Big day today.
Oooh-Ahhh Vote McGrath! - McGrath VICTORY: A New Dawn OFFICIAL
- Thread starter McGrathsipan
- Start date
Surely soon.
Will it be Gerry Adams who presents Dawn with the award? I've seen his face a few times on that facebook group.
Derry got Jeremy Corban so who knows probably Jonny Aldair.
act 2, scene 2
“this isn’t what i wanted!”
*coffee mug smashing against a piece of art the likes of which only an artist would consider art*
“it’s not about the art anymore. it’s just like an election. mps and tv stars wading in, strangers and people that normally wouldn’t piss on art if art was allergic to piss voting for me just because it’s me, not what i drew. i wish i’d never painted that stupid landscape.”
“i did it for us. just think what that £100 could do for us. it would be massive. me, the engineer/accountant i think i am. you, with your successful engineer/accountant’s wife type job. we’d be set for life! and people do like your art, that’s why they want to vote for you. they think duffy is throwing her weight around and not giving you a fair chance. weaselling politicians for votes, appearing on tv and posting all kinds of social media nonsense. she’s probably voted on behalf of dead relatives. the poll is so easy to rig. i’m cheating like feck to get the win and she’s still pulling ahead.”
“see. this is what i mean! i don’t want to win if this is what winning costs. you might win the competition this way but you’ll lose me.”
“i’m too far in to pull back now. i need to see this through, not just for us, for them. don’t you see? some of those virgins might have given up a chance of stammering in front of a woman before being rejected for this cause. i owe it to them. we owe it to them.”
“i don’t like what all this has done to you. you were always so sweet, so supportive, so loving. i remember how sweet you were with dear old marie meredeth. her ms was playing up something chronic, she was shaking like a shitting you know what. you were so supportive, telling her everyone knows how talented she is and how a silly little disease wasn’t going to get in the way of another meredeth masterpiece. how it didn’t define her or make her who she was. she has phoned me to thank me twice since then. saying how you were a ray of light and a credit to me. if she could see you now. i wouldn’t be surprised to find out you actually slag her off behind her back.”
“of course not.”
“just stop it all. i don’t want it.”
“and to think colin thought you’d give me a blowie for all this.”
“who the feck is colin? one of your sad little internet friends? and what exactly is redcafe? sounds like a sordid little grief hole for silly little men. is this another mid-life crisis? i thought you’d got that out of your system with that ridiculous biker phase. riding around in leathers, nodding at everyone you passed. everyone thought you were a dick.”
“i can’t believe you’re being like this. can’t you see i need this? a chance to be at the cool table, a chance to win something. a chance to be relevant. *sobbing noises* i don’t need this right now. i’m so stressed and so busy with trying to win this competition.”
“take all the time you need. i’m done with it all.”
“you’ll change your tune when we’ve won.”
“this isn’t what i wanted!”
*coffee mug smashing against a piece of art the likes of which only an artist would consider art*
“it’s not about the art anymore. it’s just like an election. mps and tv stars wading in, strangers and people that normally wouldn’t piss on art if art was allergic to piss voting for me just because it’s me, not what i drew. i wish i’d never painted that stupid landscape.”
“i did it for us. just think what that £100 could do for us. it would be massive. me, the engineer/accountant i think i am. you, with your successful engineer/accountant’s wife type job. we’d be set for life! and people do like your art, that’s why they want to vote for you. they think duffy is throwing her weight around and not giving you a fair chance. weaselling politicians for votes, appearing on tv and posting all kinds of social media nonsense. she’s probably voted on behalf of dead relatives. the poll is so easy to rig. i’m cheating like feck to get the win and she’s still pulling ahead.”
“see. this is what i mean! i don’t want to win if this is what winning costs. you might win the competition this way but you’ll lose me.”
“i’m too far in to pull back now. i need to see this through, not just for us, for them. don’t you see? some of those virgins might have given up a chance of stammering in front of a woman before being rejected for this cause. i owe it to them. we owe it to them.”
“i don’t like what all this has done to you. you were always so sweet, so supportive, so loving. i remember how sweet you were with dear old marie meredeth. her ms was playing up something chronic, she was shaking like a shitting you know what. you were so supportive, telling her everyone knows how talented she is and how a silly little disease wasn’t going to get in the way of another meredeth masterpiece. how it didn’t define her or make her who she was. she has phoned me to thank me twice since then. saying how you were a ray of light and a credit to me. if she could see you now. i wouldn’t be surprised to find out you actually slag her off behind her back.”
