I also remember my first ever girlfriend in my teens used to tell me she'd given a guy her number because it was the only way to get him to leave her alone. That happened countless times.
The murder of Sarah Everard | Couzens sentenced to a whole-life order
- Thread starter VeevaVee
- Start date
Did she ever end up dating the really persistent ones?
Unfortunately this is the reality of the situation.
Many years ago the notion of personal attack alarms was cited as a no go, because folk simply don't respond to them. Similar with car alarms these days (unless you are askeep and it disturbs you, even then it's not because you are worried that someone maybe getting robbed but because it annoys you).
The "fear" element for folk is something that seems to have increased. As in fear of getting hurt or worse for intervening.
True story
My dad's older brother heard a commotion, went outside to see what it was. Saw a neighbour about to hit his wife (neighbours own wife) with a cricket bat. Ran over grabbed it off him, pushed him back and gave him a mouthful.
Few hours later knock on the door. Police saying neighbour AND his wife had reported an assault on the husband by my uncle
No but she broke up with me in a park outside her house
To be fair the bolded is probably based on what could happen to her if she didn't back her husband. I hope the police were understanding of the situation and if nothing else I'm sure the neighbour was put on a list.
Yeah and it's really frustrating because obviously it only ever happens when I'm not with her.
I think even with a car alarm there’s always a chance someone twitches a curtain or looks in that direction though. Might be enough to deter someone or spot something bad happening. I think that’s the best you can hope for, rather than people running over for every alarm.
The thing with an attack/rape alarm though - would most people even think it wasn’t a car or house alarm if they’re around the corner? Just got to hope it draws some attention and they act on it I suppose, or is enough to put them off.
It really is shit that someone has to think about having an alarm that they can reach quickly though.
Could end up being awkward if you forget to take it off when you are bumping uglies with the other half?
Uncle got a warning and was told just ring police in future. Nothing police could do if wife was backing husband.
We knew the family and even the girls dad told my uncle to mind his own business. Didn't speak for years.
She did, a few years later, get severely beaten by hubby and got divorced. But he never saw a police cell as she didn't report it
Possibly! I guess you'd set it at the start of your walk for however long you expect to take.
If I recall correctly the advice given was to shout FIRE, as that would get attention. Not sure if that is the advice today.
When I started working for local govt in the 90s, my work involved evening meetings, it was standard practise to be given a personal alarm regardless of gender.
Even then it was more to disorientate any would be attacker and give the opportunity of escape than raise an alarm for help from others
There seems to be reports of attacks around where Sarah was in the months up to this incident.
Also some mention of women disappearing etc around Margate, Broadstairs, walker etc.
Not sure of the geography so don't know if it's close or relevant myself
Also some mention of women disappearing etc around Margate, Broadstairs, walker etc.
Not sure of the geography so don't know if it's close or relevant myself
Both Margate and Broadstairs are 30-35 mins by car to Deal.
The Ashford area would be on his route to London as most people who drive to London that I know, whom live in Deal would take the M20 and go past turnoffs for Ashford.
In terms of where I live along the coast from Margate, I heard many stories through out the last year of Women, girls and boys being approached by men in vehicles etc.
No but she broke up with me in a park outside her house
Fair play.Twitter is a massive pile of shit alright, my decision never to sign up to it is reaffirmed on a daily basis. There is certainly nothing she could have done to avoid it, unfortunately.
Yeah, I just think it's not really the correct thing to piggyback on, basically anyone would have fallen victim to this cretin, unfortunately it is women the majority of the time, due to a number of factors. I supposed I just don't really subscribe to the idea that women should be able to let their guard down when in situations like that, the world we live in is never going to provide that sort of protection to them, which is obviously incredibly sad, but also reality.
There's an area called Cliftonville where gangs of men regularly harass women. It's by Margate/Broadstairs.
Scant? You're right he wasn't charged with murder. Arrested on suspicion of kidnapping, being held on suspicion of murder. Fixed my post. Thanks.
Maybe not in this particular case because it involves a Met officer but had this been a woman of colour or an imigrant it would not have had the same press/media impact. That shit goes on all the time in the US for example.
As I said I'm personally not clear of the geography, thanks for the detail.
The other areas being mentioned are Deal, Dover, Walmer, Rocester.
The specifics are sketchy but it seems to be women having gone missing from these areas over last few years.
Without wanting to attract the mob, I know that the Thanet areas have had a very large of immigrants in recent years. My sister lives in Broadstairs and she has told me a lot of stuff about gangs of men and the goings on in that area. I've driven through Cliftonville recently and saw some of that myself.
Obviously this is anecdotal and I'm not trying to say that all immigrants are sexual assailants, but there is definitely something to the change in demographics there. However it may be that crime stats paint a completely different picture. I don't know but if I were a single woman I definitely wouldn't walk through Cliftonville at night on my own. But then again I wouldn't walk through a lot of places on my own so what's the answer? You don't expect a copper to be the monster so it seems that women just can't win.
