RAWK Goes Into Meltdown - Quadruple Watch 2022/23

[rimaldo]

Give us a poem

it started so well
the darwin flick,
a courtois spill,
the pitch so slick

then the goals came
by the twos and threes.
we’d conceded 5,
after the courtois knee

humbled and beaten
klopp vanquished again
my instanbul dream
my instanbul hell

 

[Winrar]

This result just shows how poor Liverpool are, they lost 5-2 at home to Real Madrid while we went toe toe with Barca (who are 8 points clear of them) away from home and got a draw that felt more like a defeat.

Man I really, really hope that this rings true in the league. We are long overdue in delivering these scum a good pasting.

 

[Red Shorts]

it started so well
the darwin flick,
a courtois spill,
the pitch so slick

then the goals came
by the twos and threes.
we’d conceded 5,
after the courtois knee

humbled and beaten
klopp vanquished again
my instanbul dream
my instanbul hell

never disappoints

 

[Gurtej]

Liverpool are so so open to attack through their midfield and defence … it’s laughable…

Madrid could have easily scored more goals….They exploited and showed everyone pools weakness….

turning the corner around, lol…. First cancel the hotel

 

[No Idea For Nickname]

Modrić outrunning, outplaying, outthinking and outperforming in every way out midfield at his age is a bit sad. We shat the bed, Alisons goal killed us.

Felt like a turning point really. You could really sense the deflation after it. Then Gomez losing his head at the start of the second half.

...

Real showed us how far we've fallen compared to the best teams in Europe in just one season. Unless we're willing to make significant investments (and sort out the backroom staff) as soon as possible it might be a while before these games are played at Anfield again.

Boss should show the lads the crowd clapping RM off and let it be known that they let that fecking happen.

Have to say that's some team as to come back and take the piss out of us at Anfield. Crazy. Men v boys n old legs

When’s the last time we conceded 5 at home? Absolute slaughter - big, big, big, big problems at this football club.

Oh lord. Taking off Gakpo and Nunez was a howler. Especially for two guys with no match fitness.

Just focus on the league. We have to get top 4 or we are not playing in CL for a while I think.

Getting tonked by Brighton and Wolves is one thing. But for me, that tonight showed starkly how far we’ve dropped below elite levels.

Bah!

Shit result but two fluke goals against us.

3 goal gap isn’t a true reflection of the game.

Ref was shite too.

RM are jammy bastards

They're European Champions.

We've been battered by the likes of Brentford and Wolves in the last few weeks.

What were people expecting?

...

Positives (I'm trying here):

1) Perhaps we can now focus on top 4 more.
2) There can't be any illusions about how far this team is from where it should be. Significant investment needed. This result only underlines it more.

4th went when we didnt re-enforce the midfield in January. FSG were busy flashing their kecks at Qatar instead.

...

Look on the bright side, if there were away goals rule we'd need 4.

No away goals!

Thank feck for that, I was worried there for a minute.

...

Gone from going for the quad to 4th place trophy in a season

Cant win the CL without a midfield and a net spend of 2p.

I'm not even mad, just sad that it's over. This great team that won everything is officially finished after tonight, but we'll go again.

Absolutely sick of that fecking corpse Ancelotti

*sigh*
....
...
*sigh*

 

[AdamColeBebe]

"we were unlucky"

"Not good but feck me never seen such a spawny team as them"

Oh RAWK

 

[No Idea For Nickname]

Quote from: Stockholm Syndrome

I may be on my own here, but I am coming away from that match now, and you know what, I'm not angry in any way shape or form.

We got beat by a better side, we had deficiencies in our game and if those turn up a Real will punish you, but even when we were off tonight, there's still a fair bit I can take away as a positive.

This isn't the Liverpool side that lost to Brighton, lost to Wolves and played terrible at home, lost to Brentford, it was even better than the Chelsea at home performance.

We can't let this make our heads drop, because there's plenty good there in my opinion. But Real are just an incredible team, and an insanely lethal team, they attacked on signs of weakness.

Most other teams won't be as destructive as Real there.

