Grand Christmas Board of Fortune Game (2017) - Guess Who's Who?

Round 4 - Yellow Card

So Crackers was born in July 1991, out of wedlock. His mother had a boyfriend and one night he was made.
Once his dad found out he was gonna be a father he darted. Mum says it was amicable, but I highly doubt it. His mother then married the following December, to someone completely different, who became my adoptive father. Met the biological one once, but he was a coward and a fraud.
They subsequently got separated, and my mum remarried. So I basically have 3 dads - a biological one which I never see, an adoptive father who likes to ask silly questions and a stepfather who likes to fall asleep after too many brandies.
 
Round 4 - Yellow Card

So Crackers was born in July 1991, out of wedlock. His mother had a boyfriend and one night he was made.
Once his dad found out he was gonna be a father he darted. His mother then married the following December, to someone completely different, who became my adoptive father.
They subsequently got seperated, and my mum remarried. So I basically have 3 dads - a biological one which I never see, an adoptive father who likes to ask silly questions and a stepfather who likes to fall asleep after too many brandies.

Asks silly questions :lol: so perfect:lol::lol::lol:
 
I think I remember signing up for this one night when I was drunk but never checked back in.

I'm fecked aren't I?
 
I think I remember signing up for this one night when I was drunk but never checked back in.

I'm fecked aren't I?


Yes you did, post 117,
You lost 2k, won 1k, 3rd draw you need to write a letter and 4, you lost 1k
 
Yes you did, post 117,
You lost 2k, won 1k, 3rd draw you need to write a letter and 4, you lost 1k

Right so I need to write a letter to RiPs boss now and then see what challenge I get for this round next?

Or am I too late for round 3?
 
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Right so I need to write a letter to RiPs boss now and then see what challenge I get for this round next?

Or am I too late for round 3?

No, you’re not too late as we’re waiting for @Rooney in Paris to decide which one he likes, I believe, and the 4th has already been drawn on the last page and you lost 1k, so just write the letter.
 
Sorry @diarm , i didnt see this post.:lol:


The below posters have seen fit to ignore the rules. Now wait and watch....


@Cliche Guevara - 7 - 17 - Yellow Card! Post shit about yourself
@Gentleman Jim - 7 - 17 - Yellow Card! Post shit about yourself
@verminater - 7 - 17 - Yellow Card! Post shit about yourself
@Sied - 12 - 1 - Yellow Card! Post shit about yourself
@diarm - 5 - 13 - Challenged! Win it or beware!
@Ish - 3 - 13 - Challenged! Win it or beware!
@Jim Beam - 7 - 13 - Challenged! Win it or beware!
@schwalbe - 3 - 13 - Challenged! Win it or beware!
 
The below posters have seen fit to ignore the rules. Now wait and watch....


@Cliche Guevara - 7 - 17 - Yellow Card! Post shit about yourself
@Gentleman Jim - 7 - 17 - Yellow Card! Post shit about yourself
@verminater - 7 - 17 - Yellow Card! Post shit about yourself
@Sied - 12 - 1 - Yellow Card! Post shit about yourself
@diarm - 5 - 13 - Challenged! Win it or beware!
@Ish - 3 - 13 - Challenged! Win it or beware!
@Jim Beam - 7 - 13 - Challenged! Win it or beware!
@schwalbe - 3 - 13 - Challenged! Win it or beware!


Will their fate be swift like the swinging of the sword of justice? Or will you make them sweat, picking them off one by one?
 
Round 4 Task

FCBarca

I imagine him to be bald (by choice) with a rotating choice of facial hair depending on if Pep shaved this morning or not.
He randomly substitues Spanish words into everyday speak with no context at all. Has visited HMV within the last 18 months to purchase Oasis entire back catalogue and has convinced himself he would look good in a parka.
Has recently advertised his German translation dictionary and poorly fitting laderhosen on a local buy and sell but hasn't had a buyer at time of posting.
 
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The below posters have seen fit to ignore the rules. Now wait and watch....


@Cliche Guevara - 7 - 17 - Yellow Card! Post shit about yourself
@Gentleman Jim - 7 - 17 - Yellow Card! Post shit about yourself
@verminater - 7 - 17 - Yellow Card! Post shit about yourself
@Sied - 12 - 1 - Yellow Card! Post shit about yourself
@diarm - 5 - 13 - Challenged! Win it or beware!
@Ish - 3 - 13 - Challenged! Win it or beware!
@Jim Beam - 7 - 13 - Challenged! Win it or beware!
@schwalbe - 3 - 13 - Challenged! Win it or beware!

Should I write a letter, do the task 4, or just wait for the wrath of Gods?
 
Round 4 Task

FCBarca

I imagine him to be bald (by choice) with a rotating choice of facial hair depending on if Pep shaved this morning or not.
He randomly substitues Spanish words into everyday speak with no context at all. Has visited HMV within the last 18 months to purchase Oasis entire back catalogue and has convinced himself he would look good in a parka.
Has recently advertised his German translation dictionary and poorly fitting laderhosen in a local buy and sell but hasn't had a buyer at time of posting.

@fc barca
 
If my calculations are correct (highly debateable) I am £5000 to the good. With this hard earned cash I plan to buy Park Lane and Mayfair and put a hotel on each property.

I believe this wins me the game.
 
Will their fate be swift like the swinging of the sword of justice? Or will you make them sweat, picking them off one by one?

I'm not sure. I was thinking of renaming them all to

Douchebag1
Douchebag2

and so forth.

Any suggestions?

Should I write a letter, do the task 4, or just wait for the wrath of Gods?

Do Task 3 as you're supposed to. Or else....
 
