His insolence will only make my conquest more satisfying.
Gaming The Europa Universalis 4 Experiment II (sign ups for Experiment III open)
- Thread starter Phil Jones Face
- Start date
So I'm getting my ass kicked in the first update...Oh shit, @Solius isn't hanging about!
He's immediately declared independence from @maniak. It's @Solius, @Shakesey, Scotland and Lithuania vs @maniak and @GreatDane
The odds don't look good, maniakbros.
@Shakesey refuses to help though and his 17k stack sits in Norfolk.
No wait.
It's moved to Gloucester.
Okay, this was unexpected.
Rather than defend his continental possessions, Shakesey has chickened out and surrendered Maine without a fight to PSV. I guess it makes sense. He has 17k troops marching up and down Swedish hills like the Grand Old Duke of York.
Rather than defend his continental possessions, Shakesey has chickened out and surrendered Maine without a fight to PSV. I guess it makes sense. He has 17k troops marching up and down Swedish hills like the Grand Old Duke of York.
To Saint Helena?
It isn't going well maniakbros
Swedish numbers are overwhelming. Norway is 50% under Solius' control.
And things have gone from worse, to worse for Shakesey. He's decided to unleash the War of the Roses on himself.
In the space of a couple of months, he's gone from marching back and forth, to surrendering Maine without a fight, to finally fighting a battle, to starting a civil war at home. Except his army is much smaller now.
Swedish numbers are overwhelming. Norway is 50% under Solius' control.
And things have gone from worse, to worse for Shakesey. He's decided to unleash the War of the Roses on himself.
In the space of a couple of months, he's gone from marching back and forth, to surrendering Maine without a fight, to finally fighting a battle, to starting a civil war at home. Except his army is much smaller now.
Classic @Shakesey
@Phil Jones Face, there's a limit of 10 different people for the @ tags. I got the one with so many in it, but maybe just because I was mentioned early.
I'm going cross eyed trying to keep one eye on England and one eye on Sweden. More and more rebels keep popping up in England and Shakesey] is running around them in circles, avoiding a fight. They're sieging down his French possessions now.
@nimic has declared war on Granada. @The Cat refused to defend Granada and abandoned them to their fate.
And war between @altodevil and @Organic Potatoes! The Ottomans have declared war upon Albania, who Venice was guaranteeing the independence of
@nimic has declared war on Granada. @The Cat refused to defend Granada and abandoned them to their fate.
And war between @altodevil and @Organic Potatoes! The Ottomans have declared war upon Albania, who Venice was guaranteeing the independence of
A glimmer of hope for Shakesey, maybe? Sir Robin stopped bravely running away and engaged the rebels. Who divided their armies and refused to help each other. He stack wiped the rebels. They are now evenly matched and Shakesey is back to staring at the enemy.
Shakesey has also now allied Simbo, in addition to nimic, Solius and Salt Bailly.
maniak forced Shakesey to white peace out of the war. But it wasn't enough for maniak and he had to soon after release Solius from the Kalmar union.
Annnd the English civil war is over. Bored of the staring contest, Shakesey decided to surrender to the rebels. In the space of 10 years he's managed to lose two wars and surrender a vital province without a fight.
Organic Potatoes war with altodevil is going aswell as you would expect. He's hiding in Venice while the Ottomans siege down Albania and Trevisio
Meanwhile, Simbo's king has died. And on his deathbed, he released @WI_Red from the personal union. Naples is free!
Elsewhere, nimic took Granada without much of a fight.
Shakesey has also now allied Simbo, in addition to nimic, Solius and Salt Bailly.
maniak forced Shakesey to white peace out of the war. But it wasn't enough for maniak and he had to soon after release Solius from the Kalmar union.
Annnd the English civil war is over. Bored of the staring contest, Shakesey decided to surrender to the rebels. In the space of 10 years he's managed to lose two wars and surrender a vital province without a fight.
Organic Potatoes war with altodevil is going aswell as you would expect. He's hiding in Venice while the Ottomans siege down Albania and Trevisio
Meanwhile, Simbo's king has died. And on his deathbed, he released @WI_Red from the personal union. Naples is free!
Elsewhere, nimic took Granada without much of a fight.
Did you change map mods? I was going to ask about those checkered borders on the last page.
As it should be. Now it's time to get Sicily back and then it's Pope toppling time!
Catholics, unite under my banner and we'll kick the ottomans out forever!
I'm not religious in real life but here I'm praying for a swift death for Alto
Seems I am bound by no country. Doesn’t matter who I am. I am become death, or something.
Despite being heavily outnumbered, the Venetians were no match for the Ottoman janissaries. The Ottomans annexed Albania. Organic Potatoes lost no territory in the war. Only his pride.
Cheimoon elected a new King, who happened to be of Austrian heritage (no undue pressure from the Emperor there. honest). And Crackers begun dickswinging again and offered it in congratulations. They then both set hobbers as a rival.
But it appears that Ladislaus quickly died, Cheimoon pretended it never happened, cancelled his alliance with Crackers, elected a king of Hungarian blood and Crackers withdrew his offer of dickship.