Never has a username been more apt

 

[Jack-C20]

My personal favourite.

2014: Liverpool fan gestures 'fives times' to Real Madrid, who have won it 10 times.

Took me too long to work out why he had six fingers in the first picture.

 

[OhGee]

Pool supporters can take comfort in the scrapping of the away goals rule…

 

[Wumminator]

Give us a poem

Book your tickets he roared, cuz we’re sure to be back,
Nothing will hold back our new look attack,
We’ve Nunez and Salah and Gakpo is class
We’ll set off the fireworks and water the grass

It started so well; it started so bright,
Nunez is scoring and Courtois is shite,
They’re going through Joe Gomez like he’s not really here,
The worst performance at Anfield since Jurgen’s veneers.

As I’m watching the game and Salah dives like a twat,
The realisation hits me, Madrid aren’t all that,
They’re a distant second to Barce all the way over in Spain,
And what will brings the Scousers incredible pain

Is the fact we’ve just drawn with the champions elect,
With an attacking performance that leaves me erect,
Rashford and Garnacho and Bruno and Fred,
United are once again dominating in red.

 

[17 Van der Gouw]

Give us a poem

Kinda impressive that its knowledge is so current

 

[No Idea For Nickname]

Just beat them 4-0 in Madrid and we'll be fine.

You people worry too much

We definitely have given other fan forums plenty of ammunition this season, and it's far from over yet.
We'll be back I'm sure but it's going to take a lot of money and I think 2 or 3 seasons. Was a cracking few years though.

...

Getting ole’d at Anfield and not putting one of them in row z was unforgivable
They need rapping about that. Lost so much heart at 2-2
It can’t happen

Reminds me of when Barca won 3-1 at Anfield in 2001.

...

I just hope this result won't affect us in our fight for top4

Well that was a bit shit!

Time to concentrate on the league position, mickey mouse cup anyhow.

Theyre the worst team in the world to be 2-0 up against after 15 minutes.

If we never play them again in my lifetime it'll be too soon and wevd got to go to their place in 3 weeks.

...

I had the hotel booked and everything in Istanbul

Well Klopp did tell you to book it

Seriously though, if Jürgen knew last season we needed a rebuild why tell people to book a hotel for next season

Pretty sure this has come as just as big of a shock to him as us

Did he think he would get a midfielder

Jurgen Klopp - Hey John we need a midfielder or two as Milner and Hendo are ageing and the rest are crooked… Plus the young ones can’t cut it yet… Remember Gini, remember we still haven’t really replaced him…

John Henry - Let’s find someone on a free like Arthur Melo from that bent club Juventus… He was once a Barca player don’t you know…

Jurgen Klopp - Yes yes John but what about signing Jude Bellingham from Dortmund…

John Henry - Wait until the summer

I mean this wasn’t the interaction between the two but WHAT THE feck HAS HAPPENED?

Jurgen plays Bajectic an 18 year old kid over:

ALL OUR MIDFIELD

Arthur won’t play any more minutes

 

[Erics_Collar]

There once was coach called Klopp
Who was quite prone to throwing a strop.
But what else can you do
When you lose 5-2
I'm wanking and I just might not stop.

 

[Who's Kissing Cameras?]

Quote from: Stockholm Syndrome

Genius.

 

[JinnerJamie]

Book your tickets he roared, cuz we’re sure to be back,
Nothing will hold back our new look attack,
We’ve Nunez and Salah and Gakpo is class
We’ll set off the fireworks and water the grass

It started so well; it started so bright,
Nunez is scoring and Courtois is shite,
They’re going through Joe Gomez like he’s not really here,
The worst performance at Anfield since Jurgen’s veneers.

As I’m watching the game and Salah dives like a twat,
The realisation hits me, Madrid aren’t all that,
They’re a distant second to Barce all the way over in Spain,
And what will brings the Scousers incredible pain

Is the fact we’ve just drawn with the champions elect,
With an attacking performance that leaves me erect,
Rashford and Garnacho and Bruno and Fred,
United are once again dominating in red.

