Get 'im Dwayne!
Gaming The Europa Universalis 4 Experiment III
- Thread starter Phil Jones Face
- Start date
You underestimate the power of gold. 50 dogecoins to the first person to bring me Dwayne's head
*patiently waiting for the Brandenbores to do anything noteworthy at all*
Love you forever, honest.
Sounds wolfy.
Seems like I'm growing, how's my relations with the Ottomans @Phil Jones Face
That's Holy Roman Emperor Dwayne's head to you, merchant.
You're growing quite nicely. If you get to absorb Lithuania you'll be quite a force!
The Ottomans hate you. Just not as much as they hate Muscovy, Venice or Austria. Curiously, the only "western" country they do like is nimic's.
Prussia is such a bad ass country if you get to form it. Look on the bright side, at least you're not Shakesy.
You're allied to P-Nut currently, so nobody dares attack you. On the flip side.. everybody around you is in the HRE. So to gain any land you have to go through Dr. Dwayne. Who has 3x your troops.
It's normal. I'm not running ironman with the amount of saves I'm having to take.@Phil Jones Face . You run this on normal or hard? Or ironman mode?
If it is on normal, i can see map looking soon mostly blue and green.
A DIET HAS BEEN CALLED!!
No, Shakesy hasn't broken into the court pantry again. An Imperial Diet!
But more on that later..
@MadDogg continues the English conquest of Ireland, this time declaring war on Clanricade. They were allied to Scotland, who dutifully answered the call to arms and invaded the English possessions in Ireland. MadDogg allowed the Scots to pillage Ireland, while he sieged down the lowlands. The classic ol' English switcheroo.
It was a very one sided affair. The English had total naval supremacy and once the Scottish army decided they were to return home, they were caught out in the middle of the Irish sea and sent to the bottom. Scotland surrendered soon after, ceding much land. MadDogg is quickly reversing his earlier setbacks although still has the thorny issue of Northumberland (who are allied to France) to deal with. France is also still allied to Scotland. Basically, maniak doesn't like MadDogg.
In one of the saddest and most one sided wars so far, @AnotherLondonManc declared war on @SilentWitness. The odds were heavily stacked against SilentWitness from the onset, with Venice boasting 25k troops to Milan's14k. The Venetians marched on Milano directly, while the Milanese avoided battle and marched towards Ravenna. However, while marching through Papal lands, the Venetian's sneakily called on their ally @nimic to join them in the war vs Milan. SilentWitness narrowly avoided the Neapolitan troops who were attempting a pincer movement and in a bid of desperation, marched directly for nimic's capital, hoping to knock him out of the war. But he was cornered. Once AnotherLondonManc sieged down Milano, he raced south and beat then destroyed the sieging Milanese army in its entirety.
The peace deal was especially harsh and left Milan with only two provinces.
@Withnail declared war on the Golden Horde, taking great swathes of land. @Organic Potatoes did Organic Potatoes things™ and declared war on the Golden Horde too, because he's never late to a gangbang. They were gobbled up between the two great powers in no time.
And now, onto the main event.
THE BURGUNDIAN SUCCESSION CRISIS
Okay. Quite a lot to unpack here. The Duke of Burgundy died without an eligible male heir to succeed him, provoking a succession crisis. Various nobles were invited to PSV's court to prostrate themselves before him and make a claim to his throne. maniak brought with him the finest French wine and a dulcet Thierry Henry tone. The Cat tried to seduce @PSV, proposing a threesome with his cousin RedSky. Stobzilla literally threw a purse full of gold coins at the regent. Shakesy staggered in, swinging around a bottle of piss. We don't know why, he wasn't even invited and was promptly escorted off the premises. But above all, PSV was flattered and won over by @Dr. Dwayne's dick swinging and chiselled inbred Habsburg jaw. Burgundy chose to form a personal union with Austria. The lowlands immediately came under Burgundy's control. As compensation, maniak received Nevers. The balance of power had heavily shifted in Europe now.
maniak was engraged at the Austrian expansion on his doorstep. He lobbied the Electors, threatening an immediate war if the situation wasn't remedied. An urgent Imperial diet was called and the princes of the HRE gathered. Each member had a vote on 3 possible outcomes.
