RAWK Goes Into Meltdown 2016-17 Edition

[fishfingers15]

They closed the game thread against Southampton on Wednesday midway the match apparently.

They closed the Karius thread after his disastrous game against Bournemouth and haven't opened it since.

I mean seriously, imagine if this forum was ran like that.

Redcafe would have gone into hibernation from December 2015 to February 2016.

cnut, but well played

 

[SteveJ]

Wouldn't be surprised if they're discussing this discussion...

*Meanwhile at RAWK*

Out of the mists of time, a band of iniquitous villains arose in the North. And they did mock the holy sanctum of wisdom that is RAWK. Alot.

Mock away, mock away, unholy Caf
Thou jests are as ancient as whiskynose SAF
And so on

5 times

 

[Akshay]

Why do they all talk like they're King Theoden rallying the Riders of Rohan?

A frighteningly accurate description.

 

[Grylte]

Wouldn't be surprised if they're discussing this discussion...

*Meanwhile at RAWK*

5 times!

 

[Schmiznurf]

Can I post my poem making fun of them?

 

[Mciahel Goodman]

Why do they all talk like they're King Theoden rallying the Riders of Rohan?

 

[Cantona_Forever]

5 times!

From 18/5 now only 5.

 

[Bwuk]

What would they use if we equaled 5 times?

 

[Regulus Arcturus Black]

On Zlatan:

Quote from: goalspaytherent on Today at 11:58:05 AM
Phil babb doesn't we will be able to cope with zlatan .....If babb was playing I might agree with him!!

When I hear things like this about Ibrahimovic I find my myself racking my brains at what actually there is to deal with. He doesn't bully defenders or drag them out of position, he doesn't sit deep and make life difficult for defensive midfielders and he doesn't run in behind. Whenever I watch him he never really impresses me. He has got a good goal scoring record this season but stating that our defence won't be able to deal with him is a very odd thing to say.

 

[Vanrouge]

Yeah, he went a bit OTT with the swearing, guess its just frustration. But the message he was trying to get across I admire

Oh, swearing doesn't bother me in the slightest. What makes me laugh is the elevated language, all that "cry havoc and release the dogs of war" rhetoric. And that doesn't actually bother me per se. It does make me laugh, though.

 

[Vanrouge]

What would they use if we equaled 5 times?

Moral victories.

 

[Lord Megadrive]

What would they use if we equaled 5 times?

League cups la 8 times la

 

[Lord Megadrive]

Can I post my poem making fun of them?

I would say yes but then we would be doing Rawk with the poem.. rawkception I think

 

[Chorley1974]

I think they might be the only footballing forum on the internet that doesn't allow during-play match discussion amongst their members. Instead, they only allow a running commentary thread where a few vetted members of the stasi post positive, one liners about the match action.

Great post, I love my espionage books, great to see the stasi has extended it's influence to this forum.

 

[montpelier]

Can I post my poem making fun of them?

I would think so, we've had some before. It will have to be abysmally side-splittingly shite though, obviously.

 

[EyeInTheSky]

On Zlatan:

He is desperately trying to convince himself and others that he can't see why the leagues in form and top goal scorer won't cause their leaky defence problems.

The most delicious part is his nauseating attempt to act nonchalant about it

Come Sunday his disingenuous attempt at an opinion will be like those comedy TV moments where someone tries a mic drop moment by swigging a cup of coffee not realising it was volcano hot and scalding their mouth while trying to keep a straight face. The Cnut

 

[Schmiznurf]

I would think so, we've had some before. It will have to be abysmally side-splittingly shite though, obviously.

Imagine it with a scouse accent.

Liverpool, you are my club
I think of you and have a rub
If it wasn't for sexy klopp
We wouldn't be near the top
With that done we're here to stay
It's our year so go away
Five times now we have won
The champions league number one
Jurgen klopp please don't go
Or i'll cry and scream oh no
Five times five times it's our year
Is all you will ever hear
Liverpool you are my club
Now eff off I want a rub

 

[Lord Megadrive]

Imagine it with a scouse accent.

Liverpool, you are my club
I think of you and have a rub
If it wasn't for sexy klopp
We wouldn't be near the top
With that done we're here to stay
It's our year so go away
Five times la now we've won
The champions league number one
Jurgen klopp please don't go
Or i'll cry and scream oh no
Five times five times it's our year
Is all you will ever hear
Liverpool you are my club
Now eff off I want a rub

You need a la or two in there

 

[The Mitcher]

Imagine it with a scouse accent.

