Gaming The Europa Universalis 4 Experiment II (sign ups for Experiment III open)

SilentWitness

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Phil Jones Face said:
Rule, Shakesania, Shakesania rules the waves!



Great @Shakesy has claimed naval hegemony by having a fleet of over 500 ships and possessing the most heavy ships in the game. The naval hegemony several, but one crucial buff for colonial nations: -20% liberty desire in subjects. This is especially important for those with vast colonial empires, as it redudes the chance of them rebelling or being coerced into rebellion by foreign powers. We've seen several unsuccessful attempts at powers initiating rebellions in their rivals colonies so far.

Only the military hegemony remains unclaimed now, which requires a standing army of over 1m troops (not including colonial armies). Only altodevil currently has over 1m troops, but he cannot claim more than one hegemon and already has claimed the economic one. The next closest player to claiming it is PSV, who has a standing army of 500k, then nimic-Simbo with 444k.


In central Europe, the revolution is spreading like wildfire. It has now reached the lands of PSV, RedSky and Organic Potatoes. maniak still resists the revolutionaries, but his country is on fire and has frequent rebellions.

@Crackers is fighting the revolutionary states and has so far vassalised Ruppin.



@hobbers suppressed revolutionary Saxe-Lauenburg, vassalised and soon after annexed them.



In Italy, the revolution spread to @Organic Potatoes, who overthrew the Serene Republic and replaced its Doge with Consul Organic Potatoes. Revolutionary Venice immediately cancelled its long standing alliance with France. Seeing an opportunity to gain territory, @RedSky rushed out of his pizza emporium still donning his apron and begun attacking Organic Potatoes with a rolling pin. The Milanese also called in nimic-Simbo and Crackers for shits and giggles.



The war went about as well as you'd expect for the Venetians. RedSky a lot of territory from the war.





And finally, we must end the post on a sombre note. It is with profound sadness that I announce the passing of our Dutch-African player, SilentWitness.

Down the years we have had many fond memories of SilentWitness bravely running away from one danger to the next. But he was unable to escape Great Shakesy's clutches this time. Indeed, I wasn't even aware that Sneakesy Shakesy was annexing him until the pop up popped up. We must say farewell to Sir Robin.






Goodbye, sweet prince @SilentWitness

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it was time and I’ve made my peace. :cool:
 

Phil Jones Face

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Quick mini post before the 300 year update.


maniak decided to pay off all of Crackers debts, because reasons.



Finland decended into civil war after years of turbulence, being fought over and released twice by Dr. Dwayne.



You'll notice @maniak has changed to a lighter blue hue. Thats because hes formed Scandinavia. Scandinavia as a nation is much stronger than Denmark militarily. It boasts an extra 5% discipline, 20% infantry combat ability, 20% naval morale and 0.5% cavalry fire as national ideas.



maniak then immediately declared war upon Finland, who was still in the throes of its civil war.



maniak quickly annexed Finland, seizing Dr. Dwayne's former stomping ground and he vassalised Karelia.





In the HRE, hobbers was deposed as Emperor. None of the electors liked poor hobbers.

Having prepared for this moment for years, Crackers saunted to the Kaiserpfalz, expecting to regain his old title and for the electors to elect him.



They didn't. Stettin replaces hobbers as Emperor.



nimic-Simbo lost badly in Indonesia to the indigenous tribes, ceding the vast majority of their territory there.



Crackers vassalised Memmingen and Mulhouse.




And finally, the age of Revolutions has passed. I'm betting Organic Potatoes wished he didn't get involved.





In other news:

  1. Dan has allied PSV.
  2. nimic-Simbo are supporting maniak’s north American colonial independence.
  3. Lithuania claimed the throne of Dan again
  4. altodevil is warning Dan and Crackers not to go to war with anybody.
  5. Lithuania is guaranteeing Novgorod independence, limiting Dwayne's routes of expansion.
 
