Oooh-Ahhh Vote McGrath! - McGrath VICTORY: A New Dawn OFFICIAL

SirAnderson

Full Member
Joined
Aug 21, 2014
Messages
24,363
Location
Johannesburg, South Africa
rimaldo said:
act 1, scene 3.

“you were gone ages. where have you been?” dawn yawned as she stretched herself awake on the sofa. “what’s that on your sleeve?”

“everywhere and nowhere. just clearing my head. sorry i’ve been a bit off this afternoon. seeing you so anxious and worried about your talent threw me for 6 i think.”

“oh you’re so sweet. i feel better about it all now. it’s just an amateur competition, i was being silly.”

dawn’s husband smiled warmly “do you need anything from the kitchen? i’m just going to grab a drink then head to the study to catch up on some admin and some work.”

“no thanks. i’m going to have a shower then hit the sack. don’t be long.”

dawn’s husband wasn’t going to make a promise he couldn’t keep. he kissed her goodnight on the forehead.

“ergh. you smell really bad.”

“i think i trod in something on the walk. i’ll sort it now. night, my love.”

dawn’s husband headed for the pc. he opened internet explorer as usual, quadruple clicking on one of the 5 internet explorer shortcuts he’d placed on the desktop, loudly lamenting the fact the shit computer had opened two world wide internets again. with the drama over, he began one finger typing.

h t t p s ; / / p o l l . f m / 1 0 8 9 1 7 2 5

“why the feck doesn’t it work?! dawn’s nobbled the link in an attempt to monopolise all the votes. paddymandering at its finest!” he thought to himself. a good 15 minutes went by before he realised his mistake. it took a further 5 minutes for him to one finger type it correctly.

click dawn mcgrath. click vote. close window. open internet explorer. feck. two internet explorers. one finger type url. click dawn mcgrath. click vote. close window.

“how have i been doing this all night and not moved the percentage bar along at all? either duffy has nobbled this or she’s getting votes at the same rate of knots. what a cheating bitch. i’ll need an army.”

he mused for a while. where could he find the kind of people with so little going on in their lives that they would be willing to spend their time and energy voting on this? where could he find the right profile of feckless wonders to gormlessly carry out the same, repetitive task with little to no pay off? “a-ha! i’ve got it! social platforms!”

dawn’s husband clicked on his favourites. “now where are they?”

he scrolled down past the first few-

“hot top down naked asian men - google image results”

“is cheese a good present? - ask jeeves”

“about:blank”

“about:blank”

“do you have to report hitting a dog in your car to the police - google results”

“no, it’s none of these.” he thought to himself. keep going. “ah here we are. redcafe.net. but first, a little reward after all that clicking. hot top down naked asian men. ah yes.
Click to expand...
My stomach hurts :lol:
I've let me wife read the first one, as I've kept her abreast of what's been going on, she's laughing herself silly!

This is perfect. Can't wait to read the next scene!
 

P-Nut

fan of well-known French footballer Fabinho
Joined
Oct 16, 2015
Messages
21,661
Location
Oldham, Greater Manchester
rimaldo said:
act 1, scene 1

“oh i’ll never be able to paint anything decent in 4 hours and just look who i’m up against.”

“nonsense, you’ll do great. art has always come so naturally to you, my love. just enjoy it and pretend you’re the only one here. after all, you’re the only one i ever see.”

a warm smile inched its way across dawn’s face. her husband had always been so supportive of her and her silly little hobby. “it doesn’t matter if i win or not,” she thought to herself, “i’m just here to have fun, art will win regardless.”

“paint pots, ready!? artists, ready?! three, two, one peep”

it was art-off time. for the contestants, the 4 hours passed by in the blinking of an eye. a whirlwind of palette mixing, a series of deft brush strokes, periods of prolonged admiration of the subject piece. well for all except one, who managed to do 4 hours of painting in just 20 minutes, tongue lolloping, squeezing a blob of green paint directly onto the canvas before drawing a serious of afros in a manner which could only be described as shitly. for them the 4 hours felt like an eternity.