“of course not.”
“just stop it all. i don’t want it.”
“and to think colin thought you’d give me a blowie for all this.”
“who the feck is colin? one of your sad little internet friends? and what exactly is redcafe? sounds like a sordid little grief hole for silly little men. is this another mid-life crisis? i thought you’d got that out of your system with that ridiculous biker phase. riding around in leathers, nodding at everyone you passed. everyone thought you were a dick.”
“i can’t believe you’re being like this. can’t you see i need this? a chance to be at the cool table, a chance to win something. a chance to be relevant. *sobbing noises* i don’t need this right now. i’m so stressed and so busy with trying to win this competition.”
“take all the time you need. i’m done with it all.”
“you’ll change your tune when we’ve won.”
That line got me.
act 2, scene 3
*windscreen wiper noises*
“i can’t believe duffy has done this. call your stupid mp friend. call your tv chums. post your posts but you made this personal. you remember that. you brought family in to this. you brought home lives into this. you turned my wife against me. you’ll pay for that. oh you’ll pay for that.”
dawn’s husband’s mood was dark, as dark as the rain filled clouds that lashed its wrath against the windscreen of dawn’s husbands car. the pounding of the rainwater off the road loosing the caked on blood and dog fur from the underside of the car and grill. he had spiralled out of control. he was in danger of literally spinning out of control, swerving violently all over the road, taking greedy swigs from his lactose free milk drink in between his chuntering about duffy. he wasn’t sure if he was lactose intolerant, but it pays to be safe.
he blamed duffy for it all. not just the art competition, she was now the root cause of everything that had gone wrong in his life. she had always been there in the background, pulling strings and ensuring he failed. she had to pay. if she was punished for her actions then it made up for everything. this was his purgatory, duffy’s demise his everlasting salvation.
“i can’t go home until this is finished. dawn will take me back when it’s done.” he assured himself. “just give her time to cool off.”
dawn’s husband pulled into co-op petrol station to stock up on provisions. he wasn’t sure how long he’d be away from home.
*trill of the bell above the door*
“no bike with you the day, harley?” enquired the shop attendant with a smirk. dawn’s husband didn’t rise to the bait. he silently went about piling the shop’s wares into his basket.
“just these please.”
“12 snickers, 4 big bags of salt and vinegar real mccoy’s. one battery charger with 6 different types of phone cable and a reading lamp, which are for sale at the petrol station for some inexplicable reason. two 2l bottles of ribena and two 2l bottles of co-op water. hope you’re not planning to dilute it 1:1?”
“ i like it strong. it’s not ribena unless it makes you retch.”
“yer a wan, mr. harley. £29.86 and on ye way. i’m about to shut up, i’ve got a one to bull the night. famous totty type. john deere chassis and hind legs up to her arse. you might know her as she’s local. she’s just been on the tv the night, talking about the floods. she’s normally right horny and suggestible after something like that, ripe for an old milking of the stick. hopefully she’s got the whips and chains out to channel some of that instead of the fecking easel.”
dawn’s husband nodded, paid and headed out to his car. the key fob pressed, the car blipped, he sat inside. he charged his reading lamp with his new charger so he could see what he was about to do. he grabbed his phone.
“shit, i forgot it’s backlit, i didn’t need this piece of shit lamp.” with a shrug he carried on with his business. he unlocked the phone. he double tapped the safari icon and began to one finger type.
f a c e b o o k - c a m l a k e c a n v a s
“now where is the bitch?”
*windscreen wiper noises*
“i can’t believe duffy has done this. call your stupid mp friend. call your tv chums. post your posts but you made this personal. you remember that. you brought family in to this. you brought home lives into this. you turned my wife against me. you’ll pay for that. oh you’ll pay for that.”
dawn’s husband’s mood was dark, as dark as the rain filled clouds that lashed its wrath against the windscreen of dawn’s husbands car. the pounding of the rainwater off the road loosing the caked on blood and dog fur from the underside of the car and grill. he had spiralled out of control. he was in danger of literally spinning out of control, swerving violently all over the road, taking greedy swigs from his lactose free milk drink in between his chuntering about duffy. he wasn’t sure if he was lactose intolerant, but it pays to be safe.
he blamed duffy for it all. not just the art competition, she was now the root cause of everything that had gone wrong in his life. she had always been there in the background, pulling strings and ensuring he failed. she had to pay. if she was punished for her actions then it made up for everything. this was his purgatory, duffy’s demise his everlasting salvation.
