Mourinho to United | Officially Announced

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On the same hysterical, pantomime fan-scale of judgement that also deems 53 year old father of two, and sometime professional football manager Jose Mourinho a "huge prick" too? Yes. Unquestionably.

Considering none of us know the sum-total of bum about any of them anyway, and that the comparative hugeness of their pricks is merely an overwrought argument about "the silliest shit they've done in football", I can't even imagine an argument for the humungous "prick" status that Jose enjoys, that would somehow, also, simultaneously absolve that trilogy of greats from the same swinging prick of judgement... Can you?

I mean, as iconic (and lets be honest, hilarious) it is now, I don't think you've quite registered how utterly ridiculous it was for reigning PFA Player of The Year Eric Cantona, to jump feet first into a stadium crowd, to kick a real life, mostly human opposition fan! Yeah, Mourinho once childishly prodded someone in the eye and then ran away, like Richard Hammond in a Top Gear ruck, but Eric Cantona JUMPED INTO THE CROWD AND HIT A FAN!! He almost took an old woman's head off too!

Then of course you've got Keano, who tried to end someone's career over a bizarre 4 year grudge that originally stemmed from an injury he got whilst TRYING TO FOUL SOMEONE!! .... And that's without dipping into the long, stamp-heavy, disciplinary record of both players, on and off the field.

Fergie, meanwhile, kicked a boot at his own player's head, sold his best defender for a ghost written anecdote about a petrol station, sued his own shareholders over a literal gifthorse, which ultimately contributed toward the Glazer Takeover, goaded a fellow manager into a public breakdown by going on a "disrespectful" rant about another fellow manager, banned scores of critical journos and slammed tonnes of referees, all the while refusing to speak to the BBC for seven years after one show said his son was dodgy, even though United's board at the time basically confirmed it by blacklisting him as an agent soon after!....
Mourinho was admittedly a dick to the only famous club doctor in the league (nay world!) but unless he did it whilst on the triple-prick-score square in Cuntopoly, I'm a bit lost at how he makes up the ground?

I've seen you say in other threads that you "don't get" the love for Mourinho. Well, the same bafflement you get from fans embracing a former rival (like, say Alan Smith, or RVP?) I get from the consistent and stubborn unwillingness to notice (or at least admit) that Jose is, and has always been, the most ball-tazering, lemon buggeringly obvious representation of a modern, Fergie-type manager. In almost every possible respect. The mind games, the calculated provocations, the siege mentality, cult of personalities, deep rooted loyalty followed by explosive media bust ups...Right down to the preferred fast counterattacking style, but the occasional reliance on bland pragmacy in the harder games, no manager shares nearly as many traits with Fergie as Jose does. Not by a country mile.

But of all the traits they share. The best one. The one that really gets me excited about this whole thing, is the trait they both have of being a huge, belligerent, confrontational, arrogant, talented, winning... prick.
Nice post, loads of good points ... especially like Cuntopoly, "a game for all the family"? Wonder what happens if you throw a triple 6?
 

sammsky1

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If anyone can genuinely sit there and tell me Ferguson or Cantona is as much of a prick as Mourinho I can't listen to it.

The idea that Cantona kicking some racist prick in the head is anywhere near just constant years of belittling, bitterness and just general lack of all around class is absurd.

Ferguson kept Manchster United at the top by being a world class professional. Did he lose his temper at times? Yes. If the worst thing he did is kick a boot in anger and make Kevin Keegan angry then you haven't got a leg to stand on.

Occasionally yes, Ferguson would fall out with people. However you always felt he did well by the club. The amount of footballers who speak well of him is insane. Players like Shawcross, Eagles, Sompson have all said their careers are down to him.

Mourinho just isn't in the same class. From his comments to Wenger, insulting Benitez's wife, attacking his own medical staff for doing their job, physically assaulting other managers and throwing his players under the bus. This isn't a small thing. It's constant. Everywhere he goes.

I'm not having someone sitting here and saying Mourinho is anything like legends of our club. Just not having it. He's proven himself time and time again to be a nasty man.
have you heard how many ex mourinho players speak about him?

you've every right not to like him, but your comments are not objective and laced with your own negative bias.

If I were you, Id let to go and make peace with it, else you will not enjoy the special relationship we all have with our club.
 

Seveneric

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It's not too much to ask to not have a "MouCafe" banner like that horribly cringy "Oranjecafe" banner that heralded that other manager's reign, is it?
 

Cristiano Lell

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If anyone can genuinely sit there and tell me Ferguson or Cantona is as much of a prick as Mourinho I can't listen to it.

The idea that Cantona kicking some racist prick in the head is anywhere near just constant years of belittling, bitterness and just general lack of all around class is absurd.

Ferguson kept Manchster United at the top by being a world class professional. Did he lose his temper at times? Yes. If the worst thing he did is kick a boot in anger and make Kevin Keegan angry then you haven't got a leg to stand on.

Occasionally yes, Ferguson would fall out with people. However you always felt he did well by the club. The amount of footballers who speak well of him is insane. Players like Shawcross, Eagles, Sompson have all said their careers are down to him.

Mourinho just isn't in the same class. From his comments to Wenger, insulting Benitez's wife, attacking his own medical staff for doing their job, physically assaulting other managers and throwing his players under the bus. This isn't a small thing. It's constant. Everywhere he goes.

