RAWK Goes Into Meltdown 2015-16 Edition

[pierrethesnack]

No Jimmy Liddel for the Norwich game?

 

[Skizzo]

I've heard about this shithouse table before, how exactly does it work if a team bottom half of the table is in 3rd?

Something like if you beat a team you're supposed to beat then you're on "par" and get 0 points, but if you beat a team you shouldnt, you get points. Someone will be better able to explain it, but either way it's rather mental.

 

[RetroStu]

We have had the 'Alternative Premier league Table', now we have the 'Premier League results compared to expectations - league table' -

http://forums.liverpoolfc.com/threa...results-compared-to-expectations-league-table

Liverpool are doing shit on this one as well.

 

[dwd]

They will have to bring out the upside down table soon if they aren't careful.

 

[Minimalist]

We have had the 'Alternative Premier league Table', now we have the 'Premier League results compared to expectations - league table' -

http://forums.liverpoolfc.com/threa...results-compared-to-expectations-league-table

Liverpool are doing shit on this one as well.

Just took a glance at that. Such a classic example of mental masturbation.

Are football fans that thick they can't work out who's doing well by looking at the table and perhaps a table showing recent form (last six games)?

Deary me. This isn't complicated lads!

 

[Sassy Colin]

Amazing how they have managed to place themselves above us in their league

 

[dwd]

Amazing how they have managed to place themselves above us in their league

They all say we are shite and the worst United team ever though? So surely we must be expected to pick up hardly any points?

 

[Mindhunter]

To be fair to them, quite a few are taking the piss themselves. This is far from the delusion that I have come to expect. It would be fun seeing them discuss title run ins and CL finals and how the league is bent or corrupt.

They seem to have resigned to midtable mediocrity. Not good at all.

 

[dwd]

No Jimmy Liddel for the Norwich game?

 

[Parry Gallister]

Analogies Galore
RAWK said:
Picture this. Seriously, picture this. You walk into your office tomorrow, to do your job in a profession that you've been in most of your life. And a knock comes to your door. It's your secretary. "Sorry to bother you boss, but there's a couple of blokes outside who want to see you".

"What do they want?", you ask. Secretary says "They've stopped by to tell you that you should feck off and resign".

"Ok, send them in" you say.

So Darren from Thetford and his mate walk in your office and say "look mate, here's the deal, I'm a regular on the internet, I've got 10 thousand odd posts on that RAWK. I read the red tops every morning, so I don't mean to toot my horn or anything, but erm, I know my footy. I tune into Alan Brazil every morning. You could say I'm a "*******". I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news, but erm, you're going to have to do one. You'd best feck off. Me and my pal here were talking it over in the van this morning while chomping on our brekkie rolls, and yeah, we've come to the conclusion that you're a liability. We don't mean to be rude or anything, but we reckon its best you feck off

While sitting in a semi stunned state, you ask the portly rotund Darren "what is it you do for a living Daz? Play footy do you?

"Yeah" says Darren. "Me and my darts team from down the boozer play 5 a side on Wednesday nights.

And then it hits you. Then you realize that the fat fecking lard arse standing in front of you, who spends his mornings pulled in at Stat Oil garages, chomping brekkie rolls, reading the red tops and listening to Alan Brazil reckons you should be fecked off out of your job because he's a qualified authority on how to perform your duties based on the fact that him and his mates shake their beer guts around on an astro turf on a Wednesday night

Think about that for a second. Seriously, think about it. Imagine if that actually fecking happened you. How fecking unbelievably mental would that be?

I bet there's c*nts dying to respond to this post with all sorts of bollox about how you don't need to be a footy genius to spot that our manager is supposedly some useless fraud who needs to be given the door. If you're one of those then I hope you choke on your brekkie roll in the morning you Stat Oil gold card using c*nts

Rawk seems to be less delusional this year; more straight up disillusioned instead, which would be sad if there wasn't tons of ridiculous infighting to make up for it. Still can't believe they chased out the chosen one (pop).