“i can’t go home until this is finished. dawn will take me back when it’s done.” he assured himself. “just give her time to cool off.”
dawn’s husband pulled into co-op petrol station to stock up on provisions. he wasn’t sure how long he’d be away from home.
*trill of the bell above the door*
“no bike with you the day, harley?” enquired the shop attendant with a smirk. dawn’s husband didn’t rise to the bait. he silently went about piling the shop’s wares into his basket.
“just these please.”
“12 snickers, 4 big bags of salt and vinegar real mccoy’s. one battery charger with 6 different types of phone cable and a reading lamp, which are for sale at the petrol station for some inexplicable reason. two 2l bottles of ribena and two 2l bottles of co-op water. hope you’re not planning to dilute it 1:1?”
“ i like it strong. it’s not ribena unless it makes you retch.”
“yer a wan, mr. harley. £29.86 and on ye way. i’m about to shut up, i’ve got a one to bull the night. famous totty type. john deere chassis and hind legs up to her arse. you might know her as she’s local. she’s just been on the tv the night, talking about the floods. she’s normally right horny and suggestible after something like that, ripe for an old milking of the stick. hopefully she’s got the whips and chains out to channel some of that instead of the fecking easel.”
dawn’s husband nodded, paid and headed out to his car. the key fob pressed, the car blipped, he sat inside. he charged his reading lamp with his new charger so he could see what he was about to do. he grabbed his phone.
“shit, i forgot it’s backlit, i didn’t need this piece of shit lamp.” with a shrug he carried on with his business. he unlocked the phone. he double tapped the safari icon and began to one finger type.
f a c e b o o k - c a m l a k e c a n v a s
“now where is the bitch?”
Genuinely checking this more than the Varane announcement
I was going to quote my favorite bits, but there are simply too many honestly can't wait for the third act!
honestly can't wait for the third act!So what odds can I get on double disqualification for Dawn and that heinous villain Duffy?
Cliff hanger 
Same hereI was going to quote my favorite bits, but there are simply too many
act 3, scene 1
*bird’s chirping*
“hurry now, children! we have so much fun to get through in the next three hours. welcome to ‘coming out of your shell with michelle’ i’m so glad you could all make it. as your parents know, i set up this entirely self funded program to help children who needed some encouragement to enjoy their learning and express themselves. we all find that difficult at times but there is no such word as can’t here! any and all disabilities are left at the door. we are here to create!”
“now pick up you paint brushes and you have 10 minutes to paint how you feel on the canvas in front of you. some of you may be excited. some of you may be anxious or worried. don’t worry and don’t hold back! just be guided by that emotion and express yourself! i’ll nip off to make us all a nice drink and get us a snack and i’ll be back in the stroke of a few brushes. remember, there is no such thing as a bad painting, there are only bad critics!”
michelle left the room and headed to the adjoining kitchen.
“mrs. duffy?”
“oh please. it’s michelle.”
“i just wanted to say thank you so much for all this. felicity loves her silly little scribbles and doodles so much but truth be told, between her condition and our meagre means, she doesn’t often get a chance to do it. you are so kind doing all this out of the goodness of your heart. we came by saturday to drop around a thank you card that fells had made but your assistant said you weren’t here?”
“oh so sorry, it would have been lovely to see you all! truth be told i was indulging myself at a small art competition. 5 of us headed up to barn coffee shop and had 4 hours to take inspiration from what was around us and paint what we saw.”
“oh that sounds wonderful. i’m surprised you get the time to do anything of the sort. you always seem so busy doing anything and everything for everyone else.”
“well i did get a little carried away with it all! the art works are being judged now in an online poll. it’s silly but i’d really like to win it. it’s almost validation for everything i’ve done to get to where i am now. this all seemed like a pipe dream not so long ago. after jon died i decided i wasn’t going to spend any more time doing something i hated. i quit the law firm and decided to chase something special. i left the city lifestyle behind and all its material trappings and the camlake canvas you see around you here was born. and it’s far from selfless, the kids are giving me more than i give them. they’re giving me a chance to feel like a mother. a chance mother nature never gave.”
“bless you, michelle, you’re a true inspiration to us all. what’s the link? i’d love to vote for your art work.”
