteryear, brought up in different circumstances. Despite the academies being more competitive than ever before, more media scrutiny than ever before, more emphasis on success than ever before, more unrelenting commitment to fitness and the fickle nature of hero to zero in the modern game - players these days are apparently snowflakes with zero mental fortitude. And despite player rebellions or lack of professionalism being a strong feature throughout the history of the game by players greater and more successful than our current set (Maradona, Cantona, Keano etc), it seems only this generation of players and particularly those who feature for United in our current squad are the only culprits. The fact that the world's greatest or second greatest player or the world's greatest centre-back practically rebelled against our manager despite being renowned as two of the most professional players of all time, barely merits recognition.

We see our manager using this agenda to justify his recent lack of results .. ‘players these days are too soft to respond to my bollockings’. Fergie possessed foresight and was able to understand this is just societal evolution and in a leadership role one has to adapt one's own generational mindset in order to successfully appeal to the hearts and minds of the future generations. With the growing rise of 'feminism', greater mixing of genders in general, the breakdown of nuclear families, it is only normal that the makeup of the modern man is changing. What seems 'naff' to an older male, is 'cool' for someone of a younger generation.. similarly, how you respond to various types of motivational or disciplinary methods, or the way you view the game also can vary from generation to generation. We live in a post Barca world of football, that Pep side of 2008-12 revolutionised the game in a global sense and it is pragmatic to assume, that the new generations coming through will be more receptive to that style of football than they will be to a less stylish backs to the wall approach. What that side did popularise was pressing, working at a high intensity.. so working hard and covering distances is trendy, and it is carried out by the snowflake generation? so much for being lazy and unwilling to put in the hard yards. Even someone like Simeone, incorporates aspects of that revolution into his system (high press in packs, fast one-touch possession play, being proactive tactically).

The Dirty Word.. 'CXXXching'

The other recent phenomena that has hit home just how dangerous this segment of the fan base has become is that the word ‘coaching’ has become a dirty word. Anyone who dare praise the ‘coaching’ of the likes of Pep or Klopp is a hipster. Apparently it is sheer fortune that they constantly target the right players and benefit from having the right scouting processes in place to enable them to do that. If we had Salah managed by Jose we would win the title.. if only we signed Mané or Lucas to solve our wide issues. Lukaku is a donkey who misses chances and puts our beloved manager under pressure despite the fact he has maybe 1-2 clear cut chances a game (if you watch Aguero and Kane closely, you’ll see they miss shitloads but it gets ignored as they get enough chances to put it right in the same game). Anyone that fails to perform is shit, doesn’t deserve to be here, has a terrible attitude or is out of their depth despite Klopp managing to get the likes of Henderson/Milner midfields into champions league finals and giving decent account of themselves against European royalty (not to mention regularly controlling games week in week out home or away).

The thought of someone ‘coaching’ us out of this situation by improving our players technical ability, tactical awareness and mentalities through clever drills or an arm around the shoulder (giving them confidence) seems perverse and soft. Why can’t these nancies just be professional and be men on the pitch, fighting for every cause like we used to in the nineties or like our macho alcoholic inflicted bunch from the 80s etc. Seemingly oblivious to the fact that sides like City and Liverpool with physically smaller players or less athletic players than us, using systematic pressing on a consistent basis to induce fear into the opposition and give them an aura of aggressiveness. Oblivious to the fact these teams are hunting in packs rather than relying on the winning of individual physical battles. What is often forgotten is how soft young modern men can be moulded by the likes of Pep or Klopp into being aggressive ball winners. They don’t buy ready made aggressive ball winners with bundles of work rate.. they coach that into players (See Aguero, KDB, Sterling or Wijnaldum, Ox - a kid who was written off and tactically lost under Wenger).

Similarly on a ball playing front, these managers don’t just buy ball-playing defenders and let them get on with it, they give them the confidence to make mistakes in possession when bringing it out and give them a precise blueprint in terms of how to play out from the back and don’t just completely leave it in the hands of the players own decision making. This ensures autonomous playing out from the back when under extreme pressure and minimises errors. Contrary to belief, the likes of Van Dijk, Kompany, Stones.. make many errors on the ball, they're not perfect but they know their managers won't destroy them if they err when trying to be proactive from the back (within reason) and the younger two of that trio will grow to become more reliable at doing so once it becomes ingrained within them. Compare that to the development of Bailly and Lindelof. Bailly stormed onto the scene with bags of confidence, capable of showing high technical skills with the ball albeit an inconsistent passer and Lindelof for all his defensive flaws, seems a natural baller but they both just have not progressed at all with regards to bringing it out from the back. Neither has De Gea progressed whatsoever in terms of passing it out, his kicking if anything is worse than pre LVG.