 

[Fellainis Nutmeg]

Not happpy with Neville and Tyler

Why were the 2 wank stains commentating on Sky yesterday, 1 an ex club "legend" and the other who clearly showed his colours with his "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES" last Saturday referring to Martial costing £37 million?

Martial's price is 60m now

My point was in regards the incorrect price being stated if theyd said £60 million then yes. He cost more than Zidane. Thats Zinedine fecking Zidane probably the greatest player in the modern era... more than him. They are giving factually incorrect information as per

 

[dwd]

Not happpy with Neville and Tyler

Ignoring that there were two ex-Liverpool players sat in the studio for a game that didn't even involve Liverpool.

 

[pierrethesnack]

Not often you hear him slip out of character, but he genuinely did seem to lose it a bit at the first "SCOOBYDOBEEDOO"

 

[Jerch]

Not happpy with Neville and Tyler

Martial's price is 60m now

Well he probably thing that Martial winning a ballon d'or is just a matter of time and he will be so good that we will just pay 2m pounds extra.

 

[Fellainis Nutmeg]

He is not happy with some RAWKites comparing Gnasher to Costa "The Elephant Man"

RONALDO DOES STEP OVERS AND SO DOES LOVREN. THAT MUST MEAN THEY'RE EXACTLY THE SAME BUT THEY JUST PLAY FOR DIFFERENT TEAMS. EXACTLY THE SAME!!

fecking hell, people bending over backwards to try and cast Luis in the same light as this fecking ugly skid mark? The difference is genius, and if you don't see that, then you're wilfully ignorant. Suarez has it by the bucket load while that c*nt never has been and never will be anywhere near as good as him as a footballer. It's a bit like comparing Van Gogh to the village mental case who sticks his finger up his arse and draws in his own shit. "Yeah, but they're both artists, just different kinds!" If that makes you feel better, keep on saying it. Or try just saying it like it really is. One is capable of delighting the world with his picture of an Old Man In Sorrow, while the other disgusts the world with his picture of a Stick Man In Shit. One is pure genius who's a bit tapped; the other is a fecking dirty c*nt of a mental case with shitty fingers.

 

[gooDevil]

To be fair to them, quite a few are taking the piss themselves. This is far from the delusion that I have come to expect. It would be fun seeing them discuss title run ins and CL finals and how the league is bent or corrupt.

They seem to have resigned to midtable mediocrity. Not good at all.

No, no, this is a "Cartman tasting the tears of his enemies" moment, savor their defeatism.

 

[Cal?]

RAWK said:
Picture this. Seriously, picture this. You walk into your office tomorrow, to do your job in a profession that you've been in most of your life. And a knock comes to your door. It's your secretary. "Sorry to bother you boss, but there's a couple of blokes outside who want to see you".

"What do they want?", you ask. Secretary says "They've stopped by to tell you that you should feck off and resign".

"Ok, send them in" you say.

So Darren from Thetford and his mate walk in your office and say "look mate, here's the deal, I'm a regular on the internet, I've got 10 thousand odd posts on that RAWK. I read the red tops every morning, so I don't mean to toot my horn or anything, but erm, I know my footy. I tune into Alan Brazil every morning. You could say I'm a "*******". I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news, but erm, you're going to have to do one. You'd best feck off. Me and my pal here were talking it over in the van this morning while chomping on our brekkie rolls, and yeah, we've come to the conclusion that you're a liability. We don't mean to be rude or anything, but we reckon its best you feck off

While sitting in a semi stunned state, you ask the portly rotund Darren "what is it you do for a living Daz? Play footy do you?

"Yeah" says Darren. "Me and my darts team from down the boozer play 5 a side on Wednesday nights.