Duke Eboue decided to die without an heir, which has triggered a succession crisis in Burgundy. He decided to resolve it by becoming PSV's bitch and is now in a personal union under France. This had the unintended consequence of Eboue then inheriting all of SilentWitness' territory and Holland ceased to exist. In many ways, this is classic Eboue. He got fecked over, so he fecked over somebody else first.
Elsewhere:
You immediately set Simbo as a rival after he released you too, to add insult to the wound.
Still sulphurs
Cheimoon elected a new King, who happened to be of Austrian heritage (no undue pressure from the Emperor there. honest). And Crackers begun dickswinging again and offered it in congratulations. They then both set hobbers as a rival.
But it appears that Ladislaus quickly died, Cheimoon pretended it never happened, cancelled his alliance with Crackers, elected a king of Hungarian blood and Crackers withdrew his offer of dickship.
Duke Eboue decided to die without an heir, which has triggered a succession crisis in Burgundy. He decided to resolve it by becoming PSV's bitch and is now in a personal union under France. This had the unintended consequence of Eboue then inheriting all of SilentWitness' territory and Holland ceased to exist. In many ways, this is classic Eboue. He got fecked over, so he fecked over somebody else first.
Elsewhere:
- Dan decided to declare war on Wallachia and Byzantium while altodevil fought Venice. Sneaky sneaky. He took some of Wallachia and it's now called "Danish Wallachia" which is very confusing.
- RedSky decided to do the old switcheroo and is back to being a Kingdom. Because reasons.
- Solius has decided this is a speed run and is now attacking Novgorod, who Dr. Dwayne has claims on. Dr. Dwayne panicked and declared war on Novgorod too and it is now being attacked from both sides.
- P-Nut annexed Medina and conquered some other Arabian tribes
- Organic Potatoes allied WI_Red.
- hobbers annexed his vassal Glogow
- nimic didn't like Eboue being PSV's bitch and begun supporting Eboue's independence.
You immediately set Simbo as a rival after he released you too, to add insult to the wound.
Still sulphurs
No loyalty in the 15th century huh.
Should have released me earlier, even death shall not protect the bastard and after I topple the Pope I'll excommunicate the corpse too.
oh nice, good game everyone.
fecking brexiteers, we had a great thing going...
Word from Byzantium!
Solius' war with Novgorod is going well. But it's going better for Dr. Dwayne. While Solius does all of the dirty work killing the Novgorod armies, Dr Dwayne, our tap in merchant, sweeps in and carpet sieges all the territory for himself. As such, Dr Dwayne is generating much more warscore.
The Cat lost an easy war with Tlemcen. His moroccan allies to the west and P-Nut put their fingers in their ears and pretended they couldn't hear his cries for support. Now rebels roam the desert.
But what's this? Hold your horses. @SilentWitness is back! Eboue was beset by peasant revolts in the low countries, which he didn't react to and PSV is now only beginning to help with. Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys.
"...some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn."
Elsewhere:
Solius' war with Novgorod is going well. But it's going better for Dr. Dwayne. While Solius does all of the dirty work killing the Novgorod armies, Dr Dwayne, our tap in merchant, sweeps in and carpet sieges all the territory for himself. As such, Dr Dwayne is generating much more warscore.
The Cat lost an easy war with Tlemcen. His moroccan allies to the west and P-Nut put their fingers in their ears and pretended they couldn't hear his cries for support. Now rebels roam the desert.
But what's this? Hold your horses. @SilentWitness is back! Eboue was beset by peasant revolts in the low countries, which he didn't react to and PSV is now only beginning to help with. Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys.
"...some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn."
Elsewhere:
- P-Nut has allied his neighbour The Cat. Is this in response to Ottoman gains against the Karamans?
- hobbers has annexed his final vassal. He has no strong allies however and is rivalled by Crackers, Cheimoon and Dan. Bukkake incoming?
- Dan is gifting Byzantium gold in their fight for survival vs altodevil.
- Salt Bailly set Simbo as a rival. Simbo already has nimic, PSV, Morocco (who it's somehow losing to in a war) and WI_Red as rivals. Nobody likes poor Smeag.. Simbo.
- PSV annexed Lorraine, Auvergne and Armagnac
- MadDogg continued raiding Kazan for money.
@SilentWitness lives! Probably not for long. But he's here! For now.
I think Eboue is just toying with him tbh. He's like Joffrey.
I would say I like what's happening so far, but to be fair I've just gained some bits of France so I'm more of an overseer to history turning out the way it should than a warlord.
Cheimoon elected a new King, who happened to be of Austrian heritage (no undue pressure from the Emperor there. honest). And Crackers begun dickswinging again and offered it in congratulations. They then both set hobbers as a rival.
But it appears that Ladislaus quickly died, Cheimoon pretended it never happened, cancelled his alliance with Crackers, elected a king of Hungarian blood and Crackers withdrew his offer of dickship.
I feel there's a kind of theme going on here...
Patience, padawan. You've gained a lot of territory.
Spare a thought for your arch nemesis Shakesey.
