RAWK Goes Into Meltdown 2015-16 Edition

montpelier

Full Member
Joined
Oct 24, 2011
Messages
10,637
Oh it's proper cheered me up, I've started with their pre match predictions

I think we will batter them, just hope I don't get battered as I am sat in the home end!
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Newcastle have been dreadful recently, if they embark on a revival soon it's probably still not going to be against the Mighty Reds, we can smash these.
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If we get the first goal we'll tear the fecking heads off these.
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I don't think the barcodes are capable of parking the bus. It's tyres are flat, it's engine is knackered and all the windows have been put in so the ball will go clean through it anyway.
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Onward to p2...
 

JustFootballFan

Thinks Balotelli & Pogba look the same
Joined
Jan 16, 2013
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4,245
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Liverpool
Benteke is properly shite under Klopp. Cripples their offense. And even if fans in general and Pool fans in particular shit on Lallana, he is by far and away their most important offensive player besides Coutinho.
 

Irrational.

Full Member
Joined
Aug 10, 2011
Messages
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LVG's notebook
Horrible, horrible 'performance'. Just awful. So typically Liverpool to feck it up when all our rivals have dropped points. Urghh.

Newcastle had conceded 8 in their last two games and we don't even manage a fecking shot on target. Chuck in a horrible deflected own goal and a wrongly disallowed wonder goal and you have the recipe for a truly woeful afternoon.

Massive reality check. It's the hope that fecking kills us, every time.
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feck me do we need improving in centre midfield. Lucas was beyond awful. Allen and Milner not all too great either.

Bad loss, no doubt about it. We'll be ok for top 4 but as for a title challenge, to make up for this, we'll have to go on a winning run till the end of the year. Tough ask that.

We'll recover from this. Just brush ourselves off and go again really.
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Martin Tyler's wife is getting a celebratory feck tonight. He's elated
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It was never a 2-0 game, hard playing against homer officials.
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We're still gonna win the league, just maybe not this season
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We were out musseled in the end
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What the feck was that? Complete and utter shite. I blame Klopp and I'm not afraid to say it. It was clear at HT it wasn't working and he did nothing to change it. We needed two strikers on and he didn't do anything until it was too late. Not a single shot on target. Abysmal.

The offside goal is irrelevant in terms of our performance, but what a shocking decision. Klopp should have fecked the linesman out of it. We can't sit here and take that shit, Chelsea or Utd wouldn't.

If Rodgers was the manager he would be sacked after that.
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Our players are fecking thick, there's very little game intelligence.
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DatIrishFella

Band of Brothers, Thief
Joined
Jul 4, 2012
Messages
9,589
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯
What the feck was that? Complete and utter shite. I blame Klopp and I'm not afraid to say it. It was clear at HT it wasn't working and he did nothing to change it. We needed two strikers on and he didn't do anything until it was too late. Not a single shot on target. Abysmal.

The offside goal is irrelevant in terms of our performance, but what a shocking decision. Klopp should have fecked the linesman out of it. We can't sit here and take that shit, Chelsea or Utd wouldn't.

If Rodgers was the manager he would be sacked after that.
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A little bit OTT, even by RAWK standards.
 

Shark

@NotShark
Joined
Feb 1, 2012
Messages
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Location
Ireland
Not having that! We were poor today but deserved at least a point but for unacceptably poor officiating in the so called best league in the world. That's without even talking about Colocinni's two footed studs up on Ibe in the 1st half where he doesn't even get a yellow let alone the straight red it should have been.
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Reminds me of this guy. :lol:

 

Offside

Euro 2016 sweepstake winner
Joined
Jun 9, 2012
Messages
26,776
Location
London
It's not like they weren't beaten by Crystal Palace at home a few weeks ago. Yesterday they were title contenders :lol:
 

SteveJ

all-round nice guy, aka Uncle Joe Kardashian
Scout
Joined
Oct 22, 2010
Messages
62,851
RAWK reacts to Chelsea fancam videos:

Christ almighty, what is he wearing? He's dressed like a cross dressing Elmer Fudd.
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Chelsea fans always make me laugh. I've met the odd real one but most are hoovered up non-football fans that think it's 'jolly well fashionable to go and watch a rum old game of soccer and pretend that I'm a jolly fine cockernee with my jolly woollen hat and a spanking what-ho! scarf!! Let's crack out the champers boys and jolly well show what jolly fine jolly cracking rumbling fans we all are!! What-ho!! CHAMPERS!! RAH RAH RAH!!!" types.