And then it hits you. Then you realize that the fat fecking lard arse standing in front of you, who spends his mornings pulled in at Stat Oil garages, chomping brekkie rolls, reading the red tops and listening to Alan Brazil reckons you should be fecked off out of your job because he's a qualified authority on how to perform your duties based on the fact that him and his mates shake their beer guts around on an astro turf on a Wednesday night

Think about that for a second. Seriously, think about it. Imagine if that actually fecking happened you. How fecking unbelievably mental would that be?

I bet there's c*nts dying to respond to this post with all sorts of bollox about how you don't need to be a footy genius to spot that our manager is supposedly some useless fraud who needs to be given the door. If you're one of those then I hope you choke on your brekkie roll in the morning you Stat Oil gold card using c*nts

According to this logic, your average citizen should not be allowed to vote in an election. Afterall, what does anyone know about running a country.

North Korea knows the way forward.

 

[ctp]

Locked thread #8294

James Milner - One man army

 

[Fellainis Nutmeg]

Not RAWK but some bits from a Fan-mail from F365

Rodgers – such a weird bloke. Geniuses are weird, but so too, I imagine, are tooth whitener salesmen masquerading as supply teachers in overly tight suits. He deserves credit for getting Liverpool playing the most exciting (but not best – no defence) football I’ve seen in the Premiership, let alone at Liverpool, but also it has to be recognised that he simply cannot coach a back line or give them the confidence to not drop a complete bollock at least once a game. Also his fabled flexibility is in fact the opposite – a slavish dedication to a failed (post-Suarez) philosophy (spit) and spouting pure steaming manure every time he opens his mouth. How does someone with his foot permanently in his mouth make so much noise?

 

[PeteReDevil]

actually felt sorry for laughing at the part about meeting the owners

 

[Van Gaalacticos]

Not RAWK but some bits from a Fan-mail from F365

Genuinely decent points in there somewhere but have to say I can't agree that Liverpool side was the most exciting ever in the premiership let alone Liverpool's depressing history in it. United from at least 10 other seasons come straight to mind and the team including Torres, Alonso, Gerrard and Mascherano was the best one they had...amazing to compare that team to now. They would love a primed Dirk Kuyt, Robbie Keane or Maxi Rodriguez now...maybe even a new Le Tallec to challenge the Ronaldos of this world.

 

[Glanville95]

Phil Thompson's article on Sky Sports epitomises the delusion associated with Liverpool. Great reading.

 

[Adisa]

Please post a link

 

[shabadu84]

http://www.skysports.com/football/n...rton-after-norwich-setback-says-phil-thompson

Liverpool's failure to beat Norwich in the Premier League on Sunday has only increased the pressure on the Reds, according to the club's former captain Phil Thompson.

Brendan Rodgers' side could only manage a 1-1 draw with the newly promoted Canaries at Anfield, meaning they have now gone five matches in all competitions without a win.

However, while Thompson admits his old team were unlucky not to take all three points against Norwich, he also feels that setback has only made Saturday's league clash at home to struggling Aston Villa even more important.

"Liverpool were very unfortunate and are obviously going through a difficult time right now," he said.

"It was one of those games and while it was a good performance, you feel like they need two goals to really build any confidence and settle the nerves, which are running through the team and the fans right now.

"A second goal would have put them out of sight and they could have run away with it, but it obviously wasn't to be and the pressure remains on for next weekend's clash with Aston Villa, then there's the massive game with Everton."

One positive to come out of the match for Rodgers and Liverpool, though, was the return from injury of striker Daniel Sturridge, with the England international making his first appearance for the club since damaging his hip in April.

"The balance of the side looked better with Sturridge helping Rodgers's system," said Thompson, who thinks the forward should also be given a run-out against Carlisle in the Capital One Cup on Wednesday night.

"Sturridge did look very rusty though and if he's not feeling too stiff, I'd be tempted to give him another 45 minutes in the Capital One Cup.

