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2014-15 Performances


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5.6 Season Average Rating
Appearances
35
Clean sheets
12
Goals
0
Assists
5
Yellow cards
4

Sied

I..erm..love U2, baby?
Joined
Nov 28, 2013
Messages
10,360
Sadly - or fortunately - the text is hidden behind a paywall, but you can take a guess at what it's like:

MARRIED Manchester United hotshot Antonionio Valencia has been EXPOSED while playing away with two nubile aspiring models, one of whom is underage & is featured on Page Three. The big-earning immigrant ace sent explicit photos, unsuitable for publication in a family newspaper, but we're owned by evil bastards so we've printed them anyway. In the wake of his sordid disgrace Valencia has gone into hiding, which will hardly shock United fans.
:lol:
 

Amethyst

It's banter lads, inn't?
Joined
Jan 17, 2013
Messages
9,383
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In an apple vacuum...
Beautician Katy Latham told last night how football idol Antonio Valencia sent her a string of nude snaps — and branded him a creep who wanted her for sex.

Tsk! What a creep to fancy a woman and want to shag her.

Manchester United winger Valencia, who has an eight-year-old daughter with wife Zoila Meneses, sent Katy X-rated pictures of his willy plus snaps of himself wearing tight-fitting boxer shorts.

How did that conversation go down? Thankfully, shocked Katy has recovered her sensibilities to tell us:

“I feel like all he wants is sex — nothing else. That’s what he expects. And I don’t want that.”

Clearly not.

But, again, this is kiss ‘n’ tell without the kissing. Antonio Valencia is allegedly guilty of thinking about extra-martial sex. Maybe porn mags and late-night telly tossing shows should be open to singles only.

Single mum Katy said she was flattered when the Premier League star first contacted her in August on social media site Instagram. She said: “The first time he messaged me, he said, ‘Hay amor (sic)’, which means ‘My love’ in Spanish. He said I was beautiful and was asking me to send him pictures… Some of his messages were dirty. He made it clear he wanted to see naked pictures of my private parts…

“We were just messaging and then, completely out of the blue, he sent me a picture of his willy.

And:

She said: “He sent me photos any time of day. I’ve lost count. — and I haven’t asked for them once. He usually texted, ‘Hay amor’ followed by a photo of his willy.”

The second woman says:

He has also sent video clips on phone messaging service Snapchat, during which he performs graphic acts on himself.

Neither woman met the player.

Last night Valencia denied sending the women explicit photos. He said: “Pictures? I’ve not sent any pictures.” He added: “I have nothing to say. I have a wife.”

Look like this is one for the penis ID parade…​
 

Snow

Somewhere down the lane, a licky boom boom down
Joined
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Lousy Smarch weather
Sadly - or fortunately - the text is hidden behind a paywall, but you can take a guess at what it's like:

MARRIED Manchester United hotshot Antonionio Valencia has been EXPOSED while playing away with two nubile aspiring models, one of whom is underage & is featured on Page Three. The big-earning immigrant ace sent explicit photos, unsuitable for publication in a family newspaper, but we're owned by evil bastards so we've printed them anyway. In the wake of his sordid disgrace Valencia has gone into hiding, which will hardly shock United fans.
I'm sorry but isn't Page three the bit where you've got topless women? How can she be topless in a national newspaper if she's underage?
 

krazyrobus

Full Member
Joined
Mar 23, 2007
Messages
4,754
I love it, she is so indignant about the photos but not enough to make some money off them.
 

Sied

I..erm..love U2, baby?
Joined
Nov 28, 2013
Messages
10,360
I nearly forgot he played football after the latest shenanigans.

If we're missing Herrera and Valencia against West Brom I'm a bit worried how Fletcher will fill in. Mind you, Valencia pleasantly surprised me if you keep things simple in that role.
 

ZDwyr

Full Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2014
Messages
7,318
I nearly forgot he played football after the latest shenanigans.

If we're missing Herrera and Valencia against West Brom I'm a bit worried how Fletcher will fill in. Mind you, Valencia pleasantly surprised me if you keep things simple in that role.
Think afro
 

kotha

Full Member
Joined
Mar 11, 2014
Messages
1,710
I nearly forgot he played football after the latest shenanigans.

If we're missing Herrera and Valencia against West Brom I'm a bit worried how Fletcher will fill in. Mind you, Valencia pleasantly surprised me if you keep things simple in that role.
feck.. Just as we start appreciating him as a midfielder now this happens. Playing West Brom without Herrera as well as Valencia to fit in for him doesn't fill me with confidence.
Think afro
Is Ando back? Rather him than Fellaini.
 

gooDevil

Worst scout ever
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
25,162
Location
The Kids are the Future
Oh ffs! This is madness....am I in Sparta?!

As the gods are surely conspiring on behalf of our Reserves to get them into the first team, I suggest van Gaal simply avoid trouble by promoting Pereira, McNair and Thorpe permanently to the first XI.

DeGea
Rafael Thorpe McNair Shaw
Blind
Pereira Herrera
diMaria
Rooney Falcao​
 

Ducklegs

Part of first caf team to complete Destiny raid
Joined
Jun 17, 2011
Messages
8,761
He has an injury and literally nobody cares.

Such a complete lack of reaction speaks volumes about him.
 

Annihilate Now!