before the remaining 4 knew it, the timer buzzed and it was brushes down, well all brushes down except for duffy’s. she continued to touch up her painting long after the allotted time had ended. dawn noticed but didn’t care, she was so happy that she’d managed to shake off her early nerves and deliver a piece of work she was happy with. duffy’s antics hadn’t escaped the notice of dawn’s husband either, he had already been riled up by duffy earlier that day. she had pulled him up on parking in a disabled bay at the coffee shop as “the other spaces are over 20 foot away and i’m too important to walk.” that bitch must pay, he thought to himself silently inside his head, before chucking loudly outside his head. immediately dawn’s husband noticed everyone was staring at him. it seems he had cut mr. feile off mid speech, just as he was lamenting the fact his wife, mrs. phobail, couldn’t be at the art-off this afternoon after her recent passing. dawn’s husband bowed his head, cheeks burning with shame, slowly stewing and lamenting the embarrassment he had just suffered. he blamed duffy. “oh i’ll get that bitch, i’ll get that bitch” he muttered under his breath, again, causing mr. feile to stop his speech and ask “sorry what was that?” dawn’s husband decided it would be better if he waited in the car.

dawn soon joined him and asked him what the matter was, her art buzz slowly fading after her husband’s antics. “nothing, dear, i’m so proud of you. let’s see if we can win this thing.”

“oh i don’t really care about that but it would be nice if my work was appreciated.”

“leave it with me, my everything.” he said, jovially but obviously schemingly.

dawn’s husband pulled out of the disabled parking bay and noticed duffy taking the time to clear litter from outside the coffee shop “it’s on, it’s on” he mouthed to her as they slowly drove by. this confused duffy but she soon got over it when she realised there was a disabled orphan 15p short of a coffee and a croissant and that needed both her immediate assistance and her undivided attention.
Click to expand...
'Could only be described as shitly' :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

Macern

Pee pee pants
Joined
May 11, 2014
Messages
13,538
Location
Oslo, Norway
rimaldo said:
act 1, scene 3.

“you were gone ages. where have you been?” dawn yawned as she stretched herself awake on the sofa. “what’s that on your sleeve?”

“everywhere and nowhere. just clearing my head. sorry i’ve been a bit off this afternoon. seeing you so anxious and worried about your talent threw me for 6 i think.”

“oh you’re so sweet. i feel better about it all now. it’s just an amateur competition, i was being silly.”

dawn’s husband smiled warmly “do you need anything from the kitchen? i’m just going to grab a drink then head to the study to catch up on some admin and some work.”

“no thanks. i’m going to have a shower then hit the sack. don’t be long.”

dawn’s husband wasn’t going to make a promise he couldn’t keep. he kissed her goodnight on the forehead.

“ergh. you smell really bad.”

“i think i trod in something on the walk. i’ll sort it now. night, my love.”

dawn’s husband headed for the pc. he opened internet explorer as usual, quadruple clicking on one of the 5 internet explorer shortcuts he’d placed on the desktop, loudly lamenting the fact the shit computer had opened two world wide internets again. with the drama over, he began one finger typing.

h t t p s ; / / p o l l . f m / 1 0 8 9 1 7 2 5

“why the feck doesn’t it work?! dawn’s nobbled the link in an attempt to monopolise all the votes. paddymandering at its finest!” he thought to himself. a good 15 minutes went by before he realised his mistake. it took a further 5 minutes for him to one finger type it correctly.

click dawn mcgrath. click vote. close window. open internet explorer. feck. two internet explorers. one finger type url. click dawn mcgrath. click vote. close window.

“how have i been doing this all night and not moved the percentage bar along at all? either duffy has nobbled this or she’s getting votes at the same rate of knots. what a cheating bitch. i’ll need an army.”

he mused for a while. where could he find the kind of people with so little going on in their lives that they would be willing to spend their time and energy voting on this? where could he find the right profile of feckless wonders to gormlessly carry out the same, repetitive task with little to no pay off? “a-ha! i’ve got it! social platforms!”

dawn’s husband clicked on his favourites. “now where are they?”

he scrolled down past the first few-

“hot top down naked asian men - google image results”

“is cheese a good present? - ask jeeves”

“about:blank”

“about:blank”

“do you have to report hitting a dog in your car to the police - google results”

“no, it’s none of these.” he thought to himself. keep going. “ah here we are. redcafe.net. but first, a little reward after all that clicking. hot top down naked asian men. ah yes.
Click to expand...
Oh my days:lol:
 

McGrathsipan

Dawn’s less famous husband
Joined
Jun 25, 2009
Messages
24,710
Location
Dublin
rimaldo said:
act 1, scene 1

“oh i’ll never be able to paint anything decent in 4 hours and just look who i’m up against.”