1) Austria keeps the union, with France threatening war
2) Cede every Burgundian province in the French region to France, while Austria retains the rest
3) Austria will release Burgundy and Burgundy will release the lowlands as HRE princes
22 princes (including Stobzilla) voted to take the fight to maniak and keep PSV in union with Austria, but 30 princes including hobbers and Dr. Dwayne (?!) pussied out of a confrontation and they won the vote. Burgundy was released as an independent nation from Austria, albeit much reduced in size. The lowlands were released from Burgundian control as independent HRE princes. France kept Nevers.
In other news:
No, Shakesy hasn't broken into the court pantry again. An Imperial Diet!
But more on that later..
@MadDogg continues the English conquest of Ireland, this time declaring war on Clanricade. They were allied to Scotland, who dutifully answered the call to arms and invaded the English possessions in Ireland. MadDogg allowed the Scots to pillage Ireland, while he sieged down the lowlands. The classic ol' English switcheroo.
It was a very one sided affair. The English had total naval supremacy and once the Scottish army decided they were to return home, they were caught out in the middle of the Irish sea and sent to the bottom. Scotland surrendered soon after, ceding much land. MadDogg is quickly reversing his earlier setbacks although still has the thorny issue of Northumberland (who are allied to France) to deal with. France is also still allied to Scotland. Basically, maniak doesn't like MadDogg.
In one of the saddest and most one sided wars so far, @AnotherLondonManc declared war on @SilentWitness. The odds were heavily stacked against SilentWitness from the onset, with Venice boasting 25k troops to Milan's14k. The Venetians marched on Milano directly, while the Milanese avoided battle and marched towards Ravenna. However, while marching through Papal lands, the Venetian's sneakily called on their ally @nimic to join them in the war vs Milan. SilentWitness narrowly avoided the Neapolitan troops who were attempting a pincer movement and in a bid of desperation, marched directly for nimic's capital, hoping to knock him out of the war. But he was cornered. Once AnotherLondonManc sieged down Milano, he raced south and beat then destroyed the sieging Milanese army in its entirety.
The peace deal was especially harsh and left Milan with only two provinces.
@Withnail declared war on the Golden Horde, taking great swathes of land. @Organic Potatoes did Organic Potatoes things™ and declared war on the Golden Horde too, because he's never late to a gangbang. They were gobbled up between the two great powers in no time.
And now, onto the main event.
THE BURGUNDIAN SUCCESSION CRISIS
Okay. Quite a lot to unpack here. The Duke of Burgundy died without an eligible male heir to succeed him, provoking a succession crisis. Various nobles were invited to PSV's court to prostrate themselves before him and make a claim to his throne. maniak brought with him the finest French wine and a dulcet Thierry Henry tone. The Cat tried to seduce @PSV, proposing a threesome with his cousin RedSky. Stobzilla literally threw a purse full of gold coins at the regent. Shakesy staggered in, swinging around a bottle of piss. We don't know why, he wasn't even invited and was promptly escorted off the premises. But above all, PSV was flattered and won over by @Dr. Dwayne's dick swinging and chiselled inbred Habsburg jaw. Burgundy chose to form a personal union with Austria. The lowlands immediately came under Burgundy's control. As compensation, maniak received Nevers. The balance of power had heavily shifted in Europe now.
maniak was engraged at the Austrian expansion on his doorstep. He lobbied the Electors, threatening an immediate war if the situation wasn't remedied. An urgent Imperial diet was called and the princes of the HRE gathered. Each member had a vote on 3 possible outcomes.
1) Austria keeps the union, with France threatening war
2) Cede every Burgundian province in the French region to France, while Austria retains the rest
3) Austria will release Burgundy and Burgundy will release the lowlands as HRE princes
22 princes (including Stobzilla) voted to take the fight to maniak and keep PSV in union with Austria, but 30 princes including hobbers and Dr. Dwayne (?!) pussied out of a confrontation and they won the vote. Burgundy was released as an independent nation from Austria, albeit much reduced in size. The lowlands were released from Burgundian control as independent HRE princes. France kept Nevers.