Round 4 Task

FCBarca

I imagine him to be bald (by choice) with a rotating choice of facial hair depending on if Pep shaved this morning or not.
He randomly substitues Spanish words into everyday speak with no context at all. Has visited HMV within the last 18 months to purchase Oasis entire back catalogue and has convinced himself he would look good in a parka.
Has recently advertised his German translation dictionary and poorly fitting laderhosen in a local buy and sell but hasn't had a buyer at time of posting.

:lol: So good. So so good
 
OK then, here's my task for round 3 if it isn't too late @Edgar Allan Pillow:

Rooney
Paris
20 décembre 2017
Re: Mme Kenwright
Handbags Department
Galeries Lafayette, Paris


Dear Mme Kenwright,

Greetings from le deuxième étage! You may recall our recent rendezvous at Maison du Wings on the Champs Elysees? I was entertaining a dear friend; the esteemed Mme Cina and I confess, was rather not myself as the exertion of the weekend in question had begun to take its toll. Even still, the magical moment of our meeting was one I shall forever cherish.

Since that wonderful November evening, I have found myself quite unable to keep from wondering when our paths might cross again. Alas, you can imagine my dismay to discover this week that you are the direct supérieur of my own patron; Mr. Sam.

After consulted with some dear friends at a local café, I have considered a range of options; from defecating in the display merchandise to leaving croissants et jus d'orange on the step outside your office door one morning. Fearing these gestures would be neither grand nor romantic enough to woo your attention, I have instead resolved to write you this letter and beg you might consider a more intimate rendezvous at a date and time of your choosing?

While I can well understand your trepidation at the idea of an office romance, and understand the mal vu in which our colleagues might see such an affair, I can assure you my intentions are pure. I should be quire content to conduct our illicit evening in the private of my luxurious studio bedroom where it is unlikely we shall be disturbed by anyone who might know us. Especially if you could make it on a Tuesday or Thursday evening when my mother is out to bridge.

You can rest assured that such an evening would leave you stimulated and satisfied to full effect. Although I am yet to lose my own virtue, I have spent many years studying the literary works of romantic giants such as Plechazunga, Bazalini and AkaAkuma and have spent endless hours practising on my fulham bear at home. I have commenced a program of rigorous personal training in preparation for what shall undoubtedly be a night of pure passion, copulation and attacking of space.

I await your response with bated breath.


À toi, pour toujours,

Rooney
 
You can rest assured that such an evening would leave you stimulated and satisfied to full effect. Although I am yet to lose my own virtue, I have spent many years studying the literary works of romantic giants such as Plechazunga, Bazalini and AkaAkuma and have spent endless hours practising on my fulham bear at home. I have commenced a program of rigorous personal training in preparation for what shall undoubtedly be a night of pure passion, copulation and attacking of space.

Ffs :lol:
 
@Edgar Allan Pillow

Round 3 Task


Dear Madam,

this will sound a little bit awkward and must admit I had second doubts about writing you on the subject in the first place considering that we're business related. But, life is short and at the end of the day, I truly know that I would regret more the choice of not doing it, then doing it.

Will cut the story short and say that I grow incredibly fond of you from the very first moment I laid my eyes on you. So, I will take this chance and propose a dinner in my favourite restaurant Pierre Gagnaire, 6 Rue Balzac.
I'm fully aware that this proposition may find you slightly surprised and to tell you the truth I'm a little bit surprised myself for writing it in the very first place but the desire to at least take you on the dinner is something I couldn't pass on. If you find this inappropriate or don't find the proposition interesting I will fully understand and as the business side of things is concerned there are no worries about my future professional behaviour.

Will be totally honest in the end and say that I was so nervous about writing this letter that I drink a bottle of my finest red wine to get a little bit of courage. As you see it did work out for me. Not only that but I will go full out here and say that I would basically bang the living shit out of you and that's not something I think I ever said in such a straightforward way to another woman.

"C’est cela l’amour, tout donner, tout sacrifier sans espoir de retour"
Warm regards,

Rooney in Paris





Next morning:
Dear Madam,

can you please and for the love of God forget about the last sentence of my e-mail. The dinner proposition still stands and would be actually a perfect chance to laugh this little bravado of mine.

If not, would sincerely appreciate if I still have my job.

Warmest regards,
RiP
 
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Oh dear, I didn't realise I had to do the task, I was patiently waiting for a random poster to decide my fate.
My cock-up, I shall take the punishment like Cina's mum, on the chin (and face in general).
 
Round 4 Task

FCBarca

I imagine him to be bald (by choice) with a rotating choice of facial hair depending on if Pep shaved this morning or not.
He randomly substitues Spanish words into everyday speak with no context at all. Has visited HMV within the last 18 months to purchase Oasis entire back catalogue and has convinced himself he would look good in a parka.
Has recently advertised his German translation dictionary and poorly fitting laderhosen in a local buy and sell but hasn't had a buyer at time of posting.
You've met him haven't you?
 
Round 4 task

Despite the demands of running Thorn Industries @Damien makes time to meet all new employees and give them a tour of the executive suite, canteen, break out areas and ritual sacrifice pit.

Despite a complex relationship with his first nanny he has overcome adversity to lead the company to the verge of a major breakthrough in Artificial intelligence, developed from extensive experiments on what he calls "a controlled group under my instruction". He says it will "really put the rottweiller among the pigeons!"

With a procession of New York society women seen on his arm at movie premieres, there has been speculation about his private life, but he has always professed to be "married to the job......or in the service of our Dark Lord!"

A keen squash player and erotic art collector, little is known about working conditions within the company or it's elaborate psychological experiments. However one source who wished to remain anonymous said..."I for one welcome Damien as harbinger of the Dark Overlord!"