Last edited:
1744- 300 year update

Phil Jones Face

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1744- 300 year update









Development (value of provinces):

  1. altodevil: 5805 (unchanged)
  2. Salt Bailly: 3199 (+1)
  3. Great Shakesy: 2674 (+1)
  4. nimic-Simbo: 2660 (-2)
  5. PSV: 2538 (unchanged)
  6. maniak: 1327 (+3)
  7. Dan: 1240 (-1)
  8. Crackers: 983 (unchanged)
  9. RedSky: 782 (+1)
  10. hobbers: 637 (new entry)

Land army size:

  1. altodevil: 1,309,000 (unchanged)
  2. nimic-Simbo: 633,000 (+1)
  3. PSV: 632,000 (+1)
  4. Great Shakesy: 625,000 (-2)
  5. Salt Bailly: 456,000 (+2)
  6. maniak: 297,000 (new entry)
  7. Dan: 249,000 (-2)
  8. Crackers: 212,000 (unchanged)
  9. RedSky: 137,000 (+1)
  10. hobbers: 131,000 (new entry)

Navy size:

  1. Great Shakesey: 802 (+1)
  2. altodevil: 676 (-1)
  3. Salt Bailly: 370 (unchanged)
  4. nimic-Simbo: 322 (unchanged)
  5. PSV: 248 (unchanged)
  6. maniak: 165 (unchanged)
  7. Organic Potatoes: 92 (unchanged)
  8. Dan: 82 (unchanged)
  9. hobbers: 57 (+1)
  10. Crackers: 24 (new entry)

Total income:

  1. altodevil: 1622 (unchanged)
  2. Great Shakesey: 1100 (unchanged)
  3. Salt Bailly: 710 (+1)
  4. nimic-Simbo: 674 (-1)
  5. PSV: 656 (unchanged)
  6. maniak: 404 (+2)
  7. Dan: 386 (unchanged))
  8. Crackers: 227 (+1)
  9. RedSky: 188 (+1)
  10. hobbers: 130 (new entry)

Mana generated (i.e, how lucky you've been with your monarch spawn stats or events and how much you've spent improving your country):


  1. altodevil: 116910 (unchanged)
  2. Great Shakesey: 108840 (unchanged)
  3. PSV: 106356 (unchanged)
  4. nimic-Simbo: 100509 (+1)
  5. Salt Bailly: 98550 (+2)
  6. Organic Potatoes: 98500 (-2)
  7. Dan: 96434 (unchanged)
  8. maniak: 96295 (unchanged)
  9. Dr. Dwayne: 92796 (unchanged)
  10. RedSky: 92414 (unchanged)

Ideas chosen (provide important buffs, generated by mana):

49: Organic Potatoes, altodevil, hobbers, Salt Bailly
48: SilentWitness, Crackers, nimic-Simbo, Great Shakesy, The Cat
47: RedSky, maniak
46: PSV, Dr. Dwayne



Army casualties (in combat + attrition:)

  1. altodevil: 10 829 384 (unchanged)
  2. PSV: 2 603 341 (unchanged)
  3. nimic-Simbo: 2 297 539
  4. Salt Bailly: 2 096 029 (+1)
  5. Great Shakesey: 1 969 817 (-1)
  6. Dr. Dwayne: 1 731 047 (unchanged)
  7. Dan: 1 448 506 (unchanged)
  8. maniak: 1 417 362 (unchanged)
  9. Crackers: 1 071 367 (unchanged)
  10. hobbers: 1 032 331 (unchanged)


Navy casualties:

  1. nimic-Simbo: 322 (+4)
  2. PSV: 290 (unchanged)
  3. Great Shakesy: 261 (+1)
  4. Salt Bailly: 224 (-3)
  5. altodevil: 216 (-2)
  6. maniak: 157 (unchanged)
  7. Dan: 132 (unchanged)
  8. Dr. Dwayne: 81 (+2)
  9. Oganic Potatoes: 80 (-1)
  10. The Cat: 52 (unchangedy)


Dead players:

  1. Eboue (absorbed by PSV via personal union)
  2. MadDogg (killed by altodevil)
  3. Cheimoon (annexed by altodevil, made Chief Eunuch)
  4. GreatDane (died in League war)
  5. P-Nut (killed by altodevil)
  6. WI_Red (absorbed by PSV via personal union)
  7. Solius x2 (gangbanged by Dr. Dwayne and maniak, ressurected by Japan, killed by maniak again)
  8. SilentWitness (annexed by Great Shakesy)



Religious map




Tech map (the greener you are, the more tech you've embraced and the bigger advantages you have over your neighbours):



The state of the HRE. It has passed 3 reforms:



The dynastic map:

 

maniak

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I think we need a grand coalition to deal with a certain someone.
 

Simbo

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nimic said:
@Simbo and I seem content to just sit there and not to anything.
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Pretty concerned the Portuguese have surpassed us. Salt Bailey living off our protective barrier. As long as we don't provoke that Altodemon though :(
 

Phil Jones Face

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The pain train decided to pay another visit to @Dr. Dwayne. At this rate of attrition, Russia is going to resemble Mini-me more than Dr. Evil soon.