In other news:
- Dr. Dwayne allied Shakesy. But then Dr. Dwayne inherited Burgundy (above) and decided Shakesy wasn't worth allying after all, breaking the alliance several months later. But then the Imperial diet was called and they decided Dr. Dwayne had to release Burgundy. So Dr. Dwayne had ended his alliance with Shakesy for nothing. Shakesy got royally fecked over. Again. Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys.
- Organic Potatoes annexed Beloozero diplomatically
- Organic Potatoes allied its former enemy, the one province Teutonic Order, who controls Konigsberg. Because it pisses off P-Nut.
- WI_Red declared war on Yemen. If I speak I'm in big trouble.
- Withnail has Crimea as a vassal
Bugrit *hic* millennium hand and shrimp
Damnit, never got around to trademarking that before someone else did.
No Scotland and then gives me these losers.
Have you changed your tune yet?
@The Cat and @RedSky, not content with regaining the Iberian peninsula, decided another foray into north Africa was needed and declared war on Morocco, who called Tunis, Fezzan and Touggourt in as its allies. As a feck you, nimic started sending regular gold to Morocco to aid them vs the Spaniards, while harms sent gold to his Spanish brothers. This war took a similar course to the last war vs Morocco. The Cat and RedSky invaded north Africa, their 30k stack was beaten back twice by Morocco and its allies and the Spaniard's panicked.
If there's something strange in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? @harms busters!
With Portuguese called to arms and their troops pouring over the strait, the tide quickly turned.
And this time, the Spaniards rewarded their Portuguese brother with some land for his efforts.
Back in the HRE, Emperor Dr. Dwayne died of heartbreak over the Burgundian inheritance. While he was barely scraping the votes with old the old Emperor, everybody seems to love the new, fresh faced charismatic Archduke of Austria. Dr. Dwayne was voted to replace himself unaminously by the electors and he passed another HRE reform.
BIG BRAIN SHAKESY ALERT
We might mock the drunkard for his inaction and sloth reactions to European events, but he's really pulled the rabbit out of the hat this time. While everybody thought he was playing draughts, our boy was playing 4D chess. You might recall that while @Shakesy was allied to the one province Mantua, he was practically begging the European elites for a big ally to protect him. @maniak tired of his endless crying, offered him an French alliance to placate Hungary tears. They signed a royal marriage to cement their ties.
After several beddings and many years later, the French king has passed without an heir. This has sparked a succession crisis. The learned French scholars have poured over the genealogical trees to find out who is maniak's closest living heir and rightful claimant to the throne. And yes, you've guessed it right. His closest living relative and heir to the strongest kingdom in western Europe is.. the Great Shakesy himself. He has literally shagged his way to power. maniak was now under a personal union with Shakesy.
With The Cat, RedSky and harms busy in north Africa and Dr. Dwayne roleplaying as the lion from the wizard of Oz, the only nearby power willing or able to stand up was the English king, @MadDogg. And the odds were long from the outset. The Franco-Hungarians boasted 68k infantry and 21k cavalry to the English 22k/13k, while the English had naval supremacy, it couldn't always be relied on (see: KirkDuyt war of independence) to protect the British Isles.
The English had naval supremacy and won some important fleet actions. MadDogg employed his famed ol' switcheroo tactic. Rather than fight the French head first, he marched onto Budapest. Curiously, the French didn't seem that interested in defending their "overlord" Shakesy, so he was left to fend off the English largely alone on the continent, while the French sieged down Calais.
Unfortunately for MadDogg, the war goal wasn't Budapest, but it was Paris. He was going in the wrong direction. Shakesy "allowed" the English to siege down much of Hungary before he committed to battle, winning decisively in Pest and utterly destroyed the English expeditionary force. MadDogg tried another naval landing in Normandy with 12k troops, but unfortunately 47k Frenchmen were waiting for him. You do the maths.
A few years later, MadDogg was forced to tap out. He released some Scottish provinces and the Great Shakesy kept his vassal maniak.
