Film The Redcafe Movie review thread

[Dirty Schwein]

Beauty and the Breast
What was the point of this? Charmless and over produced, filled with autotune. Emma Watson was just reading her lines and beast seemed more like a hairy man (Ryan giggs) than a beast. The new scenes and songs were atrocious. Gaston was the only good thing in it 3/10

 

[OneUnited24]

War Machine (2017) - Netflix exclusive movie

Would not recommend this one. Movie had a B-Movie vibe, which isnt usually a bad thing but given the budget i would have expected better dialog (wooden at best) and shots (very dull, nothing clever). There's narration which pulls you out of the movie because it doesn't help move the movie along but rather act like that annoying friend who states the obvious while watching movies only to look smug after saying it because its some amazing insight. It's not. The acting was alright although i didn't think Brad Pitt was convincing, his accent made me cringe and he didn't seem to suit the character.

But the biggest problem i had with this movie was the tone. I couldn't tell you if it was a comedy or drama, reminded me of that shot Di Maria took - not a shot or a cross... At least he got an assist out of it.

Summary: I'm not sure if this was just a poor satire war movie or a poor drama. i dont think the director/screen writer/editor knew either... or they all had a different view on the movie and decided to incorporate all. Never-the-less i'd give it a miss. 3/10 and thats being generous.

 

[dumbo]

Wasn't this heralded as a new feminist vision, spearheaded by "feminist queen" Watson yet the only real change seems to be that she's able to build a washing machine?

That might have even been in the original, but the feminist label did strike me as strange whilst watching. Sure she's a bit stroppier than before but any character empowerment bulking is lost in the passivity of the performance. I suspect it's less a marketing label than baggage attached to Watson over those horrific nude leak threats.

I reckon Disney, for such a big evil corp, have been pretty strong on female characters for a while now and particularly in addressing weaknesses in their traditional princess formula. They tend to be smart and subtle with it too with Enchanted being the high watermark of subverting gender and genre expectation. The underappreciated Maleficent did something interesting, Cinderella and Frozen worked and I don't need to bang on about Moana again. Beauty and the Beast does not fall in to this grouping.

 

[Will Absolute]

I reckon Disney, for such a big evil corp, have been pretty strong on female characters for a while now and particularly in addressing weaknesses in their traditional princess formula. They tend to be smart and subtle with it too with Enchanted being the high watermark of subverting gender and genre expectation. The underappreciated Maleficent did something interesting, Cinderella and Frozen worked and I don't need to bang on about Moana again. Beauty and the Beast does not fall in to this grouping.

Because beating a fashionable, feminist drum is a sure signifier of being not-evil.

 

[dumbo]

Beauty and the Breast
What was the point of this? Charmless and over produced, filled with autotune. Emma Watson was just reading her lines and beast seemed more like a hairy man (Ryan giggs) than a beast. The new scenes and songs were atrocious. Gaston was the only good thing in it 3/10

Right? From the very first note you could hear it. Very weird to handicap yourself before you even begin. Let her be slightly off key, if she was so bad dub her, or alternatively get a suitable performer to begin with. What they did seemed the worst option available.

 

[Tarrou]

John Wick 2 is just John Wick 1 with a different dog.

Spoiler

I wish he'd just put a cap in Al Swearengen already...

 

[Wibble]

T2 Trainspotting The first half was great and set up a potentially great second half but then ceased to go anywhere much. Relied too much on nostalgia and too little on the plot of this film. I haven't read Porno but I'd guess the film missed a great deal of the plot from the book. Lots of funny bits but nowhere near as funny/good as the first film. Shame. A near miss. 6/10

 

[RedPed]

Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge

Time this franchise died and slinked off into oblivion I'm afraid. This fourth sequel was originally subtitled Dead Men Tell No Tales but has been renamed Salazar's Revenge for some reason. I thought this instalment was going to be closer to the first film (which was actually quite good) but alas I was wrong. Sorry, but Johnny Depp is such a shit actor. In fact most of the acting was just too hammy for me apart from Bardem, who played Salazar. Script is messy and you just find yourself waiting for the film to finish. The last 15 minutes or so were probably the best from the whole film but not not enough to redeem it overall. Just the usual mish-mash of standard Pirates set-pieces and characters. Doesn't add anything to the franchise and instantly forgettable.

I'm giving this a 4/10.

