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I also remember my first ever girlfriend in my teens used to tell me she'd given a guy her number because it was the only way to get him to leave her alone. That happened countless times.
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Did she ever end up dating the really persistent ones?I also remember my first ever girlfriend in my teens used to tell me she'd given a guy her number because it was the only way to get him to leave her alone. That happened countless times.
Unfortunately this is the reality of the situation.She actually shouted at him that he was a creep and started making a load of noise (I was at home at the time). Apparently everyone on the street just looked at her and didn't say or do anything.
No but she broke up with me in a park outside her houseDid she ever end up dating the really persistent ones?
To be fair the bolded is probably based on what could happen to her if she didn't back her husband. I hope the police were understanding of the situation and if nothing else I'm sure the neighbour was put on a list.Unfortunately this is the reality of the situation.
Many years ago the notion of personal attack alarms was cited as a no go, because folk simply don't respond to them. Similar with car alarms these days (unless you are askeep and it disturbs you, even then it's not because you are worried that someone maybe getting robbed but because it annoys you).
The "fear" element for folk is something that seems to have increased. As in fear of getting hurt or worse for intervening.
True story
My dad's older brother heard a commotion, went outside to see what it was. Saw a neighbour about to hit his wife (neighbours own wife) with a cricket bat. Ram over grabbed it off him, pushed him back and gave him a mouthful.
Few hours later knock on the door. Police saying neighbour AND his wife had reported an assault on the husband by my uncle
Yeah and it's really frustrating because obviously it only ever happens when I'm not with her.Unfortunately this is the reality of the situation.
Many years ago the notion of personal attack alarms was cited as a no go, because folk simply don't respond to them. Similar with car alarms these days (unless you are askeep and it disturbs you, even then it's not because you are worried that someone maybe getting robbed but because it annoys you).
The "fear" element for folk is something that seems to have increased. As in fear of getting hurt or worse for intervening.
True story
My dad's older brother heard a commotion, went outside to see what it was. Saw a neighbour about to hit his wife (neighbours own wife) with a cricket bat. Ran over grabbed it off him, pushed him back and gave him a mouthful.
Few hours later knock on the door. Police saying neighbour AND his wife had reported an assault on the husband by my uncle
I think even with a car alarm there’s always a chance someone twitches a curtain or looks in that direction though. Might be enough to deter someone or spot something bad happening. I think that’s the best you can hope for, rather than people running over for every alarm.Unfortunately this is the reality of the situation.
Many years ago the notion of personal attack alarms was cited as a no go, because folk simply don't respond to them. Similar with car alarms these days (unless you are askeep and it disturbs you, even then it's not because you are worried that someone maybe getting robbed but because it annoys you).
Could end up being awkward if you forget to take it off when you are bumping uglies with the other half?Nobody is really saying it could have been prevented but I think it's brought up a lot of things for women who have probably felt the fear Sarah did that night but luckily had nothing come of it. It's important to get the message out to men that even when they bizarrely think they're 'just' being complimentary it can come across as creepy and scary for women, especially if they're alone.
I do think technology could help try and prevent this going forward though. I know there is an app you keep your finger on and if it comes off the police are called, and also the Hollie Guard one on the thread note. Perhaps something on an Apple watch that activates when it senses an unexpectedly raised pulse? Starts recording audio and transmitting GPS and if it hears screams/shouting/violence, etc.. it calls the police and emergency contacts.
Uncle got a warning and was told just ring police in future. Nothing police could do if wife was backing husband.To be fair the bolded is probably based on what could happen to her if she didn't back her husband. I hope the police were understanding of the situation and if nothing else I'm sure the neighbour was put on a list.
Possibly! I guess you'd set it at the start of your walk for however long you expect to take.Could end up being awkward if you forget to take it off when you are bumping uglies with the other half?
If I recall correctly the advice given was to shout FIRE, as that would get attention. Not sure if that is the advice today.I think even with a car alarm there’s always a chance someone twitches a curtain or looks in that direction though. Might be enough to deter someone or spot something bad happening. I think that’s the best you can hope for, rather than people running over for every alarm.