Down in the Med, trouble loomed. @Withnail was deeply unhappy with @WI_Red after the Mamluks early foray into Anatolia, seizing Adana. The Mamluks pushed their luck further by allying Karaman, again in the Ottoman de jure. The Ottomans wouldn't take these provocations any longer and declared war.
With the Turks and their allies pitting 49k infantry and 15k cavalry vs the Mamluks 28k/5k, it was very lop sided. There were only two decisive land engagements, both which the Mamluks lost.
After that point the Turks rushed down the Egyptian forts and WI_Red tapped out, with a lot of his Arabian gains reversed, but ceded relatively little territory to the Ottomans. The Mamluks lost 52k dead in battle and 200 to attrition. The Ottomans lost 49k dead in battle and 20k to attrition.
And finally, while this was all ongoing @P-Nut declared war on the Teutonic Order and called in his ally @hobbers . Apologies didn't have an opportunity to really follow this while the Hungarian/Franco-English war and Mamluk-Ottoman wars were ongoing. It looks like Organic Potatoes droppd the Teuton alliance, so wasn't called into it, but @KirkDuyt was allied to the Teutons and decided to fight the Poles/Brandenburgians. hobbers sieged down Mecklenburg while Poland focused on the the Finnish territories. Swedish had naval supremacy but couldn't stop the allies walking around the Baltic.
hobbers gained Mecklenburg in the war. KirkDuyt got off very light. Despite being 1/3 sieged down, he lost no provinces in the war. P-Nut annexed the Teutons.
Oh, and no sooner than P-Nut had finished the war with KirkDuyt, @Organic Potatoes decided to declared war on KirkDuyt too. Because this is what he does. With the battered Swedes only having 19k troops remaining and the Muscovites bragging 61k, it was a foregone conclusion. Then Andycoleno9 decided he wanted a piece of the Swedish pie and declared war on them also. KirkDuyt went bankrupt and was overrun by the Muscovites and Danes.
In other news:
If there's something strange in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? @harms busters!
With Portuguese called to arms and their troops pouring over the strait, the tide quickly turned.
And this time, the Spaniards rewarded their Portuguese brother with some land for his efforts.
Back in the HRE, Emperor Dr. Dwayne died of heartbreak over the Burgundian inheritance. While he was barely scraping the votes with old the old Emperor, everybody seems to love the new, fresh faced charismatic Archduke of Austria. Dr. Dwayne was voted to replace himself unaminously by the electors and he passed another HRE reform.
BIG BRAIN SHAKESY ALERT
We might mock the drunkard for his inaction and sloth reactions to European events, but he's really pulled the rabbit out of the hat this time. While everybody thought he was playing draughts, our boy was playing 4D chess. You might recall that while @Shakesy was allied to the one province Mantua, he was practically begging the European elites for a big ally to protect him. @maniak tired of his endless crying, offered him an French alliance to placate Hungary tears. They signed a royal marriage to cement their ties.
After several beddings and many years later, the French king has passed without an heir. This has sparked a succession crisis. The learned French scholars have poured over the genealogical trees to find out who is maniak's closest living heir and rightful claimant to the throne. And yes, you've guessed it right. His closest living relative and heir to the strongest kingdom in western Europe is.. the Great Shakesy himself. He has literally shagged his way to power. maniak was now under a personal union with Shakesy.
With The Cat, RedSky and harms busy in north Africa and Dr. Dwayne roleplaying as the lion from the wizard of Oz, the only nearby power willing or able to stand up was the English king, @MadDogg. And the odds were long from the outset. The Franco-Hungarians boasted 68k infantry and 21k cavalry to the English 22k/13k, while the English had naval supremacy, it couldn't always be relied on (see: KirkDuyt war of independence) to protect the British Isles.
The English had naval supremacy and won some important fleet actions. MadDogg employed his famed ol' switcheroo tactic. Rather than fight the French head first, he marched onto Budapest. Curiously, the French didn't seem that interested in defending their "overlord" Shakesy, so he was left to fend off the English largely alone on the continent, while the French sieged down Calais.