 

[RedPed]

Snatched

Disappointing comedy about an outgoing woman (Amy Schumer) and her uptight, slightly paranoid mother (Goldie Hawn) who end up on an unexpected kidnapping adventure in Colombia. The film has its moments but it wasn't really that funny to be honest. It's one of those movies where you feel you should be laughing out loud but you just end up forcing a smile. Schumer does what she does best and even pops one of her ample breasts out during the film for some titivation if you like that sort of thing. The film moves along at a decent pace and is not too long at around 90 minutes. I don't think it was as good as Trainwreck but it's a solid enough effort to consolidate her transition to the movie industry. I must say though I was completely shocked by Joan Cusack and how she looked in the film. Fair play to her for keeping it au naturelle but wow!

I'm giving this a 5/10.

 

[RedPed]

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

The best of the 3 films I've seen this week at the cinema. Adequate retelling of the Sword in the Stone and Knights of the Round Table stories and with a brief cameo from a certain David Beckham, you could do a lot worse. Jude Law plays the evil uncle hellbent on taking out the rightful master of the fabled sword, capable of usurping him as ruler. With decent but not over the top effects, this film was better than I thought it would be. Certainly not a classic but enjoyable nonetheless. Ritchie certainly making the most of his big budget. Pity it's tanked at the box office though.

I'm giving this a 7/10.

 

[Green_Red]

Just watched "War Machine". Not bad but not great. Anyone seen it? I'd give it the Greizmann.

 

[jungledrums]

Just watched "War Machine". Not bad but not great. Anyone seen it? I'd give it the Greizmann.

I'd love for this to become a thing

 

[Green_Red]

I'd love for this to become a thing

I'm surprised it isn't already

 

[Mrs Smoker]

For some of us weirdos that do not venture much into the wilderness of transfer forums, what does it mean?

 

[berbatrick]

6/10

 

[Mrs Smoker]

Cheers.

Guess it's some inside joke, as thought lad is pretty good. Probably Scholesy rated him that.

 

[jungledrums]

Cheers.

Guess it's some inside joke, as thought lad is pretty good. Probably Scholesy rated him that.

Nah, just Griezmann rating his chances of joining United. But honestly, if you don't know about it, consider yourself lucky. Do not sully yourself by lurking in the transfer forums, you're one of the pure ones at the moment.

 

[Mrs Smoker]

Ah, thanks, I see. Sorry, Scholesy.

And purity will be preserved for a while at least.

 

[Archie Leach]

Neruda - Part noir, part Western, part surrealist nightmare, this beautifully shot account of Pablo Neruda's escape from Fascist Chile probably has little to do with the truth, but it's funny and weird in all the right ways. Gael Garcia Bernal gives a flamboyant turn as the policeman pursuing Neruda across country and Luis Gnecco makes Neruda both intriguing and repulsive but leaves you in no doubt as to why the poet was such a man of interest. Better than Jackie, for sure. Will go back and watch No now.

 

[Organic Potatoes]

The Last Samurai: 14/20

If you can suspend your disbelief of a drunk Tom Cruise being the redeemer of an ancient far-East warrior tradition, it's enjoyable enough.

 

[Nytram Shakes]

ALIEN COVENANT Review
*spoliers ahead*

Overall I thought it was a bit of a mess. The first bit on the ship is great, you feel like your getting to know the characters,
Then they go down to the planet, your expected to believe they would do this with absolutely zero protection what they may get infected with .... but hey, then David turns up looking like he wants to be a Jedi, We go to the the engineers city which looked awesome but we don't get to meet them because David had killed them all, and it doesn't really answer the questions from Prometheus.... but after those disappointments I kind of got back into the film for a while because Micheal Fassbender made such a good creepy villain dispite the fact he in no way feels like the David from Prometheus, but it keeps going into stupid moments, like yeah course I will follow you mr creepy android after I've found my crew mate dead and stick my head in this alien pod ....... the utterly bizarre shot when we first see the proper alien, with Scott trying to shoot it like it was a euphoric moment, followed by the a few flat feeling action sequences and the beyond obvious switch that it was David on the ship........

Don't get me wrong their where lots of themes and ideas I liked, but it just felt jarring, and the execution was just way off.

 

[R.N7]

Neruda - Part noir, part Western, part surrealist nightmare, this beautifully shot account of Pablo Neruda's escape from Fascist Chile probably has little to do with the truth, but it's funny and weird in all the right ways. Gael Garcia Bernal gives a flamboyant turn as the policeman pursuing Neruda across country and Luis Gnecco makes Neruda both intriguing and repulsive but leaves you in no doubt as to why the poet was such a man of interest. Better than Jackie, for sure. Will go back and watch No now.