Dan continues his meddling in other players affairs. To recap: he broke Moldavia's alliance with Dr Dwayne, he seized Wallachia which is bordered and claimed by Cheimoon/altodevil, he sent money to Byzantium in their war vs altodevil, made anhalt a junior partner to block GreatDane's expansion and he is now starting a proxy war against the Teutonic Order by supporting Danzig's independence - more lands that GreatDane has claims on.
Solius' and Dr. Dwayne's carving up of Novgorod is complete and they now share a land border. Solius peaced out first, taking arguably the richer provinces (greener colour = more developed)
altodevil has conquered Constantinople, transferred his court and capital to the city and renamed it Kostantiniyye which is a bit of a mouthful. I'll still call it Constantinople.
And finishing on a more happy note, I'd like to extend my congratulations to Princess nimic (aged 9) and King Simbo (aged 10) on their marriage. The second cousins decided to tie the knot in Valladolid, uniting the two kingdoms in a personal union. The event can trigger when the countries have different gendered rulers and aren't at war. Simbo has now gone from having WI_Red as a junior partner, to being nimic's junior partner in the space of 20 years.
May their children have strong chins and glorious genetics.
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Solius' and Dr. Dwayne's carving up of Novgorod is complete and they now share a land border. Solius peaced out first, taking arguably the richer provinces (greener colour = more developed)
altodevil has conquered Constantinople, transferred his court and capital to the city and renamed it Kostantiniyye which is a bit of a mouthful. I'll still call it Constantinople.
And finishing on a more happy note, I'd like to extend my congratulations to Princess nimic (aged 9) and King Simbo (aged 10) on their marriage. The second cousins decided to tie the knot in Valladolid, uniting the two kingdoms in a personal union. The event can trigger when the countries have different gendered rulers and aren't at war. Simbo has now gone from having WI_Red as a junior partner, to being nimic's junior partner in the space of 20 years.
May their children have strong chins and glorious genetics.
@GreatDane had declared war on @hobbers. hobbers triggered the war by forming a personal union with Wolgast, which GreatDane has strong claims on. GreatDane impulsively declared war in response. The odds were heavily stacked against GreatDane, with maniak not joining the war to help his ally.
And it ended brutally. However Emperor @Crackers intervened after the peace was signed and demanded his fellow HRE member Wolgast to return Neumark to GreatDane, which they sheepishly did.
altodevil attacked Epirus, the final independent Greek city state and seized its territories. Interestingly, Epirus shared WI_Red's culture and was allied to Genoa, which gave RedSky a heart attack when the Ottomans turned up on his border. altodevil also conquered Crimea. He now shares a land border with MadDogg
While nearby, PSV annexed Orleans and declared war on Savoy, pushing into Italy and towards RedSky. RedSky, borrowing Dr. Dwayne’s Sun Tzu’s book on warfare immediately copied and declared war on Savoy too. They carved it up between themselves and Genoa.
in other news:
- maniak has allied with Dr. Dwayne, hoping to encircle speedrunning Solius
- The Cat conquered Mzab
- Shakesey has begun the conquest of Ireland and is supporting the independence of Eboue, along with nimic/Simbo.
- P-Nut continued attacking into the Arabian interior.
- SaltBailly and nimic/Simbo declared war on Morocco independently of each other.
I will not stop until I’m the big Nordic wang.
After @hobbers defeated GreatDane, he immediately turned south and declared war on @Cheimoon. The war went badly for the Hungarians, with hobbers winning the decisive battle early on.
After hobbers had sieged down most of Hungary, Desperate @Dan decided to get a piece of the action and declared war on Cheimoon too. Classic Dan.
hobbers demands of Cheimoon weren't too bad. He limped away licking his wounds.
Then Dan asked hobbers to hold his beer and took a massive shit on Cheimoon.
In other news:
- Dan annexed Moldavia on the border with altodevil.
- altodevil attacked Serbia and Bosnia, annexing them both. Cheimoon and Organic Potatoes didn’t dare defend either.
- Organic Potatoes attacked and annexed Ferrera which borders RedSky.
- Solius declared war on the remaining 2 Novgorod provinces. Hours later, Dr. Dwayne did the same.
- The Pope called for a crusade against altodevil.
@Cheimoon you're letting the side down. Do I need to annex you and run the whole fxucking empire myself?!?!
I see you @Organic Potatoes
@Cheimoon your lands are mine. 
WI_Red is begging his Italian brothers Organic Potatoes and RedSky to help him vs PSV. Organic Potatoes joined vs the fight vs France, while RedSky sent PSV a 12k army with a 2 star general as mercenaries to siege down Organic Potatoes
Emperor Crackers died, so the Imperial Diet was called and the 7 Electors (including Crackers, hobbers and GreatDane) voted on a new Emperor to replace him. They overwhelmingly voted for Crackers to replace himself.
hobbers threw a dirty protest and voted for Landshut instead.
(you'll notice that the Emperor doesn't have much authority. His attempts to reign in the Italian states isn't going well)
@PSV inherited the throne of @Eboue. Eboue has been absorbed into the French kingdom entirely.
Dr. Dwayne declared war on MadDogg. It was a bloody war which resulted in the Great Horde being dissected.