Liverpool, you are my club
I think of you and have a rub
If it wasn't for sexy klopp
We wouldn't be near the top
With that done we're here to stay
It's our year so go away
Five times now we have won
The champions league number one
Jurgen klopp please don't go
Or i'll cry and scream oh no
Five times five times it's our year
Is all you will ever hear
Liverpool you are my club
Now eff off I want a rub

 

[Ramshock]

But look at this according to Souness

Souness is @Cassady

 

[spwd]

What would they use if we equaled 5 times?

Hit the woodwork champions, 5 times la, although the Pog may beat them on his own.

On Zlatan:

Yeah apart from all the goals he scores what is there to deal with ffs

 

[clarkydaz]

Why do they all talk like they're King Theoden rallying the Riders of Rohan?

No matter the results today, I do not see us losing tomorrow. Jose Mourinho may be a mega-twat, but what matters most is that our players have kind of let themselves and Klopp down in the last game and I can not see this happening two games in a row. They'll be fired up like final eleven Spartans at Thermopylae and if Manchester United come out to play at all - we'll wipe the floor with them and make their mothers cry. No other outcome is possible in this universe.

Believe

 

[Vanrouge]

Ha ha, they can't seem to help themselves. The red men are coming up the hill. Again. FFS. Thermopylae!

 

[Schmiznurf]

Ha ha, they can't seem to help themselves. The red men are coming up the hill. Again. FFS. Thermopylae!

In reality they are Sisyphus.

 

[Vanrouge]

In reality they are Sisyphus.

Ha, true!

This quote from Wikipedia's Sisyphus entry actually sounds like Liverpool Football Club:

"He was punished for his self-aggrandizing craftiness and deceitfulness by being forced to roll an immense boulder up a hill, only to watch it come back to hit him, repeating this action for eternity."

 

[Vanrouge]

"The red men are being eternally crushed by a massive boulder rolling down a hill" doesn't quite have the same epic ring to it, does it?

 

[clarkydaz]

Ha, true!

This quote from Wikipedia's Sisyphus entry actually sounds like Liverpool Football Club:

"He was punished for his self-aggrandizing craftiness and deceitfulness by being forced to roll an immense boulder up a hill, only to watch it come back to hit him, repeating this action for eternity."

Rolled it 5 times la

 

[Vanrouge]

Rolled it 5 times la

 

[Schmiznurf]

Ha, true!

This quote from Wikipedia's Sisyphus entry actually sounds like Liverpool Football Club:

"He was punished for his self-aggrandizing craftiness and deceitfulness by being forced to roll an immense boulder up a hill, only to watch it come back to hit him, repeating this action for eternity."

Exactly.

"The red men are being eternally crushed by a massive boulder rolling down a hill" doesn't quite have the same epic ring to it, does it?

Haha, how about Scousyphus?

Rolled it 5 times la

 

[SteveJ]

Ha ha, they can't seem to help themselves. The red men are coming up the hill. Again. FFS. Thermopylae!

"He was punished for his self-aggrandizing craftiness and deceitfulness by being forced to roll an immense boulder up a hill, only to watch it come back to hit him, repeating this action for eternity."

Fixed:

They'll be fired up on Spar cans and Monopoly

 

[Prodigal7]

Ha, true!

This quote from Wikipedia's Sisyphus entry actually sounds like Liverpool Football Club:

"He was punished for his self-aggrandizing craftiness and deceitfulness by being forced to roll an immense boulder up a hill, only to watch it come back to hit him, repeating this action for eternity."

We have finally found the perfect analogy for Liverpool football club

 

[SteveJ]

Those cheeky twats at Cafe Rouge are comparing us to soddin' Syphilis...

...

 

[Regulus Arcturus Black]

#believe Aragorn, believe!!!

 

[Vanrouge]

Fixed:

RAWK said:
They'll be fired up on Spar cans and Monopoly

 

[Vanrouge]

We have finally found the perfect analogy for Liverpool football club

I think we have! someone once described Phil Jones as "like watching a washing machine fall down a mountain." Let's hope he rolls over a few "red men" this Sunday!

 

[Lord Megadrive]

...

 

[Mciahel Goodman]

Rolled it 5 times la

 

[SteveJ]

Gawd blimey...

There's not a person on this planet who could make me feel better about being in the trenches ........ maybe Robocop

 

[Schmiznurf]

syphilis...

Haha, idiots.

 

[SteveJ]

Kill it with fire:

Song for Klopp

My first attempt at writing a song for the gaffer. Plays to the tune of "Seven Nation Army" riff. Quite popular at stadiums.

Klopp, heavy metal football
Klopp, go 'ed, get a lottaaaaa goals

Klopp, he'll be breaking glasses
Klopp, he made believe the maaaasses

Klopp boss of the Reds for long
Klopp the normal one with nooooo song


Listen to the guitar riff from 0:51 to 0:58

Your thoughts, lads