I've had this on my computer for months but have been unable to find some decent subtitles for it, did you watch it at home or at the pictures?

Also, big ups to my man Ruben Östlund for claiming the Palm D'or.

 

[Archie Leach]

I've had this on my computer for months but have been unable to find some decent subtitles for it, did you watch it at home or at the pictures?

Also, big ups to my man Ruben Östlund for claiming the Palm D'or.

At the cinema. Just saw the news about Ostlund, good for him, I really like Force Majeure.

 

[Archie Leach]

Palme d'Or - The Square by Ruben Ostlund
Grand Prix - 120 Beats per Minute by Robin Campillo
Best Director - Sofia Coppola for The Beguiled
Best Screenplay - Yorgos Lanthimos and Efthymis Filippou for The Killing of a Sacred Deer
Best Actress - Diane Kruger (really?) for In the Fade
Best Actor - Joaquin Phoenix for You Were Never Really Here
Jury Prize - Loveless by Andrey Zvyagintsev
70th Anniversary Prize - Nicole Kidman

Noah Baumbach (directing Adam Sandler, who actually tried this time) and Sean Baker, of Tangerine fame both have well received films at the festival. Good stuff.

 

[Ian Reus]

The Battle of Algiers. 8/10.
Terrific old black and white film about the French occupation of Algeria and the subsequent backlash from the local population.
Very well shot.
As relevant today as it was back then.

Is there a foreign film thread or do they just get lumped in here?

 

[FCBarca]

John Wick 2 is just John Wick 1 with a different dog.

First film I enjoyed much more but was always going to be a tough act to follow

 

[R.N7]

Palme d'Or - The Square by Ruben Ostlund
Grand Prix - 120 Beats per Minute by Robin Campillo
Best Director - Sofia Coppola for The Beguiled
Best Screenplay - Yorgos Lanthimos and Efthymis Filippou for The Killing of a Sacred Deer
Best Actress - Diane Kruger (really?) for In the Fade
Best Actor - Joaquin Phoenix for You Were Never Really Here
Jury Prize - Loveless by Andrey Zvyagintsev
70th Anniversary Prize - Nicole Kidman

Noah Baumbach (directing Adam Sandler, who actually tried this time) and Sean Baker, of Tangerine fame both have well received films at the festival. Good stuff.

A couple interesting films bar the Yorgos Lanthimos movie and maybe In the Fade.

 

[Edgar Allan Pillow]

XxX - Return of Xander Cage

Shite. Ridiculous, plot, action sequences, screenplay, acting, dialogue and everything else.

2/10

 

[Edgar Allan Pillow]

War Machine (2017) - Netflix exclusive movie

Would not recommend this one. Movie had a B-Movie vibe, which isnt usually a bad thing but given the budget i would have expected better dialog (wooden at best) and shots (very dull, nothing clever). There's narration which pulls you out of the movie because it doesn't help move the movie along but rather act like that annoying friend who states the obvious while watching movies only to look smug after saying it because its some amazing insight. It's not. The acting was alright although i didn't think Brad Pitt was convincing, his accent made me cringe and he didn't seem to suit the character.

But the biggest problem i had with this movie was the tone. I couldn't tell you if it was a comedy or drama, reminded me of that shot Di Maria took - not a shot or a cross... At least he got an assist out of it.

Summary: I'm not sure if this was just a poor satire war movie or a poor drama. i dont think the director/screen writer/editor knew either... or they all had a different view on the movie and decided to incorporate all. Never-the-less i'd give it a miss. 3/10 and thats being generous.

I realized later it was a satire on Gen. McChrystal who was a commander in Afghanistan and subsequently resigned and retired. Very weird movie though.

 

[Archie Leach]

A couple interesting films bar the Yorgos Lanthimos movie and maybe In the Fade.

I liked bits of The Lobster, and enjoy Lanthimos' straight-faced absurdism. It's also got an interesting logline: When the behavior of a teenage boy he has taken under his wing turns sinisterSteven (Colin Farrel), a charismatic surgeon, is forced to make an unthinkable sacrifice after his life starts to fall apart. So I'll see it.

