Film Jurassic World Dominion

[nimic]

The premise of the movie is absolutely insane, even more insane than all the other Jurassic Park movies. A handful of dinosaurs escape, and suddenly they're threatening civilization? Most dinosaurs aren't any scarier than polar bears, and we're exterminating them as an unintended by-product of our way of living.

Nitpicking aside, I'm not at all excited. The newer films are just... bad. Not that the originals were that great either. The first was good, the second was fine, the third was garbage.

 

[Mr Pigeon]

Admit it. You just hate the feathers. You hate the change the feathers represent. I for one will not stand for your anti-feather agenda. 21st Century Jurassic Park is feathers4life. Fish with feathers. Raptors with feathers. Chris Pratt with feathers. This is the future. Deal with it!

Oh alright, I admit it. Why does everything have to get feathers nowadays? Having feathers used to be OUR thing and now we suddenly have to share feathers with other creatures from different time periods. Haven't they got their own things back in whatever age they came from like scales and all that?

 

[Mr Pigeon]

but did you manage to catch a glimpse of that cool flying pigeonsaur at the end? June 10. I'm in

Please see above. Bloody birdist agenda veiled as inclusion for FEATHERLESS dinosaurs.

 

[Mockney]

I will concede that the new Raptor design is pretty meh… they’re some boring blue/grey colour scheme, like an early 2000s Audi TT owned by a dickhead who may or may not have been in So Solid at one time… they were cooler when they were … whatever colour they were originally? Brown? Was that it? Who knows. But they’d be better with feathers is what I’m saying. If you’re gonna do something, do feathers. 2022 is all about feathers. I’ve heard from good sources that Dune Pt 2 is just gonna be wall to wall feathers. And it’s about time if you ask me.

 

[Ish]

Please see above. Bloody birdist agenda veiled as inclusion for FEATHERLESS dinosaurs.

 

[Sweet Square]

Chris Pratt currently has a Tom Cruise scientology era vibe about him.

Anyway the film looks shite.

 

[Mockney]

Chris Pratt currently has a Tom Cruise scientology era vibe about him.

Anyway the film looks shite.

The original was a very powerful progressive trans allegory about the dignified survival of gender non conforming slaves resisting the capitalist exploitation and oppression forced on them by evil Scottish people…. I’m disappointed, but not surprised to see you so dismissive of the franchise. It’s no ‘Titanic’ I guess!

 

[Sweet Square]

The original was a very powerful progressive trans allegory about the dignified survival of gender non conforming slaves resisting the capitalist exploitation and oppression forced on them by evil Scottish people…. I’m disappointed, but not surprised to see you so dismissive of the franchise. It’s no ‘Titanic’ I guess!

Sadly not many things are. If Cameron had made
jurassic park, the US Military would have invaded the island half through the film and been utterly destroyed by the dinosaurs(Just countless scenes of fat marines getting chewed to death by the T-Rex)and all the main characters apart from laura dern and the children would been rightfully killed.

Instead a giant island has to be destroy so the audience can believe that one day a dude from New Zealand might become a somewhat less shitty father.

Cameron and Spielberg are very much the good and evil of Hollywood.

 

[Mockney]

Sadly not many things are. If Cameron had made
jurassic park, the US Military would have invaded the island half through the film and been utterly destroyed by the dinosaurs(Just countless scenes of fat marines getting chewed to death by the T-Rex)and all the main characters apart from laura dern and the children would been rightfully killed.

Instead a giant island has to be destroy so the audience can believe that one day a dude from New Zealand might become a somewhat less shitty father.

Cameron and Spielberg are very much the good and evil of Hollywood.

Your thesis might hold, if it weren’t for the fact that Cameron not only killed the strong embodiment of latinx female empowerment he invented (literally, since the actress was white) in ‘Vasques’ in Aliens… but also the real life version he somehow wished into existence in Michelle Rodrigues in Avatar…

As such, I can only conclude that he hates strong Latino women as much as he loves browning up white women to play them…

No women die in the OG Jurassic Park… and only one guy is blacked up in the sequel! (Plus Jeff Goldblum’s black daughter kills a Raptor with gymnastics.. which makes up for it… probably)

Ipso
#CancelJamesCameron

 

[amolbhatia50k]

Like with Terminator, I pretend these sequels dont really exist as they're so utterly inconsequential compared to what was one of the great cinematic blockbuster experiences (the original).

 

[amolbhatia50k]

Looks terrible as expected. These new JP movies feel like generic action /blockbuster films but with dinosaurs in them whereas the original felt authentic. Eventually someone needs to make a horror themed JP series. A horror-like and grittier tone would suit the theme far more.

 

[Tarrou]

I'm glad the series has evolved beyond the "a bunch of people go to an island and get fecked up by dinosaurs" phase

it was getting hard to believe that people in the jurassic park universe kept wanting to go to the dino island

 

[noodlehair]

I'm glad the series has evolved beyond the "a bunch of people go to an island and get fecked up by dinosaurs" phase

it was getting hard to believe that people in the jurassic park universe kept wanting to go to the dino island

The second one had a t-rex wandering about in a city, for a little bit. I actually genuinely like The Lost World. It's really rubbish, but its still fun.