Masterful Manipulation of the Press #fakenews

Furthermore this vendetta against the press from the manager (who shares unnecessary information with them on a regular basis when it suits his agenda as you can see from the quotes above) and how it gets all the top Red-necks wet with excitement is sickening.



It’s not befitting of this club and is an absolute disgrace. Yet Mou's Mourons and Red-necks champion this constant spew of vitriol and compare it to Fergie's handling of the press. We saw this at Chelsea and Madrid, where Mourinho successfully divided fans via the media when coming to the end of his reign, with his army of fans becoming growingly poisonous, before eventually realising letting him go was the right decision as he had overstayed his welcome. Fergie was consistent in his approach to the press, he was always difficult with them and never trusted them. He would be relatively professional but he rarely if ever used the press as a tool to get his way and attack targets of his ire especially his own players or the senior management. I’m sure there are exceptions to the rule but it wasn’t his modus operandi. Jose is too friendly with the media and exploits the press to soothe his own ego or feed his agenda and then when it suits him, he plays the ‘fake news’ card and paints them as the enemy. Just like Trump prostituting himself on social media, constantly lying about this and that and then having the audacity to accuse others of fake news and manipulating the public. Both these narcissists are master manipulators and just like republican politicians are accomplices who facilitate this horrific practice we have our own brand of top Red-neck Mourons who do exactly the same.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

For this club to progress our fans need to drop this charade and championing this cnut of a manager. Learn to appreciate the history of the club as well as being more aware of the wider trends in the game in general. You’ll note that the club has at its best always been ahead of its time and its values are timeless. In fact they align well to the most successful clubs of modern times. Many clubs imitate or share the practices of what made United great.. the fast flowing football currently being enjoyed at Anfield is reminiscent of Fergie's United. At City and Liverpool, despite big signings, you see them attack even when lesser players are having to be fielded.. see Delph, Milner, Hendo, Lovren to name but a few. Even when Liverpool lose Coutinho - a genuine world class talent and the heartbeat of their playing style - their philosophy, their tactics has remained consistent. We ourselves have spent the past 6 years running away from our past and yes Woodward is complicit in this too but as fans, we have the final say. If we protest, or make a stand - shit inevitably gets done. Sticking your head in the sand and shouting 'fake news' will not make this situation better. Nor does flying a plane with a banner calling for more money to spent. If it called for better football and RESPECT for the clubs values, traditions, we might actually start getting back on the path to glory.
As someone who works in the media, take it from me: you write well and should keep at it, but that's way too long!
 

Brwned

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My fanhood to the club is unconditional though. I am putting the long term interests of the club first. Supporting this current project is just going to lead to further pain and disrepute for the club.
Dude, your support of the club has no influence on its well-being. Even viewed through the lens of toxic masculinity and the third Reich, your logic falls apart there - your decision not to support the team doesn't prevent it from crumbling, it doesn't impact its long-term interests. Your moral stance has no value. It just provides an opportunity for you to give yourself a pat on the back to help get over the emotional torment of watching "your" football team play bad football. That's all this is, really. You're just dressing up your dissatisfaction with boring football with a tale of morality and politics that makes you feel better about yourself. You know it too.

Correct. I just want the Manchester United I grew up with back.

Pro football is ultimately from the fans perspective about entertainment. They lift the trophies at the end of the day and keep the medals.. we don't.
What you want is the constant highs of supporting the best team around. Everything else is just a fun pretence. And we thank you for it.
 

ypsipeos

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As someone who works in the media, take it from me: you write well and should keep at it, but that's way too long!
As someone who reads books and not only journalists, take it from me: he writes bshit... pseudo-philosophical narrative, full of misconceptions and false comparisons. The only title here is leap(s) of logic. Typical example of journalism and modern social studies, as if one Zizek is not enough.
 

rotherham_red

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Dude, your support of the club has no influence on its well-being. Even viewed through the lens of toxic masculinity and the third Reich, your logic falls apart there - your decision not to support the team doesn't prevent it from crumbling, it doesn't impact its long-term interests. Your moral stance has no value. It just provides an opportunity for you to give yourself a pat on the back to help get over the emotional torment of watching "your" football team play bad football. That's all this is, really. You're just dressing up your dissatisfaction with boring football with a tale of morality and politics that makes you feel better about yourself. You know it too.