The thing with an attack/rape alarm though - would most people even think it wasn’t a car or house alarm if they’re around the corner? Just got to hope it draws some attention and they act on it I suppose, or is enough to put them off.
It really is shit that someone has to think about having an alarm that they can reach quickly though.
Both Margate and Broadstairs are 30-35 mins by car to Deal.There seems to be reports of attacks around where Sarah was in the months up to this incident.
Also some mention of women disappearing etc around Margate, Broadstairs, walker etc.
Not sure of the geography so don't know if it's close or relevant myself
Fair play.No but she broke up with me in a park outside her house
Twitter is a massive pile of shit alright, my decision never to sign up to it is reaffirmed on a daily basis. There is certainly nothing she could have done to avoid it, unfortunately.I agree with you, but I think the rhetoric came about due to victim blaming before the perpetrator was identified ("she should have done this" "why is she wearing x"), primarily on Twitter. When I've discussed this incident, it's not been something mentioned at all, but it seems to be on Twitter.
I think another conversation is why people give so much importance to Twitter opinions, and why it's so propagated.
Yeah, I just think it's not really the correct thing to piggyback on, basically anyone would have fallen victim to this cretin, unfortunately it is women the majority of the time, due to a number of factors. I supposed I just don't really subscribe to the idea that women should be able to let their guard down when in situations like that, the world we live in is never going to provide that sort of protection to them, which is obviously incredibly sad, but also reality.Nobody is really saying it could have been prevented but I think it's brought up a lot of things for women who have probably felt the fear Sarah did that night but luckily had nothing come of it. It's important to get the message out to men that even when they bizarrely think they're 'just' being complimentary it can come across as creepy and scary for women, especially if they're alone.
I do think technology could help try and prevent this going forward though. I know there is an app you keep your finger on and if it comes off the police are called, and also the Hollie Guard one on the thread note. Perhaps something on an Apple watch that activates when it senses an unexpectedly raised pulse? Starts recording audio and transmitting GPS and if it hears screams/shouting/violence, etc.. it calls the police and emergency contacts.
There seems to be reports of attacks around where Sarah was in the months up to this incident.
Also some mention of women disappearing etc around Margate, Broadstairs, walker etc.
Not sure of the geography so don't know if it's close or relevant myself
Scant? You're right he wasn't charged with murder. Arrested on suspicion of kidnapping, being held on suspicion of murder. Fixed my post. Thanks.ok. Bit scant on the truth there.
Nobody has been charged with anything yet. He remains in custody and is still being questioned. I would be surprised if the entire 72 hours in custody isn’t used up before any charges are officially put on him.
As I’ve said, I’m just playing Devil’s advocate because I hate hearing people on the outside giving opinions on what should happen based on the snippets provided by the media.
From the outside, it seems fairy compelling that he’s involved. Where his involvement starts and finishes and how deep it is, is anyone’s guess
Maybe not in this particular case because it involves a Met officer but had this been a woman of colour or an imigrant it would not have had the same press/media impact. That shit goes on all the time in the US for example.What about?
There's an area called Cliftonville where gangs of men regularly harass women. It's by Margate/Broadstairs.
As I said I'm personally not clear of the geography, thanks for the detail.Both Margate and Broadstairs are 30-35 mins by car to Deal.
The Ashford area would be on his route to London as most people who drive to London that I know, whom live in Deal would take the M20 and go past turnoffs for Ashford.
In terms of where I live along the coast from Margate, I heard many stories through out the last year of Women, girls and boys being approached by men in vehicles etc.
As I said I'm personally not clear of the geography, thanks for the detail.
The other areas being mentioned are Deal, Dover, Walmer, Rocester.
The specifics are sketchy but it seems to be women having gone missing from these areas over last few years.
Really don't know that part of the country so could be wrong but ain't Broadstairs considered "posh"?Without wanting to attract the mob, I know that the Thanet areas have had a very large of immigrants in recent years. My sister lives in Broadstairs and she has told me a lot of stuff about gangs of men and the goings on in that area. I've driven through Cliftonville recently and saw some of that myself.