“nonsense, you’ll do great. art has always come so naturally to you, my love. just enjoy it and pretend you’re the only one here. after all, you’re the only one i ever see.”

a warm smile inched its way across dawn’s face. her husband had always been so supportive of her and her silly little hobby. “it doesn’t matter if i win or not,” she thought to herself, “i’m just here to have fun, art will win regardless.”

“paint pots, ready!? artists, ready?! three, two, one peep”

it was art-off time. for the contestants, the 4 hours passed by in the blinking of an eye. a whirlwind of palette mixing, a series of deft brush strokes, periods of prolonged admiration of the subject piece. well for all except one, who managed to do 4 hours of painting in just 20 minutes, tongue lolloping, squeezing a blob of green paint directly onto the canvas before drawing a serious of afros in a manner which could only be described as shitly. for them the 4 hours felt like an eternity.

before the remaining 4 knew it, the timer buzzed and it was brushes down, well all brushes down except for duffy’s. she continued to touch up her painting long after the allotted time had ended. dawn noticed but didn’t care, she was so happy that she’d managed to shake off her early nerves and deliver a piece of work she was happy with. duffy’s antics hadn’t escaped the notice of dawn’s husband either, he had already been riled up by duffy earlier that day. she had pulled him up on parking in a disabled bay at the coffee shop as “the other spaces are over 20 foot away and i’m too important to walk.” that bitch must pay, he thought to himself silently inside his head, before chucking loudly outside his head. immediately dawn’s husband noticed everyone was staring at him. it seems he had cut mr. feile off mid speech, just as he was lamenting the fact his wife, mrs. phobail, couldn’t be at the art-off this afternoon after her recent passing. dawn’s husband bowed his head, cheeks burning with shame, slowly stewing and lamenting the embarrassment he had just suffered. he blamed duffy. “oh i’ll get that bitch, i’ll get that bitch” he muttered under his breath, again, causing mr. feile to stop his speech and ask “sorry what was that?” dawn’s husband decided it would be better if he waited in the car.

dawn soon joined him and asked him what the matter was, her art buzz slowly fading after her husband’s antics. “nothing, dear, i’m so proud of you. let’s see if we can win this thing.”

“oh i don’t really care about that but it would be nice if my work was appreciated.”

“leave it with me, my everything.” he said, jovially but obviously schemingly.

dawn’s husband pulled out of the disabled parking bay and noticed duffy taking the time to clear litter from outside the coffee shop “it’s on, it’s on” he mouthed to her as they slowly drove by. this confused duffy but she soon got over it when she realised there was a disabled orphan 15p short of a coffee and a croissant and that needed both her immediate assistance and her undivided attention.
Click to expand...

I have just sent this to Dawn - she rang me in tears laughing

She said to tell you thanks very much , it has released the tension of the past few days and she feels like she has seen a doctor!


:lol: :lol:
 

McGrathsipan

Dawn’s less famous husband
Joined
Jun 25, 2009
Messages
24,710
Location
Dublin
Did I tell you that Dawn is almost blind in one eye?

She has macular degeneration so pretty much 90% vision gone in an eye.
 

Solius

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Staff
Joined
Dec 31, 2007
Messages
86,627
McGrathsipan said:
Did I tell you that Dawn is almost blind in one eye?

She has macular degeneration so pretty much 90% vision gone in an eye.
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear! Makes her an even more deserving winner tbh.

Any news on the results?
 

Cheimoon

Made of cheese
Scout
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
14,339
Location
Canada
Supports
no-one in particular
:lol:

Yeah, maybe it might be good to keep this thread out of public view... :wenger:
 

PoTMS

Full Member
Joined
Dec 15, 2016
Messages
16,396
Excellent. All we need now is someone to record Féile an Phobail Dawn over the Champions League Varane tune.
 

altodevil

Odds winner of 'Odds or Evens 2023/2024'
Joined
Oct 16, 2013
Messages
17,527
Should be a redcafe wine cellar, full of threads like this that aren't suitable for public viewing.
 
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