@hobbers decided to stand bravely by his Russian ally and took the fight to the Turks. Noble yes? Foolish? Most definitely.



The Bohemians won a victory and skirted towards Constantinople before the Ottomans gathered and their numbers became overwhelming.



While this was all unfolding, @maniak decided to pay Dr. Dwayne a visit too.




Not long after, with 3/4 of Bohemia sieged down, hobbers was forced to tap out. He surrendered more land to the snaking Ottomans.



Without Bohemia to take the beating, Dr. Evil was subjected to the full force of the Ottomans and Scandinavia. He was forced to cede more territory, escorted to his dong-shaped rocket ship and has been forcibly relocated to the Siberian gulags.





Elsewhere, Exquisite @RedSky's Pizzeria decided it needed to expand its business into Ferrera and Genoa, bringing in nimic-Simbo as allies. Ferrera called upon Lithuania.




nimic-Simbo did the majority of the heavy lifting in the war and RedSky gained a lot of lucrative Italian territory.


 

Phil Jones Face

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@Dr. Dwayne's dong-shaped rocket ship descends through the Earth's atmosphere, its engines firing, producing a powerful thrust to slow down its speed. With the final descent, the dong-shaped ship's landing legs extend, preparing to absorb the impact of touchdown. The thrusters continue to fire, carefully adjusting the ship's position to maintain stability. Slowly, the rocket ship descends closer to the ground, the dust and debris kicked up by its powerful engines. Thud. Mini-me has safely landed. He peers through the window, gazing at the Siberian wilderness before him.

*tap, tap, tap*

Startled, Dwayne retreats from the window.

*tap, tap tap* it continues

Dwayne edges towards the exit hatch and tentatively pushes the big red button.

*poof* the hatch swings open.

"for fecks sake"

Four Asian looking men stand before mini-Me, grinning.



They all declared war at the same time.






It was death by a thousand cuts for Russia, who stood no chance vs the seven four nation army.






Dr. Dwayne now holds onto a tiny strip of land and has gone bankrupt.



Meanwhile, in Europe..




Lithuania's king died without an heir. It immediately fell under @Dan's control via a personal union, which triggered a major European conflict. @Crackers objected to the union, so declared war on Dan with his ally @maniak. @RedSky, the other half of the El Dude brothers, also accepted Crackers call to arms.



Dan responded by calling his ally @PSV to help, while @altodevil who wasn't allied with anybody, decided to join the Polish side for shits and giggles.



The battles were particularly bloody, with Crackers taking the brunt of the offensive.




The war ended catastrophically for Crackers and maniak. Crackers conceded a lot of land to PSV and altodevil, while maniak was forced to relinquish some of his colonial possessions. RedSky lost nothing.



Lithuania remains in personal union with Dan. Will we get to see the Commonwealth finally?
 

altodevil

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Just entering wars for sun now,lmao.
 

Phil Jones Face

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THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE SHAKESY


THE GOOD

@maniak has annexed Karelia. He can finally claim to be the victor of the Dr. Dwayne/Solius/maniak Scandinavian conflicts...




THE BAD


.. unfortunately for maniak, his happiness was short lived. 6 years later @nimic - @Simbo agitated maniak's largest and most powerful colony, new Scandinavia, into open rebellion.



The colony provided over 50% of maniak's land forces. Combining this with nimic-Simbo's Pacifico Norte colony and Spain's overwhelming naval advantage, maniak stood no chance transporting his armies to north America, let alone in recapturing the colony. New Scandinavia was released as independent republic called Florida, who promptly allied nimic-Simbo.

maniak now only holds onto a handful of colonial provinces in north America - Vinland and Scandinavian Louisiana. His colonial dreams are over.




THE SHAKESY


Shortly after the disastrous Polish-Austrian war, Westphalia declared war on @Crackers and his ally @RedSky. The timing couldn’t have been worse for the Austrians. Coming off the back of the last war, Austria had an army size of 15k and 3k in reserve manpower. RedSky had an army of 70k with 6k reserves. Westphalia had a standing army of 389k and 37k in reserves. Westphalia didn't even need to call in PSV to fight this one.





Crackers then hired a mercenary army from Wurzburg to bolster his weakened forces and happened to lose it in the opening engagement.




RedSky won a couple of battles, but with the war turning against the Austro-Milanese, @Organic Potatoes decided he would intervene - on the Westphalian’s side.




The El Dude brothes peaced out with Crackers losing more land.

If Crackers was a football team, his recent form would be LLLLL
 

Phil Jones Face

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France faces significant economic and social problems, with widespread poverty, food shortages, and political unrest. The people of Paris, frustrated with the oppressive rule of King @PSV, direct their anger towards the Bastille, the symbol of royal authority and despotism.