“now, now! there are four others to choose from! i’d of course love your vote though. in a moment of weakness i even called in a favour and asked michelle gildernew to beg for votes for me. i hope the other contestants don’t mind!”
“i’m sure they won’t! any way those online votes are just popularity contests. if it was about the art it would have been judged on the day by an independent panel.”
“we all said that! any way, i’d love to chat more but i need to go and get my swimming costume together and then some squash and biccies for the children. i’ve rather overestimated my time today and need to head straight to the water later for a swim with some friends. take care and talk later!”
*bird’s chirping*
“hurry now, children! we have so much fun to get through in the next three hours. welcome to ‘coming out of your shell with michelle’ i’m so glad you could all make it. as your parents know, i set up this entirely self funded program to help children who needed some encouragement to enjoy their learning and express themselves. we all find that difficult at times but there is no such word as can’t here! any and all disabilities are left at the door. we are here to create!”
“now pick up you paint brushes and you have 10 minutes to paint how you feel on the canvas in front of you. some of you may be excited. some of you may be anxious or worried. don’t worry and don’t hold back! just be guided by that emotion and express yourself! i’ll nip off to make us all a nice drink and get us a snack and i’ll be back in the stroke of a few brushes. remember, there is no such thing as a bad painting, there are only bad critics!”
michelle left the room and headed to the adjoining kitchen.
“mrs. duffy?”
“oh please. it’s michelle.”
“i just wanted to say thank you so much for all this. felicity loves her silly little scribbles and doodles so much but truth be told, between her condition and our meagre means, she doesn’t often get a chance to do it. you are so kind doing all this out of the goodness of your heart. we came by saturday to drop around a thank you card that fells had made but your assistant said you weren’t here?”
“oh so sorry, it would have been lovely to see you all! truth be told i was indulging myself at a small art competition. 5 of us headed up to barn coffee shop and had 4 hours to take inspiration from what was around us and paint what we saw.”
“oh that sounds wonderful. i’m surprised you get the time to do anything of the sort. you always seem so busy doing anything and everything for everyone else.”
“well i did get a little carried away with it all! the art works are being judged now in an online poll. it’s silly but i’d really like to win it. it’s almost validation for everything i’ve done to get to where i am now. this all seemed like a pipe dream not so long ago. after jon died i decided i wasn’t going to spend any more time doing something i hated. i quit the law firm and decided to chase something special. i left the city lifestyle behind and all its material trappings and the camlake canvas you see around you here was born. and it’s far from selfless, the kids are giving me more than i give them. they’re giving me a chance to feel like a mother. a chance mother nature never gave.”
“bless you, michelle, you’re a true inspiration to us all. what’s the link? i’d love to vote for your art work.”
“now, now! there are four others to choose from! i’d of course love your vote though. in a moment of weakness i even called in a favour and asked michelle gildernew to beg for votes for me. i hope the other contestants don’t mind!”
“i’m sure they won’t! any way those online votes are just popularity contests. if it was about the art it would have been judged on the day by an independent panel.”
“we all said that! any way, i’d love to chat more but i need to go and get my swimming costume together and then some squash and biccies for the children. i’ve rather overestimated my time today and need to head straight to the water later for a swim with some friends. take care and talk later!”
Just had a look at the poll and it seems everything is in order now:
Non-toxic paintsJust had a look at the poll and it seems everything is in order now:
Its officially official.
Here we go!
Biggest number of votes ever cast
Here we go!
Biggest number of votes ever cast
Its officially official.
Here we go!
Biggest number of votes ever cast
Its officially official.
Here we go!
Biggest number of votes ever cast
COCKS OUT LADS!
Cocks out for Dawn! 
YESSSSS! FECK OFF DUFFY
brilliant, best thread
Quick get a photographer round to Duffy's place.
Tweet
— Twitter API (@user) date
But to be fair hers was the best, you can't even see her holding the painting in the photo it's so good.
Cocks out for Dawn!
And an experienced mental health crisis intervention team.
Well, congrats to erm, Dawn? Or is it us?
Uhm...
Uhm...
Think she's ordering a few new Polonecks online
This is just sensational stuff you love to see it
Congratulations Dawn, the quality of your work and Hectic's bots simply shone through.
Seriously though, your work was beautiful.
Seriously though, your work was beautiful.
Uh-huh.
Brilliant
GET INNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!