The third one is really rubbish, and not fun. The new ones are like watching your drunk dad try to take his socks off and climb into bed, and brush his teeth all at the exact same time. Incoherent, pointless, awkward to watch, and only vaguely amusing because you can take the piss afterwards.

I was trying to think of what the stupidest moment in any Jurassic Park film is. I've narrowed it down to one of either Jeff Goldblum's daughter defeating the dinosaurs with gymnastics, Alan Grant and co watching a dinosaur smashing through a concrete and iron wall with ease, and then immediately holding it off and forcing it to give up by hiding in a wooden barn and locking the door, the theme park in Jurassic World having air raid sirens installed just in case of a fatal flying dinosaur attack, the t-rex and the raptor nodding at each other after defeating the made up dinosaur, Chris Pratt riding a motorbike with the raptors only for everyone else on foot to just easily catch up with him and render the motorbike completely pointless, the bit where him and the security guy go into the dinosaur enclosure and open it so the dinosaur can get out, etc....but I've come to the conclusion that the easy winner is basically the whole of the most recent film.

 

[Mockney]

I liked when Bryce Dallas’ character admonishes Jake Johnson for the poor taste of wearing a T-shirt with the OG Jurassic Park logo on as “people died”… Despite the entire park she runs and is currently standing in being based on, built on and named after Jurassic Park, right down to the same identical logo, just in a slightly different colour.

 

[Vidyoyo]

Like 99% of blockbuster movies, they've become too reliant on CGI, rendering all good ideas moot in the face of people going, 'Well, we could do this'.

It's a shame it had to come to this but that's how it be.

 

[Solius]

The second one had a t-rex wandering about in a city, for a little bit. I actually genuinely like The Lost World. It's really rubbish, but its still fun.

The third one is really rubbish, and not fun. The new ones are like watching your drunk dad try to take his socks off and climb into bed, and brush his teeth all at the exact same time. Incoherent, pointless, awkward to watch, and only vaguely amusing because you can take the piss afterwards.

I was trying to think of what the stupidest moment in any Jurassic Park film is. I've narrowed it down to one of either Jeff Goldblum's daughter defeating the dinosaurs with gymnastics, Alan Grant and co watching a dinosaur smashing through a concrete and iron wall with ease, and then immediately holding it off and forcing it to give up by hiding in a wooden barn and locking the door, the theme park in Jurassic World having air raid sirens installed just in case of a fatal flying dinosaur attack, the t-rex and the raptor nodding at each other after defeating the made up dinosaur, Chris Pratt riding a motorbike with the raptors only for everyone else on foot to just easily catch up with him and render the motorbike completely pointless, the bit where him and the security guy go into the dinosaur enclosure and open it so the dinosaur can get out, etc....but I've come to the conclusion that the easy winner is basically the whole of the most recent film.

The correct answer is the woman outrunning a T-Rex in heels. The same T-Rex that nearly caught up to a jeep in the originals.

 

[RedSky]

The correct answer is the woman outrunning a T-Rex in heels. The same T-Rex that nearly caught up to a jeep in the originals.

Well Solius. Dutch researchers have calculated recently the walking speed of a T-Rex at between 4.5/6.7 mph. On average a woman can run at around 6.5mph. If you watch the scene closely you will see that Claire immediately starts to run (in her heels) while Rexy starts off walking. Rexy doesn't actually ever sprint but instead does nothing more than a fast walk (a jog you could say) which would mean that Claire could well have outrun Rexy given she only had to run a total of 100 yards.

"but she was running in heels!". Any runner can tell you that the best sprinting action is to run hard on your toes. Which means that running in heels is actually the best running shoe possible, this is confirmed by the fact the Olympics bans running in heels as it provides too much of an advantage. *drops mic*

 

[Solius]

Well Solius. Dutch researchers have calculated recently the walking speed of a T-Rex at between 4.5/6.7 mph. On average a woman can run at around 6.5mph. If you watch the scene closely you will see that Claire immediately starts to run (in her heels) while Rexy starts off walking. Rexy doesn't actually ever sprint but instead does nothing more than a fast walk (a jog you could say) which would mean that Claire could well have outrun Rexy given she only had to run a total of 100 yards.

"but she was running in heels!". Any runner can tell you that the best sprinting action is to run hard on your toes. Which means that running in heels is actually the best running shoe possible, this is confirmed by the fact the Olympics bans running in heels as it provides too much of an advantage. *drops mic*

:|

 

[Mr Pigeon]

Well Solius. Dutch researchers have calculated recently the walking speed of a T-Rex at between 4.5/6.7 mph. On average a woman can run at around 6.5mph. If you watch the scene closely you will see that Claire immediately starts to run (in her heels) while Rexy starts off walking. Rexy doesn't actually ever sprint but instead does nothing more than a fast walk (a jog you could say) which would mean that Claire could well have outrun Rexy given she only had to run a total of 100 yards.