A large crowd gathers outside the Bastille and demand the release of political prisoners and the seizure of weapons stored inside the fortress. The governor of the Bastille, Marquis de Launay, refuses to surrender. Negotiations between the crowd and the governor continue for several hours, but tensions grow increasingly tense.

As the negotiations stall, the crowd become more agitated and eventually decide to forcefully enter the fortress. They began to attack the Bastille, using improvised weapons such as pickaxes and crowbars. The defenders of the Bastille, consisting of a small garrison of soldiers, initially repell the attackers and open fire on the crowd, causing casualties. The revolutionaries persist, manage to breach the outer defenses and storm the fortress.

The Bastille has fallen.

The revolution is here.

Long live Consul PSV.








Revolutionary fervour sweeps France and Consul PSV fights to extinguish the Royalist uprisings.



Meanwhile, in the Americas, there is growing discontent amongst the colonists and whispers of insurrection. I don't think we can blame nimic-Simbo for this one..



In north America, ex-maniak colony Florida has now formed the United States of America..



.. while @nimic - @Simbo and PSV plot to destroy Great @Shakesy's colonial empire, by pledging to support Newfoundland independence. Newfoundland is Great Shakesy's 3rd strongest of his 5 colonies.




Back in northern Europe, shortly after his colonial defeat, @maniak declared war on the released Novgorod and seized more land.




And finally, the clash of two empires.

You might recall @Salt Bailly many years ago tried to try stall @altodevil's advance into India by allying Gujarat. It was semi-successful in diverting the Ottomans around the Indian kingdom.

Well, altodevil decided to finally call Salt Bailly's bluff and declare war on Gujarat. Salt Bailly honoured their call to arms.






It would be a difficult war for the Portuguese to fight. The war goal in Gujarat was too far away to defend, allowing the Ottomans to accrue a ticking warscore. In south Africa, they were set upon by the various Ottoman allies and quickly overwhelmed and had to divert precious resources there to stop a collapse on the southern front. Eventually they managed to stabilise south Africa and the borders stabilised.

The Portuguese advance into north Africa from Morrocco was brutally repulsed multiple times.



Eventually, the Ottomans broke through in north Africa and with Gujarat sieged down, the allies sued for peace.



It was a particularly bloody attritional war for the Ottomans. While a loss for the Portuguese, I think it could have been much worse if altodevil decided to moveh is horde from India to north Africa.





In other news:

  1. Utrecht formed the Netherlands
  2. nimic-Simbo allied Westphalia
  3. maniak allied Crackers
  4. Salt Bailly is guaranteeing The Cat independence
  5. Great Shakesy and Salt Bailly are carving up Africa
 

Phil Jones Face

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Much shorter update this time. Apologies, while the great Salt Bailly-altodevil war was firing off, this all happened and I couldn't keep a close eye on everything.



Revolutionary @PSV declared war on the United States.



The war initially went terribly for the French and the United States swarmed Floride. It was only after a few months that the tide turned, when PSV shipped the Grand Armee to north America and sent Mr. Washington packing.



The war ended with the French making significant gains in north America.



Interestingly, the United States have their own Guantanamo Bay. In Denmark.




In central Europe, Westphalia rolled up its sleeves and Crackers shat himself.

But he wasn't the target of this German upstart (this could have been you @GreatDane *weeps*!). It was clobber @hobbers time. Westphalia called in its Venetian allies, Organic Potatoes.



No prizes for guessing who won this one.




And back in Siberia, it was the same old bad luck Brian story for @Dr. Dwayne



Russia was dissected again.



After the two defeats, Mini-me packed his things, waved farewell to his Kazan, Japanese, and Shun friends and departed in his dong-shaped rocket ship for his new home - which now comprised of two small provinces - Velsk and Yaroslavl.

Dr. Dwayne landed in Yaroslavl to a welcoming party, organised by @maniak



 

Cheimoon

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nimic said:
We're playing the role of Solius I see, just messing shit up because we can.
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Guess it's a Spanish thing!

Is it just me or are the states much more aggressive in this game? Is that a setting or totally random?
 

nimic

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Cheimoon said:
Guess it's a Spanish thing!

Is it just me or are the states much more aggressive in this game? Is that a setting or totally random?
Click to expand...
It's partly just you, and partly a result of Phil outright replacing actual countries (with mission trees and national ideas to push them in certain directions). I think it's also because I had many one-thing updates, while Phil actually goes to the effort to put several of them in one post. So you might have missed many of my war-updates, while if you catch his you catch them all.