Unfortunately for MadDogg, the war goal wasn't Budapest, but it was Paris. He was going in the wrong direction. Shakesy "allowed" the English to siege down much of Hungary before he committed to battle, winning decisively in Pest and utterly destroyed the English expeditionary force. MadDogg tried another naval landing in Normandy with 12k troops, but unfortunately 47k Frenchmen were waiting for him. You do the maths.
A few years later, MadDogg was forced to tap out. He released some Scottish provinces and the Great Shakesy kept his vassal maniak.
Down in the Med, trouble loomed. @Withnail was deeply unhappy with @WI_Red after the Mamluks early foray into Anatolia, seizing Adana. The Mamluks pushed their luck further by allying Karaman, again in the Ottoman de jure. The Ottomans wouldn't take these provocations any longer and declared war.
With the Turks and their allies pitting 49k infantry and 15k cavalry vs the Mamluks 28k/5k, it was very lop sided. There were only two decisive land engagements, both which the Mamluks lost.
After that point the Turks rushed down the Egyptian forts and WI_Red tapped out, with a lot of his Arabian gains reversed, but ceded relatively little territory to the Ottomans. The Mamluks lost 52k dead in battle and 200 to attrition. The Ottomans lost 49k dead in battle and 20k to attrition.
And finally, while this was all ongoing @P-Nut declared war on the Teutonic Order and called in his ally @hobbers . Apologies didn't have an opportunity to really follow this while the Hungarian/Franco-English war and Mamluk-Ottoman wars were ongoing. It looks like Organic Potatoes droppd the Teuton alliance, so wasn't called into it, but @KirkDuyt was allied to the Teutons and decided to fight the Poles/Brandenburgians. hobbers sieged down Mecklenburg while Poland focused on the the Finnish territories. Swedish had naval supremacy but couldn't stop the allies walking around the Baltic.
hobbers gained Mecklenburg in the war. KirkDuyt got off very light. Despite being 1/3 sieged down, he lost no provinces in the war. P-Nut annexed the Teutons.
Oh, and no sooner than P-Nut had finished the war with KirkDuyt, @Organic Potatoes decided to declared war on KirkDuyt too. Because this is what he does. With the battered Swedes only having 19k troops remaining and the Muscovites bragging 61k, it was a foregone conclusion. Then Andycoleno9 decided he wanted a piece of the Swedish pie and declared war on them also. KirkDuyt went bankrupt and was overrun by the Muscovites and Danes.
In other news:
- The narrator is fecked. He can't keep up with all these simultaneous major wars!
- AnotherLondonManc is supporting maniak's independence
- The Palatinate became a junior partner of Andycoleno9 in a succession crisis. Andycoleno9 ended up taking 3 provinces in the middle of Germany, almost bordering Austria.
- Little one province Parma ended up being declared war on simultaneously in 3 wars by Shakesy/maniak, AnotherLondonManc and SilentWitness. None of them gained Parma. It went to Mantua, Shakesy's best friend.
- The Cat has begun colonising Brazil
- MadDogg has begun colonising South Africa
- harms has begun colonising the Caribbean
- Stobzilla made Saxony a vassal diplomatically
- WI_Red annexed Hejaz diplomatically, took a lot of Yemen and declared war on the regional power Ethiopia
- maniak annexed Armagnac and Nevers diplomatically
- Shakesy, always one step behind everybody else, allied Genoa, who had recently lost a war vs the Ottomans
- The Pope excommunicated AnotherLondonManc for the 4th time. Then a 5th time. And a 6th time. He is the only human to have excommunicated so far
- Organic Potatoes allied Shakesy and Dr. Dwayne. Is this to encircle Poland or to deter the Turks?
- Organic Potatoes took much of Kazan
- PSV set about recapturing his lost territories. He took Liege and Lorraine.
- PSV allied Brittany to feck with maniak. Brittany is also allied to The Cat
So I see that mission to Morocco ended with me having no land...?
The whole of Europe went war crazy!
And stay out @WI_Red
Aaah, sweet revenge. That is what you get when you run away instead staying under my wing @KirkDuyt .