 

[Dirty Schwein]

Emelie
Parents leave thier kids with a substitute nanny who turns out to be deranged and violent towards their kids. Pretty decent low budget film, especially if your a parent. Doesn't fall into the usual nanny cliches and has some slow burning tension throughout. Doesn't quite stand out as it needs to but is enjoyable enough to be worth a watch 6/10

Ghostbusters (2016)
So put this off for a long time but the missus wanted to see it and surprisingly, I didn't absolutely hate it as much as I thought I would. Kate Mckinnon was quite funny and Hemsworth had his moments. Still, a pretty bad film that wasn't very funny. Some good action scenes but too many flat jokes ruined the film 4/10

John Wick: Chapter 2
A much bigger scale version of the first film and I loved it. Great action scenes and has a pace that makes it seem much shorter than the two hour run time. Keanu Reeves was brutal in the hand to hand combat and it's gloriously violent 8/10

 

[OnlyTwoDaSilvas]

Captain America Civil War

Thought I'd give it a go as I'm a big fan of the Civil War comic run. Turns out it's not really based on that run. It was ok though. Goodies vs Baddies where the Baddies are actually Goodies, except for that one Baddie, who really is a Baddie.

Good action scenes that you can tell costed billions of $$$. Story was a bit naff though. An adaptation of the Civil War story in the comics would have been better.

Glad there wasn't much Spider-Man in it. How do they keep getting the character so wrong in films?

5 outta 10. Needed more Paul Rudd.

 

[Sylar]

Glad there wasn't much Spider-Man in it. How do they keep getting the character so wrong in films?

What was wrong with this Spidey?

 

[Zen]

Must be the only person to have disliked Spidy in Civil War to be fair.....or at least a very small minority. Not overly sure how he or for that Maguires were all "so wrong" either. You can have Garfield though...

 

[Dirty Schwein]

Wonder Woman
The trailer was good and fortunately, the film was solid. Gal Gadot was spot on, and I was worried she couldn't lead the film. She did great, with the help of Chris Pine, who was excellent. The action for the most part was well executed but the film did have some flaws. I thought the villain was not great (as usual) and the whole final act was a CGI mess, similar to the doomsday fight on BvS. While it was no Logan or Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 1, it was definitely a much needed step in the right direction for DC 7/10

 

[Archie Leach]

Wonder Woman - yeah, it's not as bad as the other DC films, but it's still terrible. Incoherent nonsense, where one scene leads to the next with no causality, characters appear exactly when they're needed, even when it would take them a long time to get there, supporting roles which are rendered completely pointless (let's have a guy famous for smooth talking do no smooth talking, a sniper who never shoots anyone, a Native American, cos that's a character), another completely shithouse villain and some of the worst CGI you'll see in a blockbuster. I don't get it, DC have these massive budgets, why are the effects so shoddy? Gal Gadot and Chris Pine have some nice chemistry, but other than that this is another dog.

 

[dumbo]

Life was really good fun. A broad genre thriller rooted in a mix of 1950's scifi and Lovecraftian cosmic malignancy. It's a sort of Alien/It Came from Outer Space meets The Thing/The Thing/The Thing. It's knockoff sure, but serves it's purpose well enough; delivering a few good thrills and a nice bit of tension as it hits it's genre beats. It uses the same old monster but the design and animation is good.

If like me you want to see another Alien film but have sworn off anything associated with the dismal, official franchise, then check this out. It's not fashionable and I suspect it will sink like a rock but it was a nice change from the slew of pretend-smart, dick chin-stroking science fiction we get shovelled these days.

 

[Rooney in Paris]

Life was really good fun. A broad genre thriller rooted in a mix of 1950's scifi and Lovecraftian cosmic malignancy. It's a sort of Alien/It Came from Outer Space meets The Thing/The Thing/The Thing. It's knockoff sure, but serves it's purpose well enough; delivering a few good thrills and a nice bit of tension as it hits it's genre beats. It uses the same old monster but the design and animation is good.

If like me you want to see another Alien film but have sworn off anything associated with the dismal, official franchise, then check this out. It's not fashionable and I suspect it will sink like a rock but it was a nice change from the slew of pretend-smart, dick chin-stroking science fiction we get shovelled these days.

I'm still on the fence about seeing this, I was wondering whether it would be a waste of time... you may have convinced me.

 

[bucky]

I absolutely hated Life. Most predictable movie I've seen in a while.

 

[Pscholes18]

I absolutely hated Life. Most predictable movie I've seen in a while.

It was predictable but I enjoyed it..that creature weirded me out.