Bravo!!

 

[The Corinthian]

Quote from: Stockholm Syndrome

 

[No Idea For Nickname]

It’s been a brilliant ride from 2017-2022.
We still make fluke top 4.

But we need 2 new world class midfielders.

Mad the way Ancelotti does get the better of Klopp every time though, is he clearly that much a better manager or just luck with the players at his disposal?

From a champs league final against them that we dominated and unluckily lost, to being bent over at home barely 6 months later.

Each team has barely changed!

...

Is there another youngster in our academy that can play holding midfield or as a 8?

This is crazy

3rd richest club

Sorry 2nd richest as Man City are full of bent money

And we play two youth players in our midfield

Granted if they were Gavi and Pedri…

Serious lack of investment

...

Great finish by Nunez.

Your stream is reeeeaallllyyyyyyyy behind and I’ve got some bad news for you!

...

For the first time in 30 years, I've left the game early. Best team in the world a few years ago and just left to age with investment comparable to a championship team.

I hope all the FSG fanboys can enjoy their quorn and nivea contracts.

...

Klopp is one of the greatest coaches but he’s never been a tactician. Ancelotti is one of the greatest tacticians in football history. That’s why we always come out second against his sides. It has nothing to do with personnel. Even if Ancelotti had Fabinho and Henderson I would bet on him out classing a Klopp side who are always one dimensional and whose players despite being here 7 years plus some of them still don’t know how to slow a game down.

Isn't it widely known in the game Ancelotti isn't much of a tactician and is more of an arm around the shoulder manager? We spent the best part of 3 years winning fairly boring 1 or 2 nil games under Klopp where we stopped playing after the first half an hour.

...
Luka is 57

I reckon a 57 year old Luka Modric could still get in our Midfield

Class player. One would think he'd be slow or lack the ability to play so much but he finds a way. Compare with our CMs. He relies on other strengths.

...

3 goals down to a Spanish side, 2nd leg to come, someone get on the phone to Divock

It's all turned to shit since we let him go.

 

[Black Adder]

it started so well
the darwin flick,
a courtois spill,
the pitch so slick

then the goals came
by the twos and threes.
we’d conceded 5,
after the courtois knee

humbled and beaten
klopp vanquished again
my instanbul dream
my instanbul hell

Ffs

 

[Scandi Red]

Quote from: Stockholm Syndrome

 

[Crackers]

There once was coach called Klopp
Who was quite prone to throwing a strop.
But what else can you do
When you lose 5-2
I'm wanking and I just might not stop.

 

[Massive Spanner]

it started so well
the darwin flick,
a courtois spill,
the pitch so slick

then the goals came
by the twos and threes.
we’d conceded 5,
after the courtois knee

humbled and beaten
klopp vanquished again
my instanbul dream
my instanbul hell

 

[Chief123]

I don't get the angle,


If my aunt had balls she be my uncle.


And even if they do that run, they still be 5 points behind, and possibly still out of the champs league spots, not exactly a smashing season for them after last year's exploits.

It’s bizarre you’re struggling to understand the point. It’s not really that hard mate.

 

[MadMike]

There once was coach called Klopp
Who was quite prone to throwing a strop.
But what else can you do
When you lose 5-2
I'm wanking and I just might not stop.

Take a bow, son! If you can stop wanking, that is

 

[Siorac]

Kinda impressive that its knowledge is so current

It refers to Mane as a Liverpool player so clearly not that current.

 

[Red Shorts]

My veins, my veins!

 

[Shark]

They'll turn them over, really missed this level of delusion

We'll turn them over at their place, but we'll still go out. This is how it'll go. 4 nil up until the last minute when Vinny gets a spawny ricochet off Joe Gomrz's shinpad. It goes to penalties and Courtois scores the winner. The solid performance convinces John Henry there's been too much bed-wetting. A little tweak and a three-year extension for Milly will sort things out

.

 

[fergies coat]

Liverpool the best team the pl has ever seen,
Van dyke the best centre back there's ever been,

They got record points totals don't you know?
I remember Robbie Fowler on his knees doing blow.