Mini post before I post the 50 year update.
As France no longer has control of its diplomatic affairs (being in a union under Shakesy), Scotland has lost its alliance with France. @MadDogg wasted no time in exploiting this and annexed all of Scotland, bar the territories it lost in the Anglo-Hungarian war.
Northumberland isn't allied to any major power now, either.
England is back in the game, boys.
As France no longer has control of its diplomatic affairs (being in a union under Shakesy), Scotland has lost its alliance with France. @MadDogg wasted no time in exploiting this and annexed all of Scotland, bar the territories it lost in the Anglo-Hungarian war.
Northumberland isn't allied to any major power now, either.
England is back in the game, boys.
Technically, what is The Cat's is also yours, seeing as your sweet, tender lovers in the Iberian Wedding.
1494 - 50 year update
1494 - 50 year update
(I thought it would be interesting to compare Europe at the same stage with Europe in the EU4 #2 experiment, so here's the map from the same date for that run: https://www.redcafe.net/threads/the...-for-experiment-iii-open.477781/post-30711465)
Note: this is in the midst of many ongoing wars, so some stats like army size, income etc might not be truly reflective.
I'm not counting vassals/PUs at this stage, as there's far too many small nations to count. So some countries stats with large vassals or PUs like Hungary, Poland and Castille/Aragon are not reflective of their true size.
Development (value of provinces):
Land army size:
Navy size:
Total income:
Mana generated (i.e, how lucky you've been with your monarch spawn stats or events and how much you've spent improving your country):
Ideas chosen (provide important buffs, generated by mana):
12: maniak
9: Dr. Dwayne, RedSky, harms
8: hobbers, Stobzilla, nimic, MadDogg, Andycoleno9, Withnail, AnotherLondonManc
7: Shakesy, The Cat, P-Nut, PSV
5: KirkDuyt, WI_Red, SilentWitness
2: Organic Potatoes
Army casualties (in combat + attrition)
Navy casualties:
Almost dead players:
Religious map
Tech map (the greener you are, the more tech you've embraced and the bigger advantages you have over your neighbours):
The state of the HRE. It has passed 2 reforms:
The dynastic map:
(I thought it would be interesting to compare Europe at the same stage with Europe in the EU4 #2 experiment, so here's the map from the same date for that run: https://www.redcafe.net/threads/the...-for-experiment-iii-open.477781/post-30711465)
Note: this is in the midst of many ongoing wars, so some stats like army size, income etc might not be truly reflective.
I'm not counting vassals/PUs at this stage, as there's far too many small nations to count. So some countries stats with large vassals or PUs like Hungary, Poland and Castille/Aragon are not reflective of their true size.
Development (value of provinces):
- Withnail: 806
- Organic Potatoes: 679
- maniak: 514
- WI_Red: 443
- The Cat: 430
- MadDogg: 396
- P-Nut: 363
- RedSky: 271
- Shakesy: 258
- AnotherLondonManc: 235
Land army size:
- Withnail: 59,000
- maniak: 52,000
- P-Nut: 50,000
- Organic Potatoes: 45,000
- Dr. Dwayne: 41,000
- The Cat: 39,000
- WI_Red: 38,000
- MadDogg: 33,000
- AnotherLondonManc: 29,000
- RedSky: 25,000
Navy size:
- Withnail: 46
- WI_Red: 44
- The Cat: 38
- AnotherLondonManc: 36
- MadDogg: 33
- RedSky: 26
- Organic Potatoes: 24
- Andycoleno9: 23
- maniak: 20
- harms: 19
Total income:
- Withnail: 70
- maniak: 45
- Organic Potatoes: 43
- P-Nut: 42
- The Cat: 39
- MadDogg: 37
- WI_Red: 32
- AnotherLondonManc: 29
- Dr. Dwayne: 28
- Shakesy: 26
Mana generated (i.e, how lucky you've been with your monarch spawn stats or events and how much you've spent improving your country):
- Withnail: 17298
- AnotherLondonManc: 15676
- nimic: 14610
- RedSky: 14548
- maniak: 14184
- Andycoleno9: 14069