Also he's got the real nation of the Ottomans (@altodevil), who are stupidly strong in the game. Just outrageously strong. But this series has always had a "final boss" country, often changing based on patches. Usually it's the Ottomans or France. I remember France as the Big Blue Blob in my EU2 and EU3 days. Actually, the Ottomans being this strong makes for more interesting gameplay too. If you're decent at the game you'll probably come to dominate most countries after a while, but then you'll still have the Ottomans who could get in your way and make it less predictable.
 

Cheimoon

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nimic said:
It's partly just you, and partly a result of Phil outright replacing actual countries (with mission trees and national ideas to push them in certain directions). I think it's also because I had many one-thing updates, while Phil actually goes to the effort to put several of them in one post. So you might have missed many of my war-updates, while if you catch his you catch them all.

Also he's got the real nation of the Ottomans (@altodevil), who are stupidly strong in the game. Just outrageously strong. But this series has always had a "final boss" country, often changing based on patches. Usually it's the Ottomans or France. I remember France as the Big Blue Blob in my EU2 and EU3 days. Actually, the Ottomans being this strong makes for more interesting gameplay too. If you're decent at the game you'll probably come to dominate most countries after a while, but then you'll still have the Ottomans who could get in your way and make it less predictable.
Click to expand...
Hey, I did read it all you know! :)

But thanks for explaining, makes sense. I think this is the sort of game I would have loved back in the 90s/early 00s but would be far too impatient for now. :D (Mostly because I have very little time for gaming, so usually play action-focused games.)
 

Phil Jones Face

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War in central Europe!

@hobbers king has died of a heart attack shortly after his loss to Westphalia. Without a heir, he fell under junior partnership of @maniak, who seems to be strategically marrying everybody in the hopes of them popping their clogs and him gaining easy inheritance. @RedSky lodged a formal complaint, which maniak ignored, so RedSky declared war on them both. maniak then called in @Crackers to assist them. Interestingly, RedSky either didn't call on his ally @nimic - @Simbo or they outright refused. In any case, RedSky was to fight this one alone.

And spoiler
he fought fecking amazingly




RedSky won many, many victories over the allies. I think half of my screenshot folder is just of him kicking ass. He was relentless. The Milanese Napoleon.



After 3 bloody years, RedSky forced Crackers into peacing out. It was now RedSky vs hobbers and maniak. Could he do the unthinkable?!




The victories kept rolling in for Milan.






After 4 years of fighting, both sides were exhausted and war weary. maniak sent one last grand army into Italy to try beat RedSky and despite having overwhelming numbers, he was routed near Venice.



Scandinavian morale collapsed after the defeat. They immediately asked for peace. The two sides came to terms. Despite RedSky's many victories, he wasn't able to retake Bohemia. The war ended in a white peace. hobbers would remain maniak's junior partner, but to RedSky it must feel like a victory, having punched so far above his weight, alone.

We salute you, RedSky.






Meanwhile in north America, @Salt Bailly joined on the Great @Shakesy hate train and is supporting Newfoundland independence. We now have Salt Bailly, nimic-Simbo and PSV all shaking their fists angrily at the Great Shakesy.






And finally, back in Russia, if we've learnt anything about plucky Mini-me, it's that he doesn't give up easily.



maniak concluded his war with @Dr. Dwayne by leaving him one province, surrounded on all sides by altodevil.

 

Phil Jones Face

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Mini update before the 350 year post.

@maniak cleaned up Novgorod.



@Salt Bailly attacked Morocco, which pulled in its ally @The Cat, who must have feared the worst.



Portugal ended up annexing Morocco and took a bite out of The Cat, who still remains landlocked between the two superpowers.



@PSV spread the revolution into the Netherlands, seizing territory in the lowlands.



The revolution now looks like this (purple = origin, green = fully embraced):



And finally, we must say goodbye to our Russian punchbag, @Dr. Dwayne who was gobbled up by the Turk.



With no kingdom left for him on planet earth, our former Russian emperor accepted defeat. Clambering the steps on his dong-shaped spaceship, he stopped to take one last look over his shoulder at his former empire, before he passed through the hatch and set off for outerspace. The Tsar would sailing around the stars, never to return.




In other news:

  1. Dan allied Great Shakesy
  2. The United States was carved by PSV, Salt Bailly and Great Shakesy. It is now a vassal of PSV
  3. maniak retook Guantanamo Bay
  4. Impressed by RedSkys victories, Great Shakesy allied him
 
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