Dear Dwayne Diary:
17th November 1717.
Restless night once again. I tossed and turned, unable to sleep, oh my conscience weighs heavy! It was around midnight with a storm brewing outside that the shutters to my bedroom window flew open and an ethereal figure, draped in a flowing white robe flew in. Called itself the Ghost of Solius’ past, crying “Tsar Dwayne, give me back my flat pack furniture!”. I hid under the covers until it went away.
7th June 1681.
Woke to the strange sight of 20 burly men with tape measures and clipboards walking around my bedchamber. Asked the men the meaning of this quarrelsome behaviour and they presented me with a proclamation that I am “now maniak’s bitch” and I have to “do as he says”. Tried present my complaint in person to maniak but he just put his finger to my lips then walked away.
8th June 1681.
Minor clarification: it turns out that I am in fact not “maniak’s bitch”.
12th January 1693.
Minor dispute with the neighbour today. altodevil and his court clown Cheimoon paid a visit. The Sultan strolled around my palatial gardens and complimented me on my horticulture skills, paying particular interest in my arrangement of my tulips and orchids. “I like” he said. I offered to show him how to landscape his own garden. He said no thanks and took mine.
23rd February 1698.
Visited by Dan and Lithuania today, two strange hairy little fellows from across the road. Attempted to barricade myself in the pantry, but they wouldn’t take no for an answer. Enormous appetite, these two. They insisted on rummaging through my stores. Only left after they had devoured the majority of my wares and left half a dozen pizza boxes strewn across the floor. I hadn’t felt so violated in months.
TODAY - 16th May 1713.
A soft rattle of knuckles on the door. I open it.
An Asian looking man stands before me, grinning.
“For fecks sake”.
Shortly after
@Dr. Dwayne's defeat at the hands of Dan and Lithuania, things went from Shakesy to worse for the Russian Tsar. His aggressive expansion through Siberia in previous years had drawn the ire of the Chinese kingdoms - in particular the Shun, who happened to be the largest of these. With the Russian empire divided in two and with no direct landroute to the far east, the Shun knew now would be an opportune moment to strike. And strike, they did.
Dwayne was helpless as the Chinese seized the eastern half of his Empire. The passage of Perm was not open to the Russian troops and they looked on helplesly as the Shun troops taunted them from across the border: "CHINA #1".
Unable to fight back, it looked like the Russian empire was going to be dissected once again until Dwayne gained military access through Perm and promptly crushed the Shun armies. Despite outnumbering the Russians almost 2-1, they were no match for their European counterparts and soon surrendered.
On the back of this rare victory, Dwayne decided to set about re-capturing the nations Dan had forced him to release in their last war, starting with the independent kingdom of Finland. With no allies for Finland and only a handful of troops, it looks like the Finns will be a pushover for the Tsar...
DISREGARD ABOVE, DWAYNE IS FECKED.
Elsewhere in Europe, we have reached the Age of Revolutions and revolutionary fervour has taken hold in Denmark. If the revolutionaries take power,
@maniak will get strong military buffs at the cost of everybody hating him even more than they currently do.