They wouldn't know a fecking football fan if they fell over one.

Plastic knobends.
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SteveJ

all-round nice guy, aka Uncle Joe Kardashian
Scout
Joined
Oct 22, 2010
Messages
62,851
Gol123 said:
Don't they call us chavs though? Also, not sure rentboys act like that either. Very bipolar insults.
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A prize to anyone who identifies the famous RAWK clown who posted the second quote in my...er...post.
 

Happytom82

Correctly predicted Portugal to win Euro 2016
Joined
Apr 23, 2014
Messages
693
SteveJ said:
A prize to anyone who identifies the famous RAWK clown who posted the second quote in my...er...post.
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I've started reading everything here with a Jimmy Liddell-voice in my head, so him ;) sounds like him as well.
 

gooDevil

Worst scout ever
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
25,162
Location
The Kids are the Future
Ødegaard said:
I'm more shocked that he isn't banned.
Absolutely zero contribution, and bad one-liners.
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If his attempts to score points wern't so funny I'm sure he'd be gone.

We came up around the same time, iirc. He used to post more, I remember arguing with him before it became obvious you couldn't lose an argument against him.
 

VorZakone

What would Kenny G do?
Joined
May 9, 2013
Messages
33,081
King Kendrick said:
In these dark times, let us turn to the book of Kopites to give us strength.
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Whoever wrote that needs to give me their drug dealers phone number because you need to be on some extraordinary wild stuff to write that crap :lol:
 

cesc's_mullet

Get a haircut Hippy!
Joined
Apr 9, 2006
Messages
27,066
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Arsenal
Plech was well before his time. Same to with @sincher

I wish they both were around more often, haven't seen Plech in years.
 

SteveJ

all-round nice guy, aka Uncle Joe Kardashian
Scout
Joined
Oct 22, 2010
Messages
62,851
Madness from RAWK, on Chelsea's troubles:

http://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?topic=308183.msg14329876#msg14329876

RAWK said:
On a day when a barell of oil is set to reach low prices not seen for decades, when Chelsea lose again and The Minging One went full Gwyneth Paltrow in his post match performance, when rumours already fly about the hot seat tennancy at Chevrolet Stadium, i can finally see it all clearly. Its obvious. Its an extraordinary set of circumstances that could just as easily pass by unnoticed, just some things that happened. But it could also be the perfect storm that is sometimes needed to clear the air. The start of an unimaginable change.

It will start in the corridors of power at Stamford Bridge. Club captain and all round nice guy John Terry requests a meeting with his Manager and club owner. During a meeting which was later immotalised in the Pulitzer winning book "The King Rats Speech" by Terry himself, he made an annoucement that would start an avalanche.

You see John had remained awake the previous night, haunted by his thoughts, frozen in his memories. It had been a great career, medals and captancies, hero to millions, leader of men, proud as punch was Englands Brave John. He also reasoned with himself that he had never really put a foot wrong in any other aspect of life. Role model. "Fackin gent", John mumbled drowsily.

