Weird feelings of football

[horsechoker]

I have an irrational, almost violent aversion to that Hispanic/Latin-American thing where anytime a goal is scored, the commentator goes, "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!"

It's just so cringeworthy to me. So weird, uncomfortable and hamfistedly theatrical. It's like it isn't natural human behavior, it's some bizarre contrivance aimed at instilling an artificial connection between the commentator and what the player did on the pitch. It gives me the same sort of feeling that I get if I eat something deeply unpalatable. I can't stand it. I know my dislike of this phenomenon is probably stronger than it needs to be, but I have always hated it so much. It's like how I hate the way American audiences at any given live performance will inexplicably hoot and hollar like baboons at absolutely everything, seemingly just to feel like they're somehow a part of the show when it's really nothing but a pointless nuisance.

It even happens in an almost lackadaisical manner, at times. The commentator will be chatting away about something unrelated and an unexpected goal is scored from a long shot, and suddenly he just starts droning, 'Blabla-something-someth--GOOOOOOOL! GOLGOLGOLGOL!!' Like it's some kind of cerebral programming, or a corporate instrution that they must drop all else and lapse into that witless utterance whenever a goal is scored, not some natural reaction that stems from real enthusiasm. I have some sort of allergy to that kind of fake, pre-programmed excitement.

At least English commentators (and Danish and German, the three languages I speak) have the decency to say something more linguistically meaningful like 'oh, what a marvellous goal! Well done, that man!' instead of just mindlessly shrieking a sound into the microphone. At least European commentators manage to retain the use of their mental faculties when a goal is scored, instead of giving in to inane screeches. It's alright to let excitement determine the pitch of your voice, but don't just devolve into maniacal shrieks of insanity, thank you very much.

Parklife

 

[Malkovich]

Renato Sanches doesn't play for PSG

 

[ElCuddlos]

Gary O'Neill always looks like he is being told off by someone else's parents.

 

[P0GBA]

Players always get linked to sign for teams they have played well against despite being in very poor form generally. E.g Dan James for Leeds, Rashford for PSG last season and now Sancho for Tottenham.

 

[GatoLoco]

Real Madrid have dominated the CL for a decade while never winning a knockout tie convincingly.

In fact, they mostly look second best while knocking everyone out and winning finals.

Das ist nicht nur nicht richtig, es ist nicht einmal falsch.

 

[tentan]

Renato Sanches doesn't play for PSG

Can't believe he went from Bayern to Swansea to PSG

 

[Melbourne Red]

Parklife

 

[Melbourne Red]

A team in 14th feels more mid-table than a team in 8th despite 8th being objectively closer to the middle.

 

[Bubz27]

With Arsenal being linked to Zaha, after signing Trossard in January, after being linked with Murdryk for the whole of the window to add to Saka, Martinelli, Smith Rowe and Nelson and having Pepe out on loan, I feel like Arsenal are always signing wide midfielders/wide forwards.

Add to this, number 10 type midfielders too. Now it's Havertz.

 

[Red Rash]

David De Gea (32), Raphael Varane (30) and Casemiro (31) are all really 35+ years old. Not that they necessarily look old but they have all been around for what seems like an eternity.

 

[jem]

I have an irrational, almost violent aversion to that Hispanic/Latin-American thing where anytime a goal is scored, the commentator goes, "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!"

It's just so cringeworthy to me. So weird, uncomfortable and hamfistedly theatrical. It's like it isn't natural human behavior, it's some bizarre contrivance aimed at instilling an artificial connection between the commentator and what the player did on the pitch. It gives me the same sort of feeling that I get if I eat something deeply unpalatable. I can't stand it. I know my dislike of this phenomenon is probably stronger than it needs to be, but I have always hated it so much. It's like how I hate the way American audiences at any given live performance will inexplicably hoot and hollar like baboons at absolutely everything, seemingly just to feel like they're somehow a part of the show when it's really nothing but a pointless nuisance.

It even happens in an almost lackadaisical manner, at times. The commentator will be chatting away about something unrelated and an unexpected goal is scored from a long shot, and suddenly he just starts droning, 'Blabla-something-someth--GOOOOOOOL! GOLGOLGOLGOL!!' Like it's some kind of cerebral programming, or a corporate instrution that they must drop all else and lapse into that witless utterance whenever a goal is scored, not some natural reaction that stems from real enthusiasm. I have some sort of allergy to that kind of fake, pre-programmed excitement.

At least English commentators (and Danish and German, the three languages I speak) have the decency to say something more linguistically meaningful like 'oh, what a marvellous goal! Well done, that man!' instead of just mindlessly shrieking a sound into the microphone. At least European commentators manage to retain the use of their mental faculties when a goal is scored, instead of giving in to inane screeches. It's alright to let excitement determine the pitch of your voice, but don't just devolve into maniacal shrieks of insanity, thank you very much.

Not really a weird feeling of football…

 

[Sir Erik ten Hag]

Manchester City won a treble.

 

[Sandikan]

The "closed" season is about 2 days max these days.

 

[FrankDrebin]

Harry Kane has never scored a goal in open play for England.

 

[WakeAndBeek]

Certain countries produce a disproportionate amount of left footed players compared to others. England for example mostly produces right footers except for left backs and the odd winger, whereas countries like Argentina, Morocco (all North African countries in fact including their descendants in France), Spain, and Brazil seem to have much higher rates of left footers.

 

[PaudieG91]

Celtic and Rangers play against eachother 50 times a season and every game is the most important Old Firm of all time.

 

[P0GBA]

Nobody dislikes Spurs apart from their own players.

 

[Kopral Jono]

Club football pre-Fergie retirement has become a bit of a blur. I could clearly recall a Van Persie goal under Moyes but a Rooney goal in 2011 feels just as distant in my memory as a Nicky Butt goal in 1996.