I'm not having someone sitting here and saying Mourinho is anything like legends of our club. Just not having it. He's proven himself time and time again to be a nasty man.
Yep. It's all true.
And you just hired him, after he ruined Chelsea and sold their best youngsters. Your club is clearly desperate and lacking meaningful leadership from the board.
But then, it's only 2 and a half years. You'll survive.
 

Wumminator

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Yeah, it's nowhere near. It's way worse than anything Mourinho has done.

Also he had a really bad disciplinary record before coming to United.

And you somehow didn't mention anything about Keane and his actions.

I guess it suits your agenda.

I'm typing on a phone. Cant be bothered to go through a load of points in order to justify my opinion Ferguson and Cantona are heroes.
 

Bubz27

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Nope. Not having any of it. Fergie never treated his players as badly as Mourinho. He was a great man.


Jose ever physically assaulted any of his players? I mean Mockney specifically talked about this incident in his post and you still replied with your nonsense.
 

Ban

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Jose ever physically assaulted any of his players? I mean Mockney specifically talked about this incident in his post and you still replied with your nonsense.
He's typing on the phone so can't be bothered with it.
 
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Yep. It's all true.
And you just hired him, after he ruined Chelsea and sold their best youngsters. Your club is clearly desperate and lacking meaningful leadership from the board.
But then, it's only 2 and a half years. You'll survive.
We got through 2 and a half years of Moyes/Van Gaal.... this'll be a piece of piss!
 

Snowjoe

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Guys guys guys.

Can't we get back to some good old fashioned muppetry instead of arguing about which cnut is the biggest cnut.
 

Van Piorsing

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Jose ever physically assaulted any of his players? I mean Mockney specifically talked about this incident in his post and you still replied with your nonsense.
:lol:

You're suggesting he kicked that boot intentionally to hit Beckham in the face ?

This is not a matrix, things like that happening is like 100 to 1. Beckham also had a go at Fergie in the dressing room and other players had to stop him with force.

Beckham is not a victim.
 

Wumminator

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Jose ever physically assaulted any of his players? I mean Mockney specifically talked about this incident in his post and you still replied with your nonsense.
Nonsense!

Ferguson kicked out at a boot in anger and it hit David Beckham. In the aftermath the players in the dressing room to sit down when he stood up because he was clearly in the wrong.
 

redhoop

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If anyone can genuinely sit there and tell me Ferguson or Cantona is as much of a prick as Mourinho I can't listen to it.

The idea that Cantona kicking some racist prick in the head is anywhere near just constant years of belittling, bitterness and just general lack of all around class is absurd.

Ferguson kept Manchster United at the top by being a world class professional. Did he lose his temper at times? Yes. If the worst thing he did is kick a boot in anger and make Kevin Keegan angry then you haven't got a leg to stand on.

Occasionally yes, Ferguson would fall out with people. However you always felt he did well by the club. The amount of footballers who speak well of him is insane. Players like Shawcross, Eagles, Sompson have all said their careers are down to him.

Mourinho just isn't in the same class. From his comments to Wenger, insulting Benitez's wife, attacking his own medical staff for doing their job, physically assaulting other managers and throwing his players under the bus. This isn't a small thing. It's constant. Everywhere he goes.

I'm not having someone sitting here and saying Mourinho is anything like legends of our club. Just not having it. He's proven himself time and time again to be a nasty man.
I agree with this.

I also accept and even, grudgingly, welcome the man. He certainly seems to be the right fit for the job and could well prove to be a great hire. It doesn't mean we have to pretend he is anything other than he is. I remember that flapping coat on the touchline when Porto beat us in the CL with all their cheap, nasty, diving, cheating shennanigans. Sure, he's made me laugh at times - wind-up merchants can be funny. He seems loyal to his players and engenders a strong team spirit - he knows how to manage a group of egos and how to win and, goodness knows, we have missed that. He shares traits of Fergie, Cantona, Keane et al, but he has managed to embody the very worst of them at times. I dare say he is neither wholly bad nor wholly good. Let's hope his passion for the job brings out the best he has to offer as that can be pretty impressive. As for the eye-gouging, hamper-hiding, referee-lying shit - he can leave that at the door.
 

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I think he'll rejuvenate Rooney in that role, commentators keep talking up Rooney in almost a deep lying role but if a manager can get the balance right that allows Rooney to maintain his attacking output while contributing defensively then we could have a world class Rooney returning - if anyone can then surely it's Mourinho?

This cycle under Mourinho is probably Rooney's last realistic chance at major silverware. He should be easy to motivate.
 

JTW95

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That was an actual possibility with the Chelsea naming rights debacle! How funny that would have been!
You better get to the courthouse and get naming rights for JoMo. You don't want to lose your cut when the JoMo toothpaste hits the market!
 

Von Mistelroum

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Someone mentioned his 'sexist comments' before. Genuinely curious as to what these awful comments actually were.
 

Sigma

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I'm typing on a phone. Cant be bothered to go through a load of points in order to justify my opinion Ferguson and Cantona are heroes.
Their only heroes because you support Manchester United. It's just complete bias from your part. You can't look past the point being made that these characters did worse things that what Mourinho has done just because you support these people.
 
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