Something that John had recently read was also on his mind. An article on newly appointed Valencia coach, and ex international teammate, Gary Neville, had pointed out that Neville had relinquished his armband and hung up his boots midway through a title chasing season. That bothered John. That a Son of Neville knew when to walk away rather than tarnish his legendary status with team damaging, sub par performances.
"Fackin prick" thought John, remembering how much he had hated sharing a room with Neville on England duty. Straight as an arrow was Gary. Never into the booze or the hookers. Just an all round pain in the arse. Moaned about everything. Sense of humour bypass as well. John remembered the night when he had drunkenly placed a used condom in each of Garys slippers, and had braced himself for a hilarious bollocking when Neville bounced out of bed the following morning, jumped in his slippers, and froze stock still as he realised instantly what was going on. Instead of the rage induced bants John loved of a morning after, he sat open mouth as Neville removed the offending articles, put them in the recycle bin in the bathroom, and proceeded to lecture John on the importance of recycling and social responsibility, and also congratulating him on his awareness of STD rates in Bratislava.

John had decided there and then that he couldnt stand this ball bag, and refused to share with Neville again. Added to that the know it all gnome had been taking a pop lately as well. Absolutley slated John several times for his performances. "I'll do the prick at one of those legends charity games" John resolved. "That fackin poodle headed mouth as well"

All this musing led John to one conclusion. If Neville knew when to call it a day then so should he. Preserve the legacy. "Time to walk away John" he admitted tearfully to himself, before finally sleeping briefly.

It was early next morning when J.T strode up to the reception at Stamford Bridge, and told the bird with the cracking tits that he would be requiring a meeting with the Gaffer and the Owner as soon as they got here. "In the owners office if he dont mind" John said, giving the mortifed young woman another long slow glance. "Cut that out" he chuckled to himself as he walked away. The girl was only working at the club as she was one of the players Sisters or Cousins or something like that. University work experience someone had mentioned. Strings pulled no doubt. But John had learned his lesson in these situations, and shook his head clear as he headed upstairs to his meeting with destiny.

John only had time to admire his portrait on the wall of the Owners waiting room, before the Russian strolled in, with the haggard looking Portugese a few steps behind. The Owner ushered them both into the inner office, where he had coffee and pastries brought in, and told them both to settle on the plush chairs. "Another Fackin gent" thought John. He would miss the Owner.

Following pleasantries, or a pleasant as it gets in the Managers case, John cleared his throat and made his announcement.

Effective immediatly John Terry was hanging up his boots. It was a heartbreaking decision, but made with the best interests of his beloved club in mind. It was time to go.

The silence was broken by a snigger from the Manager. "I knew you would be the one to betray me john" he said. "I made you, gave you all, raised your level, and you desert me in my time of need" The manager smirked smugly to the Owner and said " I told you these assholes were not with me, sabotaging my genius, heres your proof" He was slowly turning purple now.
"Quiet" roared the Owner
"I have also made a decision" he said. Turning to John, he first thanked him for many years of loyal service, and then said" But John, I dont want to lose you from the Chelsea family, and I have a project in mind you might like"
"Oh, lets hear about it then" said John
The owner went on to outline how he had recently acquired another football club, in the Russian second division, away in the North East of the place. Probably be closer to Vancouver than Moscow actually. But its a project that the Owner is going to take seriously and he needs a manager. This is where John comes in.
"John, i have decided to send Jose here to Russia, to lead this new and very exciting project, and i want you to take over right here at Chelsea, right now" the Owner announced through the biggest shit eating grin John had ever seen.
Stunned, neither Terry nor The Minger moved. Time passed, impossible to tell how long. Finally the Manager exploded without warning and launched into a rant that J.T later described as "Fackin monster"
The Owner stood, and very quickly the Minger retreated to his chair and silence. Towering above him the owner said" Jose i have taken the liberty of having your house packed this morning by a team of movers i brought over from Russia. Very large, very strong men. They will be quick. And of course i have put everyone you love on a plane to Russia where you will be re united on arrival. Now go. Out of my sight"
Terrified, and not willing to give up that 37 million by quitting, jose scurried out of the office and off to obscurity,
"feck me" John said. "What just happened? "
"Your the new manager of Chelsea John" said the Owner, "Now get to work"
"Yes Sir" John almost squeaked as he jumped towards the door. "Oh, Boss, I'll be needing a P.A. Dont mind if i just use that bird from the front desk do ya? John grinned over his shoulder as he headed off to his new post.
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