Oh where to begin…..
- Firstly, it was much, much too long and nowhere near interesting enough to warrant that length. A detective story, which I appreciated, but the mystery wasn’t particularly great, nor was Batman some great detective. Just pretty decent at answering a riddle in the spur of the moment.
- He took a bomb to the face, and nothing happened to him. His jaw would be gone, but okay.
- The police carried him out and no one removed his mask. That’s be literally the first thing anyone would do after taking an explosion to the chops.
- He dived off a building and flew with what looked like a quilted blanket on his back, until he finally hit a bridge and I think a train, but no harm done. Would be massively dead. But again, okay.
- The back to back scenes between Wayne and Flacone and then Wayne and Alfred were just wank. Falcone: “Marone killed your parents. Sorry kid”. Wayne: [No answer, no questions, just sullen face]. Next scene, Wayne: “Alfred you lied to me your whole life, Marone killed my parents”, Alfred: “No it was Falcone”, Wayne: “Okay then. I love you”. It was excruciatingly bad.
- Catwoman, looked hot as feck, did nothing.
- Batmobile was an undrivable muscle car mess.
- No discernible tech development, most of his gadgets are rudimentary. Then suddenly has some DARPA level recording contacts.
- Bruce Wayne basically walked around the whole movie looking like Brandon Lee in the Crow, just way less cool. Same vibe and everything.
- Takes so many bullets it’s a fecking miracle not a single one hits him in the face. People love just shooting very accurately at his chest.
- When he’s Bruce Wayne he looks like a skinny teenager who found his dad’s Batman costume and is playing dress up.
- His whole sullen attitude, especially towards Alfred, makes him look like a petulant man child. As a character he was extremely unlikable. Zero charisma, or really any redeeming feature.
- Why, in the event of a flood, did they flock everyone into the basketball arena when it was below land level?
- Big dramatic moment at the end…I’ll sacrifice myself by cutting this cord and getting electrocuted and falling into the water…..cue dramatic music and awestruck onlookers…..wait, no, I’m instantly okay.