Nothing really to add other than condolences to the family if what looks likely to have transpired has. Also to echo the sentiments of others in this thread, I don’t think I’ve ever dated a girl including my current girlfriend who hasn’t received some form of sexual harassment/abuse from groping to rape.
Like many in this thread it’s been an eye opener how common it is and it’s a testament to the women who manage to move past these incidents.
Like many in this thread it’s been an eye opener how common it is and it’s a testament to the women who manage to move past these incidents.
Really don't know that part of the country so could be wrong but ain't Broadstairs considered "posh"?
Thanet is a real mix of rich and poor. Dover is nasty, Margate was terrible but is probably next for major gentrification. My sister is in St. Peter's which is lovely.
Kent is a dump. Had its day.
You're not wrong, it's got beautiful countryside but I don't really fancy living there again.
Geography knowledge aside, one of the major issues happening when I was working in a certain field was the whole grooming cases.
The general gist of the various cases in various parts of the country focussed on muslim grooming gangs and a specific/shared modus operandi.
Now the thing that struck me and many colleagues, including superintendents of police was that the Oxford case (M5 corridor) and the Rotherham case were totally different in terms of motivating factors.
Generally the Rotherham cases were based more around self gratification whereas the Oxford ones were very much gang related and far more severe and included a percentage of boys being abused and groomed.
The reason I mention this is because from what you are saying with regards to gangs of men I'm seriously wondering if something similar is taking place.
Shook me to my core this and got me thinking through my own past behaviours and not feeling great even if all I’ve ever done is stare at someone I’ve found pretty, that’s still creepy enough.
Seriously bad knowing it was a copper who is supposed to protect and serve and even worse knowing another woman is involved. Gives me added West and his missus vibes.
In The Ripper documentary there was the part where women got so fed up of being told what not to do that they started protesting because the men weren’t being told not to do anything and I can’t help but feel there may be similar protests now cause the reality is absolutely nothing has changed in the public atttitude and women have to go above and beyond to protect themselves and men do feck all. It’s madneas.
Seriously bad knowing it was a copper who is supposed to protect and serve and even worse knowing another woman is involved. Gives me added West and his missus vibes.
In The Ripper documentary there was the part where women got so fed up of being told what not to do that they started protesting because the men weren’t being told not to do anything and I can’t help but feel there may be similar protests now cause the reality is absolutely nothing has changed in the public atttitude and women have to go above and beyond to protect themselves and men do feck all. It’s madneas.
Me and the wife went for a day in Clacton-on-Sea years back and it has to be one of the chavviest places on earth- it made the decrepit East Yorkshire coastal towns look classy.
Different county, you plonker!
I can just imagine you two on deck chairs looking at Clacton Pier, eating whelks!
I agree - I've never used Twitter, and I don't intend to.
I will never understand why it's used as a platform to discuss idea / events when you have such a limited character limit. On top of that, the amount of trolls, weirdos who just get a rise out of abusing people, and sending threats is staggering. Seems the last place anyone would want to make a well detailed nuanced post.
Oh is that Essex? Same difference, still the shitty corner bit of England that's not a patch on Devon and Cornwall.
I just remember a real atmosphere of simmering violence in the pubs and virtually everyone having full sleeve tattoos, as well bulldogs inked on their backs or chests.
Yeah that sounds like Thanet tbf (FASCIST!)
Aye, I've seen people online argue that instead of telling women in the area not to go out on their own as a precautionary response to an incident like this the police should instead order men in the area to stay inside past a given curfew point.
Because there's an obvious and understandable anger at the fact that even walking on your own in what should be relatively safe situation (along a busy road, wearing bright clothes, having told people where you were going and having been on the phone to your boyfriend) can not only see you be attacked but can then result in all other women in the area being asked to restrict their movement even more than they already automatically have to. The frustration at constantly being told they're the ones who will have to change their behaviour must be exhausting.
And underlying all this is the fact that most attacks on women don't occur in these sort of situations anyway. So having been told they need to behave in certain ways to avoid being attacked outside, they also have to be careful in places they know and around men they know too. It's non-stop.
Broadstairs is near Brixton: I don't know well the area - only been twice in my life - but this can't be posh.
In a posh area, I would expect that a young lady can feel secure while walking in the night...
I was born in Brixton, it is 2 hour drive from Broadstairs. Brixton is South London and Broadstairs is East Kent.
When?
Dunno, I think when you grow up there hearing it called the garden of England you assume it must have been nicer when it got that name.When?
Ah! Sorry, on google map, confusing with the Broadstairs hotel near Brixton.
Thanks for the correction.
It was nice in the Darling Buds of May, but that was set in 1950's.
So she was kidnapped off the street?
How is the wife involved, did she coax her into the car or something?
How is the wife involved, did she coax her into the car or something?