Obviously this is anecdotal and I'm not trying to say that all immigrants are sexual assailants, but there is definitely something to the change in demographics there. However it may be that crime stats paint a completely different picture. I don't know but if I were a single woman I definitely wouldn't walk through Cliftonville at night on my own. But then again I wouldn't walk through a lot of places on my own so what's the answer? You don't expect a copper to be the monster so it seems that women just can't win.
Thanet is a real mix of rich and poor. Dover is nasty, Margate was terrible but is probably next for major gentrification. My sister is in St. Peter's which is lovely.Really don't know that part of the country so could be wrong but ain't Broadstairs considered "posh"?
Kent is a dump. Had its day.Thanet is a real mix of rich and poor. Dover is nasty, Margate was terrible but is probably next for major gentrification. My sister is in St. Peter's which is lovely.
Kent is a dump. Had its day.
Geography knowledge aside, one of the major issues happening when I was working in a certain field was the whole grooming cases.Thanet is a real mix of rich and poor. Dover is nasty, Margate was terrible but is probably next for major gentrification. My sister is in St. Peter's which is lovely.
Me and the wife went for a day in Clacton-on-Sea years back and it has to be one of the chavviest places on earth- it made the decrepit East Yorkshire coastal towns look classy.Thanet is a real mix of rich and poor. Dover is nasty, Margate was terrible but is probably next for major gentrification. My sister is in St. Peter's which is lovely.
Me and the wife went for a day in Clacton-on-Sea years back and it has to be one of the chavviest places on earth- it made the decrepit East Yorkshire coastal towns look classy.
I agree - I've never used Twitter, and I don't intend to.Twitter is a massive pile of shit alright, my decision never to sign up to it is reaffirmed on a daily basis. There is certainly nothing she could have done to avoid it, unfortunately.
Yeah, I just think it's not really the correct thing to piggyback on, basically anyone would have fallen victim to this cretin, unfortunately it is women the majority of the time, due to a number of factors. I supposed I just don't really subscribe to the idea that women should be able to let their guard down when in situations like that, the world we live in is never going to provide that sort of protection to them, which is obviously incredibly sad, but also reality.
Oh is that Essex? Same difference, still the shitty corner bit of England that's not a patch on Devon and Cornwall.Different county, you plonker!
I can just imagine you two on deck chairs looking at Clacton Pier, eating whelks!
Oh is that Essex? Same difference, still the shitty corner bit of England that's not a patch on Devon and Cornwall.
I just remember a real atmosphere of simmering violence in the pubs and virtually everyone having full sleeve tattoos, as well bulldogs inked on their backs or chests.
Aye, I've seen people online argue that instead of telling women in the area not to go out on their own as a precautionary response to an incident like this the police should instead order men in the area to stay inside past a given curfew point.Shook me to my core this and got me thinking through my own past behaviours and not feeling great even if all I’ve ever done is stare at someone I’ve found pretty, that’s still creepy enough.
Seriously bad knowing it was a copper who is supposed to protect and serve and even worse knowing another woman is involved. Gives me added West and his missus vibes.
In The Ripper documentary there was the part where women got so fed up of being told what not to do that they started protesting because the men weren’t being told not to do anything and I can’t help but feel there may be similar protests now cause the reality is absolutely nothing has changed in the public atttitude and women have to go above and beyond to protect themselves and men do feck all. It’s madneas.
Broadstairs is near Brixton: I don't know well the area - only been twice in my life - but this can't be posh.Really don't know that part of the country so could be wrong but ain't Broadstairs considered "posh"?
I was born in Brixton, it is 2 hour drive from Broadstairs. Brixton is South London and Broadstairs is East Kent.Broadstairs is near Brixton: I don't know well the area - only been twice in my life - but this can't be posh.
In a posh area, I would expect that a young lady can feel secure while walking in the night...
When?Kent is a dump. Had its day.
Dunno, I think when you grow up there hearing it called the garden of England you assume it must have been nicer when it got that name.When?
Ah! Sorry, on google map, confusing with the Broadstairs hotel near Brixton.I was born in Brixton, it is 2 hour drive from Broadstairs. Brixton is South London and Broadstairs is East Kent.
It was nice in the Darling Buds of May, but that was set in 1950's.Dunno, I think when you grow up there hearing it called the garden of England you assume it must have been nicer when it got that name.