...or later, I'm not fussy
Scout
Joined
Nov 4, 2010
Messages
50,081
Location
W.Yorks
feck.. Just as we start appreciating him as a midfielder now this happens. Playing West Brom without Herrera as well as Valencia to fit in for him doesn't fill me with confidence.

Is Ando back? Rather him than Fellaini.
Periera or Anderson over those two.
You do remember how utterly useless Anderson is... right?

I suppose the benefits to playing Anderson is that then we can call for Fellaini... and then after he plays, we can call for Anderson... won't this vicious cycle ever end...
 

Rykker_4united

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Keep Rodgers at Pool.
You do remember how utterly useless Anderson is... right?

I suppose the benefits to playing Anderson is that then we can call for Fellaini... and then after he plays, we can call for Anderson... won't this vicious cycle ever end...
At least Anderson has some sense of creativity and a first touch. His work rate won't matter as much with Herrera and Blind with him.
 

Annihilate Now!

...or later, I'm not fussy
Scout
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Messages
50,081
Location
W.Yorks
At least Anderson has some sense of creativity and a first touch. His work rate won't matter as much with Herrera and Blind with him.
I think my lunch was probably more creative then Anderson...

We should just play Perreria, even if we lose, at least its a youngster gaining some experience... At this point, there is no added value in playing Anderson, there is seemingly no future for him at this club.
 

sizzling sausages

Thinks TBP is a soft tagline whore
Scout
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Jun 9, 2013
Messages
26,349
I think my lunch was probably more creative then Anderson...

We should just play Perreria, even if we lose, at least its a youngster gaining some experience... At this point, there is no added value in playing Anderson, there is seemingly no future for him at this club.
What did you have for lunch?

I agree that we shouldn't play Anderson, he has none of the qualities that make Herrera such a good option there. He doesn't even have the qualities that made Valencia do good there.
 

Sied

I..erm..love U2, baby?
Joined
Nov 28, 2013
Messages
10,360
Hopefully Herrera will be fit in time and that'll solve the problem. If not my order would be:

Perrera > Fletcher > Fellaini > Anderson

Januzaj won't even be considered for that role imo. Also I think I'm largely putting Perrera first because I'm still scared from the whole Pogba thing...
 

Annihilate Now!

...or later, I'm not fussy
Scout
Joined
Nov 4, 2010
Messages
50,081
Location
W.Yorks
What did you have for lunch?

I agree that we shouldn't play Anderson, he has none of the qualities that make Herrera such a good option there. He doesn't even have the qualities that made Valencia do good there.
A Tuna Sandwich, and I toasted two slices of bread, after which I buttered and put some Mature Cheddar Cheese on top of.

Delightful it was. Anderson would have been proud.
 

khoazany

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Jul 2, 2012
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Singapore
Anderson? I would rather play Pearson,Rothwell or Harrop there.Pereira over him is a no brainer as the kid is already better than Ando.
 

FromTheBench

Full Member
Joined
May 3, 2014
Messages
10,480
It will be Fellaini most likely if Herrrera and Valencia stays out. Pereira on the bench.

Carrick should be close to a come back too ?
 

Sam

New Member
Joined
Aug 1, 2007
Messages
31,585
Never thought I'd see the day that I'd bemoan an injury to Valencia. But with Herrera out, the thought of having to witness Fellaini or Fletcher again fills me with dread.
 

Glanville95

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Apr 14, 2013
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Give Pereira a chance. We will probably have to rotate the team for the Chelsea game anyway and he's unlikely to feature in that. He's more suitable for the diamond than Fellaini and Fletcher anyway.
 

ZDwyr

Full Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2014
Messages
7,318
If he's injured it'll be Herrera or Fellaini I think who replaces him. Can't see Januzaj playing that position and Fletcher has basically disappeared since the start of the season (which is a good thing).
 

Señor

Humongous twit who can't read
Joined
Jan 5, 2014
Messages
8,721
This is a joke right?! Another f**ing injury!! Ridiculous!
 

Getsme

Full Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
11,244
A Tuna Sandwich, and I toasted two slices of bread, after which I buttered and put some Mature Cheddar Cheese on top of.

Delightful it was. Anderson would have been proud.
You should try that with a bit of pepper lettuce with that., adds a bit of crunch and goes really well with tuna.
 

Getsme

Full Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
11,244
Never thought I'd see the day that I'd bemoan an injury to Valencia. But with Herrera out, the thought of having to witness Fellaini or Fletcher again fills me with dread.
That, and the fact he actually played very well against Everton.
 

Walters_19_MuFc

Full Member
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Sep 3, 2013
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29,858
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Birmingham
Ahhh, hope Valencia's back for the Chelsea game. Think his energy and strength be much needed against the Chelsea midfield. It will also mean he can do a job with Rafael, doubling up on Hazard. I'd like to see a midfield four of:

Blind
Valencia - Di Maria
Herrera
 

Lawman

Correctly predicted Portugal to win Euro 2016
Joined
Dec 21, 2006
Messages
10,639
Location
Scotland
Ahhh, hope Valencia's back for the Chelsea game. Think his energy and strength be much needed against the Chelsea midfield. It will also mean he can do a job with Rafael, doubling up on Hazard. I'd like to see a midfield four of:

Blind
Valencia - Di Maria
Herrera
Plus we have Carrick Mata Rooney Fellaini all capable of playing in there! Feck me we are strong!!