"but she was running in heels!". Any runner can tell you that the best sprinting action is to run hard on your toes. Which means that running in heels is actually the best running shoe possible, this is confirmed by the fact the Olympics bans running in heels as it provides too much of an advantage. *drops mic*

I'm sure that she was wearing Olympic quality running heels and not you standard high heel shoes that fall apart after three seconds.

And that wasn't a mic you dropped, it was your dribbling bib.

 

[RedSky]

I'm sure that she was wearing Olympic quality running heels and not you standard high heel shoes that fall apart after three seconds.

And that wasn't a mic you dropped, it was your dribbling bib.

Quit your yapping you feather dino wannabee. Just a dumb ass Pigeon. I bet all the Pigeons are very upset at how awesome and cool feather dino is. Look at that motherfecker. Scary bastard, he makes having feathers fecking cool as feck.

 

[Oranges038]

Didn't think it could get much worse than the last Scooby Doo haunted mansion version.

Should have called it Jurassic Park Reunion.

I'll probably watch it, but I won't pay to watch it.

Start of the trailer reminds me of this.

 

[Mr Pigeon]

Quit your yapping you feather dino wannabee. Just a dumb ass Pigeon. I bet all the Pigeons are very upset at how awesome and cool feather dino is. Look at that motherfecker. Scary bastard, he makes having feathers fecking cool as feck.

 

[AaronRedDevil]

Can they please just give me colonial Marines but with Dinos

 

[noodlehair]

The correct answer is the woman outrunning a T-Rex in heels. The same T-Rex that nearly caught up to a jeep in the originals.

Also the bit where the new guy falls about 20ft into the raptor cage, and then Chris Pratt is so concerned by his welfare that he runs into the cage to protect him, by erm, pointing at the raptors to distract them, then after the new guy crawls out of the cage, it just gets completely ignored that he almost certainly will have broken his leg and require immediate medical attention. Instead Pratt just says something like " don't turn your back on the cage" and walks off leaving him lying on the floor in the mud.

 

[Welsh Wonder]

I personally dislike the bits where Chris Pratt

 

[The Corinthian]

This looks so bad that it’s good.

 

[Salt Bailly]

I don't buy that Dr. Alan Grant would ever appear that well-groomed.

 

[Edgar Allan Pillow]

Sam Neill is still more charismatic than Chris Pratt!

Really can't believe the premise tthat dinosaurs are apex predators in modern society. Ffs, they wouldn't last a week against modern weaponry!

 

[GBBQ]

Saw this tonight and it’s really not good. They’ve run out of ideas for the overall story so just resort to replaying some of the greatest hits.

 

[Pscholes18]

So more Pratt running g around with his pet Raptors?

 

[Rado_N]

Saw the trailer for this when we went to see Top Gun and it looks fecking trash.

It’s a shame they’ve dragged all the cast from the original movie into it.

 

[RORY65]

At one point Laura Dern says that Jeff Goldblum "slid into her DMs", what are we doing here? This movie is fecking rubbish, impressively it's the worst of this very bad trilogy, and not even in a fun way, something it does have in common with the rest of this very bad trilogy.

 

[Bobade]

Looks awful. For my money the worst bit of the new ones is where the dinosaur in the cage does a little smile as it pretends to be knocked out then tricks the guy in the cage.

When I saw the old team in the trailer I actually found it offensive. And surprising, since they all have worked in some really understated, arty stuff since. Guess you can't turn down a big payout, don't blame them for it.

 

[rimaldo]

i keep emailing speilberg and telling him “dinos with lasers or something” but he keeps ignoring it and churning out shit ones instead.

 

[ChrisNelson]

Went expecting a 8.5/9 out of 10 and got a 7 at best.

It was always going to be difficult ending the story because all of the other films have been about containment whereas this film focuses on the fact that dinosaurs are out there in the real world.

The plot is weak and at times it just feels like they're throwing action at you for the sake of it because heaven forbid there could be 10 minutes of calm to try and build the story and put some background behind it.

To be fair it was my first trip to the cinema since Top Gun so the bar was set ridiculously high but I do feel like they could have done so much better.

 

[cyberman]

Starlord roped a dinosaur and held it in place, with the 30 tonne Dino trying it’s best to break free, within the first 10 minutes.
That is all.

 

[Solius]

Saw the trailer for this when we went to see Top Gun and it looks fecking trash.

It’s a shame they’ve dragged all the cast from the original movie into it.

Someone was talking to me about this film and when I said I'm not a fan of the newer films she went "But this has Sam Neill in it". And that's apparently all it takes.

Shite set of films.

 

[Solius]

Went expecting a 8.5/9 out of 10 and got a 7 at best.

It was always going to be difficult ending the story because all of the other films have been about containment whereas this film focuses on the fact that dinosaurs are out there in the real world.

The plot is weak and at times it just feels like they're throwing action at you for the sake of it because heaven forbid there could be 10 minutes of calm to try and build the story and put some background behind it.

To be fair it was my first trip to the cinema since Top Gun so the bar was set ridiculously high but I do feel like they could have done so much better.

Were you kicked in the head by a horse?

 

[Donaldo]

 

[Tarrou]

I’ve never been so sure a film will be gash in all my life

I’ll probably still watch it though