- Shakesy: 13895
- Dr. Dwayne: 13533
- PSV: 13431
- P-Nut
Ideas chosen (provide important buffs, generated by mana):
12: maniak
9: Dr. Dwayne, RedSky, harms
8: hobbers, Stobzilla, nimic, MadDogg, Andycoleno9, Withnail, AnotherLondonManc
7: Shakesy, The Cat, P-Nut, PSV
5: KirkDuyt, WI_Red, SilentWitness
2: Organic Potatoes
Army casualties (in combat + attrition)
- Withnail: 263 085
- Organic Potatoes: 234 611
- WI_Red: 200 670
- MadDogg: 172 430
- The Cat: 154 612
- AnotherLondonManc: 120 659
- P-Nut: 118 988
- KirkDuyt: 92 405
- Andycoleno9: 43 893
- RedSky: 43 399
Navy casualties:
- Withnail: 39
- KirkDuyt: 36
- The Cat: 21
- AnotherLondonManc: 20
- harms: 14
- Andycoleno9: 13
- Organic Potatoes: 11
- maniak: 9
- WI_Red: 9
- MadDogg: 8
Almost dead players:
- SilentWitness
Religious map
Tech map (the greener you are, the more tech you've embraced and the bigger advantages you have over your neighbours):
The state of the HRE. It has passed 2 reforms:
The dynastic map:
Looks like I could really do with attacking Lithuania other @Organic Potatoes is going to be knocking on my door soon
I certainly have. You can keep your lands. You'll make a fine vassal state
I feel like a damn yoyo. Good update, bad update, good update, bad update, good update. Now just waiting for the bad one to come next.
From the 2nd biggest navy to this... I feel like all I do is chill on the beach with a bottle of port until it's time to bail Spaniards out of trouble.
No hay dos sin tres!
I'm not hungry, I'm Hungary. I am thirsty, I'm Hungary. I'm losing territory, I'm still Hungary
I feel like a rock dangling on a string
Austria PU France? 
. Well, you don't see that often. Tough luck Maniak. Make love, not war cost you there
. Well, you don't see that often. Tough luck Maniak. Make love, not war cost you there FixedHungary PU France?
No way
?! I played shit load of saves and never saw that. In 90% Hungary is PUed by Austria. How lucky are you?Lithuania is in a personal union with you. If you successfully integerate them, you have the opportunity to form "the Commonwealth". The only reason nobody else has attacked them so far is because you'll defend Lithuania
Your average ruler rating has been 5.88/18.
Dem sum' Shakesy genes.You're last for average ruler stats. Unsurprisingly, Withnail has been blessed with monarch RNG of 12.91, then nimic 10.71 and Andycoleno9 9.9.2
Quite.No way
In the last experiment, by this stage Hungary had been carved up between Poland/Ottomans.
That's nice, because if there is one country the needs some RNG help to survive it's definitely the Otto's.Your average ruler rating has been 5.88/18.
You're last for average ruler stats. Unsurprisingly, Withnail has been blessed with monarch RNG of 12.91, then nimic 10.71 and Andycoleno9 9.9.2
edit: meanwhile, on my own Austria save I had an heir that was 1 1 1 who uhm....fell out the window? His successor as heir was 1 0 2 and sadly he also fell out a window. Next heir was a 5 4 6, but she also fell out a window. Then my ruler fell out a window er.... died (guessing the Emperess was not pleased with all the kids falling out windows) and I lost the HRE. RNG man, what you gonna do?
Why do I always miss these
No naval losses so far, at least that's an improvement over last time.
I started last night France save for world conquest. (Brandenburg save was RNG disaster. Maybe playing on hard with them was too much).
After less than 10 years i got Burgundy event with maximum teritory gained. Rng gods were on my side there in full power.
Yeah, i missed last one too. For future (Nimic and PJF); nerd tag.
Very! BUT, no way I get to hold on to France.No way
Weird, I can't remember one game in which Hungary didn't somehow survive to the endQuite.
In the last experiment, by this stage Hungary had been carved up between Poland/Ottomans.