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Westminster Politics
- Thread starter altodevil
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Thread update? Last days of the PM (part II)
Nuclear fallout couldn't get rid of Johnson now.
naaah, the rules they had to oblige to were far too draconian so give the pm a break will ya
Starmer on the other hand should be hung and then quartered for having a beer during a campaign trip
All politicians are the same, ya know wot i meen.
Origin story
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Sue Gray report is in. Imagine it's currently in a pedal bin, on fire.
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Is this satire?
Sue Gray Report - Transparent Edition
On several occasions many disgusting civil servants sipped on champagne whilst millions of hard working Britons did the right thing and stayed at home to prevent the spread of Covid-19. Boris Johnson, Prime Minister, Champion of the People and a gorgeous fluffy head man, worked tirelessly to bring his people through these difficult times. After working his fingers to the literal bone for six months straight, only stopping to go to the bathroom and educate his children on the important of duty, he stopped to eat a single sandwich and drink a single liquid. Unknown to him, the single liquid was a crate of champagne and the single sandwich was a 16" Meaty Blaster from Faz's Kebab Emporium in Hull, which he had unknowingly travelled to in his personal Jag - stopping off only to fill his vehicle with petrol and shake hands with several residents of the service stations toilet stalls using his genitalia to avoid Covid-19 contamination, dipping himself in lard before greeting each visitor. It was at this point that Mr Johnson realised that his Covid-19 preventing magic powder was starting to wear off, so he took a small detour to meet Dodgy Pete down by the docks in Leith, Scotland, whereupon he replenished his magic powder stocks as well as some additional rounds of ammunition for his rocket launcher.
Unfortunately, due to his tiredness brought on by his efforts to Make Britain Great Again, as well as an allergic reaction to the Sudafed mixed in with his special powder, Mr Johnson had the sudden urge to run around in circles and talk incessantly about building a space shuttle with Elon Musk so he could go and blow up the moon. In a stroke of genius, admittedly erroneous due to incorrect information passed to him by a faulty IT system, Mr Johnson assumed that the space shuttle had already been delivered in the form of a Jaguar that looked identical to the one he was driving in. This report does not need to reiterate what happened afterwards, as the Met's investigation into the Kitten Shelter Explosion is still ongoing.
In conclusion, this report finds that had the pesky civil servants carried out due diligence and process, Mr Johnson would not have found himself in such a difficult situation and therefore it is found that whilst the Prime Minister should receive a titular fine for the discrepancies found between his version of events and the evidence retrieved from a dog fighting pit in Slough, the majority of the fines should go to low-level civil servants, as the onus is on them to take full responsibility for the actions of our country's elite.
On several occasions many disgusting civil servants sipped on champagne whilst millions of hard working Britons did the right thing and stayed at home to prevent the spread of Covid-19. Boris Johnson, Prime Minister, Champion of the People and a gorgeous fluffy head man, worked tirelessly to bring his people through these difficult times. After working his fingers to the literal bone for six months straight, only stopping to go to the bathroom and educate his children on the important of duty, he stopped to eat a single sandwich and drink a single liquid. Unknown to him, the single liquid was a crate of champagne and the single sandwich was a 16" Meaty Blaster from Faz's Kebab Emporium in Hull, which he had unknowingly travelled to in his personal Jag - stopping off only to fill his vehicle with petrol and shake hands with several residents of the service stations toilet stalls using his genitalia to avoid Covid-19 contamination, dipping himself in lard before greeting each visitor. It was at this point that Mr Johnson realised that his Covid-19 preventing magic powder was starting to wear off, so he took a small detour to meet Dodgy Pete down by the docks in Leith, Scotland, whereupon he replenished his magic powder stocks as well as some additional rounds of ammunition for his rocket launcher.
Unfortunately, due to his tiredness brought on by his efforts to Make Britain Great Again, as well as an allergic reaction to the Sudafed mixed in with his special powder, Mr Johnson had the sudden urge to run around in circles and talk incessantly about building a space shuttle with Elon Musk so he could go and blow up the moon. In a stroke of genius, admittedly erroneous due to incorrect information passed to him by a faulty IT system, Mr Johnson assumed that the space shuttle had already been delivered in the form of a Jaguar that looked identical to the one he was driving in. This report does not need to reiterate what happened afterwards, as the Met's investigation into the Kitten Shelter Explosion is still ongoing.