Fa cup final gimps In white suits
Cantona winner gave em the boot.

Lifted the PL trophy but know one was there,
The news was about covid, so nobody cared.

Is 2023 back to normal? It must?
To the rawk thread Liverpool cycle boom bust.

 

[Suedesi]

Foul language but worth the click:

Tweet

— Twitter API (@user) date

Holy feck this was a gem

He is a 100% correct

True fan

 

[The Mitcher]

Good start.

 

[Penna]

Absolutely sick of that fecking corpse Ancelotti

I think that might be my favourite RAWK post of all time.

 

[The Mitcher]

Holy feck this was a gem

He is a 100% correct

True fan

He even mentions the books, what a lad.

 

[Trumpeter Whydah]

it started so well
the darwin flick,
a courtois spill,
the pitch so slick

then the goals came
by the twos and threes.
we’d conceded 5,
after the courtois knee

humbled and beaten
klopp vanquished again
my instanbul dream
my instanbul hell

You literally went from well to hell and still managed to produce a respectable piece of poetry. Hats off!

 

[Hoof the ball]

Their quoted heavy metal football style is basically just a chimpanzee letting loose on a drum kit

Klopp talked up heavy metal football, but all they're left with now is Nickelback.

 

[Hoof the ball]

Haha! This Spanish Real Madrid fan on DR Sports. Soon shuts up the Scouse lad.

 

[King Kendrick]

Tweet

— Twitter API (@user) date

 

[antohan]

Kinda impressive that its knowledge is so current

That's a lot better than I got after asking it to write about the game in the style of Plechazunga.

Thank you for providing the reference image. Based on it, I can see that the style you are looking for is a humorous and exaggerated retelling of the match between Real Madrid and Liverpool, with a focus on witty wordplay and puns.
So, without further ado, let me try my hand at writing about Real Madrid's victory over Liverpool in a style similar to Plechazunga:

Gather 'round, footie fans, for a tale that'll have you in stitches! 'Twas a match for the ages, where Real Madrid took on Liverpool and showed 'em who's boss. It was a classic clash of titans, with both sides looking to come out on top. But it was the Spanish giants who stole the show, in a performance that left the Reds feeling blue.

Real Madrid came out swinging, and they weren't about to pull any punches. They were like a swarm of bees, buzzing around the Liverpool defenders and making 'em look like they were stuck in treacle. And boy, did they sting! Real Madrid scored four unanswered goals, leaving Liverpool scratching their heads and wondering what hit 'em. They were like a bunch of chickens running around with their heads cut off.

But Liverpool weren't going down without a fight. They managed to score a goal or two, but Real Madrid just laughed it off and kept coming. It was like trying to put out a fire with a bucket of water - it just wasn't gonna work. Real Madrid were like a juggernaut, a steamroller, an unstoppable force of nature. They were like a herd of elephants, trampling over the Reds and leaving 'em in the dust.
In the end, it was a victory for the ages. Real Madrid emerged victorious, their fans cheering them on like they were the second coming of the messiah. And Liverpool? Well, they were left licking their wounds, feeling like they'd been hit by a ton of bricks. It was a match that'll go down in history, a true classic that'll be talked about for years to come. And as for Real Madrid? They'll be basking in the glory of their victory, like a bunch of cats who got the cream.

Absolute trash

 

[The Mitcher]

Tweet

— Twitter API (@user) date

That didn't age well

 

[(...)]

Quote from: KirkVanHouten on Yesterday at 11:21:37 pm
Last 10 minutes at the Bernabeu if we're well behind Milner should take one for the team and break Vinicius' leg as payback for what Ramos did in 2017. He surely won't be around next season to see the suspension out anyway.

To be fair, even there they find this one disgusting.

 

[ti vu]

Tweet

— Twitter API (@user) date

 

[Rightnr]

"we were unlucky"

"Not good but feck me never seen such a spawny team as them"

Oh RAWK

I wonder, did they miss them the previous times they played and lost against them in the CL?