"I think [Jordan] Rossiter and [Jordon] Ibe will be given a start, while there's plenty of other talented players in the squad capable of helping the club compete in all of the competitions we're in this season."

One player who certainly caught the eye on Sunday was Danny Ings, who opened the scoring against Norwich with his first goal since moving to Anfield from Burnley in the summer.

And Thompson believes Ings should always be played through the middle now after Rodgers positioned the forward on the left-hand side of a front three in Liverpool's 3-1 loss at Manchester United in their previous league outing.

"Ings was excellent when he came on to replace Christian Benteke at half-time," Thompson added.

"I'd have liked to have seen him used in that central role when he was handed his chance against United, rather than stuck out on the left. That made me feel a bit uneasy as I didn't feel like he got a fair crack on his debut."

Always just a bit unlucky

 

[unchanged_lineup]

According to this logic, your average citizen should not be allowed to vote in an election. Afterall, what does anyone know about running a country.

North Korea knows the way forward.

To be fair though, you don't have people saying, "Oi!! Cameron!! Noooooooo!! You can't have her as your minister for education!! She's far better suited in a midfield three!"

 

[The Mitcher]

 

[Jerch]

RAWK poster:

"Martial becomes only the 3rd Utd player to score in his first 2 Premier League games following Luis Saha and Federico Macheda"

Just said on Sky Sports News ... with a straight face !!!!

And TheRevanchist response:

Macheda scored only 2 in his first two matches for us. Anything to post this:

:

Btw, Saha scoring three times in his debut is correct. He would have been a star if it wasn't for injuries.

Posting that gif there is like posting gif of Aguero goal on caf. How can he get away with it?

 

[Earthquake]

That gif is incredible, Evansat the end.

 

[Ananke]

Reading the imaginary table is a great laugh. I really want to see liverpool freefall to the bottom now just to see their imaginary table still placing them in the top half.

 

[Revan]

RAWK poster:


And TheRevanchist response:


Posting that gif there is like posting gif of Aguero goal on caf. How can he get away with it?

Let's play 'can I get banned - in the same day - in both forums for being a bit of a dick'.

 

[United again!]

Let's play 'can I get banned - in the same day - in both forums for being a bit of a dick'.

I've never seen that goal before, so thankfully that bacterial culture farm of a gif made it impossible to distinguish anything bar Aguero and Hart running around like complete bellends.

 

[Adisa]

Let's play 'can I get banned - in the same day - in both forums for being a bit of a dick'.

Had planned on taking my girl out that day. When that goal went in, she didn't even bother reminding me we had something planned. I went straight to bed in the middle of the afternoon

 

[Revan]

Had planned on taking my girl out that day. When that goal went in, she didn't even bother reminding me we had something planned. I went straight to bed in the middle of the afternoon

I didn't even watch the game. Thought that they'll win anyway, so there was no point on tormenting myself.

Then a few minutes after the United match was finished, I looked in livescore and saw that they had win. And then saw the minutes when it happened.

Watched the goal a few weeks after that.

 

[Blatzo]

Let's play 'can I get banned - in the same day - in both forums for being a bit of a dick'.

 

[montpelier]

I'm round to thinking that the primary purpose of the alternative table is enabling every post on the thread to start

''IF...

 

[montpelier]

depressed

I keep reading that Norwich are relegation fodder. they have the same points and better goal difference than we have.

 

[milemuncher777]

Let's play 'can I get banned - in the same day - in both forums for being a bit of a dick'.

The way we bottled the title by being overconfident still haunts me the most rather then this goal. It was the Wigan game when we effectively lost it, we played that day as if we'd already won the league.

My feeling after Aguero goal was, 'They fully deserve the title, no way we deserve it after the way we've bottled.

 

[pierrethesnack]

*Deadwod comment to make the page with that accursed GIF go away*

 

[Cooksen]

Fellaini killed us which lost us the title

 

[Alex99]

Thankfully I can use adblock to get rid of that fecking gif