In conclusion, this report finds that had the pesky civil servants carried out due diligence and process, Mr Johnson would not have found himself in such a difficult situation and therefore it is found that whilst the Prime Minister should receive a titular fine for the discrepancies found between his version of events and the evidence retrieved from a dog fighting pit in Slough, the majority of the fines should go to low-level civil servants, as the onus is on them to take full responsibility for the actions of our country's elite.
Power and influence.
Yeah but the papers seem to treat them differently mind you
Cheers.
The 20 meal deals on the table hahahha
Is that it? What a wet lettuce of a report. Nothing really new there.
CON +8
In civil servant terms it is pretty scathing. But civil service language has no cut through with the public.
Difficult to understand why the ABBA party wasn't investigated though.
Difficult to understand why the ABBA party wasn't investigated though.
Apart from all the references to the individuals who were organising the events knowing they were completely wrong, and then doing it anyway. I think people need to reflect on the restrictions in place when many of these events happened in 2020 and early 2021. People were dying, getting married, giving birth, celebrating religious and cultural holidays etc. in isolation or with minimal support, whilst the culture at the Prime Minister's house and office was to enforce and promote these rules, then completely ignore them and only worry about the optics of how it might look to get caught.
Obviously the report isn't as explosive as it might have been, given we have been getting news drip fed to us for weeks and months., but it is damning, and I imagine more will whistleblowing and leaks will come.
+£500,000 to Sue Grays bank account today.
That’s Dame Sue Gray to you and I.
Just turned on Politics Live but could barely last 5 mins. Why does everything turn into who can do the best zinger? Everyone is just fecking laughing. Bunch of cnuts.
Feudal system still working well. Carry on.
Yes they will, a) when enough of his fellow Tories fear losing a GE and ditch him; b) or at a GE, when hopefully Labour has eventually found its way out of the paper bag and can mount a real political challenge, with game-changing policies (please just 1 will do!!), to win over enough support, in both England and Scotland; remember without sufficient Labour MP's in Scotland, they have no chance of power at Westminster!
In the interim, with an 80 seat majority a man like Boris is virtually fireproof. The continual focusing on partygate, something that is beyond repudiation now, and that Boris has now admitted and apologised for... and paid his fine. Something that lots of people around the country are feeling perhaps a bit sheepish/guilty about themselves, because they broke the rules too, and don't want reminding everyday.
The raging rises in the pipeline on the cost of living should be in Labours sights now, morning, noon and night, nothing else should deflect them, ditch the so called Labour inclined 'press comforters' and get after the political left wing journalists to do their job!
You can mount a constructive argument against Boris but only when the whole country is behind you (i.e. not half feeling guilty themselves about breaking lockdown rules) and you are continually on his back over both the cost of living explosion and also asking what will happen to his 'levelling -up' agenda now!
If, Boris and the Tories get their 'second wind' on dealing with the cost of living rises and they are slowly looking like they might just eventually stumble on something that sounds as if it might actually work, especially for those who are hardest hit and in the meantime Labour is still blithering on about partygate, then all is lost for a generation at least.
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Vladimir Corbyn
This country is continuously being let down. I’m sick of it. It’s so depressing to be governed by small group of people that hold us in contempt.
Johnson will ride this out
Privileges of Rank, no doubt?
At this stage only murder or paedophilia would definitely see him outed. He’d even have defenders lining up for him for most forms of sexual assault.
BoJo fecking a pig would see the Tories win 500 seats at the next election. This is the real black mirror!
The bolded should be your tagline.
The problem is the media cycle. Realistically, Labour may have a small influence on that cycle, but they do not control it. They either ride the media wave (Starmer attempts it) or get washed out while trying to raise more pertinent and serious issues (Corbyn).
It does bother alot of people who voted Conservative in the last election, those who followed the rules or lost loved ones and couldn't be as present as they wanted.
Even taking the emotive element out of partygate, it is politically significant and relevant to everyone in the country who was locked down.
But at what point do the British public wake up and say enough is enough. There isn't one subject he hasn't lied about, whether it's partygate, brexit, vaccines, lockdown, investment, everything is a lie. Forget Labour, why do the British people want to be lied to?