 

[matherto]

Club football pre-Fergie retirement has become a bit of a blur. I could clearly recall a Van Persie goal under Moyes but a Rooney goal in 2011 feels just as distant in my memory as a Nicky Butt goal in 1996.

I feel similar and it makes me feel really sad.

 

[tentan]

Club football pre-Fergie retirement has become a bit of a blur. I could clearly recall a Van Persie goal under Moyes but a Rooney goal in 2011 feels just as distant in my memory as a Nicky Butt goal in 1996.

I'm the opposite, I can't really remember anything about the Moyes, Van Gaal, Mourinho era.

 

[Lay]

I'm the opposite, I can't really remember anything about the Moyes, Van Gaal, Mourinho era.

Same. I recall some moments of Zlatan but other than that, not a whole lot

 

[StamsShinyHead]

Same. I recall some moments of Zlatan but other than that, not a whole lot

It's a vague era of Valencia, Di Maria, Cavani and others

 

[Red Stone]

Every few years an Eastern European team will spawn out of thin air and somehow find themselves in the Champions League group stage, where they'll get absolutely battered in every game, except their home game against the group favourites where they'll miraculously secure a win or a clutch draw. They'll then disappear and never be heard from ever again, and people will question whether they ever even existed in the first place.

 

[DRJosh]

The FA Cup will be a Premier League product in the near future as we've got a spineless FA

 

[Kopral Jono]

I'm the opposite, I can't really remember anything about the Moyes, Van Gaal, Mourinho era.

Covid football felt a bit vague to me, but Moyes onward I can generally remember goals and games way more vividly.

 

[sugar_kane]

I feel like we've had some weird Mandela Effect style transfer action this window, like I swear Declan Rice has already signed for Arsenal about three times and yet somehow still hasn't actually signed for Arsenal.

Also Pau Torres to Aston Villa confirmed today, didn't that already happen about two weeks ago?

 

[2 man midfield]

Spanish clubs only ever lose shootouts to our rivals

 

[P0GBA]

Henry was in his late 30s when he signed for Barcelona (He was 29)

 

[Big Ben Foster]

Henry was in his late 30s when he signed for Barcelona (He was 29)

That's a crazy one. It felt like he was way past his peak and had already been around forever by the time he left Arsenal. And yet he doesn't come to mind as one of those players who burned out too early.

 

[P0GBA]

That's a crazy one. It felt like he was way past his peak and had already been around forever by the time he left Arsenal. And yet he doesn't come to mind as one of those players who burned out too early.

It's his 46 Birthday today. I presumed he was early 50s but just looked good for his age.

 

[Hoof the ball]

Hugill and McNeill are the same person. People just falsely remember us having two separate players.

 

[Ole'sgunnarwin]

That's a crazy one. It felt like he was way past his peak and had already been around forever by the time he left Arsenal. And yet he doesn't come to mind as one of those players who burned out too early.

For me it just got a bit stale at Arsenal for him though the quality was still there. Once they moved from Highbury he wasn't the same. But he was quality for a couple of years at Barca. His stint there was underrated for me. The front 3 of Henry, Eto'o and Messi is right up there.

 

[matherto]

That's a crazy one. It felt like he was way past his peak and had already been around forever by the time he left Arsenal. And yet he doesn't come to mind as one of those players who burned out too early.

His last season at Barca he was slower sprinting than the defenders he was attacking. Like all his pace disappeared

 

[Solius]

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This is dead on. Yannick Carrasco has been 29 since at least 2018.

 

[top1whoisman]

Forest spend €300m on every deadline day to sign players who are not at the club a year later.

 

[Steffa Barnesa]

After tonight's 4-3 defeat to Bayern, it seems like 4-3 games aren't all that competitive and are duller than the scorelines suggest.

France's 4-3 win over Argentina in the 2018 World Cup, Inter's win over Spurs when Bale scored a hattrick, our win over Real in 2003 weren't ever in question, and are memorable for moments, not as classic matches.

 

[jem]

After tonight's 4-3 defeat to Bayern, it seems like 4-3 games aren't all that competitive and are duller than the scorelines suggest.

France's 4-3 win over Argentina in the 2018 World Cup, Inter's win over Spurs when Bale scored a hattrick, our win over Real in 2003 weren't ever in question, and are memorable for moments, not as classic matches.

It's true - I feel like a 4-3 score in football is a bit like a 6-4 set in tennis: close but not really.

 

[2cents]

After tonight's 4-3 defeat to Bayern, it seems like 4-3 games aren't all that competitive and are duller than the scorelines suggest.

France's 4-3 win over Argentina in the 2018 World Cup, Inter's win over Spurs when Bale scored a hattrick, our win over Real in 2003 weren't ever in question, and are memorable for moments, not as classic matches.

Just depends how it pans out. Liverpool-Newcastle 4-3 in 95/96 was an absolute classic. Same result the following season wasn't nearly as epic from what I recall.

 

[Yagami]

Just depends how it pans out. Liverpool-Newcastle 4-3 in 95/96 was an absolute classic. Same result the following season wasn't nearly as epic from what I recall.

We also had a 4-3 against them in Fergie's last season. Chicharito scored the winner after a nice ball from Carrick in the rain I think. Good times.

 

[Stobzilla]

Just depends how it pans out. Liverpool-Newcastle 4-3 in 95/96 was an absolute classic. Same result the following season wasn't nearly as epic from what I recall.

It's because the 95/96 one was back and forth with multiple lead changes.

The 96/97 was Liverpool getting out into a 3-0 lead, Newcastle clawed it back to 3-3 and then Fowler popped up right at the end with the last touch of the game. It was equally as exciting it just didn't have prime Tyler and Gray over the top of it.