What you want is the constant highs of supporting the best team around. Everything else is just a fun pretence. And we thank you for it.
Absolutely spot on.
 

OverratedOpinion

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As someone who reads books and not only journalists, take it from me: he writes bshit... pseudo-philosophical narrative, full of misconceptions and false comparisons. The only title here is leap(s) of logic. Typical example of journalism and modern social studies, as if one Zizek is not enough.
It wasn't the most concise thing I've ever read either.
 

JohnnyKills

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As someone who reads books and not only journalists, take it from me: he writes bshit... pseudo-philosophical narrative, full of misconceptions and false comparisons. The only title here is leap(s) of logic. Typical example of journalism and modern social studies, as if one Zizek is not enough.
Well done on the reading books thing. Maybe you should read the new self-help book 'How not to be an ass clown on the internet.'
 

TheReligion

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Dude, your support of the club has no influence on its well-being. Even viewed through the lens of toxic masculinity and the third Reich, your logic falls apart there - your decision not to support the team doesn't prevent it from crumbling, it doesn't impact its long-term interests. Your moral stance has no value. It just provides an opportunity for you to give yourself a pat on the back to help get over the emotional torment of watching "your" football team play bad football. That's all this is, really. You're just dressing up your dissatisfaction with boring football with a tale of morality and politics that makes you feel better about yourself. You know it too.



What you want is the constant highs of supporting the best team around. Everything else is just a fun pretence. And we thank you for it.
Good post
 

OverratedOpinion

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I need you to mansplain what "sitting on the fence" means.
Well basically there is a giant fence. On one side you have Klopp and Pep sitting peacefully in a beautiful garden singing Kumbaya and making freindship bracelets, then on the other side you have Mourinho shooting small orphans with a pellet gun whilst he laughs like a maniacal mad man.

You best be on the right side of history, that's all I'm saying.
 

tedketterman

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Well basically there is a giant fence. On one side you have Klopp and Pep sitting peacefully in a beautiful garden singing Kumbaya and making freindship bracelets, then on the other side you have Mourinho shooting small orphans with a pellet gun whilst he laughs like a maniacal mad man.

You best be on the right side of history, that's all I'm saying.
Ah, now the Third Reich thing makes total sense, thanks.

It should be 'mad person' not 'mad man'. Take your patriarchy elsewhere, mister!


Dang it.
 

Fortitude

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To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Mourinho's football. His approach to attacking football is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of left-wing politics most of his football will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also his nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The match-going fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of his tactics, to realise that they're not just brilliant- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Mourinho truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the genius of a hoofball or his existential catchphrase "R-E-S-P-E-C-T," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Fellaini enters the pitch. What fools.. how I pity them.

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Mourinho tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid
:lol:
 

OverratedOpinion

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I think moving forward we should stop referring to Jose's style of play as "parking the bus" and replace it with the much more fitting "building a wall".
 

ypsipeos

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Well done on the reading books thing. Maybe you should read the new self-help book 'How not to be an ass clown on the internet.'
Thank you for your kind words and your suggestion. You are telling me this book helped you?
Anyway, you know his writing is "trying to be something".
 

Canagel

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Not that bad a summary considering you're taking the piss.

Yes it is melodramatic, purposefully so to spark a debate about how complicit the fans are in causing our current predicament. Perhaps went a bit far with certain analogies/buzzwords but so be it. Forget Ed, forget Jose.. we have dinosaurs within our own fan base, and a certain segment who seem to think 'winning at all costs' is a effective philosophy at the expense of playing good football. They've gotten into the mindset that if we now dare to play good football, we are giving in to the 'good football' brigade and 'hipsters'. It is ridiculous, as 8 times out of 10 a winning side, is well-drilled and tends to play good football. Not to mention they have a very 'player-centred' approach to criticism as in whenever we play poorly - it is players at fault, and are oblivious to the effects of good coaching. Furthermore it seems unforgivable to give a player a run of games and let them play through bad patches of form, or give them confidence.. instead all of them should have incredibly thick skins and handle being arbitrarily dropped, even though certain favorites never get dropped when they're just as ineffective.
All facts.